Have you ever been with someone who makes you feel more feminine/masculine or submissive/dominant than anyone you’ve ever been with before?

[DizzyDesii]

AND DID YOU LIKE IT OR HATE IT? …. I’m normally pretty tomboyish (not to be confused with butch), dominant/assertive and a tad controlling. My boyfriend is the first guy who played this shy role that lured me in but then he slowly tried to master dominance. It used to irk me when he asked me to submit to him but now I kinda like it. Yet it makes me feel weak. At the same time, I’m more feminine with him than I’ve been with anyone… from the submission all the way to the dress style.

I’ve been buying dresses, skirts, and heels. Shit I haven't done since like college. I already know if we breakup, I’m ready to revert back to my tomboyish dominant ways. I’ll remain less controlling than before we met, but yea. I miss the old me. I miss feeling strong, independent, and in charge. We can’t even wrestle for goodness sakes because he can’t handle me and says I make him feel weak. I told him early on that I used to wrestle my guy friends back in high school and that they liked a challenge.

He just gets so insecure anytime he can’t feel as manly as he’d like. I mean he didn't even have a voice until he met me. And then he only uses that voice on me. He still rarely stands up to others. I like genuinely shy submissive guys but ones who can still standup for themselves. I can’t take his little dominant act seriously but I don’t mind entertaining it. He’s making me wanna whip out the chains just for a little roleplay to make him feel further in control #FeelFreeToList

[Starrrboy]

Yeah , something like that.. I'm a natural lone wolf.. I don't seek to be dominant or control/lead.. and I kinda have my own version of masculinity... but I happen to naturally fit some of the characteristics for that!.. so , I'm kind of a mixed bag lol.. but the thing is when girls see my dominant / masculine side.. it's OVER son.. no escape lol.. we're going with that.. You're gonna be my emotional rock.. You're gonna be the voice of reason and make almost all the decisions... and I want you to put me in my place from time to time where I playfully fight for dominance but you end up winning and then go super soft on me and cuddle me afterwards 🥺.. and don't even think about sleeping on these expectations or moving to the back seat except for a tiny little bit 🤣... do I like it? I mean , yeah.. sure lol.. whatever keeps it going haha..

[DizzyDesii]

Omg yes yes yesss. It must be an aquarius thing

[Starrrboy]

It's always an aquarius thing 🤣.. Freedom, unbotheredness, not having to fit a type is what we live for.. We're so quirky haha.. on a side note, Dune part two absolutely sucked ass!.. I'm heartbroken for real 😭 lol..

[DizzyDesii]

Lol i kneeeeew it cause part 1 was so bad 😂 was it dang near 3 hours too? The new kong vs godzilla looks as bad as the first one too

[Starrrboy]

Yeah, but the trailers were out of this world 😭... it's two hours and a half, but so misused.. I kept checking my phone the whole time.. Yeah the new Godzilla x Kong seems like another team up movie but tbh it seems a little better with a more exciting enemy than the first one.. and honestly I go in with no expectations.. it's a monster movie.. it's supposed to be cheesy and wack 😂...

[DizzyDesii]

I love monster films but good noncheesy ones. King Kong 2005 was amazing. And i personally enjoyed Godzilla 1998. These nee kings and godzillas just look awful and were

[Starrrboy]

Yeah, movies are just terrible nowadays.. The bar is too low.. if it's not horrendous that's gotta be something 🤣.. from now on, I won't get hyped for any movie!.. Dune part two was the last straw for me lol..

[DizzyDesii]

Only thing im even really tryna see this year is Kraven the Hunter

[Starrrboy]

Mine is deadpool 3.. yeah , I know you hate it 🤣..

[DizzyDesii]

Mmhmmmmmm

[Starrrboy]

😂😂...

[Joshydavid25]

"We can’t even wrestle for goodness sakes because he can’t handle me and says I make him feel weak."

Either you're secretly on PED (Performance enhancing drugs) or I question your guys testosterone levels.. Cause ain't no way.. 😂😂.. You must be mighty mouse.. Either that you you just have a lot of stamina despite the fact that you probably get slammed..

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao no im just a ruffneck 😆 i grew up around a lot of guys and my friends were mostly guys so we wrestled all the time. I thought he could handle me but he can't. I pinned him so easily and he was trying with all his might cause i saw his veins poppin out 😆😂

[Joshydavid25]

How did your little self pin that regular sized, slightly massive man down Desii? 😂😂.. Y'all must be built differently in Mississippi.. Or you just knew to go for his wrist.. Not gonna lie it does sound nice to be pinned down like that.. How possible it is with me.. I don't know..

[DizzyDesii]

I mean i am pretty strong in terms of wrestling or self defense but he's not that massive. Most of my bfs have been slim 160-180 pounds and 5’9-6’2. he's also not a fighter so i ain't surprised he couldnt handle me 😂 The child had never fought anyone in his life. I’ve never fought a girl so i can't talk and u know that fight would be different since they pull hair and scratch but i hve wrestled guy friends so i guess i was more
Ready than him. And yes MS girls are country twang ruffnecks

[Joshydavid25]

I know you said he was 5'9" and Chubby.. That's why I said regular sized, but slightly massive.. Only slightly.. LOL.. I guess he never play wrestled either.. 😂😂.. Geez I still ques his testosterone levels or maybe he's just outta shape from all that drinking.. Or both..

[DizzyDesii]

His body is back to when i met him. I don't know what kinda metabolism he got but he's skinny again. I think the alcohol put weight on him but he hasn't drank since November. he's slim. And he never works out aside from pacing around the hangar fixing planes

[Joshydavid25]

Aw so he must have a fast metabolism then.. Naturally a ectomorph.. Well that's good that he hasn't drank anything in a while.. He's moving up.. At least in that department..

[DizzyDesii]

Also ain't no way that mf 5’9. He taller than my 5’10 ex and possibly my 6 ft one. He need to remeasure his height

[Joshydavid25]

Alright alright.. Maybe I got somebody mixed up.. 😂😂😂.. I could've sworn you described him that way..

[DizzyDesii]

On one post i said he was 5’9 and starting to get a tummy. But yea he said he was 5’9. ain't no way when he taller than my exes. And his tummy went away after he quit drinking. Mountain dew was chubby after our first year together cause he refused to workout. But all my other dudes were always skinny

[Joshydavid25]

by the way, I don't know how late I am but happy Belated Birthday.. I just noticed it you turned 29.. But aw okay so he underrepresented his height I see.. Which is funny cause it's not something guys usually do.. And he was growing a beer belly.. Which is the worst.. 😂

[DizzyDesii]

Yea it was some weeks ago lol :) thank you. And he still claims he's 5’9 but i know he can’t be. And yea it wasn't a gross beer belly but def a pudge

[Joshydavid25]

Aw yeah I do think I remember you saying that your Birthday was in February... Of course Desii.. And well maybe he is around that area or your other exes were lying.. 😂😂.. And well the most important thing is that he got rid of it.. 😎👉..

[Joshydavid25]

Thanks for MHO again Desii!

[RoseySarah]

Fun change for you but at the same time your not really yourself and he sounds like he is never going to be fully dominant just trying.

My hubby is good at being dominant when he wants to. Sweet and sky but in bed wow! He is a man that makes me a woman!

[DizzyDesii]

I like that he's masculine, he's just not dominant. And i would prefer he not be dominant but at least assertive. And yes i dont feel like im myself when i have to submit. I wanna be in charge

[RoseySarah]

Kinda understandable
What would happen if you just took charge?

[DizzyDesii]

Whats happened in 90% of my relationships. I’d be happier 😆

[RoseySarah]

Then go for it one time! 😉 I have and liked it. Maybe get your fuzzy cuffs out and take his condom off

[DizzyDesii]

Oh not that kinda charge 😂 i was dominant with him our first time and he couldnt handle it so i’ve had to play submissive since. He loves it 💀 the cuff are for him to keep my legs spread lol. If i took the condom off he’d freakout. I did it the first few times and had to play it off like i was just gonna suck it. Then i started grinding on it and he didn't freak out at the time but he freaked out when i had to take a pregnancy test

[RoseySarah]

Hmmm good and to keep your legs spread? Mine are open but get tired being up straddling him holding him close as we get closer

[DizzyDesii]

His fave position is missionary. Thats normally my least fave bt he makes it interesting. However i got thick thighs and they get in the way so he wants to cuff my ankles to separate bed posts lol

[RoseySarah]

Interesting how?

[DizzyDesii]

He doesn't make it lazy or boring like my other exes. And he doesn't put all his weight on top of me despite them all being skinny

[Sonorous]

I've never been in a relationship before. But I think I'm way too masculine to allow someone to make me feel more feminine. If they try, they won't succeed. They'll just annoy me. 🤣

[DizzyDesii]

Haha thats good

[CandyLandAm3ircan]

Yes He Did
Bring Out My Inner Gurly

Then I Got Too Deep
In My Feels

And I Wasn't The One
For Him

But It Sure Was A Nice
Feeling Though

Now Im Back To
Tomboy Kiddo Me

And Tryna Shut Those
Feelings Off
Keep That Part Of Me
Locked Away

Im More Chill When
Not Tryin So Hard
Like I Was

And BeingThis Closed Off
Emotionally Detached
Version Of Myself Instead

Less Toxic Drama
That Way

[DizzyDesii]

Damn i feel you

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

It actually changes wildly for me based on culture.

When I'm dealing with Japanese, I tend to become what you might call more feminine/submissive, even greeting with a very submissive bow. It changes the whole way I speak including my body language. Yet the other person tends to become equally feminine/submissive, returning the bow.

Japanese are kind of hilarious that way. For example, not too long ago I accidentally stepped on a guy's foot in a convenience store and he bowed and apologized to me for his foot being in my way. Then I bowed and apologized for stepping on it, and we repeated this way.

Meanwhile, behaving in such a submissive way in America would get me trampled over. I'd turn into other people's footstool. So when I deal with Americans, I become much, much more dominant/assertive/masculine because I need to be.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

As for whether I like it or dislike it, it is what it is. I enjoy both. I actually like sometimes be more agreeable/submissive with Japanese and more assertive/dominant with people who aren't Japanese. And occasionally I'll even be agreeable/submissive with people who aren't Japanese and assertive/dominant with Japanese depending on my mood and the situation.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

The thing about the submissive/agreeable way here in Japan is that it promotes maximum cooperation at the cost of individual expression. So behaving in such a courteous and agreeable way for too long starts to make me feel stripped of my individuality.

Sometimes I want to get in a fight if a person steps on my foot (not to the death, just a friendly fistfight) if I'm getting bored and want to express my individuality, and that's harder to do in Japan since almost everyone is so polite.

Meanwhile, the dominant/assertive way is the opposite and puts individual expression above cooperation, and I enjoy that way but I can start to get tired of all the conflict.

So I enjoy both and try to seek a balance of both but it depends on my mood.

[DizzyDesii]

you're right about how the americans wouldve ran over you instead of apologizing lol

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

That's a kind of schizo side I have now where in Japan, you can act like a pushover and people won't push you over. In America, acting like a pushover generally gets us pushed over. So I sometimes feel as though my personality has split in half being exposed to both countries for many years now. 😅

[naartjie]

I’ve been on both sends of the stick.
It’s the worst and can kill feelings when they make you, a woman, feel more masculine. So incredibly off putting.
Now when a manly man does what is he does…😮‍💨 when he makes you feel comfortable enough to be more feminine ect… you want that man to marry you. I find I’m personally more able to love him when I’m in my most feminine and softest self and calls for a better relationship

[DizzyDesii]

How did he make you feel masculine? I was saying he made me more feminine/girly. I actually miss my tomboyish side

[naartjie]

I had to think and plan all activities we did together, I drove us, I paid for us, I think he was expecting me to initiate intimate stuff, list goes on and on. I was leading.
Some people are fine with this but I’m not.
Like you say you miss your tomboyish side, u miss my feminine side.

[DizzyDesii]

Oh okay yea i like being the planner but i prefer he drive and we split bills. I do hate initiating intimate stuff because he's def the type to only wanna do shit when he gets ready. Its annoying because no other guy would turn me down. But i see what you mean

[RavVid]

I think the opposite tends to make you feel more of the other quite naturally. So femininity around me will enhance my own sense of masculinity.

I think it sort of sucks a bit if dominance/submission is faked. Your reaction seems a little confused to me. Are you wanting him to be dominant or you to be dominant or to take turns. I'm not getting it.

[DizzyDesii]

Im dominant (outside of the bedroom) but also a bit during foreplay. Like i want to do whatever i want to to do to him. he's dominant in the bedroom but submissive outisde the bedroom. I realize i kinda asked for this so I don't know why im judging him for it 😆 i remember now on old posts i used to say i want someone submissive outside the bedroom bt dominant in it. But now that i have it, i can't take him seriously. Like he's too much of a pushover around others so its laughable when he tries to have a voice with me in the bedroom

[RavVid]

Now I'm getting it. Is it simply that he is an easy going, affable, guy who isn't fussed by much outside the bedroom? Rather than being submissive. Like I might care little if we eat Thai or Italian. - so long as I get my bloody dinner ASAP.

I what way is he submissive as opposed to easy going? The two can be confused I think.

[DizzyDesii]

I used to think he was easy going but his attitude and true colors have showed more and more. he's fake nice to most people. You can tell he just tolerates people. But he's submissive in which he won't standup for himself when others down him… his boss… his dad… his friends. He takes it out on me when im like the only person who actually has his back

[RavVid]

This doesn't sound wholesome. Family and friends put him down but he won't stand up for himself. Explains why he just tolerates people.

I'm tending to think there is not much you can do. You do need a partner that can stand up for themselves. If he is taking it out on you then that is not going to play well over the long term.

I guess you could encourage him to respond to put downs and if he could they'd stop doing it. Fixing people generally doesn't work.

Is it sufficiently a problem to break up?

[DizzyDesii]

I've been “fixing” him since we met. he's slightly improving but its clear he intends to take what he's learned and run. I’d love a future with him but I don't know if there will be one so i’ve already been thinking of his potential replacement

[RavVid]

I'm sorry to hear all of this. In what way is it clear he intends to cut and run? The other guy you were talking about seemed good for you.

[NathanDavis]

my last ex... was definitely into some of that, so yes... that sure got quite interesting and exciting

but this was under an specific context, and not my overall personality...

[DizzyDesii]

I dont mean that kinda dom/sub lol

[NathanDavis]

that's why I was specific lol... under certain context, hmm... lol

[NathanDavis]

and your first pic was about that... lmao, so I thought it could go as well

[DizzyDesii]

Oh the first pic was kinda but mainly cause im bout to bring out some freaky techniques

[NathanDavis]

well, in this cases... I am usually the one that brings a bit of a different sides in the girls that are with me...

[DizzyDesii]

Leos have that affect. He told me early on he’d push my limits and the mf already has me doing stuff i’d normally say no too. No one else will get this privilege 😆

[NathanDavis]

I see...

I don't even have to tell them, not my style... still happens, though

[Anonymous]

I used to date a girl who at one moment would make me feel so dominant and in control, and the next she would make me feel submissive and almost feminine.

I was really into it, but she was irresponsible and while it was fun for dating, it wouldn't have been good for starting a family.

[DizzyDesii]

Damn sounds relatable

[appleadayisgood]

i have never been in a relationship that made me change like that.

that gif made me precum.

have you thought of maybe lying to your guy saying he scares you when he tries to be dominant to fast.

maybe he would slow down so over time you will be somewhat ok being a little less submissive.

[IslaTheWitch]

some people have this effect :) and experiencing it is nice

I wonder if I ever made such an effect on any of my partners, lol

[DizzyDesii]

Good question. I definitely helped some tough men feel like it was okay to show their emotional side

[didichi]

I would rather be submissive. I guess it really depends on the person. I’m small/short, I will 100% be submissive to a strong/ big muscle man sheesh 😆 I will show dominance if they want me to though!

[iron_ninjs]

Not the feminine/masculine one, but dominant yes.
Apparently, I had it in me, it was just tucked away behind the my shyness. I rarely show that side. Only when I have to.

[DizzyDesii]

You’ve always given me assertive/dom vibes.

[iron_ninjs]

Really?
I guess it's shown more when I write then.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea i even remember some of your old stories that had me like hot damn haha

[iron_ninjs]

Which stories exactly?
Guess that encounter did have some positive effects.

[DizzyDesii]

Its from early last year so I don't know by heart but you were talking about some girl and how things went and something sexual
Regarding it and college

[iron_ninjs]

I vaguely remember the post, but I remember the girl in question. 😏 And the act

[SunnyRS]

I want to meet someone who can make me feel a bit submissive, I have always been in control and a bit of control freak as well, but haven't found anyone yet.

[DizzyDesii]

Oh yoh dont know who you’re missing lol

[SunnyRS]

I know

[SunnyRS]

I mean I know I am missing something

[DizzyDesii]

I know 😏

[SunnyRS]

Not going to flirt back

[SunnyRS]

You are in a committed one right now

[DizzyDesii]

Im not flirting 🙃

[SunnyRS]

Good to know

[DizzyDesii]

I was in the past tho

[SunnyRS]

What in the past?

[DizzyDesii]

Flirting last year but you already knew that

[SunnyRS]

That I knew

[ProbablyClueless]

Yup! I've been with a woman like that. It was an interesting and enjoyable experience.

[DizzyDesii]

I see

[kellytheman]

With smaller girls I do feel more masculine and dominant but if we are about the same size I like her to be more dominant and me submissive especially in the bedroom.

[Amiapowerlessman]

Dominant yes submissive no, I do tend to be a little shy at first but after that the rest is history.

[DizzyDesii]

Awww but shy is so cute

[Amiapowerlessman]

It’s aight lol.

[magiusX26]

nope. closest to that would be from self evalution and reflection post breakup

[DizzyDesii]

Breakups always make me feel stronger than before. After about 3 days of crying that is

[magiusX26]

all that it has donen as pertaining to this question, is shine a light on my DOM side.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Nope. Doesn't even go through my head.

I'm secure in my manhood and don't need reassurance of myself from anyone.

[DizzyDesii]

I wasn't referring to reassurance. More so the opposite of what you are

[DreamLife7]

My ex husband made me feel more feminine I didn't have to work. All we did was travel, I shopped and did my hobbies

[DizzyDesii]

Oh wow never knew you were married. Do you feel more independent working

[DreamLife7]

Yes, I was definitely married, lol. He was older. And like your story, he made a few promises he did not fulfill. Yes, I was. I was taken care of, but still. He was also controlling. Yes, I do feel more independent, and I love it. I always had a degree in the background to fall back on.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea the ones with money be too controlling. I’ve only dated one rich dude and yea it was not for me. So i think thats why i give broke mfs chances

[DreamLife7]

🤣🤣 so u can control them lol 😆. My ex wasn't rich though lol. He had money from military, properties and building and renovating houses.

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao whaaaat i’d never admit that 😂

[elizamichale1]

Yea my partner makes me feel soooooo submissive