Search Results: make up sex

I have an opportunity to marry a younger woman who has an excellent personality and is a very hard worker. We have been friends with for a few years now. It was her idea is purely for economical reasons. It would benefit us both.

But I am not in love with her and she knows that. She said she doesn’t care if I date and sleep with other people. This would be a paper marriage.

I have gotten advice for a few trusted people about this. All but one person said it’s a bad idea. I am leaning towards no myself but besides the economical arrangement a part of me wonders if I’ll ever find an ideal partner given my age.

Ever since I hit 36 (in my early 40s now) my dating life has been hell on earth trying to find a truly decent woman I feel attracted to. I have had a few flings with attractive women who would make horrible wives. I tried dating a girl who i felt so so about physically just for her personality. That slowly got agonizing. I ended up breaking up with her and that ended very badly (she went psycho).

However of me just WANTS this life milestone. But I don’t want to be an adulterer. Even though she understands I might date other woman I do have spiritual beliefs. Oddly the Bible doesn’t say anything direct about premarital sex (but it heavily implied that’s not alright). But it is VERY clear about adultery. I wouldn’t feel comfortable cheating on my wife. Even if it really is a paper marriage and it doesn’t sit well with me.

Asymmetric romantic attraction is one person has feelings and the other does not. The person who has feelings isn’t thinking clearly because chemicals are (naturally) being released in their brains compromising their judgment. But the other person can see everything as plain as day because they aren’t attracted to them hence little/no brain chemicals.

So person who has no feelings has to make a decision on how to handle a person they have influence over. The moral thing to do is be tactfully honest with the other person (and do it early). But we don’t live in a moral world so the following usually happens:

Scenario #1: Man manipulates the woman into sex when she is thinking there is going to be a relationship. Worst case scenario he gets her pregnant and abandones her.

Scenario #2: Woman manipulated the man into thinking she likes him when she doesn’t. She does this for attention, favors, free meals, free counseling, etc (stereotypical friéndzone).

Worst case scenario is she is a gold digger. Yeah she has to give him up to him at the point but she gets a huge payout for faking it. She will likely divorce him and screw him over in alimony (and she likely cheated during the marriage). She never had feelings for at all. Just a good actress.

Now roles can be reversed at times. Some women do use men only for sex and some men do seek out “suger mamas”. Some men do friéndzone women for their own ends. However for is just not as common. However I will say it is at least biologically natural to want to have sex with someone even if you don’t want a relationship. However using a person for money, ego, attention, favors, etc is downright conceited.

Anyway I got in a long “debate” with a feminist on here who believed that men should be held liable if they mislead a woman into sex. But she had no problem with women taking advantage of men via the friéndzone or worse (gold diggers). Not kidding.

I argue that BOTH genders need to watch out for themselves.

Women are notorious for sending mixed messages and “shit testing” men. They say something is okay when it really isn’t. They want to see if the guy is self controlled and wise enough to pass the test.

However there are a few scenarios men are guilty of this as well. I can think of only two scenarios where men unfairly “shit test” women.

Shit Test #1: He pressures her to have sex early. She gives it up and he then later loses respect for her.

A lot of men judge women for being promiscuous/easy. If she initiating random sex with lots of guys that’s one thing. But if a guy pressures her to do it and she gives in (and enjoys it) then he really has no right to judge her. It was all his idea.

Yet there are some men who do this and frankly it’s a double standard bs. I actually stayed in long term relationships with all three of my past gfs despite having sex with all on them within 3 dates. One ex girlfriend said she would of done it on our first date (we did on the second) if I initiated. But I am actually glad I didn’t.

Shit Test #2: Telling her you don’t mind if she hangs out and talks (a lot) with other guys including exes. However when she does the man gets angry/jealous.

Jealousy is a tricky bastard. On one end a very controlling man is extremely insecure. He gets pissed off if another guy looks to long at his girlfriend or tries to chat with her (often the other guy doesn’t know she’s taken). It can actually be a compliment when other guys check out your girlfriend/wife JUST as long they are respectful about it. But when they cross a line it deserves an ass kicking.

On the flip side some guys seemingly don’t mind at all of their girlfriend/wife hang out with other guys and even do more with them. It’s like they are somehow demonstrating they aren’t controlled by jealousy.

But the truth is some guys “say” it’s alright when deep down they are not at all okay with it. It’s there way of “testing” their girlfriend/wife to make sure they really love them.

There has to be a Temporary separation between Sexes example girls like to get hair and make up done and Shopping, guys like Golf Football an Hunting.

Is the two don't give one another room to grow Men might be feminized and woman masculinised with the two parties having zero to Naught respect for the opposite side. liie in the case of modern Feminists for example.

With that said , does your friendship circle consists of mainly girls or boy boys