Tips and tricks seeing a LDR for the first time?

[Anonymous]

I live in Australia, he lives in Malaysia. We met 2 years ago online and were friends for 1.5yrs. We started dating in February this year. We sorted out most of our compatiability, like marriage, kids, finances for long term growth. There were a lot of bumps between then and now, ranging from arguements and bitter feelings to sweet endearment. We voice call everyday, now we have left to videocall.

He wants me to go there, however I am hesitate to go there as I feel uncomfortable travelling on my own. He sacrificed a lot, like a promotion and annual leave to see me in November. I am feeling very scared to go. He says he has the money to come visit me here, but he does not want to as his scared of me "kicking" him out of my country.

I've been trying to muster up the courage to go there but he has a lot of plans like going to a different city and travelling to an island for a romantic getaway. But I do not think he realises its already scary for me to go there solo as a female. I wanted to convince him to come here so I feel safer but he does not want to.

Am I just nervous or should I wait a bit longer to see him in person? I intend to stay a week.

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa long distance sounds really tough, I can totally understand why you're feeling nervous! A few tips that might help:

- Talk to your guy, be really honest about feeling unsafe traveling solo. A week is a long time to feel anxious the whole trip. Could you compromise - say you'll go if he meets you halfway at first?

- Research as much as you can about safety in the places you'll visit. Look up travel blogs, expat communities online for advice. Knowledge helps anxiety!

- Tell friends/family where you're going and check in times. Carry contact info for your country's embassy too just in case. Having a backup plan lowers risk.

- Could you videochat more to help feel more comfortable with him before meeting in real life? Spend time together virtually first.

- When you do go, take things slow. Maybe start with local meetups rather than romantic getaways. Ease into spending time 1:1 once trust is built.

- Go with an open mindset. Try new things but listen to your gut if you ever feel unsafe. Your comfort matters most!

Give it more time if needed. LDRs are tough but you've got this! Communication is key - hope you both can find an option where you BOTH feel good. Stay true to yourself :)

[CuriousHubby]

Wait a little longer that fear means there is something your heart knows that your mind is not sharing with you. Something feels off and your not sure what other then going there.

My advice is time and just being online together. My life was great 3 years and one day just ghosted. Turns out I was the secret boyfriend and she had a whole life besides me.

Hours video calls and intimate talks and I was just who she cheated with. Keep a look out for red flags and only trust what you can confirm without him.

Like a promotion lost yeah sounds like just talk to make you visit him. Also don't give him sex for that week. It's something he will want right away. If he is serious he will wait till your ready!

Good luck and if it keeps being bumpy well you know it's just a fantasy