Society & Politics

God was an Atheist!

Hello! Did you enjoy my clickbait? I kinda feel bad about putting it there... but I also don't because it is relevant to what I'm talking about. Escentially there are two main things that the bible states about God that leads to hilarius implied facts about God (at least I think they're hilarius.) Please note, I'm not here to offend anyone or belittle anyones beliefs because whether you're an Athiest, Christian, Chatholic, Muslim, Jew, Pegan, Satanist, or anythinging else that I didn't mention you're entitled to your beliefs and I'm not going to force mine (which I have ommited from this mytake) unto anyone else. Also statisticaly speaking the vast majority of us are wrong so we should have a little bit more of an open mind about religion (after all only one group can be right.)


God was an Atheist!


So jumping right into it the first fact about God according to the bible is that he is omniscient or all knowing. Psalm 147:5 "Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit." 1 John 3:19-20 "By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything." Well in order to knnow how something feels, sadness as an example, you have to experiance it. It is impossible to know what sadness feels like without experiencing it and since God is omniscient its implied that he's experienced sadness. Therefore, God has experienced all of the following...


Being an Athiest, the cold, the flue, getting shot, shooting somebody, menstration, castration, taxation without representation (basically living in Washington D.C.), hangover, death by bordom, middle person in a human centipede, being a centipede, raping every single creature in existence (including centipedes), being raped by every single creature in existence, licked everything (to know what it tastes like) and a three way with Donald Trump and Barak Obama... in space!



God was an Atheist!


The second fact about God that I would like to talk about is that he's omnipresent or literally everywhere at the same time. Proverbs 15:3 "The eyes of the LORD are in every place, Watching the evil and the good." Colossians 1:17 "He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." Therefore God is simultaneously watching you as you watch porn and watching the actors make the video from every possible angle. He is literally watching the inside of your butthole throughout all of its existence as well as the buttholes of every creature on this planet right now (including centipedes.)


Anyways, that's all I have for today, hopefully you were at least partially entertained and if you have any other funny things to point out go ahead and mention them I'd be happy to read them. Also I hope nobody was offended by this, and if you are then I apologize for that. However, you should also be offended by the bible because technically this is what they mean when they say God's omnipresent and omniscient. And try not to let this one mytake ruin your day.


God was an Atheist!


God was an Atheist!
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