Search Results: build trust

How do you handle conflict? With a partner, friendship, work, family, etc?

Competing -
Value of own issue/goal: High
Value of relationship: Low
Result: “I win, you lose”
Competitors come across as aggressive, autocratic, confrontational and intimidating. "Standing up for your right."

Accommodating -
Value of own issue/goal: Low
Value relationship: High
Result: “I lose, you win”
Accommodators set aside their own needs because they want to please others in order to keep the peace.

Avoiding -
Value of own issue/goal: Low
Value of relationship: Low
Result: “I lose, you lose”
Avoiders deliberately ignore or withdraw from a conflict rather than face it. Avoiders do not seem to care about their issue or the issues of others. People who avoid the situation hope the problem will go away, resolve itself without their involvement or rely on others to take the responsibility.

Compromising -
Value of own issue/goal: Medium
Value of relationship: Medium
Result: “I win some, you win some”
Compromisers are willing to sacrifice some of their goals and persuade others to give up theirs, too–give a little, get a little. Compromise maintains the relationship and can take less time than other methods but resolutions may focus on demands rather than needs or goals.

Collaborating -
Value of own issue/goal: High
Value of relationship: High
Result: “I win, you win”
Collaboration generates creative solutions that satisfy all the parties’ concerns and needs. Collaborators identify the underlying concerns, test assumptions and understand the views of others. Collaboration fosters respect, trust and builds relationships. Collaborators address the conflict directly and in a way that expresses willingness for all parties to get what they need.

I’ve been seeing this guy for a while now. He always tell me how he doesn’t deal with anyone and how he does not have any family. He’s pretty much a loner. When I asked him about his past relationship’s he would say they didn’t work out because the females cheated on him. I asked him what it was he wanted and was looking for. He said to be happy with someone he could trust and build a future with. Me being myself would invite him over, cook for him and try to be nurturing and loving. He would push away and not want to cuddle then want too or then say I love you but then say it’s all different for me because I’m tying to be better but I’m messed up inside. I have pulled away and started calling him less because he’s like a mystery. He would contact me saying “I’m sorry I love you and I’m trying and I’m not use to this.” This seems to happen often with him. His actions are everywhere he’s into me then he’s pulling away and I am over it. What I’m looking for in a relationship is definitely not what he’s probably looking for even though he says it is. I was trying to be something different for him but it’s not working.