Is it bad I don’t trust my fiancé talking to his female friend anymore?

[Anonymous]

So we’ve been together for almost 5 years. He doesn’t have a lock on his phone but I never go through his phone. Friday I grab it and look at his messages and see he’s been texting his female friend stuff like wyd big booty and I’ve seen her text you miss my voice. Now i immediately ask what it was about. I didn’t yell or make any accusations.

He proceeds to tell me that that’s just joke flirting nothing serious. He’s like even her boyfriend knows we joke like that. I was upset at the fact that why wasn’t I aware of that & how long has this been going on. They tend to talk on the phone a lot and he tends to wonder off when they do.

I don’t have trust issues nor have I ever had to worry about that when it came to him. But it’s so weird how he’s like that’s just our sense of humor. We’re all grown, they’re both older than me & I do not play those types of games. I’m always open with him about everything even when a guy tries to flirt with me.

I don't know how deep those jokes go but it’s the simple fact that you’re in a relationship you shouldn’t even be joking like that. Plus I said if the shoe was on the other foot you would never let me live that down. He’d probably stay away from me just because of that. Why do something you know you wouldn’t want your partner doing!

They usually watch sports together while on the phone but now I just can’t trust it.

[HelpfulWoman]

well dug... trusting your partner is important
make a note to him that its making you uncomfortable... if its just just flirting, he'd be happy to stop that for your comfort... if he doesn't... probably time to dip frankly. don't got time for these dumb games.

[WhitneySnow]

I’d be sus too

[BetaBucks]

Your feelings are valid af. Flirting is a deal breaker for me. And that friend shit doesn't work like that. You want to be platonic, you better act platonic af. It's not like they flirt with their same sex friends.

[Asker]

Thank you!! Like how can I even trust them talking on the phone knowing they say stuff like that to each other but it’s supposed to be okay because HER boyfriend knows about it & they have that understanding when I never knew to begin with.

I just told him that I don't know if I feel comfortable with them talking on the phone anymore and he simply says he’ll block her. Now on the flip side he’ll try to say I made it to where he has nobody to talk to which isn’t fair. Don’t hold me at fault because I’m uncomfortable over something y’all did. We’re all grown I can’t respect nobody that jokes like that knowing they’re both in a relationship. And the fact he’d not trust me if I did it. It’s not fair

[BetaBucks]

100% feel you. He didn't need to outright block her, but just cut back on the talk time. My wife didn't like that one of my old female friends would call me all the time, even late at night, so I just stopped talking with her as much. We're still friends, but I respect my wife enough to consider her feelings and not talk with this girl on the phone anymore. I talk a big game, but when my wife makes it clear she's uncomfortable with something, I try to respect it. Even if I disagree. That's the kind of thing that relationships need to flourish.

[jahaims]

Being engaged to someone you don't trust is moronic

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the waters of trust and communication, huh? 🚣‍♂️ First off, feeling uneasy about your fiancé's flirty exchanges with his female friend is totally understandable. Relationships thrive on trust, transparency, and mutual respect. Joke flirting might seem harmless to some but can certainly set off alarms for others, especially when it catches you by surprise. Plus, those "what are you doing, big booty" messages? That's not something you'd expect in a platonic friendship, especially one that's kept under wraps.

Communication is key here. Let him know how his actions make you feel without sounding accusatory. It's about expressing your feelings and setting boundaries that you both are comfortable with. 🗣️💬 Remember, it's not about controlling who he can or cannot speak to but ensuring there's a mutual understanding of what's considered respectful towards your relationship.

And yeah, if the roles were reversed and he wouldn't be cool with it, that's a huge red flag 🚩 waving in the breeze—time for a serious chat about expectations and boundaries. It's all about finding that middle ground where both of you feel valued and respected. Keep the dialogue open and honest; it's the lifeline of any strong relationship. 😉

[Staximus]

If they hang out together and it's just the two of them, you have a problem.