How to spot a sexual predator: 8 signs you need to watch out for

[Subarugirl]

Sexual crime and violence is on the rise and it is important to stay safe and stay vigilant. Sexual predators come in all shapes and sizes, you are never able to tell what they look like regardless of race, class, social status or wealth. Statistics show that most victims of sex crimes knew their attacker. According to the DOJ, every 68 seconds another American is sexually assaulted. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics the majority of sexual assaults occur at or near the victim's home.

48% were sleeping, or performing another activity at home
29% were traveling to and from work or school, or traveling to shop or run errands
12% were working
7% were attending school
5% were doing an unknown or other activity

While nearly every on affected by sexual assault in one way or another, there are demographics that are particularly high risk. Females ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault. 21% of TGQN (transgender, genderqueer, nonconforming) college students have been sexually assaulted, compared to 18% of non-TGQN females, and 4% of non-TGQN males.

So here are 8 signs to keep an eye out for.

1. They are very attentive in early stages of the relationship

While being attentive in a relationship doesn't automatically mean that they are a predator. Love bombing is a form of manipulation and grooming that abusers may use as way to try and create situation where the victim is dependent on them.

2. They use manipulative language

Gas lighting as another very common manipulation tactic that is used to manipulate and groom the victim causing them to doubt there experiences, memory or even their reality, often destroying their self esteem and confidence in the processes furthering the dependence on the abuser. Typically gaslighting is introduced slowly and subtly over an extended period of time and can be difficult to even realize in the earliest stages.

3. They will normalize abuse

When a person is put into an abusive environment, the human brain is designed to normalize and adjust to that environment. Once the victim as normalized how they are being treated the cycle of abuse has begun. The pattern starts with emotional and psychological abuse before progressing onto the physical abuse.

4. They will play the victim

Once the abuser has begun the cycle of abuse they will find ways to blame the victim absolving their selves of any responsibility. That could look like blaming the victim because of how they dress, how they look, or something that they did.

5. They will ridicule the victim

A sexual predator will have no consideration for the thoughts or feelings of their victim unless they can be used in a way the benefits them. They will continuously push boundaries by making sexual comments and ridiculing their victim as a way to undermine their confidence and self worth.

6. They will push sexual boundaries

Sexual predators have no respect for healthy boundaries and will coerce or manipulate their victim to carry out tasks that they are not comfortable with or want to do. This could look like manipulating or threatening their victims to engage in risky sexual behavior or sexual acts that they do not want to do.

7.Sexual predators will disempower their victims

Sexual preditors will try to create an illusion of safety and security by ensuring their victims that thier actions are okay or justifiable. By normalizing the victims feeling of distress in invalidates the victims experience and feelings. Once the gaslighting and cycle of abuse has begun sexual predators will isolate their victims from their friends, family and other support systems making it easier for them to continue the abuse.

8. They will use their past relationships to coheres their victim

Sexual predators will often use examples of past sexual partners as a way to coerce their victim into into doing something that they do not want to by guilt tripping the victim. By telling their victim they are not good enough or do not measure up further harms the victims self worth and esteeme making it easier for further abuse.

Stay safe out there everyone

[Screenwriter]

Though you have very solid information in general, sexual crime statistics have NOT changed in more than 50 years. There are no more rapes or sexual violence than there have ever been. There are simply more PEOPLE, so reported incidences are higher.

Here is the problem with THAT fact. Sexual crime hasn't DECREASED!!! This is shocking in and of itself. So vigilance IS important. And women need to REPORT even an attempt at a sexual assault. Rapists and attempted rapists get away with their crimes because WOMEN DO NOT REPORT THEM. The same is true for the minority of men who are sexually assaulted.

There is still the issue of SHAME victims feel. This needs to be reinforced: Women are not raped because of how they dress, what they say or do, or where they were when they were assaulted or raped.

There is NO NEED FOR SHAME. You are NOT AT FAULT. RAPISTS ARE THE ONLY CAUSE OF RAPES! These men, and the few women who do so, are socio- and psychopaths who wish to inflict pain and control over victims using FORCED, HUMILIATING SEX.

Rapists rarely rape strangers. Most rapes occur between people who are acquainted. Adult-child rapes nearly always occur between relatives or people familiar with the victim on some level. Stranger rape occurs in only about 5% of cases.

Protect yourself by letting people know where you are and who you're with if you're on a first date and when you should arrive home. Let the person you're with KNOW YOU'VE TOLD SOMEONE WHO YOU ARE WITH AND WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTED HOME.

Never let anyone you haven't known for months pick you up at your home. Meet someplace and always date in public. Do not consume alcohol with someone you do not know well. Go out with friends and your new person you're getting to know. Get a reading from friends about their impression of said person.

If someone seems "too good to be true," this is a red flag. Time wounds MOST heels. Jerks can't keep up a front forever and cracks will appear. Do not be paranoid. But cautious. Meet this person's friends and family: another barometer of who they are.

If anything is seriously off, move on. This isn't all about sexual assault and rape. It's about common sense. There are MANY reasons to avoid flawed men. Sexual assault tops the list. But there's emotional and verbal abuse below that. And simply being the WRONG FIT: personalities that don't mesh; lifestyle expectations, background, religion, culture, education differences.

This world is full of more decent, normal folk than twisted ones. But all decent folk don't get along with all the other decent folk. Take your time and get to know people. One red flag isn't a dealbreaker. But when two or more are flying, it's time to p ull up stakes. Good luck!!

[Aerissa_Jade]

Good mytake, and lots of rape sympathizers who say if women were easier they wouldn't have to, or prostitution should be legalized, even if it means women are trafficked.

I get tired of people thinking therapy makes victims all whole and better, ain't done shit for me... tens of thousands of dollars and it often feels like I'd have been better off not doing it, and doing a little retribution therapy on my attacker.

[captain_voidwalker]

Easiest way to stop a secual predator is with a 38 slug through his brain pan. Ladies if you want to feel safe get yourself a gun a 9 millimeter or a 38 special are great for keeping on your hip which and are easy to handle. Thia makes them great at deterring sexual predators since they are usually cowards and aren't going to mess with a girl packing heat.

[Subarugirl]

Women have literally been arrested and sentenced to prison for killing their sexual abusers…. It’s not that simple

[captain_voidwalker]

Thsts because they live in an area with shitty self defense laws, thats why I'm very pro 2A. Self defense in the cornerstone of a free society

[Subarugirl]

www.prisonlegalnews.org/.../

[Subarugirl]

Also it’s not just women, 1 in 33 men are sexually assaulted

[captain_voidwalker]

And my point stands for men also, men are far more likely to be the victim of a violent crime, men should also keep a gun on thier hip at all times for just in case.

[Subarugirl]

The majority of sexual assault crimes happen at home anyways it’s kind of rediciculas to expect someone to carry a gun on them at all times at home instead of addressing the issue of people who are committing the actual crimes. As far as I am aware you have to be 21 to even own a hand gun.

[captain_voidwalker]

18 in states with sensible laws. And you can try and address the people who commit the crimes but we don't live in a perfect world. Some people are just going to be scum bags. So just do what you can to make sure your on a level playing field. Carry a gun, go to a boxing gym and learn to throw a solid right hook, learn how to defend yourself and others.

[Subarugirl]

Well you can’t when the law penalizes your for defending yourself and prevents you from carry a hand gun for those in one of the highest risk groups. Wouldn’t it make more sense to address the root issue instead of putting all of the responsibility on the victim of these crimes instead of the people who actually commit them?

[captain_voidwalker]

You can vote to change the law or move somewhere the law allows you to defend yourself. There are options

[Subarugirl]

I am more than capable of defending my self now, but I wasn’t when I was 7, nor my sister when she was 5, or my husband when he was 5.. guns aren’t a miracle fix all.. they are tools

[EarthRealm]

As I Learned in a Tv show
Kill those that Become a nuisance if there dead they Won’t cause me any problems so better to Kill someone that way there Not around to cause problems.
Of course I would never actually kill someone because they do something I don’t like but It makes a Good Tv show

[captain_voidwalker]

I never claimed guns were a fix all, I'm just saying the best advice I can offer is arm yourself so you don't become a victim.

[Hogoblin_of_Venice]

links not working for me, I suspect I know of At least 1 case that you are talking about. You're not getting the full story there if it's the 1. Democrat or republican or even independent No prosecutor in the United States is going to Press charges Against a woman who they think defended themselves from a sexual predator. Now they may think she was claiming self defense when it was actually murder, And they're gonna be pretty sure they can make the case because if they try a woman for murder because if they get it wrong, and the woman is innocent. That will damage their careers and reputation a lot.

[Cuminginside]

When has it ever been simple, ever?

[Valso]

Such men don't deserve to be called "men", they're insects and deserve a death penalty!

I was raised by 4 women (mother, sister, grandmother, neighbour) and as a result I love women so much that I couldn't hurt them in any way, even if I wanted to. And I get really pissed when I see an insect beating a woman or the results of its handiwork on her face!

[BullShark]

Sexual predators have no gender just by the way, and I could say witn evidence that there are as many female sexual predators as there are men. The sad truth of the matter is that in most cultures and/or societies, the possibility of a woman being a sexual predator is automatically sweeped under the rug and people are lied to and told that women can't be sexual predators, or even go as far as to say that women can't commit rape and therefore cannot be blamed for rape accusations either.

If a man or a boy were to be sexually offended, attacked or even raped by a woman or man, people are generally quick to assume that "he must have done something to provoke her" or "he must have enjoyed it too because he was hard and he ejaculated afterwards which is a clear sign", when no, it's not. That's the human body's instinctual reaction. You don't need to be attracted to the person or enjoying it to have an erection or be aroused, but that's beside the point.

In short, I'm not trying to make light of male sexual predators. You're right in saying that they aren't real men at all and they rightfully deserve to be driven through hell and back. It's just that the sexual predator market is much, much larger and doesn't just encompass one singular gender.

[Valso]

@BullShark You're probably right but most often it's the man that beats the woman. Cases like that of Johny Depp are literally 1 in a million.

[Subarugirl]

Sexual predators aren't gender specific

[Valso]

How many rapes of men commited by women have you heard about? Cuz I've heard about... none.

[Subarugirl]

My husband was raped by a woman as a child... they are not as common but they are more common than a lot of people believe.

[Valso]

It wasn't a rape. Rape is only if any of the victim's holes has been penetrated. If she had done it using a pipe, then it would be a rape. Otherwise it's just sex and he got lucky. I wish my sister had "raped" me when I was a kid.

[BullShark]

@Valso so just because you haven't heard of any rape cases where men were the victim, rape against men committed by women don't exist now? Wow, that's pretty selfish and narrow minded of you.

I already posted my opinion here but in case you didn't happen to read it, as a child I was sexually abused by a woman much bigger and older than me, who manipulated me into keeping things hidden and let her do as she pleased because she wanted me to believe that nobody would believe me and I'll be partly blamed for it as well. Think about it. Victim blaming a child to satisfy your twisted sexual fantasies. Let that sink in.

[BullShark]

@Valso also if I may, are you really 38 years old? Because you sure do not seem to understand what the meaning of the word rape really is. According to the English dictionary, rape is a form of sexual act usually involving, but not always limited to, sexual abuse or intercourse carried out against a person without their consent. It does not specify gender anywhere. Just as how a male rapist would forcibly insert his penis inside a woman's vagina against her will and it's considered rape, similarly if a woman forcibly inserted a man's penis into her vagina without his consent, that is ALSO rape. Do you need me to draw a fucking diagram? I really don't understand what's not to understand here.

[Subarugirl]

Then unfortunately you are not only misinformed… but also wrong.

[Valso]

@BullShark There's nothing to sink in. It's just normal human sexuality but the world isn't ready for that yet. There are still to many people brainwashed into ignorance, repeating the same mantra as docile robots. Brainwashed by the same people who had made homosexuality illegal just a few decades ago. Unlike these docile robots I don't care what someone says about another person, I form my opinion based on my experience with that other person. That's why I don't hate anyone, not even pedoes, despite the attempts of the society to turn me into such a docile robot.
Nature clearly "states" what it thinks about "pedophilia" and you would know that if you had learned biology in school. Literally every single species on the planet (humans included) become capable of procreating as soon as possible after being born. Cats and dogs (lions, wild cats, wolves and so on of these animal families) - just 1 year after being born. Other species, depending on their lifespan, get there even sooner or later. If I remember correctly, cocroaches get there in just one month after being hatched. By our standards that's just before puberty. Human females become pregnancy capable at the age of 11-12 which clearly states what nature wants. Human males become capable of impregnating a female roughly at the same age 13-14.
So, you can keep repeating your mantra as much as you want, you won't change my mind on the matter.

[Subarugirl]

Sounds a lot like you are trying to justify rape and pedophilia….

[BullShark]

@Valso whatever you just said right now in that long and grammatically poorly formed comment made no sense, and it's honestly pretty sad how delusional you are. At first, I thought you were probably just misinformed but it turns out, you're clearly deranged. From whatever I could gather from that word vomit you posted, it looks like you're not only trying to justify all the crazies in the world who support pedophilia, incest, bestiality and rape, but you also just disproved your own initial comment as well. Unless you didn't know pedophilia is also, in fact, considered a form of sexual predator behavior because children aren't usually in the age of consent and are generally manipulated by the rapist adults into thinking it's okay to let someone use their body.

[BullShark]

Everything you said was right and all the points you mentioned are on the ball as well. It's funny that almost all of the signs you mentioned e. g gaslighting, manipulative behavior and making your partner feel worthless are all exactly the same signs to look out for in psychopaths and toxic partners and friends. I've been around a few to know and I can say for one that I know quite a few people who'd tick a lot of these boxes.

I'd appreciate it if you would have also mentioned and specified that sexual predators have no one gender and most people here are saying that only the men are to blame for this, when it isn't true. There are as many female sexual predators out there as there are male ones, but some are well hidden and mostly never really paid much attention to, but they're there.

As a child, I was a victim of sexual abuse, but I don't like talking about it much, because it's like a very hazy memory to me as I was very little at the time. Moreover, I don't normally share very personal stuff about myself but here, I feel like people might need an example. I'll spare the whole story and just say that she was my neighbors' maid who was around 10 years older than me at the time, and played with me pretending to be my friend, but her "games" took a dark, physical turn when we'd be alone. I was scared to tell my parents or anyone for the matter because as I was still a dumb little kid, she was able to scare me pretty good by manipulating me and telling me that I was equally guilty as she was and if I tell my parents, they'll end up disowning me because I've "shamed them" now and I'll be forced to live on the streets. So I let her do as she pleased. It wasn't until a year or two later when my neighbors caught her masturbating in her room alone to erotic adult magazines and kicked her out for good and I never saw her again after that.

[rtj1211]

There are just as many emotional/spiritual/professional predators out there as sexual predators/relationship predators.

And just to make everyone aware of it, there are plenty of women who are supreme emotional predators. I've been a serial victim of them in years gone by.

Non-sexual familial abuse follows exactly the patterns described above.

[Luopio27]

The movie New Mutants showed how victims see pedos. Some pedos may see nothing but pink hearts when they look at their victims but all victims see them as monsters they are. There is nothing romantic about these predators.

[Luopio27]

@ Subarugirl
When I was 14 or so, an old woman offered me and my friends as young as 12 year old, sex for money. One of us gave her the middle finger and all of us walked away.

The new mutant movie, there should be more films and games that visualize how ugly and scary predators are in the eyes of kids.

[Subarugirl]

Sexual predators often look like family members or a family friend to children.

[Luopio27]

I believe that is true before the pedos start touching their privates. After that, all memories of those adults are just painful traumas that trigger anger, fear and hatred.

[Subarugirl]

I can assure you it is true before and after from first hand experience

[CA4444]

😔😔😔

[Texaskid1]

How to spot a sexual predator:

Chris Hansen is asking them to have a seat.

"But she said she was 18!!!"

[alance99]

Nice Mytake , we need to really teach about this to young kids 🙂

[Subarugirl]

They try to but lots of states are trying to block sex education for children

[alance99]

They won't allow abortion, then they won't give sex education and all this will only lead to teenage pregenancies, rape and molestation, the future doesn't seem bright for future generation and economy as whole

[Subarugirl]

I think that's the point... birth rates have been declining for a while because people don't want to bring more children into a shitty situation. So instead of fixing things and incentivizing people to have more children they would rather just force people to.

[Sixgunsound]

The government needs tax cattle to subsidize its endless vote purchasing and graft and embezzlement and to make sure the big guy gets his cut. If us peasants stop giving them those tax cattle and they start to see a noticeable dip in revenues they take corrective measures to keep their income up. Why do you think the CIA trained funded and propped up Betty Friedan so long? They needed to open the floodgates of a previously untapped tax revenue stream and convince women it was their own idea for what they themselves wanted.

[Kasabiian]

Don't mock me, I know this sounds like a ridiculous idea, but why couldn't other responsible adults known to the children teach them sex education.. someone like.. for instance... their.. parents?

[Subarugirl]

@Kasabiian they should…. But the track record there isn’t exactly great now is it

[Kasabiian]

True... The kids probably don't even know who their parents are.. or their parents are still children themselves, or their parents are druggies, or drunkards incapable of coherant speech, or actually are the abusers themselves.

On second thoughts, the last people children should trust to educate them is their parents. Sorry, my bad, silly suggestion.

[Subarugirl]

@Kasabiian well that’s dramatic

[Sparkie460]

It's disgusting what guys do to women. All women should carry mace or pepper spray. God forbid if I see a man attacking a woman, child or animal.

[Blackcosmo]

It's sad to know sexual abuse is so common. Thanks for the informative post.

[Js3522]

you missed out the one, never form a pattern of what you do, change your way of doing things, a predator usually finds a pattern and then looks at or where he can do things and get away,

[pizzalovershouse]

It's pretty bad when a guy or girl does that I had an ex who burnt me once with a cigarette also brused my pee tube

[Subarugirl]

You mean your urethra?

[pizzalovershouse]

I guess you call it that I'm not good with anatomy

[pizzalovershouse]

Like internal parts

[pizzalovershouse]

So that doesn't mean I dont care about the body or about girls rights to abuse or being treated bad

[Subarugirl]

Lol I’d assume that list adult men would be familiar with the anatomy of their own genitalia

[pizzalovershouse]

Us guys just use slag for our genital

[baserunner611]

Your heart is in a good place, but go sexual abuse hotline 800656hop. for you or your family get help mental and physical health

[Sixgunsound]

Thank you for posting this!

[exitseven]

Good MyTake. It makes me sick

[CA4444]

Yeah me too, don’t even want to be thinking about this kind of behaviors cause then I’ll be overthinking with men in general…

[Zolly99999]

Both male and female !

[Subarugirl]

Yes... I thought that was quite obvious

[Zolly99999]

Not to some people. Some people think only men are predators...

[Subarugirl]

Well sexual predators are primarily men but I am pretty sure that most everyone is aware that anyone could be a sexual predator

[Zolly99999]

@Subarugirl not ever one thinks like you.
Fwiw I was assaulted by 2 women when i was a teenager. So it does happen.

[Subarugirl]

As far as I am aware most adults know that it does happen. There was a story not that long about about a teacher who sexually assaulted one of her students.

[Sixgunsound]

If I recall correctly the judge looked at the kid and said lucky you and threw the case out

[Subarugirl]

@Sixgunsound then you aren't recalling correctly because the teacher was arrested and was registered as a sex offender

[Sixgunsound]

There are significantly more cases of this than the ones either of us are thinking of. It happens a lot more than the media makes the choice to talk about it.

[Subarugirl]

@Sixgunsound oh it happens for sure 1 in 33 men will be victim of rape or attempted rape as opposed to 1 in 6 women

[Anonymous]

we need more of them

[Anonymous]

Good post ty