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I know a few perfectionists, and they're great. My best friend is actually a perfectionist. We're friends because even though he's a perfectionist and I can drive him crazy (and he can drive me crazy), we both respect each other and hold ourselves to the same standards that we hold everyone else.

Now to the main event, do you know any perfectionists who don't hold themsleves to the same standards?

I've known a few, and we've never been able to stay in contact for long. With the most recent episode of a friend like that, I pretty quickly noticed that he quite often pointed out flaws or mistakes made by others (even if not verbally) and rarely (if ever) noticed his own flaws. But he was a self-proclaimed perfectionist.

At first I thought "maybe he's hyperfocused and that's why he can't keep track of himself sometimes" and then I thought "no, maybe he's just lazy or doesn't actually care?" And then I realized. He wasn't a "perfectionist," he just thought he was perfect. Basically, he was a narcissist.

Would you agree that perfectionists who don't hold themselves to the same standards are narcissists?

This question is motivated by a small discussion I was having on another site. It has always seemed to be women to me who can't let an old partner go, even though they might talk a lot of big talk about "being done" and moving on, they will still watch an ex on social media or even ask their friends and family about him. It seems like in the beginning they will let go completely and it might even hurt the guy, but later on they're still thinking about him or watching him on social media, even years later when he's in a totally new relationship or absolutely married. And of course, you have a lot of women who can't seem to move on from guys who don't respect or treat them well, and they'll try to hold on to him even when he keeps pushing her away.

I too recently had a family member tell me that one of my exes was asking about me - after all this time! And she was the one who ended things. I have zero interest in reconnecting with her whatsoever, as I have also grown a lot more as a person and a man since that relationship. So I find no value in re-uniting with her.

I am not saying that men never run back to an ex or can't let them go, they do exist. I'm just saying it seems like a bigger thing with women. What do you guys think?