Search Results: hard on when my girl is around

I hope that my question is chosen as great since I really can use so much support right now.

We are renewing our vows but I would enjoy a courthouse wedding. I don't wanna spend thousands of dollars right now on a huge wedding. Especially not right now, but maybe down the road. My husband and I would love to go to the courthouse to renew our vows. Nevertheless, family members that have been cut off expect an invite still. His mom, siblings, nieces, and nephews are the only ones going to be present. I want a small family only wedding.

While my spouse was away for work, people treated me with disgust and ruined every aspect of my character. My husband was well-known in our neighborhood, but he kept his personal and professional lives apart. He did not bring his real life outside of the home.

We live in a small gossiping community where everyone wants to know your business, and if they don't know anything about your life or you're not a member of their so-called "clique," they'll spread rumors. I stay at home and keep to myself, but that's not enough. This town will continue to spread rumors with "I heard". People in this town will say "Oh, I heard that his water is cut off" if you pee in a garbage can with no one around you. You can go to the store and mind your own business. As soon as you arrive home, someone is going to call you and say, "Girl, I heard you were in the store spending so much money; how are you doing?"

There are people that live in our community that you haven't seen ever before. It is hard to date people here because the gossipers wanna control that as well. The community we live in makes it hard to live here unless they know your business.

I just wanted to express why I want a closed private wedding. I want to live my life in this community without the community interfering with my life and destroying it.

I have my reasons why I'm still like this. I've been like this my whole and people find me weird for some odd reason. My high school years were the worst for me. Everyone used to judge me for no reason. Called me ugly and called me a boy. When clearly I was a girl. Boys knew I was a girl so why did the girls think I was a boy? My self esteem was so low back then and still is. I never did anything to anyone and nobody stayed my friend for long. Everyone from high school left me for no reason which really hurt me because I did nothing to them. Out of the blue one old “friend” texted me after 5 years. At that point I lost her number so I messaged “Who is this?” she never messaged me back. Some people really get on my nerves so that's the reason I'm silent. It's so hard to make friends nowadays because I was hurt years ago. Any advice would be really appreciated.