Why "Playing Hard to Get" or sending "Mixed Signals" doesn't really work.

[DaveJord]

Definition of "Playing Hard to Get": to pretend that one is not interested in having a romantic or sexual relationship with someone in order to make that person more attracted to them.

Definition of "Sending Mixed Signals": a showing of thoughts or feelings that are very different from each other.

Playing Hard to Get

Traditionally speaking this is a concept that has deep root in our society. Even when most women / men do not fully understand that their approach to dating is rooted in the process of playing hard to get. Many women at a young age are taught that they should never move too fast with a man until they are confident of his true intentions. Meaning, that if you make it too easy for him, then he will not respect you later as the relationship matures. Most men are only interested in one thing, and if you give it away to too easily then he will lose interest. The thought process being the harder you make him work for your affection and interest the more willing he will be to invest long term.

Like most traditional wisdom this is based upon some very good advice and concepts. But in today's society with the equality of the sex's traditional values and wisdoms are placed under greater scrutiny. Traditionally men expected women to play hard to get, and therefore endured the paces that women put them through in order to earn their trust. Within modern society all the traditional roles placed on gender, meaning what a woman is expected to do and what a man is expected to do have been challenged and redefined.

So why all the mixed signals?

Again, in traditional thought, playing hard to get was generally expected of women. But in today's society it seems that the harder one makes it the less interested a good honest and genuine man becomes. Seriously ladies, think about that... in modern world a woman is expected to bring just as much into a relationship as a man, and contribution are expected to be equally appreciated and prevalent. So, is playing hard to get a good strategy?

I warn you, that most guys that strive to check all the block and meet whatever criteria you set forth, are more than likely the ones that are playing the same type of game as you are, but from the opposite side of the equation. Men know the signs of a women playing hard to get, and they will play along with that game until they get what they want.

But genuine honest men, like myself, place a high degree of value on themselves and all the things they offer and can bring into a potential relationship are turned off by the games. If the expectation is that a woman has the right to put a man through the paces to prove himself, then I have the right to do the same... and that is where it fails 90% of the time. Both of you end up not getting the degree of effort from the other person that you expected or feel you deserve.

The harder you make it the less valuable it becomes.

I for one believe that when two people meet they make it as easily as possible on the both of them to find ways to work through the process together. The harder you make it on the other person, to schedule a first date, wait on making phone calls or replying to text the less interested they become in you, for the right reasons. I mean if you are truly interested then why make it more complicated than it needs to?

If want a man or women to be honest with you and genuine, then if you're truly interested then act on it. But you feel you need to put them through the paces first, then you are not or cannot be truly interested... or you are not a truly honest person, because you intentionally or unintentionally are not marrying your words to your actions. So, you are being disingenuous.

If you're truly interested in meeting, then you make the time to meet the other person. If you are not comfortable with meeting the other person too soon or so fast, then say that. Because if that is how you feel then the honest answer is that you are not sure of your level of interest, and you need more time... so be honest about it and don't string the guy a long or send mixed signals about it. Most honest and truly genuine men with good intentions would appreciate your candor and honestly about it. Truth is that uncertainty is a sign of insecurity or lack of interest...but if you are honest about it then the guy can reassess what it is worth to him to continue the process with you. 50% of the time, an accomplished and successful man will be turned off by your level of uncertainty, but 50% of the time they may understand your position and respect you for being upfront and honest.

The wrong types will do whatever they are willing to do just to get what they want from you regardless of what you do. But if you play hard to get with a good man 90% of the time, he will lose interest and then you will be left only to choose from the best of lesser half of men still available to you. Later you end up asking yourself why you always end up with worst type of men?

And if you always go with the guys that will play or tolerate these types of games then you have already limited yourself to the lesser half of men from the start.

[Jamie05rhs]

"Many women at a young age are taught that they should never move too fast with a man until they are confident of his true intentions. Meaning, that if you make it too easy for him, then he will not respect you later as the relationship matures. Most men are only interested in one thing, and if you give it away too easily then he will lose interest. The thought process being the harder you make him work for your affection and interest the more willing he will be to invest long term."

This is actually CORRECT!
But all of these young women are MISUNDERSTANDING the concept.
They are missing the point.

What this means is to withhold SEX. Not to withhold INTEREST.
They're getting it backwards.

And now they lose on two levels:
Because #1 They're not even allowing themselves to give a guy their ATTENTION until they feel comfortable with him. But their process of making that determination is FLAWED. Because they don't have enough INFORMATION. (They have barely ANY information, actually.)
So they decide that they are comfortable with dating a particular guy, and at that point they throw all caution to the wind and put the pedal to the metal and go Full Steam Ahead! Sex and all. Because they have already made their decision.
... And then they get burnt.

#2 -- the second way that women lose in this -- is that they ignore guys who would actually be good for them (and good TO them.). Because good guys are generally awkward. And awkwardness doesn't make us feel comfortable. So therefore, she doesn't feel comfortable with the good guy, so she rejects him. Without even talking to him. She never even goes on one date with him.

[Jamie05rhs]

by the way, this was a brilliant MyTake, @DaveJord. Well done!

[DaveJord]

@Jamie05rhs Oh my god someone who actually reads something and understands the point without jumping to judgment!!!

100% correct could not say it better. With holding affection is not the same as with holding attention. This is exactly what the person playing "hard to Get" does through a careful balance of sending "mixed signals"... yeah, I am interested but not that interested.

Confident, Successful, and Accomplished people see through these types of games, and they lose interest in continuing the process before it even really got started. They see these types of games as signs of insecurity in the other person... "RED FLAG". Because those of us that have lived and learned and tried to go along with these types of things in the early stages of a relationship, have learned the hard way that these types of games do not end, they just mutate or transform or remanifest themselves into other types of patterns and behaviors later, that eventually lead to toxic relationships.

Most the guys or girls that play along do so with the intent of achieving some short-term goal... but in the long run once they get what they wanted they do not stick around. Because the juice is seldom with the squeeze.

[Jamie05rhs]

@DaveJord Exactly.

And thank you!

[bamesjond0069]

Exactly. Hard to get has to do with sex. If she's having casual sex she therefore is not hard to get. And interest needs to be shown. I'll double text a girl once and then I move on... and by move on I'm already talking to 10 women at a time, I take one off the roll and add a new one on. I don't have time for playing hard to get, I only go for what's actually hard to get... or easy hos. Lol.

[Pohjolan]

Playing hard to get is counter signaling.

A bit like a guy showing up to a fine party wearing ragged dirty clothes.

Its flexing by placing on yourself a handicap with intention of being successful anyway.

A bit like how the Red Baron painted his plane bright red.

Of course that only works for the higher tier players who can pull it off.

The average woman will successfully self sabotage herself by playing hard to get as does the average guy by wearing ragged dirty clothes.

[DaveJord]

I love the analogies!

[Bethany22]

It's always so difficult trying to figure out a stranger's definition of politeness when I initially start dating them. They do things that I wouldn't initially think is polite, and so I'd grow distant, but then I'd reflect on it a bit more and realize that there was no way of proving that he deliberately meant to be rude. Honestly, the initial dating stages are so stressful for both sexes.

[DaveJord]

Honestly you're like 100% correct.

[Mcarlier84]

I agree

[es20490446e]

If it is stressful, wrong date.

[Summeroflove]

This is the dumbest thing you can do. Dumbest game. That many times results in the other person figuring they aren’t into them and losing interest.

I don’t waste my time with women who aren’t into me or women who want to play games.

[ARecruitedPerson]

Do you believe in alphas and betas? This sounds like a MGTOW post. Of the two sexes, on average, women are more likely to avoid conflict. So if they’re not interested, they may be vague about what they mean in hopes that the guy eventually loses interest. There is a minority of women who do like to lead men on, for the sake of it. But most of the time, the reason they don’t directly say what they mean, is they fear an angry response out of the man, and in some cases that fear is justified. Both men and women are extremely insecure about dating. Society says “relationship is your worth,” so they take lack of interest in one person to mean they’re worthless. This goes for both sexes. Men however are told they should ask women out, and women are okayed to wait for advances. That’s cultural. But the “games,” are done out of fear of conflict, and understandably so. Yes, it’s be nice if we could all say what we mean and want, and it would also be nice if we could all not be offended when someone says “I don’t want to, I’m not interested.”

[DaveJord]

Not MGTOW, I love how your generationhas label or tag fir everything, then uses them to cancel out voices, be dismissing them as something they are not.
By not saying what you want, but still claiming to be what you aren't, be it out of fear or insecurity... to me its playing games. Fear of not being honest, doesn't justify not being so. It makes you guilt of sending mixed signals or playing games... and to my piont if your the person that falls into the category that you describe... then yes most honest, geniue, accomplished and genuine people will see through the act.

I am not talking about the person who is not interest and letting you down easy, by not being direct or in an attempt to avoid conflict. I am talking about the person that is interested and is intentionally down playing it. Not being honest regardless of the motivation ensures conflict instead of preventing it. Do to my piont be honest and sincere.

[ARecruitedPerson]

The MGTOW movement is nonsense, and built on some of what you have described above. But it’s not nonsense for no reason, and your post wasn’t all of that, so I’m not using that to dismiss your post, but to get into your psyche to better understand where you’re coming from. As for the person who is interested and downplaying it, they do this too, out of fear. Your aspirations for people are understandable, it would be nice to have an ideal world but it’s not possible. You seem to expect too much from people. People will never be perfect in the way you want them to be.

[LaBokaChula]

Yes!!! I agree with everything that you wrote, that is exactly what it is. So many people cannot take rejection and it goes directly to their egos. I've seen and experienced some pretty scary things due to people not handling rejection.

[DaveJord]

I get what you are saying, but I disagree to a point. There is still such a thing as original thought, even when other people have already applied a label to it and then use to try to tell you or define to you what you are trying to say or express so I disagree.

Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW /ˈmɪɡtaʊ/) is an anti-feminist, misogynistic, mostly-online community advocating for men to separate themselves from women and from a society which they believe has been corrupted by feminism.

I do not think society had been corrupted by feminism... so I disagree with this label. Nor do I believe that men need to go their own way, because that is not truly possible. But feminism has an impact on society and that has cause and effects so I COMPLETELY DISAGREE with tagging things as something they are not, in order to suppress true and genie conversations.

Honestly you tagged this or labeled it as something it's not, and then dismissed on some level, then reapplied it to try to tell me what I was really saying, when that's not at all what I was saying.

[DaveJord]

I can deal with rejection, and I am fine with it... but rejection is rooted in cause and effect. If as simple as not being interested then that is fine, but if you are engaging in a process that is not genuine or sincere then want to get upset when your called out about then yeah... label it what you want but you were not the one to reject me. You are the one that got called out and refused to take responsible for your own actions, that contributed to confuse and miss understanding.

I

[DaveJord]

Genuine not geniie

[DaveJord]

Actually, this really is the problem with dating these days... nobody listens they just assume they know what they are hearing, because someone as already tagged it as something it's not. You're trying to tell me its MFTOW when honestly, it's not, and you are dismissing it because you are already pre-disposed to dismiss it as such without applying any genuine thought to the context of the conversation.

[ARecruitedPerson]

It’s alright dude. Keep in mind I said “like a MGTOW post,” not “you have made a MGTOW post.” You claim I have presumed things about what you were trying to say, this is true. But you have also been doing this when you presumed my motives as being to silence and dismiss you. I personally don’t have a problem with you doing that, that’s why discussion and clarification exists. But you do seem to have impossible standards for everybody, and you blame the other person when they reject you, but why does there have to be blame? I’ve been rejected several times, the first time was the only time I got self-righteous about it, this was when I was a sophomore in High School. It hurts to get rejected, I get it, but it is not the other person’s responsibility to cater to your desires. They have their own. Sometimes they match, most times they don’t because we’re all different and come from different walks of life. And trust me, that’s okay. There’s no blame to go around when one person wants romance and the other person does not. It sucks when you hear it, but it doesn’t reflect poorly on you if you’re rejected, it doesn’t reflect poorly on the rejector either. You can even think of it as declining instead of rejection if that helps any.

[DaveJord]

This is not about rejection either. When the people make things it harder than necessary... people lose interest in the process. Who rejects who at that point is irrelevant.

Point being regardless of if you are a man or women, if you are seriously interest its best not to caught up in these games. In most these cases the person that claims they rejected other is irrelevant, add other person doesn't really care either way.

[LaBokaChula]

It IS about rejection.. MY experience was based upon that. I could care less what your opinion is on it. Rejection and ego come hand in hand.. This goes for a lot of people, most people can't take rejection because they were taught that they're entitled to certain things. most people feel a sense of entitlement.

[ARecruitedPerson]

He definitely is most concerned about rejection, his posts make that clear. I would add that it’s not always a sense of entitlement, but a deep-rooted belief in a relationship being the person’s worth that causes entitlement behavior as they try to get what they believe they’re nothing without. Entitlement differs in they believe it’s their right to get it and if denied, it is seen as an unbelievable catastrophe.

[DaveJord]

Obviously, this post triggered something for the both of you, and obviously you do not comprehend the larger ramifications of your own hang ups, but thanks any way for the response.

[DaveJord]

www.msn.com/.../ar-AA13HB1w

[DaveJord]

@LaBokaChula Where are you at on your ego, that leads you to reject people, then claim it's their ego and not yours? What was is you are feel entitled to or feel that you deserve to reject others, then get upset that they are upset about your bases for rejection? Are you really everything you can or should be, or do you just expect them to be everything you hope and want them to be?

[Lizsizzie]

While I agree that games in either side in regards to romantic relationships is ridiculous, this constant myth being put forth that men are bringing something of equal or greater value to the relationship and/or are putting themselves at equal or greater risk by pursuing the relationship and therefore should not have to be men and put forth more energy into initiating a relationship is honestly an offensive lie purposely ignoring biology and the differences in each sex. Women bring the sex, women get pregnant, women create children, women have to carry children, women generally have to take care of children, women generally could not defend themselves from a man to prevent being taken advantage of once they are in private proximity and it is a woman’s life, body, health, and future which is irrevocably changed without the option to run away or pretend certain things never happened once sex is brought on the table, because sex and the creation of life are inextricably linked. Whether or not you participate in a fornicating relationship, all romantic relationships are about the potentiality of sex - it’s typically just a matter of what conditions must be met beforehand. Women carry the greater burden physically and emotionally, we go through and provide something men never will or could- they are not of equal value (this is something that was understood by previous generations before sex was given as freely as it is now, but of course once men receive an abundance of something they will pretend it means nothing to them and should not be leveraged for anything else, however if things were made as they once were and sex not as readily available I highly doubt that would be the case.). Half or more than half of the time men act like they don’t care about women at all and just want to have sex with as many people as possible- women by and large are not like this again due to biological factors previously mentioned. So yes, women do expect and want to see a man put in a great deal of effort to be with her, a woman wants to see a greater level of interest in her so as to indicate a greater level of prospective commitment; because at the end of the day we are in the line of fire. I understand that you say you don’t have time for this and will more onto the next- but that’s the point. The point of women “playing hard to get” is to suss out those who aren’t interested enough, to see who really, really wants you- more than the average joe. Above average interest - above average pursuit - above average commitment- secure relationship- secure future- happy wife, happy life, happy kids, happy family.

[BullShark]

Absolutely brilliant MyTake! Perfectly worded and downright accurate, to a T. Even though I agree with everything you said right here, what really stuck out to me was the second last paragraph where you mentioned;

"But if you play hard to get with a good man 90% of the time, he will lose interest and then you will be left only to choose from the best of lesser half of men still available to you. Later you end up asking yourself why you always end up with worst type of men?"

I literally cannot stress enough on how relatable this part right here is for me, and the ONE reason why I prefer single and still am single, even after three years of being broken up. Because most girls whom I've known and whom I've felt attracted to play these stupid games and it's a massive turn off for me.

Like, everything would be fine. We'd be talking, laughing and flirting one day. Then the next day, they start ignoring my texts, start giving me the cold shoulder and just straight up start acting b*tchy. I'd tolerate this for a few days (IF I really like them) but after the third day or so of the same behavior, I'd ultimately lose interest and walk away, never speaking to them again. And then women complain why us men ignore them lol.

It's not like we want to ignore them, but a vast majority of us who aren't into stupid petty games, and are actually looking for a serious and stable long term relationship, get really turned off with this sort of behavior.

[DaveJord]

100% my experience since re-entering the dating the game. You go out have a great time laugh, joke, flirt, even kiss and what not. Then then texts start to cold down, they become hard to schedule time with, they start acting about how busy they are, don't have time to call or text... and then you start losing interest. They all say they don't want one-night stands, hook ups, or causal dating... but that is exactly what it starts to look like. They only want long term committed relationship as far as it is convenient for them on their terms, and that cheapens everything for you... so, I must of caught her on a good day then, had a great time... but long term it's not something you want to invest in?

Thats fine as long as you just say that out right without the games, because apparently, we could date just fabulously on a casual bases, but you don't want that either? So had the one date or night together and it was amazing, or you are just full of shit and not telling me. Either way I am done with it.

[DaveJord]

Mutual respect, I respect your feeling as long as you can respect mine... it's not all about you. I am sorry you feel that way, but that is not how I feel. And guess what? THATS OKAY!! Your feelings still matter and so does mine, so let's work through it without the chicken before the egg bull shit.

[KelleyNice]

Playing hard to get probably works with the elite; movie stars, NBA players, etc., that are used to being successful. That is, provided the girls is beautiful. If they show any interest, elite guys will not chase average girls. Instead, will pick the next girl, and the average girl that played hard to get, missed her opportunity for a one-night-stand with the elite guy.

Playing hard to get probably doesn't work with average guys. Usually they are rejected and typically further attempts results in more rejection and that hurts. Therefore, if a girl plays hard to get, based on the average guys' experience, they don't have the confidence to chase.

[DaveJord]

Another profound response from an expectational 13-year-old... all the elite or average talk I agree with because it true, but at the same time BS. No man or women appreciates the Hard-to-get types.

[KelleyNice]

Perhaps! However, per people.com/.../

It wasn't until the "time was right" — when they were both single in 2016 — that Musk started looking for a relationship with Heard. "She was playing hard to get for a while, which made him even more interested," the insider added.

[DaveJord]

That's the trick right, and look who Amber Heard is right? This playing hard to get in my opinion only keeps the wrong types attention and forced the hood ones away.

Only masters of manipulation are best at playing hard to get... so to me they are the ones you don't want to get got with.

[jvnxs]

I completely agree. Playing hard to get is literally making you hard to want in the first place. You're just going to confused the person you are trying to get the attention of, overall, ineffective. It's better to just be nice and act like a genuinely decent person rather than to send mixed signals.

"Meaning, that if you make it too easy for him, then he will not respect you later as the relationship matures. Most men are only interested in one thing, and if you give it away too easily then he will lose interest."

This thought process should not be taught to women when they are young. Not all men want to have sex mainly or have sex at all to begin with. A romantic relationship should be established first. It won't make him interested if you make it hard to like you.

[DaveJord]

If only more people understood this simple fact.

[fembotnpc777]

Based on your other posts, you seem like a guy who wants immediate sex. You really want to believe that all women are interested in what you're interested in, and if you only gave them enough advice, they would find their way to your bedroom, be the warm body you need by the second date, and then you'd be randomly assigned to each other in a relationship, and your lonely days would be over.

That sounds like a pile of shit to me. I can't tell you how much modern relationship dynamics like this make me want to be a cat lady. There's nothing in that arrangement that I want.

[LuvLuv89]

This is a great take on dating or 'getting a date'.

But definitely male rational bias behind it somewhat. It would be good if you could integrate the female view more. E. g. generally speaking, women do want to be chased, fussed over, subjected to some kind of charm & art of seduction. Women like attention, and some kind of drama / emotional roller coaster ride... and you'll never see these wants & needs disappear.

In an ideal world, these women needs don't have to contradict your rational opinion... but in the current world they certainly muddy the waters somewhat. I agree: if you see a potential partner displaying negative behaviors (e. g. being manipulative) any self-respecting person with half a brain would withdraw their interest and look for quality elsewhere. The saddest thing is if people could firstly, remove their egos and stop playing games, and secondly, be authentic, then dating would produce so much more value.

[DaveJord]

Totally agree with everything you said here. I think most guys expect a degree of theses kinds of behaviors... but as a women at some piont you have to get over these things and recognize the situation. This other person, brings stuff to the table as well, that's just as valuable, good or better then you offer... so you should put some value on those things and start gauging your in ego. The more difficult it becomes or you make it, well your really just devaluing the other person at some piont. So stop upping the antenna and start playing your cards. Because at some piont you're going to have to put your cards on the table.

At piont the ego caressing gets old, and longer or more you expect it the less desirable it becomes. In today's world I think men in generally are tired of it and more and more turned off by it.

[DaveJord]

Ante not antenna

[LuvLuv89]

"So stop upping the ante and start playing your cards. Because at some piont you're going to have to put your cards on the table."... well said. Mature people have much more respect for what makes a long-term relationship work... and it is largely rational factors. I vaguely recall reading "financial infidelity" is the largest cause of divorce in NZ or Western society. Not much more rational than money management.

[Voldra]

The way my line of thinking has always went; = My heart, my future, my dreams, my family, my commitment / marriage.. Are these things I'm willing to tolerate being treated like a frivolous game by ANY woman? = Hell no.. It's actually one of my boundaries & also insulting once crossed.

I'll die alone first. EVERY woman who's tried this out on me has found out exactly how cold a x4 planet Virgo with a Venus in Cancer can get:) Go ahead & play with my heart, I don't mind being alone. I rather enjoy my own company over settling for someone who's confused about what direction she wants to head in life, I'm not wasting anytime trying to convince her different.

Once those games are played with me whatever I felt withers on the vine & I move on / go ice cold in a romantic sense. I even ask myself "Do I look like the kind of guy that's going to tolerate that crap"?

[DaveJord]

"I rather enjoy my own company over settling for someone who's confused about what direction she wants to head in life, I'm not wasting anytime trying to convince her different." = Excellent response.

100% right these types make the worst type of women for long term commitment. And they get super sensitive when you suggest that you're just as much as a prize as she is... so cut the shit and tell me what's going on. If they can't level with me with in the 5 to 10 minutes without all the evasion then to me she's a just someone I might hook up with every now and then, and if can't level with me by the end of the day... then she's dead to me. If find if she wants to say she broke it off with me, and I can't handle rejection, because that's just a child's response. Obviously, she didn't learn, know, or understand anything about me. All she had to do was be honest and open about her feelings and willing to talk through it, without completely ignoring my feelings.

[tiamatx]

If there is no mutual spark why would I want to pursue? Mind you - a girl does not need to want sex on first date, but if she shows no interest, I will not want to convince her. Just like with sex - I will not try to convince a girl if she is not interested. Medieval knights might have needed to court girls for months (it was her father's decision either way), when speaking about equal position in relationship - playing hard to get is simply dishonest.

[bamesjond0069]

Playing hard to get (for attention) is low self worth and rude.

Being hard to get (sexually) is high quality and shows healthy self worth.

Playing hard to get means I move on to the next girl because clearly you low quality and I deserve better.

[Valso]

"Definition of "Playing Hard to Get": to pretend that one is not interested in having a romantic or sexual relationship with someone in order to make that person more attracted to them."

That most definitely won't work with me. If he or she is playing hard to get, he or she will remain hard to get and I'll move on to the next. 😆

[Anonymous]

One day my parents and I was on a vacation. There was a curly hair girl. She’s was directed by asking my dad if I was his son and asked him if I was single. This all really happened in Kentucky.

When I was in my early 30s. A grandmother in my home church. She wanted me to go out with her granddaughter who was 15 at that time. Her granddaughter it’s just a little sister to me.

[chicosuave]

this explains on why women always chose the wrong guy. they really dont know how to get a real man.

[es20490446e]

There's no hard to get, just people that aren't really into you.

[es20490446e]

At least for the moment being.

[DaveJord]

Thats how I take it, but its sad that just could if just said that instead of stringing it out.

[es20490446e]

I don't expect people to treat me in any particular way, I just act accordingly :D

[TheSpaceGnome]

I can't even tell when women are doing that, I just assume she's not interested.

[Anonymous]

Playing hard to get is something a child does. Well, and "women" with the maturity of a child.

[DaveJord]

Lol... yeah but as man if fight fire with fire you eventually get burnt to.

[Opinion Owner]

I wasn't suggesting men fight fire with fire; I was suggesting they avoid women who play childish games.

[DaveJord]

Oh, how hard we try, the problem is most these people men or woman realize they are doing exactly what they say they are not doing. You tell a women they are sending mixed signals and then try to have conversation about it. They will say they don't play games and act insulted that you would suggest or imply they are. Then ask okay why do say this one thing, but then do this other thing... it confuses me if you say one thing and then do another. They get defensive and then want to end the conversation and say they are no longer interested in you... but that is not what you said yesterday so who is full shit me or you?

[Surely]

What more is there to say?
When things are too hard to get. Those things might not be worth the chase!

[YHL6965]

Playing hard to get is like shooting yourself in the foot hoping you'll run faster.

[DaveJord]

Absolutely!