Fend off a Stalker

[LittleSally]

I'm sure most of us had a stalker ad least once in our lives - if you think you haven't you were probably unaware of it. xD Creepy thought, right?

If you were never stalked then good for you - hopefully it never happens.

From recent literature I read it turns out 1 in 4 women is being stalked every day while 1 in 19 men is being stalked every day...

Why some people become Stalkers?

As you can imagine it's never been scientifically proven, but it's fair to say that most stalkers exibited violent or troubling behavior in their lives earlier on.

Stalkers often work alone!
Stalkers most often stalk someone they know!

Know your type of stalker:

1. The passive stalker: these people tend to be passive and observant. They’ll stick to the shadows without interacting with you


2. The delusional stalker: once had some sort of relationship with you that has now ended. They won’t leave you alone - they tend to believe that the ends justify the means.


3. The vengeful stalker: wants to hurt you. They want to exact revenge upon you for something they think you did to them.


4. The predator: you can probably imagine what they want - the most dangerous type of stalker - the kind that revels in other people's pain. They will surely have all kinds of plans for you [not excluding the worst case scenario].

FEND Stalkers off:

• Control your online presence.


• Sweep your home. (for things that might be amiss or things that might not be yours - new things you didn't buy - or maybe strange people sitting in your closet)


• Take precautions everywhere. (self defence - know it, live it (being in shape helps) --- at home, at the park, at the gym, in the parking lot...)


• Take legal action. (definitely do this if you're feeling like it is a wise move)

What to do when you're being followed?

• Make sure you're being followed (turn around a corner, speed up, see if they match you)


• Go towards noise and lights (there will surely be people there)


• If you find yourself in a situation where you're basically all alone in a dark alley, at least call someone and keep them on the other line for moral support


• Be alert for a potential taxi on the road


• Always be prepared (keys between your knuckles, pepper spray, tazer - whatever you feel you need to defend yourself)


• Ring on someone's door bell


• Hail any car passing by if necessary


• Hide (if there is an opportunity for it - hide > it's risky and it all depends on the mindset of the person who's following you - if they're going to figure out what happened or not - but it could be what saves your life)


• IF WORST COMES TO WORST: YELL, RUN, BE PREPARED TO HURT THE STALKER

P.S.

Stalkers love to see the fear in your eyes - compose yourself and do your best to remain cool, calm and collected - this way the fear will diminish and your ability to make smart choices increases.

[Transigence]

First, pull some CIA shit and lose your stalker (or rather, be lost by your stalker), then start stalking your stalker. When you finally have the courage, enter their house when they're sleeping and go through all their personal effects. Don't go for money and valuables, just sift through all the personal sentimental things and leave them out. Then make your way into the bedroom and stand there watching them sleep until they wake up. Then ask them out for coffee.

Well, not really. But it's an interesting thought experiment.

[LittleSally]

I think they'd quite like that, though... So... counter-intuitive. xD

[Transigence]

Maybe :) Maybe not! The idea is to out-crazy the cray :)

[GeminiDiamond]

Love your take Tansigence! Or strong arm them with a mask on and a high powered rifle pointed at them when they wake up to really bring fear to the cray cray

[SilenRose]

My old friend is currently being stalked. Some of us think it's her ex-husband (or his new girlfriend that he cheated on her with) messing with her on social media. The person created a Facebook page and used her own profile pic as their profile pic and messaged her flirtatious messages. She reported it to Facebook and Facebook won't delete the account. Unbelievable.

[LittleSally]

Kind of believable... Never trust social media sites...

[SilenRose]

I just checked on her a while ago. Apparently since more then one person sent in a report now the account has been taken deleted. It's sad that you need your friends to back you up for administration to believe you.

[geri3ttc]

Honestly the best way to deal with them is to ignore them entirely and if need be shift your life around so you're actively avoiding them. Most stalkers are VERY likely to have a personality disorder (either borderline or narcissistic - hence the association with the term "bunny boiler" to those two disorders among their "victims").

Giving them a reaction of any sort, is fueling the fire. Become boring, and irrelevant. I speak from personal experience after having to deal with a girl that would hang out where we met for the entire day without using any of the facilities there, happened to just be transferred via her school for her study abroad program to the city she knew I was moving to 2 months before she was supposed to move half way across the world, etc.

I ignored her and made sure all her friends thought my life was so boring and dry, it was classified as a drought on creativity and fun. Only bumped into each other once after that (when she brought her boyfriend who looked creepily similar to me around the place we met again... for a week straight, all day long every day) and again I ignored her and now she's gone for good.

[LittleSally]

I'm talking more about dangerous stalkers here... Although I listed most types.
Ignoring a potential killer or a rapist doesn't seem like a wise decision. o. O

[ObscuredBeyond]

The inverse of this is the con artist that gets you interested in talking to her, leaves you stood up, and then uses the time going back on her promise to meet with you to convince everyone that you're a predatory stalker. Suddenly, angry vigilantes are everywhere seeking vengeance for a crime that never happened, and you're living in fear of an entire army of the misguided while she's off doing whatever.

I have a difficult time now opening up to any woman I start liking, for fear she'll be another lying snake-in-the-grass ready to sic an army of her suckers on me.

When everyone thinks you're the monster, and doesn't care to fact-check to see if anything is even happening or did before passing judgment, they begin to think showing you any sort of abuse is now justified. And that leads to a lifetime of pain and mistrust.

[LittleSally]

Ehy would someone even do that? The motivation is unthinkable... Some people are just disturbed. 👾

[LittleSally]

*Why

[ObscuredBeyond]

The culprits in my case:
- A single mom hairstylist angry at the world because her fiance was killed in a car crash, angry that I couldn't help her with her chemistry assignment.

- A gal at college who discovered she looked like a cartoon character I made, even though I made the cartoon character before I knew the real gal even existed.

- Another college gal who, turns out, was just using me to boost her avatar in Avengers Alliance. And once I outlived my usefulness, she tried to turn my own mom against me.

- My one abusive ex tried to convince her friend in California that I was a rapist. Nobody bought it.

- A coworker recently tried to turn the whole back room against me, after pretending to be a friend for months. She won't speak to me, and has a smug smirk when passing me by.

- A former coworker tried to turn the union at the store against me, just for waving hello.

I think it's the schools in my area. 65% of all their grads are FUBAR.

[ObscuredBeyond]

In the case of the hairstylist, before I knew what she was really like, I told her I was writing a comic book. I asked of she wanted a character in the background to make a cameo in one scene in chapter 19 that physically resembled her, as a tribute. My sociology instructor made a cameo in that same comic, in chapter 9. Two other gals from my old residence hall make cameos in chapter 19.

She eventually rewrote a letter I wrote, made it very overtly sexual, then forged my signature on the new letter and took it to the police. I was under DCL scrutiny, so guilty until proven innocent.

After her betrayal, I made a character with a similar name, face never shown, into a suicide bomber in chapter 22 of my comic. I depict her blowing herself and her son to bits in a car bomb trying to take out the main character's house.

It was the only way to flip the bird back at the real-life gal without getting arrested. That, and writing two song parodies comparing her to Dahmer.

[LittleSally]

Hmmmm... seems a bit odd all of these women did this to you. Why to you? And why so many?

[ObscuredBeyond]

The hairstylist was just f*d in the head. The other college gal was dating a demented, possessive Arab man who saw little me the cartoonist as "competition," just for owning a cartoon character that coincidentally looked like his girlfriend. He probably put her up to it.

The MAA fangirl, not that I can look at her apart from the good times, thinking back to what she said often to me, the girl was constantly poisoning and destroying relationships. Including in her own family. A selfish homewrecker who will say anything to get what she wants. There was another guy that loved her besides me, and she demonized him for his desperate measures to get her attention. Over time, my other friends all began to hate her with a passion. I was blind to the fact she was using me, until it was too late.

The abusive ex is a demented, lying pervert who will manipulate anyone or anything. She knew how to push my buttons. Produce girl had a criminal record. Cart pusher is a man-eating cry-bully.

[ObscuredBeyond]

*now that I can look... blasted typos!

[ObscuredBeyond]

The one gal that freaked out about the cartoon... I've got a picture of the cartoon and a picture of her side-by-side, so you can see what all the fuss was about:

i79.photobucket.com/.../...Ybarra2_zpssiherp8n.jpg

This is what happens when you just want to tell a story, and then reality goes out of its way to find a reason to be offended.

[xXiTacoXx]

I don't know why I'm reading this. My ass is too fugly, and uninteresting to even have a stalker. Well, now I know there's some benefits that come from looking like a potato. xD

[LittleSally]

Hahaha No way... A stalker stalks their victims for so many reasons. Looks might not even be a motive.

[Roostah]

How would you react to this?

cockyandrude.files.wordpress.com/.../stalkers3.jpg

[xXiTacoXx]

I'd know he was lying, and laugh it off.

[Jxpxtxr]

Oh god this is so important!
I already get the creeps when I think about the time back in boarding school in Cambridge when some random guy from Twitter stalked me! 😖

[LittleSally]

O. o damn... Ad least it's over now. 🎈

[Jxpxtxr]

Yes!

[zagor]

Ah, there she is! Finally!

[Jxpxtxr]

@zagor not funny 😜

[jaydogs1990]

Come on now 1in 4 women are being stalked everyday? That doesn't sound like a legit figure. Does that mean that nearly 1 in 4 men are stalkers or do these stalkers cheat on their victims and stalk othe victims on the side.

[LittleSally]

Haha good question. xD

[jaydogs1990]

Lol is there such a thing as a monogamous stalker?

[LittleSally]

I believe there is - the obsessive kind. o. O
But I wouldn't know for sure, though.

[jaydogs1990]

Would you feel bad if you found out your stalker was cheating on you with another woman?

[LittleSally]

No idea... I'd probably feel relieved he doesn't spend all of his time walking behind me. o. O

[Roostah]

How to deal with stalkers:
41.media.tumblr.com/.../...zwYrzx1qjxk1to1_500.jpg

[AnOrdinaryGirl45]

Hey nice take. I don't go to the gym but just run outside and one time a car slowed down next to me while I was runing and the window rolled down. I took off sprinting towards a neighbor house. While I was knocking, I heard the car speed off.

[Scrambledagain]

Everyone gets stalked... by the tax man. Can't escape that bastard. But I've never been stalked.

[Prof_Don]

... hired by Uncle Sam, the biggest kingpin of them all!

[ImaginativeDreamer]

Nice Mytake, that girl with a knife looks really scary...

[candyaurora]

Oh yeah I have had a delusional stalker stalk me not so long ago! I am glad that now he has moved to a different city (due to his job).

[93stepsawayfromhome]

"What to do when you're being followed?"
1) Consider that maybe the person following you is just going to the same place as you and doesn't want to scare you away at all

[LittleSally]

Obviously you haven't read it... Hahaha

[93stepsawayfromhome]

I have read the take, but I've also read enough reddit stories about men who unintentionally followed a woman around and scared her. Not saying it happens as much as actual stalking but it also happens, so you should consider first if this is actually a stalker.

[LittleSally]

You haven't read it because that's my first point on here... - under what to do when you're being followed...

[93stepsawayfromhome]

I did read it and that's why I said "going to the same place as you". When you turn a corner, maybe the person coincidentally has to go this way.