Fat vs. Curvy – DOESN’T MATTER

[RJGraveyTrain]

I am tired of self-righteous people making take after take about who is allowed to call themselves curvy and who is not. Any time I try to read takes about body positivity, and a lot of what I see is girls defending one body type and bashing another. The most popular one seems to be differentiating between fat and curvy. I didn’t realize that we lived in a world where we had the assumed right to tell people what they are and aren’t allowed to label themselves.

First and foremost, I want to know why it matters. If they want to call themselves curvy, who does it hurt? And where in the dictionary does it say that curvy is defined solely by a woman of one specific body type? Last I checked, the definition of curvy was a continuously bending line without edges. And guess what? Curves can curve outwards, inwards, upwards, and downwards and they can curve in all of those directions at once. Rolls are a curve, fingers have curves, your arms have curves – it’s all a curve. I’m 5’2” and a 115 lbs and I still have curves; I have a friend who is 6’2” and over 200 lbs and she has curves too. They’re all curves. There’s no exclusive rights to the curve.

It seems to me that it’s all about competing; who has the best, ideal body and who gets to wear the most currently desired label. So, instead of bringing each other up and encouraging everyone to feel good about themselves, we’ll assign ourselves exclusive rights to the title of dictator of the body brigade and begin making decisions on who can feel what about themselves.

I get it: people don’t want to associate the word curvy with what they deem as unhealthy. But here’s the kicker: someone else’s health is not your business nor is it your responsibility, not to mention you have NO CLUE what their health is. I know many plus sized people personally who are far healthier than you would assume given their weight.

I guess I just don’t get the whole “if we show people plus sized individuals who are happy with themselves it will encourage them to be fat.” No, it won’t, not if they have the proper knowledge about health in the first place. These people aren’t telling you to go out and eat a burger, they’re saying: “Hey, I’m bigger and I don’t hate myself.” That’s no more ridiculous than saying if we have transsexual actors our kids are all going to become transsexual. Teach and parent instead of relying on the media to tell people what’s right, perhaps?

Sorry for such an angry take for today, but this topic really got me going today and I’m tired of people putting each other down over something as trivial as body shape. How about we concern ourselves with our own bodies and our own health instead of worrying about others who didn’t ask for our opinions?

Have a good weekend and to my Canadian friends, happy Thanksgiving!

[CHARismatic110]

And this is why you're cool as hell in my book. I'm so very sick of this argument. People just don't get it. I'm not sure if they don't understand or don't want to understand. I got shamed into not referring to myself as curvy when I first joined this site. Then I realized that nobody has the right to tell me what can and cannot refer to myself as.

What bothers me the most are the females that are so nasty about this subject. It's like how can you as a female, put another female down for the way she looks. This debate has done nothing but drive the wedge further between women. It's really sad. And it makes me really angry.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Thanks boo. I'm sorry people have been so shitty to you.

[CHARismatic110]

You're welcome love, and thank you. It's nice to see someone else that understands.

[RJGraveyTrain]

No problem - I do my best.

[CHARismatic110]

It doesn't go unnoticed. And Happy Thanksgiving, eh!

[RJGraveyTrain]

Ehhh bud, happy Thanksgiving, hoser!

[CHARismatic110]

I so need to visit Canada!

[RJGraveyTrain]

Hit me up when you do. :P

[CHARismatic110]

Oh most definitely! 😉

[Song4TheBroken]

What do you mean 'how can you as a female, put another female down for the way she looks'? Although I don't think anybody should be putting people down for the way they look, I fail to see what a person's gender has to do with it. And people don't like it because it's dishonest. You can call yourself whatever you want, sure. But don't expect people to be overly thrilled about being lied to. It's like a white person saying 'I'm black' when they're obviously not. Sure, they CAN call themselves that if they want, but it's inaccurate and dishonest.

[CHARismatic110]

@Song4TheBroken because most females are dealing with some of the same insecurities. And females can relate to one another. But not a lot of that goes on because we're constantly tearing each other down to make ourselves look better.

[Song4TheBroken]

Yes, but not all women have the same insecurities, some might but certainly not all. Also, just because two people are the same gender doesn't automatically mean they can relate to each other. It's silly to make assumptions about people based solely on their gender.

[LashayMonaye]

@CHARismatic110 you and me both. People act as if labels are everything, when it doesn't even define who you are as a person.

[CHARismatic110]

@Song4TheBroken I'm sorry if my feeling like women should uplift each other bothers you. Those are my feelings. You don't have to agree.

[CHARismatic110]

@LashayMonaye not at all.

[Song4TheBroken]

Yes, it bothers me because it's sexist. Nobody should have to give special praise or 'uplift' to anybody based on their gender.

[CHARismatic110]

@Song4TheBroken no they absolutely don't. But I feel like they should want to. No not every female can relate to one another but a lot of them do. Like I said, this is my opinion. You don't have to like it, but that doesn't change it. You wanna paint me as sexist? Go right ahead. I've been called worse

[Song4TheBroken]

I'm not painting you as anything, I'm simply stating a fact. Benevolent sexism is still sexism.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Hey @Song4TheBroken, while you are entitled to your opinion, I don't really like you bothering a friend of mine. So you have been xed from this conversation.

[CHARismatic110]

Thanks love. Smh, some people just don't know when to drop stuff.

[Watermelonoma]

people can label themselves what they want. At the end of the day though, im not going to label someone in my head as curvy when i personally think they are just fat. This all kind of reminds me of the woman recently working for the NAACP or w/e (i forget her name) who labelled herself as black when she was clearly white. I mean, sure... you can label yourself what you will... but in my mind (and many others she will always be white. Same sort of thing applies in this case

[RJGraveyTrain]

Yes and that's absolutely fine.

[Mekkalyn]

"I guess I just don’t get the whole “if we show people plus sized individuals who are happy with themselves it will encourage them to be fat.” No, it won’t, not if they have the proper knowledge about health in the first place. These people aren’t telling you to go out and eat a burger, they’re saying: “Hey, I’m bigger and I don’t hate myself.” That’s no more ridiculous than saying if we have transsexual actors our kids are all going to become transsexual. Teach and parent instead of relying on the media to tell people what’s right, perhaps?"

Couldn't say it better myself.
This is how I feel completely.
It's ridiculous to tell someone they don't have a right to feel good about themselves because they aren't what society deems beautiful. EVERYONE deserves to feel good about themselves. Just because you like to eat fatty food doesn't mean you deserve to be hated or made fun of. And it isn't fair to make fun of someone on the opposite spectrum.

Everyone should be happy with themselves

[RJGraveyTrain]

Thank you, so very much

[meatballs21]

Why do you want to apply a misleading label to yourself? That's a big part of it. I'm sure you've seen tales of online dating sites where you select body types, and some people set out to deliberately mislead you. I've had it happen to me: A girl who carefully chose flattering pictures and put 'a few pounds extra' turned out to actually weigh twice what a girl her height should.

Relatedly, 'curvy' was already a term for a certain body type that has been misappropriated and applied seemingly with intent to deceive, either the user themselves or those around them. If they'd come up with a new term specifically for their body type (BBW I guess is seen as pejorative) then there wouldn't be this argument.

[RJGraveyTrain]

If you have eyes, how is it misleading? If you can't take the time to properly look at somebody and get to know their body type then that's on you. Either way, I don't see how being overweight means you can't call yourself "curvy." Rolls are still curves. Curve is just a noun, it isn't a singular body type.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Then again, taking a second look at it - maybe I can see what you mean. I guess I'm biased because I can recognize a flattering angle and maybe other people can't? I still don't see how an angle can so dramatically hide someone's shape but nonetheless I still don't think that means that people shouldn't be allowed to call themselves curvy, because to me curvy comes in more forms than one.

[meatballs21]

You're arguing semantics. 'Curvy' was already established as descriptive for a specific body type, trying to drag it back to the dictionary and reapply to a much broader (no pun or insult intended) range is missing the point.

There is already extensive discussion on the internet regarding flattering angles and some of them are quite cunning and convincing. Likewise, techniques for seeing through them (such as looking for the collarbone).

You can label yourself however you want, but it doesn't make it true. It also doesn't work if the label is so incongruous that people don't understand.

Happy Thanksgiving, by the way!

[RJGraveyTrain]

People are more than entitled to think it isn't true, that isn't my point either. If you're taking curvy and giving it a new meaning that isn't the actual origin of the word then it should be expected that people will use it subjectively and without exclusive rights. It makes no sense to me that people try to tell others that they cannot use an otherwise fictional definition of a word simply because they don't agree. My issue isn't what people feel about it, it's the direct putting each other down over it that I take issue with.

[meatballs21]

They're trying to overextend the accepted meaning to include themselves. Some would argue they're trying to bask in reflected glory. Appropriating someone else's term and trying to claim it for themselves.

You can't apply the dictionary definition to everything - colloquialisms and slang don't work like that.

I completely agree that putting other people down harshly is a problem.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I understand what you mean but I still don't agree; I think that the term should be applied to whoever wants to use it. People can disagree all they want, I have no issue with that, but to go out of their way to insult somebody over it to me is just unnecessarily cruel.

[meatballs21]

I agree with that. People can use whatever labels they like, and other people are free to form their own opinions, one way or the other. Disagree but respect each other's opinion or their right to have that opinion.

[RJGraveyTrain]

That we can agree on 100%.

[bloodmountain1990]

Agreed, plus as I said in my post it kinda puts the other person in a weird position when they're attracted to the other person's pictures and ends up not being attracted to how they really look. It's like if you tell them you're not attracted to them they're gonna think you're shallow. But really the person using misleading pics is shallow because they think using the misleading pictures is the most important thing and end up getting disappointed when they find out the person isn't really attracted to them.

[bloodmountain1990]

If you're up front with what you look like then you'll find out who really is attracted to you if that makes sense.

[bloodmountain1990]

Speaking of BBW and misleading others, I find it funny how a lot of the women do choose big and tall/bbw are usually very short lol.

[Bi_Guy]

Your words are so true.

Not only should we not ascribe to social descriptions of curvy versus fat or whether you can be curvy and thin but we should not be worried about how others want to pigeon hole us into one category or another.

If people could just learn to live and let live we would be in a better world. If we all liked the same things it would certainly be a boring place.

For me, I would chose your friend who is 6'2" and 200 lbs. That is not to say you are not beautiful and sexy it just means I like big women.

Be happy with who you are and what you like is my motto. We are all different and have different likes and dislikes. None of us are wrong and none of us are right. We are just who we are and we like what we like.

[GingerBear]

People can call themselves whatever they like. Calling a fat body curvy doesn't make it curvy, but if it makes you happy, cool.

Main problem I have with this take is that you say people's health is no one else's business. Sorry, when it comes to things like obesity, it is. Obesity is a disease, and like any disease, it's taking it's toll on society. It's costing millions of dollars to treat people for obesity related disease, and to fund bariatric equipment. Not to mention the healthcare workers that are injured while treating them.
Obese people are not healthy. That's the biggest fallacy in this topic. They CAN'T be healthy. Obesity is a symptom of poor diet, and insufficient exercise, and causes a host of problems on its own.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I understand that obesity is a disease, but it isn't up to Joe Blow on the street to tell someone that they're a fat slob to try and fix it either. It's up to the person in question and the important people around them to have that discussion. I don't believe that shame tactics should be the method we use to try and fix the problem either, rather people should promote health rather than trash people who aren't thin, considering we don't know what their health is like. I have a very good friend who's ideal weight for her body is 200 lbs, and another friend with hypothyroidism who will never look thin, but takes very good care of herself. Yet they would still receive this negative hate because their bodies don't LOOK like what people assume is healthy.

If you care about someone then you have the right to discuss their health with them, if you just want to be a fat-shaming asshole, that helps nobody.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Oh by the way when I say "you" I don't literally mean YOU personally, I was using it figuratively. Just so you don't think I'm insulting you, because I'm not. Lol.

[bloodmountain1990]

It's because it's misleading. If you're honest with what you are no matter what body type, height, etc you are then people will like what you have then people will like what you have or they won't. That's all there is to it.

What if I were to say I was a bodybuilder, muscular, athletic or fit on my dating profile and then you meet me and found out I misled you by realizing I'm just skinny? It goes both ways.

If I had a dollar for every time a girl used misleading pictures, said she was average/curvy and found out she was really obese I'd be a millionaire.

[bloodmountain1990]

I won't lie I find some girls with a nice face but a little thickness/chubbiness sexy but there's a fine line between that and being obese. Plus it puts the other person in a weird position when they're attracted to someone's pictures but not attracted at all in real life.

[bloodmountain1990]

by the way this goes for both genders, not just women.

[ras144]

"It's because it's misleading."
Again, how is it misleading to say you have curves? EVERYONE has curves. Unless you're built like the lowercase letter l, you have curves.
At this point, curvy is just a positive connotation you give a body type. What you consider curvy probably isn't what I consider curvy.
And no, I'm not some fat girl with insecurities, I'm just a skinny girl who's tired of guys complaining "How dare you not tell me you're not my ideal weight? I feel used!". Like I said before, unless she's morbidly obese, if you don't like a girl's body type, that's YOUR problem, not hers.

"weird position when they're attracted to someone's pictures"
Then that's cat fishing and it has nothing to do with a female calling herself curvy.

Personally, I find it very shallow and rude for a person to even bring up someone's weight and size, regardless of gender. If not knowing what someone looks like is the problem, then only talk to people who's willing to show their pictures.

[bloodmountain1990]

It's just a matter of preferences. I mean there's guys who are short and have lied saying they're taller which women find as a turnoff. How is that any better? And no I'm not short, quite the opposite.

[bloodmountain1990]

Just to clarify all I'm saying is that nobody should be ashamed or insulted for their body type, height, etc but at the same time they shouldn't make people feel guilty for not being attracted to them when they used misleading pictures in the first place. If you're honest about how you look up front then misleading pictures and false advertising is not an issue.

[Accipiter]

People are free to call themselves whatever they want. But society needs to use descriptive words to describe people. It doesn't matter what people disillusion themselves to be, your pretend PC labels are not evident to the rest of us. Imagine if you witnessed a crime committed by an obese woman, but you told the detectives she was curvy instead. Not only is it a bad description, but you are also being counterproductive to capturing a criminal.

I get that a lot of overweight women are insecure about their body image. That's why there's a more polite label for them known as BBW (big beautiful woman) and there are lots of guys out there who dig that. Why not own the BBW identity rather than try to steal the curvy label from girls who deserve it?

[BellePepper]

YES. YES. YES. It makes me so annoyed! Like we're supposed to be able to call people fat because "that's what they are" but we can't call them curvy even though that's what they actually are? UMMMMMM

I agree that it's another form of elitism. Like heavier people are NOT allowed any positive words for themselves in case they stop feeling like the horrible disgusting slobs they are? Seriously this type of Awful needs to stop.

[TheDevilInside]

Yes!!! People should just stop bullying others with the pretense of "I just want you to be healthy". That's fine if you say that to someone you love. But then again, you wouldn't say mean things to someone you genuinely care about. And chances are, that stranger you've called fat and bullied? You don't fucking give a shit about their health. You are just so fucking happy to have someone to belittle so your sad pathetic self can have something to feel better about.

[MattXRT]

Yes you're right it doesn't matter. Your body, your life, your choice.
People CAN label themselves whatever they want BUT that doesn't mean everyone will have to agree with them.
Choice you see is what differentiates us as humans, everyone has the right to their own opinions and everyone also has the right to disagree with them.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I understand what you mean. I just don't agree with people attacking one another over something so silly like calling yourself curvy.

[RationalMale]

Problem is simple.

Fat people don't like how being fat makes life harder, such as not being able to walk or run up stairs, or increased medical bills, or how being fat makes you sexually unattractive.

Fat people, particularly fat women, then launch hissy fits claiming they are beautiful and the media is what makes men like slim women.

Hence, problem.

And being overweight also makes your risk of cancer, heart disease, and stroke skyrocket... so, it's not trivial.

[Mekkalyn]

lmao, you clearly are talking about morbidly obese people that are hundreds overweight... "fat" or overweight people CAN run/walk up stairs and most don't have increased medical bills, and sexual attraction is subjective so you can't speak for everyone (there are a lot of guys that like bigger women). You can't just physical health by weight alone. There are a lot of variables and your genes play a huge role.

being overweight certainly does increase your chance of a heart disease and stroke, but I have never heard the claim about increasing your risk of cancer... although, pretty much everything you do nowadays increases your risk of cancer, so I wouldn't be exceptionally surprised. However, you can get all of those problems without being heavy, and there are a lot of people that have been heavy their own life and never develop any of those problems.

There's a lot of grey area. You can't speak in such a definitive matter on this subject because it's not true for a huge group.

[CrimsonKing]

Actually we DO have the right to tell people what they are and what we label them. It's called freedom of speech. I think Bush Jr. was a horrible president and looked kinda like a monkey. I can say that. Nobody cares.

So if people want to define curvy a certain way they can, be them the accuser or the defender.

And from my perspective I like fat and curvy girls. I have no ideal.

It's Thanksgiving in Canada?

[CrimsonKing]

Also the other guy made a good point. Defining what is or isn't curvy is important in the fashion world. It determines what sizes fit where. So it's not like it's completely unimportant, because it is in certain settings.

[RJGraveyTrain]

What point does it cross into the boundaries of inappropriateness then? Because we say that we shouldn't allow bullying to occur or harassment (and each of these things can specifically target the physical appearance) yet we allow fat-shaming to occur because we preach freedom of speech. There is freedom of speech and then there is attacking somebody unnecessarily for something that they themselves have the right to do. If you have the right to tell somebody that they aren't curvy and they're fat and disgusting, that person has the equal right to call themselves curvy.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Also yes Thanksgiving is coming up here in Canada.

[CrimsonKing]

There is a fine line between voicing one's opinion and attacking others, but at the same time it's not illegal totally. Is it bad? Is it hurtful? Yes it can be. I think people also attack fat shaming more than they should though as well. Society doesn't even want people to use the word fat anymore.

This is cliche and kinda corny, but it's very true: The first step is admitting you have a problem. If we avoid criticism then how are we to correct things if there is a problem?

Yes people have the right to call themselves what they want and people have the right to disagree.

[CrimsonKing]

Why do y'all celebrate Thanksgiving? I thought that had to do with white settlers "discovering" America.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I'm open to criticism. I think if someone is genuinely worried about somebody's health that they can bring it up. I take issue with people who attack others, and in some cases it can become illegal if crosses into the boundaries of harassment. Is it illegal to make a nasty post about fat people though? No, it's not. I get that and wouldn't suggest that it should be.

My point is and has always been that we need to encourage others to not behave in destructive ways the best that we can. I know it won't stop it completely but I've never been the one to just ignore a problem. I've always preferred taking up for people.

In regards to "attacking fat-shaming", I don't think one can really attack an attack, because that's all fat shaming is. However I do think that people are unrightfully attacked for fat-shaming when they in fact weren't, so I can see where that would be an issue.

[RJGraveyTrain]

The history of Thanksgiving in Canada can be traced back to the 1578 voyage of Martin Frobisher from England in search of the Northwest Passage. His third voyage, to the Frobisher Bay area of Baffin Island in the present Canadian Territory of Nunavut, set out with the intention of starting a small settlement.

^ Canadian Thanksgiving origins.

[CrimsonKing]

Sometimes fat shaming is just constructive criticism that people don't want to hear.

[RJGraveyTrain]

We'll just have to disagree on that one but you're entitled to your opinion.

[CrimsonKing]

Okay.

[allahu_snackbar]

hahaa

s2.quickmeme.com/.../...5a01b94a59298dca50fbeb.jpg

If you're fat and you call yourself curvy it's bullshitting, nobody likes bullshitters.

[RainbowFanGirl]

Thank you for this take, I'm so sick of those takes about "fat vs curvy". How the heck do tell someone what they can and can NOT call themselves?

People can call themselves whatever they want. You can refer to yourself as whatever you want.

[PublicEnemyNumber-1]

No, it does mtter. Labels exist for a reason. If labels didn't exist, we wouldn't know what to call each other. We wouldn't have names. We would have to be very specific when referring to everything, and that's just a burden. Instead of saying "I'm fat." you would say, "I've got a slightly chubby stomach, but my top half isn't necessarily fat."

[Kay211]

Yup. Keep seeing girls posting "YOU'RE NOT CURVY, I AM" like a child that doesn't want to share their toys lol

Seems people really get off on telling other people about their bodies, like they know it better than they do.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I love the way you worded this. Lol.

[burlen]

Without a doubt, one of the best illuminating write ups I have come across on this platform. Very refreshing and insightful. Thank you for cleaning out the mess for us.

[oddwaffle]

People don't generally hate themselves. It's the thought that other people don't like them is the problem. People are entitled to their opinions. However, we are extremely reactive to opinions about ourselves. So much that we believe we know what other are talking about ourselves.

[AdamThomas]

It matters because people are lying about what they are. This idea that you can call yourself whatever you want regardless of whether or not you actually are because feelings is stupid. As for the idea that encouraging people to be okay with being overweight won't make more people feel okay with being overweight, again that's ridiculous. I don't condone bullying of overweight people, but celebrating it is a terrible idea too. Why would an overweight person try to lose weight when everyone tells them that it's great? Why don't we instead of complaining about "body shaming" encourage people to be healthy and do something about it? I've seen plenty of overweight people completely transform themselves.

[bloodmountain1990]

I just think people should just be up front with their appearance regardless of what their weight, height, etc are because if you're up front then the person who agrees to go on a date with you is attracted to you physically and they can't complain about misleading pictures.

[AdamThomas]

@bloodmoungain1990 - exactly. I'm 5'3". I could come up with silly arguments that I'm tall compared to a child or a midget so therefore should have the "right" to call myself tall, and complain about anyone who says otherwise - or I can just be honest and say I'm short and deal with it. At least weight is something that can be changed, I'll always be short lol.

[AdamThomas]

@bloodmountain1990

[bloodmountain1990]

Lol exactly, besides beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What may be attractive to one may not be attractive another. It's true as cliche as that sounds. Plus I've stumbled upon videos on youtube of guys who have weight gain/stuffing fetishes which is weird in my opinion, not because they're attracted to overweight women but it just goes to show that there's people who are into that.

[RJGraveyTrain]

This is the issue: people are ALLOWED to choose to be unhealthy. I don't encourage people to not take care of themselves, but if they genuinely think that life is BETTER lived eating what you want and not stressing over the gym, how is it our jobs to tell them how they should be living their lives? We aren't their doctors, their mothers, or fathers, brothers or sisters, or lovers. Therefore, we DO NOT have the right to try and say how their lives should be lead. If that is what they choose, or what their circumstance is (due to thyroid disease or what have you) it is up to them to decide how to handle it. Body shaming and telling them what they can call themselves does not fix the problem as much as we believe it does. If it did, it would have worked by now.

[AdamThomas]

You want to encourage overweight people to feel good about being overweight - to me that's encouraging them not to look after themselves. They do have the right to be unhealthy if they wish, I also have the right to say that I disagree with encouraging an unhealthy lifestyle, and they have the right to agree with me or ignore me. Twisting definitions to save people's feelings though is ridiculous. As for body shaming not working, it worked pretty well for me. When I was skinny I got called a skinny cunt, when I was fat I got called a fat cunt, now I'm in great shape.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I encourage everyone to have self worth, and with self worth comes a will to do better for yourself. Putting people down creates depression, and what are you going to do when you're depressed? Nothing. If we teach people to value themselves, then they in turn will value their health. Being a piece of shit to someone isn't going to motivate them, it's going to make them think they aren't worthy of being healthy or happy.

[Mekkalyn]

"Twisting definitions to save people's feelings though is ridiculous"
The irony behind that is that you're the one twisting definitions.
No where in webster's dictionary does it describe curvy as what you are saying it is.

[coconutelixir]

Love it... great take, I agree. It was bugging me too, but I'm too lazy to put it into something so well-said as this.

[Jager66]

People don't like it when a fat person uses the term curvy to describe them self because it's deceptive. Not hard to understand.

[ras144]

How is it deceptive? Unless she's shaped like a straight line, ALL women have curves. If you don't like her body type, that's YOUR problem, not hers. In fact, men also have curves.

[Jager66]

Now you're just playing semantics games,
Fat =/= Curvy.
Fat = Fat.

If I don't like fat women that is not a problem for me it is my preference, a very simple one where I choose not to pursue women I am not attracted to for any reason, including being fat. I fail to see how this is a problem for me?

[Mekkalyn]

I fail to see how it's a problem that a "fat" woman uses the term "curvy".
You have eyes. You can use them. If you don't think the term applies to her, don't use it for her. If you don't like the way she looks, don't go after her. You don't have to make a big deal out of it or shame them for it.

There is a grey area for the word "curvy" just based on its definition. Everyone can take their own meaning out of it, I suppose, but based on definition technically everyone is curvy to some extent.