To Breastfeed In Public Or Not To Breastfeed In Public, That Is The Question

[Anonymous]

I am 19 years old and have a beautiful little infant daughter who is the light of my world, but before I had my little love I had no idea how hard it was for breasfeeding mothers. I have always known their was some stigma to it, but after my own expierence I was appalled.

My husband and I were taking my younger brother to the park. I had our daughter with us and after some time she became hungry, so I found a secluded area under a gazebo to feed her. While I was breastfeeding her I had several people come out of their way and come up to me to tell me that I was disgusting, that I needed to put "it" away, that I needed to do it in private because it was gross, and I was being a horrible person for exposing myself to kids and that I needed to be arrested even though you couldn't even really see my breast.

That was just the tip of the iceberg. After a while a small group of some younger teenage boys came up to me and were saying vulgar and hurtful things to me about myself and my daughter and were asking if I could "Pop out my other titty" because they were hungry and wanted some too and said that I obviously didn't mind exposing my "titties" to everybody. One even reached and try to pull my shirt down so my other breast would come out.

It took everything my husband had not to beat them senseless. He did call park security though, but they didn't do anything. NOT ONE SINGLE THING. I was horrified. The security said that I shouldn't have been breastfeeding in public if I didn't want things like this happening and that their was nothing they could do since I apparently iniated it.

Since then I try not to breastfeed in public, and I normally dont. On some occasions I do, but now I wear a cover that my daughter absolutely hates.

And even then I sometimes get mean glares and dissaproving whispers.

I don't understand what is so wrong with a woman feeding her child like nature intended? It is recommended that you breastfeed your child until the age of four, or at least provide them with breastmilk. People need to stop shaming mothers for doing what is natrual. It is horrible how we get treated just for taking care of our babies. If you don't like it, nobody is making you look. You normally can't even see that much of the boob. Stop sexualizing the organ. I understand that they are nice to play with when your having sex, but they aren't toys. They aren't just for sex. Their main purpose is to feed babies and mothers should have the freedom to be able to do that without getting called horrible names and getting shamed.

It's natural and lovely and nothing to be ashamed of.

[Red_Arrow]

I don't know where you live, but many places have passed laws to protect nursing mothers from such morons. Here in Oregon, nursing in public is protected by law, and I know it is also protected in many other places. The sad part is that such a normal and natural things needs legal protection.

I know what you mean about the baby not liking the cover. Our daughter refused to have her head covered while nursing, so it was left off. And my wife did not suffer any of the crap you did and this was over 35 years ago. You think society would have matured by now.

[cpzpbx3]

I have had similar experiences, and I'm nervous because I will be breastfeeding my next child as well (I'm currently pregnant). It seems things have gotten even worse for breastfeeding mothers in the five years since I breastfed my son.

If some punk ever tried to pull on my shirt while I was feeding my child, I swear I would be arrested if my husband didn't get to him first, because I would vanquish his pathetic little existence on the spot. His mother should be ashamed of herself for raising such a rude little fuck. So sorry that happened to you. :(

[cpzpbx3]

I also find it very odd to see so many men bitching about being offended by breastfeeding. I can guarantee you would NEVER catch those same men complaining about an attractive woman with her tits hanging out of a low cut top (when you can literally see way more boob than you can when someone is nursing). Like really? If you're going to whine about something, at least be fucking consistent. If you hate tits when a kid is eating from them, you should hate them all the time. Otherwise you just look like an arrogant prick, and no one is going to take you seriously.

[Brokenheartedx]

I don't mind mothers breastfeedinG as long as they aren't doing it In full view of my kids... nothing wrong going to a quiet corner to do it but when it's in the middle of a shopping precinct that's not on... feeding kids is about bonding with baby... not bonding with baby in full view of everyone else!!

Here we have mothers who protest outside stores breastfeeding in their hundreds... it makes me wonder why are the doing this what point are they making?

my sister breastfed her kids, she used to express milk at work for the babysitter... or if I was watching her kids.. defrost her milk then heat it up... so I'm not anti breastfeeding!! I just don't get the huge public display nowadays... I bottle fed my kids and I'd find somewhere up the back in a cafe to feed mine as you know babies can make some weird noises when feeding- they may be cute to us to other people not so much... so as much as I'm for breastfeeding I really don't want to sit in a cafe or restaraunt and hear the contented slurps of a baby it kind of puts me off my meal.. we might not see boobs but we can hear it..

[jacquesvol]

Don't procreate. You'll be happier.

[jacquesvol]

Kids don't care about breasts.

[Brokenheartedx]

Going to fuckoff you weirdo

[Sbgirl]

Of course people should be able to breastfeed in public! It's horrible there is still such a stigma. What those teenage boys did to you is sexual harassment and I am shocked that the security did not do anything about it! That's just so wrong that anyone is even complaining to you. How come I see so many women wearing tops so low they basically expose their breasts and no one complains but the minute a woman naturally feeds her hungry child there is such a stigma. You poor thing you should not have to put up with that in public and your baby should be able to be fed whenever she wants. The only thing I can suggest is that you use a blanket to cover your breat because that's what my mum did with me ( but you shouldn't have to, it's ridiculous). Hope things get better for you and your daughter and for everyone breastfeeding. Its beyond ridiculous that our society sees breast fine in a sexual capacity, but when they are used for the thing they are there for in the first place it's seen as 'wrong.' Don't let this stop you from doing what is only natural 😊

[mikemx55]

I seriously think it's inappropriate. It is still a boob, and no woman would show it to the public if it wasn't for the baby. It gets weird, cause what are we suppose to do? Ignore it? look at it? Like I said, it is still a boob! As a man, I get mixed feelings.

Yes, it is a perfectly natural thing, as all mammals do it, but humans have conceived the notion to cover the women's breasts, and that's how we expect them to be. It is a natural thing, but it doesn't mean you have to, or can do it in public. I can give you many examples of natural things that you don't do in public. And showing a boob to the world is included.

While feeding a child is obviously a natural thing, you would never show your boob in another situation. So what makes this situation different? You are still a woman, a person. Being a mother doesn't change that.

"Stop sexualizing the organ." It's not fully on our control. It's not something we see everyday (and I'm glad, it's not banal as that), so we either glance at it.. or avoid looking at it? How are we suppose to react? No reaction will be good for you. If we ignore, it's because we're avoiding, if we look, it's because we're looking. I would never say anything to the person, cause I'm just not like that... but it gets a bit uncomfortable when they are doing absolutely nothing to hide it.
And you experienced the horny teenagers bad education... well, that was unfortunate.. but you must have expected some looks... like I said, it's not something we see everyday (gladly)
Any doubts? I hope that you don't misinterpret me.

[cpzpbx3]

Have you ever seen a woman breastfeed? You can't even see anything! You can literally see more boob when a woman has a low-cut top on. Look if you must, but I refuse to never leave my house for fear of my child being hungry just to appease your ignorance. I really don't care if you look. Like I said, you can't even see nipple or anything when I breastfeed (and I have really big boobs). But making shitty comments to a woman feeding her child is unnecessary and rude.

[jacquesvol]

@mikemx55 It's no a guy sucking at the boob, it's a suckling: an unweaned baby. That makes all the difference. Don't tell me you get horny from seeing a baby being fed.

[mikemx55]

@jacquesvol it's not the sucking... it's the boob itself.. it's not something you choose, it's a boob.

[jacquesvol]

WTF is wrong with a breast? Do breasts hurt or maim persons? Do they rape?

[cpzpbx3]

Breasts are not obscene.

[mikemx55]

@jacquesvol I never said that, and read my god damn comment before you start putting words in my mouth,, this goes for @cpzpbx3 too

[jacquesvol]

@mikemx55
Don't worry about a breast. It will be hard to find something less offensive or less dangerous than a boob.

[jacquesvol]

@cpzpbx3
Exact.

[mikemx55]

@jacquesvol @cpzpbx3
I never replied to you... cause I just didn't feel like it.. but ok, here I go:
"You can't even see anything!", almost true, because we can see a lot: the baby's mouth only covers the nipple, so even with a piece of cloth (which is usually used from what I perceive) a lot can be seen, and I would not expect the woman to cover the face of the baby just to hide the breast.

"I refuse to never leave my house for fear of my child being hungry just to appease your ignorance".. feel free to leave the house.. feel free to breastfeed.. but it is expected that you know when it's feeding time, and that you'd do it somewhere private. It's ok if it's an emergency, but I don't see it appropriate as an everyday task you know?

"But making shitty comments to a woman feeding her child is unnecessary and rude."
- yes, I completely agree with that...
(continues)

[mikemx55]

It's not that I feel disgusted about it at all (nor horny for that matter), what I mean is that it is an act of "love" between a mother and a child, and I think it should be private when possible.

On a final note, I just wanted to point out, that I have never seen the act in public places.. so this is just the idea I have without having faced the actual situation.

And I leave you with the same sentence (assuming that someone would do this as an everyday act):
"... you would never show your boob to the public in another situation. So what makes this situation different? You are still a woman, a person. Being a mother doesn't change that."

I hope that clarifies my "ignorant" view on this, as you called it.

[jacquesvol]

@mikemx55
"Being a mother doesn't change that."
It does. And seeing a breast in a breast feeding situation should change your view on the breast too: it has no erotic function, it is not unclean nor ugly.
A feeding breast is not a fucking breast. Are these from Playboy or Hustler?:
https://www.wga.hu/art/l/leonardo/03/3litta1.jpg
www.petruspapa2.org/.../...erge_van_der_weyden.jpg

[jacquesvol]

14th. century paintings representing Jesus and Mary

[mikemx55]

@jacquesvol man... you keep on putting words in my mouth... ugly? unclean? whatever man...

[cpzpbx3]

Have you ever been around a baby? They don't have a concept of "feeding times". They know when they're hungry, which can be literally any moment, and they won't wait. There isn't always someplace private available. It's not something I LIKE doing in public, but if I want to go anywhere ever, then I have to accept the possibility of needing to feed in public. And I don't understand people being upset about that.

[cpzpbx3]

Also, you can see more boob when a woman wears a low-cut top... I never seem to hear anyone complain about that, though.

[mikemx55]

@cpzpbx3 hm... about the feeding times.. I thought you could sort of guess..., I mean,.. it's not ThAt random, but it falls into the category of "and I think it should be private WhEn PoSsIbLe."

I think I already answered that about what we can see and the situation about the clothing piece.
Anything else?

[cpzpbx3]

If you think it's "not that random" then you clearly don't have any kids. Infants tend to "cluster feed" when going through growth spurts... Meaning they could literally be hungry any time, even if it's fifteen minutes after the last feeding.

And no, you didn't really answer that. You said in your original response that you believe it's inappropriate and should be done in private. That isn't always possible, and people who are butthurt need to just get over it because nursing mothers' rights are protected. End of.

[mikemx55]

@cpzpbx3 "That isn't always possible" ?
Many times it is... and there is a difference between not having a private place and not looking for one.

Now you say "Ohh, I should not have to look for one blablabla" well... I say you should... for your own privacy

[cpzpbx3]

If I'm in a restaurant with my other two kids, I'm sorry but I'm not going to abandon my own food, force my kids to abandon theirs, and go off in search of a "private" place to nurse if my infant gets hungry. Obviously if it is possible and convenient, I will seek out a secluded area... but I'm not going to inconvenience myself or my children to do it, especially if I can discreetly feed my infant right where I am.

Like I said, you obviously don't have kids, so I don't expect you to get it--but luckily, you don't have to get it, because it isn't any of your business where or how a mother chooses to feed her infant.

[jacquesvol]

@mikemx55
You clearly have an issue here.
Get over it, get a life.
There's nothing shocking about breastfeeding. NOTHING !

[mikemx55]

@cpzpbx3 I think I've stated my thoughts above, and misunderstood or not, I'm not in the mood to re-explain them..
(If I'm bothering you with this, is only because you replied to my comment)

yup, it is none of my business that's why I don't go around bothering women on it.
My only business is with myself and my own thoughts. And that, I've always managed pretty well in my little mind.

-----------
@jacquesvol "Get over it, get a life." I may not have much of a life, but this is clearly bothering you more than me... since you had to come here bug me in my opinion... go have fun in that exciting life of yours.. have fun for the both of us..

[Spiorad_Aisce]

As I was reading your take I was trying to phrase my answer and then you did it for me " Stop sexualizing the organ... their main purpose is to feed babies and mothers should have the freedom to be able to do that".
I am honestly appalled by that story and I am not sure where you are from but I hope it isn't the norm - I must admit I have never seen anything like this in my country and as far as I know women have a trouble free experience breastfeeding their kids outdoors here, it is like there is no fuss about it so it just happens so nobody really takes much notice of it (Of course I may be wrong but that is just my feeling on how it is here)
I am sorry you experienced that and hope you don't have to suffer from that social harassment/abuse again.

[myTake Owner]

Thank you so much for your opinion. I've asked a question similar to this asking for advice on how to handle this and how to make people more comfortable with it. I wish where I lived was more comfortable with breastfeeding mothers. Where you live sounds amazing compared to where I am.

[AdamThomas]

I think it's fucked up the way people react. It's not even comparable to fucking in public, you're just feeding your baby. My girlfriend breastfed our son in public and never got the reactions you got, that's shocking, I would have lost it and attacked those people.

[myTake Owner]

My husband wanted too. It took everything he had not too. Theirs one guy on here practically justifying what they did. It hurts my heart.

[AdamThomas]

I guess the only thing you can do is ignore them and stop giving a fuck what they think because you're not doing anything wrong

[lkjhg69cum]

That punk kid needs his neck broken. Do the world and tax payers a favor and snuff that piece of trash before he becomes a career welfare recipient who lives in his parents basement and plays x-box all day. Douche bag. All you guys complaining about women breast feeding, WTF? What the hell do you think they are there for? Sexual fun is their secondary function. I love boobs as much or more than any other man, probably more, but their first natural use is a bottle. WTF, back off. Nothing wrong with a woman feeding her child in public. Why the hell would that bother ANYONE?

[Anonymous]

Personally, I find the way you and your child were treated to be absolutely appalling. I do believe breastfeeding should be done in modest privacy, though based on your scenario it sounded as though that is exactly what you did. How dare they say such atrocious things. Those park security members are useless- you could have those boys arrested for harassment, and depending on how far he got to pulling your shirt down, assault. I myself would only publicly breastfeed if necessary in a secluded area as you did, and find that unless you are out flashing your breasts, you are not wrong. Honestly, I'm from NYC where women are topless in Times Square, and no one gives a damn about their indecency. How disgustingly ironic. I'm sorry for what you went through.

[xobrowneyedbeauty]

even if you were straight up topless for no reason in public, no one would have the right to come up to you and try to touch you! that's so not ok. the vulgar comments and such are shitty, but to actually TRY TO TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF. oh my god i would have punched that kid in the fucking face. wow.

breastfeeding in public is completely natural. my mother breastfed me and my younger sister, and she always had to go to such lengths to make sure she was covered when she wanted to breastfeed my sister (and i imagine me as well) in public places. the fact that people expect you to easily cover yourself with a blanket or constantly carry around bottles in case your baby needs to eat is absurd. i think unless you just straight up take off your shirt and bra, it's no one else's damn business. that's my opinion at least.

[RoyalBlueOceans]

I honestly don't understand why people get their panties in a wad when a mother feeds her child. The baby needs to eat and after the mother has given birth her body produces milk for her baby. Everyday you see oversexualized commercials for almost everything- even food! You see lingerie commercials and that's all fine... but as soon as you see part of breast feeding a young baby- people freak out. WHY? it's not like she is walking around shirtless telling people to look at her. Don't like it... turn your head! Her breasts make milk specifically to feed her child. It's not wrong, it's completely natural, and NO ONE should feel ashamed for feeding their baby. At all.

[bluenose1872]

It should be private unless it's an emergency. You can express milk into a bottle for later. Thats what the pumps are for. All these new age fads like gays kissing in public and breast feeding in public and all that shit. It just smacks of fuck everybody I'll do what I want. There's reasons we don't fuck in public, walk around naked and other things. Coz some people don't want to see those things and that's what being civilised is about. A set of rules that benefit everybody and save trouble. We all pay for our country, we should all have the right to live how we want to.

[myTake Owner]

What's wrong with gays kissing? What do they have to do with this situation? They have every right you do. Do you kiss your significant other in public? If you do you have no right to tell them they can't. It's not a "new age fad". And my baby? You're part of the problem. Sexualizing an organ not meant to be sexual. If you have a problem with a woman breastfeeding, covered or not covered, then I'm sure they'd be glad to let you handle the screaming, squirming, infant. Breastfeeding is natural. People shouldn't be shamed for it. The U. S. A is one of the very very very few countries who have a problem with breastfeeding. Almost every other country is fine with it. Also, nobody is forcing you to look at a breastfeeding mother if it bothers you that bad. Because it too isn't a "fad" because moms have been doing it since the dawn of time. 😒

[bluenose1872]

In private.

[myTake Owner]

Well you said we all have a right to live how we want to. I want to be able to breastfed my child without ignorant people chastising me. A lot of States have laws protecting breastfeeding mothers from people like yourself and the ones in my story. I only wish mine did. Although it's not illegal to breastfeed in my state it's perfectly legal for strangers to cuss you out. A breast isn't a sexual organ. It's no different than your chest and your nipples.

[bluenose1872]

Are you serious. My God do americans live in a fools paradise. When I say people have the right to live how they want I mean the majority. It's nothing to do what's right and wrong it's to do with what the masses want. They don't want Thierry kids asking awkward questions before their time and the fact your making a spectacle of yourself just to probe you can. It's petty and small minded. For they made it legal to walk around naked tommorow most normal people wouldn't because there's kids around. Only the clowns wanting to prove a point would

[myTake Owner]

Your small minded hatefulness is really giving me a headache.. I forgive your ignorance because their really isn't anything wrong with a breast. Some places Women are allowed to go around topless. Personally if you have a problem with women showing their chest or breastfeeding then men shouldn't be allowed to be topless in public either because a nipple is a nipple. It's one or the other. I'm sorry you don't understand that.
And if my child asked about breast and what a woman was doing when they were breastfeeding I would tell them that the woman is using her breast how nature intended and feeding her baby which is completely natural. I'm not going to lie to them and tell them babies just get their milk from bottles or that a woman's chest is made of pillows or whatever.

[bluenose1872]

Pissing and shitting is completely natural as well.

[myTake Owner]

So you're compairing my breastmilk, the thing that keeps my baby healthy and well, to piss? Nice. It's not even really comparable. Are you one of those guys that's perfectly fine using a woman's body, mainly her breast, to sell things in the media? If you do you're one major hypocrite. More than I originally thought you were in the first place.

[bluenose1872]

Your a little do-gooder who lives up amongst the rainbows and the unicorns. Where alls fair and the sun smiles down on us all. Lol, I live down on the ground amongst the beetles and things that bite and die and rot where they fall. I learn more here than you ever will with your crackpot view of the world. Nobody wants to see it. It makes people uncomfortable. Do people need to write signs before it sinks in.

[myTake Owner]

Their are plenty of people who don't mind it. And true, some people don't like it. But it's my right to feed my child and nobody is forcing you to watch. It's not that hard to look away if it really bothers you that bad.

[bluenose1872]

So you'll make a bunch of people uncomfortable just coz you want to exercise you're right to be annoying? This is really problem with the world. Full of self righteous idiots who think fuck everybody else

[myTake Owner]

Sure thing. My baby comes first. Not a bunch of strangers I don't know who could simply look away.

[bluenose1872]

There you go. Narcissistic

[myTake Owner]

Theirs nothing narsitic about feeding a baby. I'm not obsessed with myself. I just don't care about strangers.

[bluenose1872]

Neither do governments and politicians. That's why there's industrial scale murder every 5 minutes

[cupcakes94]

I'm so sorry about everything you've gone through. I will never for the life of me understand 1. why people have such a huge problem with breastfeeding and 2. why the HELL they think it's their place to say anything. If it makes you uncomfortable, fine. I don't get it, but fine. However, it is NOT fine, NOT AT ALL to shame a breastfeeding mother.

It may not mean much, but I 100% support you. It makes me sad that you have to turn breastfeeding into this secretive thing.

[Ginnyweasley97]

I would have called the police that's harassment. It's totally natural and ok to feed a baby in public. When did America get so afraid of tits?

[myTake Owner]

We thought about it, but the security did nothing so my husband decided it was a lost cause. I completely agree that it is natural to feed a baby. Americans are so ignorant when it comes to these subjects, especially the males. Just look at what some of the men have said on this post. It hurts my heart. I''m an American but I'm getting to really hate my country.

[myTake Owner]

But some of them have been very kind and understanding to the situation. We need more like them.

[Ginnyweasley97]

Absolutely we need more understanding people. I don't know why this country is so backwards. It's making me hate this country.

[jacquesvol]

@Ginnyweasley97 Calling the cops, in the USA? Good luck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pICRnm1zJ_o

[Ginnyweasley97]

@jacquesvol fair point. Especially the cops in my town.

[CœurRosé]

It's honestly ridiculous to me how people make it into SUCH a big deal. We see Victoria's Secret ads all over the place containing women in scanty bras and no one bats an eye, but it's suddenly inappropriate when a woman is doing what nature intended her to do - feed her own baby?

[BuchitaBuchys]

It saddens me that this happens. What's even sadder is the men commenting like it's "ok/expected" simply for having a boob out to feed a child.

I don't get it. I know that men are much more civilized than that, and they constantly tell women that we shouldn't fear them in public, but the second a breast is exposed, TO FEED AN INFANT, and all that civil behavior goes out the window?

It's a baby eating. People need to relax.

[godfatherfan]

Doing it in public is not a horrible thing... just cover with a blanket.
if your whipping your tit out in public, then that is an issue.
it shouldn't have to be, but it is.
the ones that just take it out in the middle of everyone seem to want a problem.
it was never an issue for my wife to just cover with a blanket and we had 3 boys.

[Anonymous]

Where do you live? I'm pretty sure your community is not the norm. I see no issues with breast feeding in public but I do think some attempt at privacy is a good thing (& by that I just mean the secluded area under a gazebo). I feel for you because i think you're living in a close minded ignorant community.

[myTake Owner]

I live in the Southern U. S.

[Opinion Owner]

Ah that makes sense. I'm out in CA & this scenario is insane to me. Best wishes to you & your family.

[Satisfyd]

It looks like a lot of people don't understand that babies systems are not so mature so when they need to eat, they need to eat. This is a baby eating a beautiful and natural thing. Why can't people just mind their own business.

[cpzpbx3]

Smart man.

[Satisfyd]

@cpzpbx3 comes from raising 4 of my own all breastfed. They are all very happy and healthy. Don't ever let anyone try to stop you from doing what is best for your children.

[front2back]

I've sucked on boobs in public before, so I think it's only natural kids should have that right.
That being said, yeah I think in highly public places like restaurants you should put a small cloth over just out of respect. People who are upset even after that just need to get over themselves.

[Anonymous]

I think it shouldn't be allowed in public. Cause I don't wanna see your tits out while I'm eating, it makes me and others uncomfortable. Just give it a bottle, cover up, go to a bathroom stall, or feed the baby before you go out. There are tons of alternatives than pulling your tits out for the world to see. Respect other people's views on it and cover up.

[myTake Owner]

Have you tried eating with a blanket on your head in the middle of summer? They don't like it. Babies tend to eat every two hours so feeding before going out isn't always going to help. And I'm not feeding my baby in a bathroom. It's disgusting. Do you like eating in a bathroom? If you don't like it don't look. My baby won't take a bottle and I do occasionally cover up but she usually pulls the blanket off anyway. Besides you see more boob by wearing a low cut top than you do by breastfeeding during most times.

[jacquesvol]

Anonymous are you REALLY disgusted by tits? Did you ever see your own in a mirror?

[Nice_Guy_Last]

God, it kills me to live in a country with idiots. I commend your husband's restraint. If I were him, I would have decked the kids and gotten into shouting matches with every fuck that looked at you the wrong way. He's a calmer, better man than I.