FAT is not attractive (to most)

[Shgvznnkrgbn]

So I've been here for a few days and after I got a few of my questions answered, I did some browsing and I've seen quite a few responses about body image and the idea that people should accept what they look like etc.

Here's my take on this. There is an astronomical difference between being FAT and being HEALTHY. I really, REALLY, am tired of all of this BS in the media/white knightery where people come and tell other people that they need to change their outlook because fat shaming is wrong.

In my opinion, yes fat shaming is a terrible thing to do. It is just another branch of bullying and there really is no place for it anywhere ever.

But here is the harsh reality ladies and gents. If you are FAT (not healthy) but FAT and it's something that can be considered unhealthy, chances are most people will find you unnatractive. Its just the truth no ifs, ands, or buts, about it. Yes, there are exceptions but lets face it. There are millions more unhealthy overweight people than there are exceptions. They're called exceptions for a reason.

For myself, I was a skinny kid, played sports and eventually had an athletic build through highschool. When college came around i put on more than my fair share of freshman 15. My cheeks puffed up and i went from a six pack to a nice gut. I was eating unhealthy foods, and not exercising. I eventually got my ass out of the cheeto bag and got back in the gym. Even when I'm not having success with women, I still feel good about my body.

It's not rocket science girls/fellas. Working out and eating right makes you feel good. If you don't want to take my word for it, try a google search. Eating unhealthy and being lazy can lead to depression.

When the media posts pictures of curvy women (who i do find attractive, I've got a wide range of what i think is attractive) I think that it is definitely a good thing. However, these types of things are misleading to a lot of people. It gives obese people the excuse to think that because these HEALTHY and curvy women can now be on TV and commercials, that they're in the clear as well and that every guy and girl should just accept them for being obese.

Listen here and I'll say it again, curvy and healthy can definitely be sexy. Being obese is not. On the flip side, seeing a pencil thin girl where i can see her rib cage 24/7 is definitely NOT attractive as well.

I honestly find NOTHING wrong with showing attractive, in shape women on TV. Yes, sometimes it can set poor standards for women but there needs to be some middle ground. Its unhealthy to be too skinny or too fat and neither is attractive.

TL;DR: please everyone stop promoting the idea that it's okay to be fat but at the same time please do promote being healthy. Exercise and a good diet is good for EVERYONE not just fat people, skinny people, curvy, or average people. It's good for everyone.

[RainbowFanGirl]

Sure, I get that it's unhealthy. But calling someone unattractive and all sorts of names won't make someone skinny. Throwing it in their face day after day that they are unattractive won't make a person magically weigh a healthy weight. In fact it may make them "unhealthier" than they were already. I was overweight and bullied for it, but people telling me I was ugly and "a landwhale" only made me want to stuff my face with more food. I developed a binge eating disorder.

I lost weight in the most unhealthy way possible. I stopped eating. I was so self conscious about my weight that I didn't eat for a week. I lost about 20 pounds from doing that.

This fat acceptance movement is not about telling people it's okay to be fat. Because it's not. It's obviously unhealthy and I'm sure many people understand that. It's about loving yourself no matter the struggles you face.

Telling someone they can't love themselves, or nobody will find them attractive because they are fat is not okay. That is just mean spiritedness.

Only you can take charge in losing weight. You, and maybe some encouraging words from the people around you may help. Not mean and hateful banter.

I didn't love myself at my weight and I was uncomfortable in my skin, so I am doing something about it in a healthy way. I'm continuing to lose the rest of the weight with diet and exercise. What really irks me is when fat people complain about being fat, but they don't do anything about it. If you are unhappy with your weight, then take charge of it like I'm doing.

Anyway sorry for my rant. I am just sick and tired of being told I can't be pretty because of my current state. I am trying so hard to lose it, and it is working fortunately.

When it comes down to it, encouring people to be healthy and to love yourself should be the message, not bringing down self esteem and hurting people's feelings because of the state they are in.

[FreyaDiermayr]

preach it

[RainbowFanGirl]

:) :)

[NatashaJ]

Too bad people who just don't get it about fat shaming they have no idea how they handling the situation is horrible.

[RainbowFanGirl]

@NatashaJ That's true. They just don't get it.

[NatashaJ]

Exactly! seriously my best friend is overweight for our age she was 200 pounds she losing the weight but I can tell it does bother her she doesn't need people to put her down about her weight just because you think telling someone they need help they too big etc is going to help them isn't. They know they overweight they don't need to hear it.

[RainbowFanGirl]

@NatashaJ Preach. At my heaviest I was 226 and it made me depressed when people would make fun of me for being overweight. They just don't need bullies putting them down.

[NatashaJ]

Exactly.

[Ghosty]

Actually I see WAY more shaming on the fit people in the ads and magazines for "omg you bash your unreal dreambody in my face" than I see fat people being made fun of.

[RainbowFanGirl]

@Ghosty doesn't matter. Nobody should be shamed for their body tbh

[ThisDudeHere]

Prepare for hate from buthurt people, dude. Prepare for hate.

[Anonymous]

You wrote: "For myself, I was a skinny kid, played sports and eventually had an athletic build through highschool. When college came around i put on more than my fair share of freshman 15. My cheeks puffed up and i went from a six pack to a nice gut. I was eating unhealthy foods, and not exercising. I eventually got my ass out of the cheeto bag and got back in the gym. Even when I'm not having success with women, I still feel good about my body."

Big difference between skinny kids and overweight kids is the amount of fat cells. Fat cells you develop in child hood. So anyone who was overweight as a child, has more fat cells which results in gaining weight far more easily and having a harder time losing weight and maintaining that weight. Parents who lack this knowledge and overfeed their child are ruining their child's future (when it comes to weight and health)

I'm 5'7 and weigh 129.8 pounds. I was an overweight child and losing weight and maintaining a healthy weight is a life long struggle. My sister who was a skinny child has no issues dropping weight and can take in a lot more calories than I without gaining much weight. And she's only 5'2!

A lot of people forget about this little but very important fact.

[aniemist]

The thing that is bad about fat shaming is that some people think it will actually help people realize they need to lose weight, but I want to tell you that it can have the opposite effect. Often people who are overweight or obese eat more to deal with stress or when they are feeling bad about themselves, and for a short time it helps but they need to keep eating to keep the feeling.

Long story short I agree with you that we shouldn't say that being fat and unhealthy is ok, but we also must realize what a sensitive issue this is for some people, and must be handled appropriately. If not the problem for many of these people will only get worse. I can tell you I have been a large man most of my life, its not as easy for some people to break out of bad habits as it is for others, those who have trouble need a positive influence, a bit of help to establish good habits while stopping the bad.

[lePoivre]

You're abusing your body if you're underweight and neglecting your body if you're overweight. They are both things you should avoid. I would say there's no better of two evils, but an obese person will live longer than an anorexic person almost every time, so I guess there is a slightly better evil. But anyway, I love your take =)

[whatIsCreative]

yo im 240 lbs. i dont understand why people call it fat shaming. its true that to live longer you should be a specific weight and live a healthier life. skinny shaming and fat shaming are tumblr's retarded children and i find it repugnant that people will talk shit to skinny people because, "they dont know the stuggle of being overweigt."

i just wish that people would try to better themselves rather than bring people down to their level. life isn't fair, fucking deal with it.

[AleDeEurope]

Fat shaming is wrong, but it's also wrong to force others to like how you look, or to shame them because they don't find you attractive.
Trying to stop fat shaming we're actually just saying that being fat is OK, when it isn't. We gotta stop fat shaming but also realize that you shouldn't be fat cause it's not healthy.

[JohnBhoy94]

Solution: get rid of Political Correctness.

[Shgvznnkrgbn]

Exactly. In no way am I condoning fat shaming but since when is it a bad thing to promote bettering your health? The way that body image is being portrayed today is extremely misleading. There is no place for fat shaming but there is nothing wrong with promoting healthy eating and exercise.

[Anonymous]

I agree with some of this, but I don't agree about the part that providing people with curvy role models is giving anybody an excuse. I feel like we need people who are the curvacious build in the media because plain and simple: there are people that cannot get skinny. My cousin as a personal example was told by doctors and dietitians that due to her health issues and her stature, her healthiest weight would be 200 lbs. Having purely skinny role models hasn't proved to be at all helpful, coming from someone who suffered from bulimia to look like those women. I personally feel that it isn't anybody else's choice to say what is or isn't right for SOMEONE ELSE'S HEALTH. If they complain about it, then let them deal with it and stay out of it. It isn't anybody's business what that person is doing unless they are a close friend, family member, or spouse. People need to stop acting like they need to tell people how to look and behave.

[Opinion Owner]

My health issues, she has genetic hypothyroidism.

[Opinion Owner]

By* Filler.

[Shgvznnkrgbn]

That's fair. I think maybe the way I wrote might have given off the wrong idea. I don't find anything wrong with curvacious models at all. In fact, I'm all for it. Curvy women are attractive too and that should be put out there as an acceptable weight for women. You are absolutely right when you say that having solely skinny models hasn't done anyone any good.

Anyways, my issue with all of this is that the way this whole body image idea is being put out there is that it is OK to be overweight and unhealthy. I don't mind if the message is, Be healthy, but many people out there take that message and spin it in a way to say that being overweight and unhealthy is okay and it most certainly isn't. If we are going to promote people being comfortable in their own skins, we should also promote bettering ourselves. Yes I agree with you though on the other part where you talked about someone else's health. If they choose to live that way, that's their perogative. But what I can't stand for is

[Shgvznnkrgbn]

people interpreting being overweight and unhealthy as being the same as curvacious. They just aren't synonymous. You can be healthy and curvacious but when your weight and lifestyle affects your health, they are two different things. But like you said, to each their own.

Thanks for the insightful comment!

[Opinion Owner]

I can see your point, but the thing is, is that it's the people who are unhealthy spinning it in their own way. People are going to take whatever they can to spin it to their own self esteem. If you promoted health, there would be people who would call it fat shaming, while others wouldn't. That's why I say we have to allow people to make their own choices and stop focusing so much on trying to change them: if someone wants to be fat, unhealthy, but at least they are HAPPY... then it's not up to us to say: that's not healthy, you should change. People have to make the choice on their own.

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you also for not tearing my comment apart and for being open minded. It was refreshing.

[Shgvznnkrgbn]

Haha of course. I only had an issue with one comment so far and it was because it was totally destructive. When people say things that are constructive, even if it's not my own p. o. v. I'm more than open to it. The last thing I'd like to say is that I wish that when we say things like, its okay to be a curvy woman and to be comfortable in your body, we should also say things like, BUT if you live unhealthily or are obese there are health risks. People a lot of times fail to see things in the long term but can be happy where they are in the present. For example, I can eat cheetos all day long every day but the chances of me seeing my kid grow up and to have grandkids go down exponentially. I just think that when we give out information we should give them the whole story, not just the part that feels good.

[Opinion Owner]

Well in my opinion in regards to the former of your response is this: when we show skinny models, like Victoria's Secret... do we immediately attach anti bulimia and anorexia tags in association with them? No. Why? Because that'd be straight up offensive. Whether people realize it or not, you are immediately attaching a negative connotation with something that is meant to be positive, and associating certain body types with health issues that may not even be present. I feel that if we are going to promote health, it shouldn't be in the media, it should come from a better school curriculum that teaches not only health, but self esteem, self awareness in depth so people are able to deduce for themselves what is or isn't healthy.

[Derpyy]

"if someone wants to be fat, unhealthy, but at least they are HAPPY... then it's not up to us to say: that's not healthy, you should change."

This is the only part I disagree with. It is anybody's right to say whatever they want honestly. People really need to work on developing thick skin.

I understand that happiness should be a top priority. But when you have a stroke or heart attack at the age of 25 then I'm pretty sure you aren't going to be happy. If you want to be "happy" and always have health issues preventing you from living a decent life then fine. However, if I care about you, like I honestly give a serious fuck about you, I WILL tell you that it is unhealthy. I won't stop there: I will actually help you. I will go jogging with you. I will eat better with you. I will not just sit back and wag my finger at you.

I'm sorry, but Iost too many people becaue they were happy with being unhealthy. If you are important to me, I will do my damned best to get you happy AND healthy.

[Derpyy]

by the way, this isn't coming from some walking stick. I used to be obese, and now I am just barely overweight. A number of aches and pains have dissolved since losing weight.

That is all. (Prepares for the storm I might have somehow incited.)

[ShaeNielson]

I strongly agree, healthy is sexy! But the unhealthy category does not only consist of fat people, I know you briefly mentioned skinny people too, but being malnourished, very thin, skinny fat or just a slob, is really unattractive like being fat.
Im too gonna include; bigger people can be healthy! Weight loss takes time, and you can have worked up a pretty decent shape, even though you haven't lost all the pounds yet. You don't have to be society's version of skinny, before you're healthy. It is possible to be healthy, and have a few extra pounds. It's better to just like a healthy lifestyle, instead of going on diet after diet, or starting 30 minute workout routines, you know you're only gonna do 4 times and then never again.

[Anonymous]

I am skinny and because of the emotional bullshit and endless things men have said, I feel as if being fat, yes fat would be better!!! I cannot grow curves i do not possess ability, I am powerless, if i could do anything in my power I would do it! eating doesn't grow me breasts or an ass, it doesn't go to the right place!

If i was fat, i could at least lose weight and be curvy, but im stuck in my shameful body trapped with no solution. Fat girls always have breasts, huge ones, so i would imagine its better.

[Shgvznnkrgbn]

Hi,

This is the other end of the spectrum of things but I would like to address it. Being comfortable in one's body is something totally different. All those things those guys have said aren't worth your time any ways. I'm an Asian guy and I like white girls. Lets face it, things don't come as easily for me as white males but I've grown to be comfortable with who I am and what I look like. Just like you, I don't have any power to change my ethnicity or skin color but I work with what I have and so should you! Don't be ashamed of your body. Hit the gym! And I don't say that to change what you look like! When you workout the endorphins kick in and you can feel a lot better about your image, I know it has helped me a lot.

Cheers to you though, I'm sure you look a hundred times better than whatever those guys would say :)

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for saying all that :)

[Skadouchebag]

Hey, just as there's the occasional person genuinely attracted to fat people, there's also the occasional person genuinely attracted to bodies like yours.

[Poppykate]

One thing I have noticed over the last decade is society embracing the 'big is beautiful' slogan. Wouldn't it be better if we embraced 'healthy is beautiful' or 'natural is beautiful' instead? I just feel like we are trying to make obesity ( in our mind set) normal, healthy, a new way of life. When the sad fact is that most obese people won't live beyond the age of 50- 60. I am completely against fat shaming!, but should we be embracing the obese image as good?

[Skadouchebag]

The sad truth is, in my country obesity IS becoming the norm.

[Poppykate]

That is one thing that I have noticed too. Being a healthy weight is becoming quite rare! With 15% underweight, 60% overweight or obese, those in the healthy category are only 25%.

[tl656]

Being big has always been thought of as good. It's actually health to be fat. Not to be obsessed. But a few extra pounds helps your body as long as you still work out and stuff.

[Poppykate]

I agree with you! But there is a big difference between a few extra kgs (from overeating over the Holidays or extra baby weight), to obese (we need fireman to cut you out of your house). Don't you think?

[RationalMale]

People's lifestyle is either disciplined enough to stay fit, or they get fat.

And it does take work. Why do you think people are so vehement about not having to exercise? It's practically a part time job for the rest of your life.

Or you have to be disciplined enough to not stuff your face. Coworker I worked with at my last job... had a big potbelly. I didn't.

Why? Because aside from me running two miles 3 days a week, pershift, I ate a banana, or a sandwich, for an eight hour shift. He had two mountain dew's, two sandwiches, and two baggies of chips.

[MissMc3]

Why did people downvote this?

[RationalMale]

@MissMc3

We live in an age of feelings over reason.

[MissMc3]

It's true.

By the way, I work at a donut shop (I'm sixteen, shut up lol) and I've noticed the overweight workers will eat food from the store (chilli, donuts, steak & cheese sandwiches) on their breaks whereas I and the other healthy looking workers will bring food from home or just not eat at all. I don't understand why overweight people expect to be respected for pigging out.

[RationalMale]

That's the point, @MissMc3

They want to claim the same respect that comes from discipline and eating smart... but they want to be gluttons at the same time.

[RationalMale]

And relax, I work a crappy job and I'm 23. Today at work I literally got threatened with a baseball bat, and had to shake a hostile tail, for crap pay. Security work...

[MissMc3]

It's kind of bullshit. And I find it offensive as a healthy person. They want praise for being "curvy", how come I don't get praise for being healthy?

Anyway, I agree with you, so you have one person on your side lol

[RationalMale]

@MissMc3

In the Odyssey, Odysseus returned home, and in a shooting competition, none of the suitors could string his bow. In disguise, he easily strung it, enraging them.

People are always angered by seeing those better than them.

[MissMc3]

Haha true true, love the example.

[JensonStatement]

Listen, nobody should be ashamed for his or her body, but you also should know what is unhealthy or not. 90kg/200lb is no problem to me or anyone but if it is 130kg or up. The person should not be bullied. Never has someone the reason to be bullied. But he or she should know that eating a lot is not the problem.

Yes and yes there are people who can eat 3 bucket fries and stay skinny and on the other side eating a piece of chocolate and gain 2kg.

But you're able to know what is healthy or not. Do people not watch my 600lb live or something. Being fat can influence your condition and daily live.

Curvy is also something which got misintepretated. Curvy can be everyone but it not stands for fatrolles. And a little fat is always there.

DON'T GET ME WRONG BUT CURVY AND 200lbs IS SOMETHING DIFFERENT THAN CURVY OBESE.

[Trayus]

It's a harsh reality that most can't deal with. Yes, numerically speaking, many less people will find you attractive if you're fat. I say this as a guy who has lost close to 100 lbs. What gets me is the whole delusion factor, that especially in the U. S. if we dare to tell a person were not attracted to them because they're fat, we are then called shallow. That is bullcrap. I know for me I can't stand those shows on T. V. mostly aimed at women, to teach than that they're 'large and in charge' (fkn Tyra Banks). Ugh, it's delusional... address your problem of weight people, I did. by the way clinical depression is linked to being fat, even disregarding other people, you WILL feel much better about yourself if you use some discipline and lose weight. Don't skirt about the issue and say 'it's just X number of pounds...', 'why are guys so shallow?'. Tackle your problem head on.

[Skadouchebag]

many men and women actually PREFER fatties. They're called chubby-chasers. While pretty rare today, they were actually the norm in ancient times, since being pudgy meant you were wealthy enough to eat regularly.

[Sexualchrist]

That wasn't ever "the norm" dude. That'san inaccurate historical stereotype caused by the documentation of many rich people being overweight in those times.

[Skadouchebag]

@Sexualchrist Really? Where'd you read that?

[Sexualchrist]

You just have to look through all of history.
In fact, gluttony was against the law.

[Skadouchebag]

@Sexualchrist Oh. So chubby-chasers *are* fetishists

[Anonymous]

As long as the face is attractive, a person is good-looking. I think if a person has an attractive face, they can get away with being overweight. A friend of mine is gorgeous, but overweight. She's never had issues getting men. It's her face that draws them in. That's the way it should be.

Unattractive is when your face is ugly. Not when you are fat.

[Anonymous]

One thing I don't get is when girls gain weight on purpose. It's kinda weird but I've seen youtube videos of women going from skinny/average to fat/obese and it feeds people with fat fetishes. I understand some guys have a thing for fat women but that's still an unhealthy thing to promote.

Sometimes I've gone on dates with women on dating sites who use misleading pictures and are a lot fatter in person and they pressure people to accept that they're fat, not that I'm fat shaming, and some people say dude stay with her the weight can be lost. While that is true, most of the time from my experience, the girl does nothing to lose weight and you can't make them if they don't want to.

[SilenRose]

Are you sure they didn't use trick photography? Anyway some men do the same thing.

[Skadouchebag]

One, I'm pretty sure there are women attracted to fat men too.

Two, I'm not sure being attracted to fatties ("Chubby-chasers" as they're called) can be considered a fetish, since such was actually the norm in ancient times. Back then being pudgy meant you were wealthy enough to eat regularly.

[Opinion Owner]

Trick photography?

And I know there's chubby chasers but there is a fetish of girls having their stomachs expand and stuffing themselves till they get fat. I don't see the appeal in that but to each their own.

[JohnBhoy94]

I think that most of the time it's a person's choice to be fat.

Unlike most people I'm incredibly lucky: both my parents have extremely fast metabolisms and I've inherited it. I could go through a whole 3 months of junk food and still way the same.

I have never been attracted to a fat woman, and I most definitely will never be... if you don't like it, you can go fuck yourself :)

[Navier-Stokes]

No one cares who you find or find not attractive. Really... No one fucking cares...

[Skadouchebag]

You have no idea what you're talking about. Nobody EVER chooses to be fat except isolated cases. 95% percent of the time, it's either a result of genetics (yes, it really CAN be genetic. It's been scientifically documented and everything) or a result of poor self-control.

[JohnBhoy94]

Fat genes are to blame for a 1/5th of obesity, sure... that's why I said most of the time it's the persons lack of restraint that causes them to be fat. www.telegraph.co.uk/.../...a-fifth-of-obesity.html

[JohnBhoy94]

Don't come here claiming I don't know what I'm talking about without any sources to your claims... idiot.

[MissMc3]

It's his opinion, why the FUCK do you care? @Navier-Stokes

[yourwaifu]

i totally agree with you, unhealthy is definitely not attractive at all and a bad lifestyle, i hate it when people say it's okay to be fat, what is okay about that? it's unhealthy, makes insecurities and affects your self confidence and mentality in every way possible

[Anonymous]

Are you talking about fat or obsessed? I'd say I am fat, but I work out and eat right. The doctor says I am extremely healthy. Only been sick once in my life and I am over weight. It's not a lot. But I know from experience being fat isn't unhealthy. Being obsessed is very unhealthy. But having extra weight doesn't matter. Also I have never had people find me unattractive because of my weight, that's probably because I am tall though. Girls like big tall men 😇😉

[Takada]

Being overweight increases your risk of all kinds of diseases. So it really is unhealthy. Just because you haven't gotten anything does not mean it's not putting you at risk.

[Bubblesi]

Actually there are people who have naturally higher bodyfat. If it's subdermal. fat it is notvery dangerous. What you mention is statistics but you cannot apply that to invididuals. Having sligtgly higher bodyfat isn't alone a reason to expect health problems.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah. The doctors I've talked to have all said it depends on the person. Fat isn't what makes you sick. Eating unhealthy will make you more likely to be sick. But there's fat people who eat healthy and work out daily, like me.

[KidanisCortes]

Yeah humiliating fat people is not cool no doubt but its also wrong to tell them"you are beautifull the way you are" we know fat isn't attractive, the fat person knows it and hell, even the person giving the shitty advice knows this.
Fit is sexy and we can ALL be fit with enough hard work

[KLTheErudite7229]

I'm just going to say that it is up to each one to be "fat" or "fit". If they are happy with it, I don't have a problem. It is something personal and I'd rather stay out of it. No one should be treated better or worse just for being "fat" or "fit".