Search Results: husband attention

0m/36f have been together twelve years, married ten. Have four kids. Both have decent jobs, house paid for.

So the husband resents the wife, calls her “loose” multiple times during arguments, blamed her for loosing contact with his family. doesn’t pay attention to the wife, help with the kids, wasn’t going to bed with his wife for months. Had an argument and she gave him one last chance to get his stuff straight. Also told him during this time she was going to get her financials squared away so she can leave at anytime.

The wife felt like she was just existing, unattractive, unwanted for about two years. She started selling “used garments” online for attention. Ended up having an emotional affair that she met on the website for almost three months. She told this other guy she’s falling for him making plans for their future and promised she’d go with him when her marriage ends. Also mentioned she’s pretty sure her husband won’t change. Mentioned swinging to her husband, and said her marriage is indifferent if it ends. Promised the guy when the marriage ends she’ll go to him.

Husband found the correspondence with the other guy told her to stop. She went no contact with the guy for about 27 days and wrote him saying she’s thinking about him, but she can’t open up the door to him or a relationship right now, and and wished him a happy birthday.

So is this marriage doomed? Will she stick it out? Odds she’ll leave?

40m/36f have been together twelve years, married ten. Have four kids. Both have decent jobs, house paid for.

So the husband resents the wife, calls her “loose” multiple times during arguments, blamed her for loosing contact with his family. doesn’t pay attention to the wife, help with the kids, wasn’t going to bed with his wife for months. Had an argument and she gave him one last chance to get his stuff straight. Also told him during this time she was going to get her financials squared away so she can leave at anytime.

The wife felt like she was just existing, unattractive, unwanted for about two years. She started selling “used garments” online for attention. Ended up having an emotional affair that she met on the website for almost three months. She told this other guy she’s falling for him making plans for their future and promised she’d go with him when her marriage ends. Also mentioned she’s pretty sure her husband won’t change. Mentioned swinging to her husband, and said her marriage is indifferent if it ends.

Husband found the correspondence with the other guy told her to stop. She went no contact with the guy for about 27 days and wrote him saying she’s thinking about him, but she can’t open up the door to him or a relationship right now.

So is this marriage doomed? Will she stick it out? Odds she’ll leave?

This is in response to this question below:

Let's settle the debate, which is worse, female cheater or male cheater?

My answer above question is of course that both men and women are equally scumbags when it comes to cheating.

Yes men generally have impulsive sexual needs. Yes women generally have emotional and attention needs. But neither have an excuse to cheat. It’s natural to feel occasionally tempted however both men and women can have the willpower to abstain. If the temptation is getting to be too much they can break up first and then do what they want.

However a better question to ask is who owns up to their cheating bs better when they are caught or feel too guilty and confess?

From my observations cheating men are usually A) sociopathic lying scumbags who feel no guilt (maybe sex addicts) or B) normal guys who got blindsided by lust and caved in.

The A guys can’t be trusted or forgiven. But the B guys will usually be extremely remorseful and guilt stricken. That doesn’t mean B guys should be let off the hook. But they will own up to their crap. They won’t blame their girlfriend/wife for their shitty decision even if they were upset with them earlier

However I find that women who get caught cheating will often try to gaslight their boyfriend/husband. They will say “oh you weren’t there for me” or some other crap. Not all women but many of just have egos that can’t accept that they are cheating whores. So they try to placate their conscious through mental gymnastics vs. just saying “I cheated and I was 100% wrong. You didn’t deserve that and I accept the consequences”. I just do not see that many women doing the latter.