Search Results: sexed up so soon

My boyfriend and I have been long-distance dating for closer to 4 years, and it's been a rollercoaster for many reasons. But, recently, we both finally had an opportunity to spend a night together at a hotel and enjoy ourselves. As soon as we walked in since I had not seen him for some time, he wanted sex. I wanted to do it as well because, mentally, I thought it would be fun for us both. However, while we were doing it, he kept telling me not to take my shirt off and other stuff that seemed distant. He finished and was quiet, giving a stand-offish vibe afterwards. I kept asking him what the issue was, and he insisted it was nothing. Finally, once I got ready for the event he wanted to go to, he stated that he was worried about my health since I had gotten "bigger."

My weight has fluctuated a lot throughout the years in early adulthood, especially with working and college. When we met, I was on the smaller side, but it was an unhealthy time for me, hardly eating. I got on the hormonal IUD for him, and that caused me to gain a lot of weight.

I started crying and asked if he was ashamed of me, if he was still wanting me in that way, the works basically because of my body. He apologized a while later about it, and admitted saying that I deserve better which was also weird. I'm not sure how to really feel or go about this since he is health-crazy and wants to make sure I live a long life with him. However, his behavior did not match up to what he was saying. I mentioned it to a few friends to which they said that he might have seen better and now has a desire for that, or he's using health as a scapegoat to cover up his lack of wanting me now. What do you think? I'm afraid he doesn't find me attractive anymore but the weight is mainly because of him wanting this birth control in me. Do you think he is just using me for sex/companionship? Does he actually love me?

1 No. I just find “liking” anyone in any kind of a way other than friendship to be

Extremely stressful. I’m not good at it. it’s probably a terrible idea for us to do anything bc we did actually get along before. ALSO I’m not being coy. 🤨 I know often if someone says something negative it’s taken as coy and I’m being serious I honestly dk if this is a good idea. I’m also serious when I say I move SLOW and I don’t mean sex I just mean anything as far as getting to know each other….

☝🏼 …But that does bring me to my other concern before you interrupted me…

All I know about sex is I’m not ready for it and as far as WHEN I will be or if I will EVER be I have NO idea…

…So if that’s the ride you’re looking for you should exchange your ticket 🎫 and hop on another train 🚂—I mean that with all due respect.

I know sex is a big deal to most people and I don’t judge I just really dk if it’s gonna matter to me.

(So he def looked more surprised here -& maybe concerned not sure-than he did when I said “it takes me a long time to talk” & he kind of paused…then asked)

2 Sooo is that like you HATE it orrrr you just never found out? 👀

1 🤔 Fair question I suppose but it doesn’t really impact the fact I’m not in any rush. Anyhow the latter.

(He looked a bit more relaxed which honestly bothered me but on the other hand, I am the one who brought it up so I can’t fault him for reacting and we are not in a Disney cartoon so I can’t expect him to not care about sex)

(Getting over my discomfort bc it was all fair his reaction, but I guess I did not know what to say)

1 I do know I do not want to date someone who’s is having sex with other people 🤢

(He looked kind of feeling accused)

1. Oh lol no ! I don’t necessarily think that’s what you’re saying. I’m only raising it bc I USED to think it was a GOOD solution a perfect one. Like I can date whomever and never have to worry about sex! And now I don’t think it’s such a good idea.👀

CONTINUED*

I was 16 weeks into my pregnancy when I decided I didn't want to have a baby. I know I should've thought it through before having unprotected sex, but I thought a little too late. I didn't want to drag an innocent soul into a world where I couldn't give it all it needed/wanted. I thought about putting it up for adoption, but possibly not knowing the home it would end up in worried me. That's when I turned to the only option that was somewhat comforting; abortion.

Without telling a soul, including the father, I went to the doctors and was soon prescribed abortion pills. I took them like so, and I was no longer pregnant.

A few days later, my boyfriend came to see me, in which I really didn't want him to, but this was something I couldn't hide from him forever. I knew he was excited to be a father. It was one of the first things he talked about when we started dating. Now, as you'd expect, he was severely upset and now he doesn't want to talk to me at all. The last time I heard from him was 2 weeks ago, and the last thing he told me was that I was irresponsible, that I'm a liar, that he hated me.

I feel as if what I did was wrong, and I think that I should just stay away from him, but I don't want us to end on such bad terms. I don't know if I can say anything that would trigger his forgiveness.