Please Do Not Hate On Breastfeeding Mothers

loves2learn m

We get enough disapproval from strangers and our spouses and our in laws and our distant relatives. We do not need it from you too.

Breastfeeding did not come easy for my son and I. My son was due on December 25, but my water broke on December 3 at 36 weeks, 6 days. I was both surprised and worried. I wasn’t even full term. When we arrived at the hospital, they told us if he was born before midnight he would have to go to the NICU. If he was born after midnight we could keep him. We hoped for the latter. Sixteen hours of labor and minimal progress from 4-6 cm later, my doctor recommended a c-section. He was born on December 4th 10:34 am by emergency c-section. Afterward, my doctor informed me that he’d had his hand down the birth canal with his head and that’s what had prevented my labor from progressing. She said he was never coming out. My husband also mentioned later that he’d overheard the nurses saying that I was starting to smell like I was getting an infection. As he put it, I had started to “smell pretty ripe down there.” Thanks honey.

I don’t believe it was the c-section itself that contributed to our breastfeeding difficulties, as much as the actions of the staff afterward. He was born, I kissed him and he and my husband were sent away to the nursery for what seemed like an ETERNITY. I was separated from him for several hours because the staff thought I needed some sleep. I disagreed then and I disagree now. I needed to be with my baby. I have since been informed that the hospital policy has changed. They now place the baby on mom’s chest for skin-to-skin immediately after the c-section while they stitch mom up. I feel like I was robbed of that crucial time with my baby. In hindsight, I wish I had done more c-section research, but I really had no idea what to expect. No first time mother thinks they are going to end up with an emergency c-section.

Things seemed like they were going OK in the hospital. The nurses and LCs were able to get him to latch, but I couldn’t for the life of me figure it out. Then a nurse brought some formula and I dropper fed it to him, because I’d just had this tiny little baby and I was afraid he might starve. Of course I wish I hadn’t done that, but again, I didn’t know that I should research these things.

When we got home, things were even more difficult. At least my milk came in on day 5, but I just couldn’t get him to latch well on my own. Thank goodness a fabulous LC foresaw this and scheduled me a series of appointments before I left the hospital. I’m pretty sure breastfeeding wouldn’t have worked out if it wasn’t for her. It got so bad that I found myself in a mess of tears on Christmas morning at our family celebration. I was barely pumping anything (despite pumping every three hours around the clock), he wasn’t latching properly, he was getting supplemental bottles with every breastfeed and I was convinced my milk had all but dried up. I was in a bad place. At that time it seemed as if my happiness hinged on how well breastfeeding was going and I was about 90% sure it wasn’t going to work out. I was devastated.

THIS IS WHAT BREASTFEEDING IS LIKE. IT IS A SACRIFICE.

Me breastfeeding my tiny baby
Me breastfeeding my tiny baby
Please Do Not Hate On Breastfeeding Mothers
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Charliefretz329
    I completely understand and agree! Leave our women alone! And some babies do not tolerate eating under a blanket 😠!!! Raising children and especially babies is difficult and tiring and time consuming and stressful. Harassing baby mothers and especially while they are breast feeding should be punishable by flogging in the town stockade and being left for 3 days. This will convey an adequate sample of how difficult it is to be a mother.
    Is this still revelant?
    • I 100% agree. My younger son would not tolerate eating under a blanket. He kept throwing it off. I think he was too hot. And didn’t understand why he doesn’t need a blanket at home but does out and about.

    • Exactly the same here

    • In this Summer heat (at least here in PA) the heat and humidity have been TERRIBLE!!!

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  • Mangospacho
    Added to the list of disapproval of breastfeeding moms: GaG moderators. But it is really difficult to breastfeed even if you don’t have issues with getting him to latch. We were only 25% successful. Only one of the kids would actually prefer to breastfeed and not take a bottle.
    Is this still revelant?
    • It is so difficult! I don’t think people realize that. I didn’t until I actually tried it.

    • It is tough work and it hurts too. I was surprised they were that durable after just one child.

      But you notice the other parents who nitpick how you feed your child usually have children that are absolutely out of control?

    • Yes it is. And it does at first. Thankfully that calmed down for me.

      True. Lol. So quick to judge others.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2665
  • 19magic
    Lovely mytake, me breastfeeding my little girl was the first time I felt like I was a mum, I never felt like it before and when ever I talked to my health visitor or midwife about what I felt hoping to get some sympathy they my in my file suspected rape from my father. One time even leading me out of the hospital room to ask that very question.

    I remember saying to the medwife everyone is so excited about meeting her and yet I don't feel anything and as the pregnancy progressed I got dizzy all the time and passed out a few times and the midwives didn't help at all.

    And then it was only a short time but I couldn't get her to latch for a day and a half and I felt so shitty about it. And to top it off my Nan complained to me asking why on earth did I buy bottles for if I was breastfeeding her which I then had to explain pumping as I was still going to uni for 5-8 hours at a time (so of course I won't be there to feed her). And after that when I did mixed formula and breast about 4 months she complained again saying I'm going to ruin her and make her ill by mixing.

    It was so hard in the beginning. And it would have been nice to have more support.
    • I feel for you. So very true. And breastfeeding my kids was the most amazing bonding experience for us. ❤️❤️❤️

  • talover
    I sympathize with all breastfeeding mother's. I find the act wonderful and beautiful, especially after my wife gave birth to our first child. She too experienced a difficult time breastfeeding. It saddens me when our society views breastfeeding differently. Also, when they are trying to change the name from breastfeeding to chest feeding and the name for mother's to birthing people. Not kidding, look it up. It really undermines women and their role as mothers.
    • Thank you very much for your support! I have heard the term chest feeding. I get it for trans purposes but not cis women.

  • Smoke-n-Growls
    No hate, but at the same time if a mother chooses to have a child then she also chooses the work that comes with it.

    You can complain, but don't pretend your choice makes you some sorta scion or martyr.

    You chose this. Live with it with grace. Be a rolemodel for your child.
    • I don’t claim to be a martyr. But people need to understand when they hate on breastfeeding mothers it makes their already difficult life even harder. Not cool.

    • It only does so if the mother gives a fuck about the opinions of others.

      You're a mother. Your kid is more important than the opinions of some internet strangers or irl strangers. And if you're losing sight of that, then I feel for your child. I've been in their position and it fucking sucks.

    • My kids are absolutely the most important thing

  • TrueConfection
    Nice myTake on breastfeeding. It's something that doesn't come so immediately easy, but it is very rewarding for Mom and Baby in the end. Ignore the jerks, there are many that will come and go. Congratulations on your healthy baby boy! You have so much to look forward to!
    • Thank you so much! I definitely doesn’t come easy but it is the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I left out the years in my post. My babies are 9 & 5 and I love them to pieces.

  • Brainsbeforebeauty
    I never understand why people make such a big deal about women breastfeeding but it's okay for women to be at a public beach where there's families and small children with dental floss up their a$$ they call a bikini 🤦🙄
    • 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I know right? Freaking a$$ floss.

  • EmmaMary
    What a truly wonderful thought inspiring MyTake, and one that comes straight from the heart.

    Thank you for perhaps enlightening those that have no, or very little idea what new mums plus babies have to go though.
  • wingattebaby16
    I got you girl!

    i have been breast feeding 3 babies, 2 of my own.. (i was a wet nurse for a mom that had cervical cancer, but wanted to have her baby before treatment. She couldn't nurse due to the cancer drugs.)

    Breast feeding is a major Bond between you and your little one.

    I know family and friends and strangers act weird when i do it, even with a nursing blanket covering me.

    I tell them, "if God did not want me to nurse, then why did he give me boobs?"
    • I love this! I donated pumped milk to my friend who got a rare form of pregnancy related uterine cancer. I was so glad to be able to help her.

  • Poppykate
    You are not wrong about the struggles of motherhood. (Although I don’t know firsthand). I have seen some mothers do things, that make me wonder what they must have going in their lives to drop their standards, or to think that some actions are ok. (E. g. letting their children pee in parks like a dog, or changing a nappy on a table in a restaurant). Their struggles must be real! 😳
    I also don’t get why people would have a problem with breastfeeding- let the kid eat!
    • Thank you for the support! As far as letting them pee outside as long as they hide behind a tree I am ok with it, little kids little bladders lol.

      As for changing on a restaurant table, no. Gross. I have changed on benches when no changing facilities were provided.

  • Lliam
    Such an honest and heart rendering MyTake, loves2learn.
    I am so happy that you and your son finally go the hang of it.

    I can't imagine why some people are so prudish about breast feeding. Women flaunt their boobs all the time and rarely get any hate. But nurturing an infant is obscene?

    All I can say is, there are some really clueless and insensitive people out there.
  • OlderAndWiser
    I don't hate on women who breastfeed and it is the way things should be. However, some women seem to use breastfeeding as a sword: "I'm going to do this in public so everyone can see it and if you dare say one word to me, I'm gonna cut off your tallywhacker!"

    It's so easy to cover up; why make it a public affair?
    • I have to wholeheartedly disagree. I am sorry. We are just feeding our squirmy children. Please do not judge us. Just walk away.

    • Apple1996

      It is not easy to cover up a baby that isn't use to eating in the dark

    • @Apple1996 I've seen several women using covers like this and they seemed to get their baby fed without any problems. And you can always do this in a more private area rather than the main dining room of a restaurant. But if you want to do it in public, that is your right.

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  • humpbackjack
    I’m sorry you went through that and it’s hard to believe that people are still so ignorant but reality is they are and I guarantee you this if I’m somewhere and someone is giving a breastfeeding mom a hard time I’m gonna jump there shit and always have anyways you and your baby are beautiful and just be patient and try different things this advice works throughout their whole life and sometimes you have to be very creative
    • Thank you for the support and advice! Patience is key to parenting indeed.

  • crazysassypaws21
    it to help life to keep life going to be kind and caring to a life force growing aka a babie i dont see what the big deal if anything we shouldn't shame it be be proud, i never seen a woman do it thought so guess where ever this place is that breastfeedling ain't close by lol but i think it a beautiful thing and shouldn't look down on by anyone not a friend or the dad or sisters and brothers or bosses , nothing wrong with help life to keep going on
  • pleasestopthis
    Throwing hate on breastfeeding moms always gets on my nerves, I think it's super hypocritical. People don't bat an eye to ladies wearing super revealing mini bikinis (or topless) but the one time the breasts are being used for their one true function, and everyone lose their heads.
    • So very true. Thank you for saying that.

    • "People don't bat an eye to ladies wearing super revealing mini bikinis (or topless) but the one time the breasts are being used for their one true function, and everyone lose their heads." Maybe the problem is because they wear bikinis in a designated area like in a beach or in a club full of pervs who just stares and not warn them because it would be different if you wear bikini in a city park, church, office, buses or wherever pubic place anyone can go. I guarantee it's gonna make people lose their heads. If you say breasts aren't really sexual organs, then how come no girls walk around with proper attire only with their boobs popping out from their chest? How come girls have the decency to hide their boobs and feel harassed even if it's accidentally touched? Here's a fact for you, as much as you like to deny it's a sexual organ, you can't deny the fact that boobs are linked to how much estrogen you have which is a sex drive for women, boobs/nipple orgasm exist for both men and women but women experiences it better and girls get aroused when they breastfeed but if it's all natural, it's also only natural for guys to get turned on by boobs as well. You can deny it all you want but in the end, you're just looking for people who agrees with you and they're automatically correct and that's it.

    • Ok. you can breast feed in a club or beaches if you wanna do it in public but don't say i didn't warn you.

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  • InventorofWarp
    No straight man who likes tits disapproves of this.
    But I'm obviously gonna have trouble maintaining eye contact if I'm talking to a woman doing this.
    • I wanna hear from the two women and one man who disliked me on this.

    • Lol me too!

    • hahahmm

      There's a difference between liking & being a slave to them. And if a woman breastfeeding turns you on, you got your head in the wrong place.

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  • Made4sex
    Wow! That is such a sad story!! I am so sorry for you to have had to go through that. Thank goodness it got better and he is a strong and inquisitive little bugger now. Finding his moms toys… lol!
    This was a good post though! I don’t usually read mytakes. But yours are always interesting and usually thought provoking. So thanks!!
    • Thank you so much for reading and for the support!

    • Made4sex

      I do absolutely support breast feeding! I do however still find them a huge turn on and so I do also bag for coverage when breastfeeding… unlike the whole free the nipple thing. But I mean It does really bug me how mothers are treated in general by the public.

    • Yes. People are quick to judge mothers. It’s sad.

  • hi_it_is_me123
    Breasts are secondary sexual traits and so are male breast hair, beard etc. Breasts are for babys and not for perverted men. Just because you can't control your urges, a baby should not starve because of your stupidity.
    Any bastard who have problem with public breastfeeding, should not look at it or we should force to cover their beard etc.
    • Agreed. They are literally mammary glands designed to feed our young.

    • I really dont understand why some people think female breasts are sexual organs. This is scientificically and biologically false.

    • Yet they seem to want to argue this misguided stance to death. Ugggghhhh

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  • bolverk
    I never would disapprove of a woman feeding her child,
    The only reason why there are both men and women disapprove of a woman feeding her child is that they were bottle fed along with their siblings and they never learned about breast feeding at home and they only see breasts in a sexual connotations, In my family breast feeding is common and it is not seen as anything out of the ordinary.
    • Yes. Very true. It’s sad. Mammary glands we designed to feed our young. How did so many get so far removed from that?

  • NightOwl8801
    Aww... tiny little fella , cute too.
    Just because you have your teet out feeding your baby and taking care of him doesn't mean people should shame you or harass you for it.
    My God just the women have time alone to feed and take care of the little one (s) , if I see a mother breastfeeding she deserves to be left alone and if she isn't left alone and I see someone bothering them I'd make sure they're left alone
    • Thank you! For the kind words and support! 🥰

    • You're more than welcome friend

    • I think breast feeding is beautiful not enough women make or priority or we would see it much more. Breast milk is best for the baby. Keep them Strong healthy and smart.

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  • DonkeyDan
    I've honestly never understood why people have such a problem with breastfeeding. It must have been a hard enough time time you let alone have others judgements and condemnation on you as well.
    Since I've been on here I've been surprised at a lot of people's views and dislikes, I guess most of the people I know are quite open minded.
  • Waldoe
    Like most Mom's you wanted only the BEST for you baby, you tried like hell and is all anyone can do... You did not fail, you did the right things... BRAVO... sometimes some women have more problems than others... God Bless
  • Apple1996
    It is terrible that so many people hate on mothers breastfeeding. It is already enough of a struggle but rude people adding what they think makes it worse. Especially when it's the first baby. They tend to be the hardest to breastfeed. My first time was similar to yours, I didn't have my golden hour with him and he had a terrible latch due to a tongue tie. I ended up exclusively pumping for 6 months and even then I got hate from my family and doctors for "wasting my time pumping". I've learned it better off not to share with others how I feed my babies cause they're most likely gonna judge anyway that I choose to feed them.
    • Ughhhhh “waisting your time pumping” ? That is so wrong of them.

  • kyleelyn199723
    Well one I am so sorry you had to go through this and I know it’s heart breaking. I have no problem with mother’s breastfeeding in general. I think everyone is entitled to feed and nurture their baby. The only problem I have in general is people doing it at restaurants without some sort of blanket over their baby. Again no disrespect against any breastfeeding mother, I just feel like sometimes both parties need to feel comfortable. I can understand the discomfort of a male server just trying to do his job and being uncomfortable
    • @kyleelyn199723 I 100% respect and understand and have held your opinion.

      My younger son RIPPED the blanket off. He felt hot. He didn’t understand why he needed to be under a blanket. It was so distressing to him and me tbh.

      All this to say, covering with a blanket is not always a viable option.

    • Why would be be uncomfortable for? What would a male server be so insecure about?

    • @love2learn understandable, I think some people just need to understand BOTH sides.

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  • Cnlngler
    I understand how difficult it must be and unfortunately my wife was denied that special bond a mother can have with his child. She did not give any breast milk so we had to use formula. But I don't mind when a mother breast feeds a child it is a part of being human but its not easy for people to understand that its natural and it has to be done.
    • That happens sometimes! In some cases formula is the best option. Thank you for the support!

  • jennifer_bloom
    It’s good those issues were resolved and you are so brave for your tireless dedication to that baby and your child is adorable!
    • Thank you so much! I do not regret it one bit. Worth it.

  • EmbraceThePain
    Didn’t read through that essay


    Yes, breastfeeding can be important


    I don’t judge
    • 😂😂😂😂😂😂 ok. Thanks for the support

  • matchrestore
    I sincerely hope that the fact that one of your breastfeeding posts was taken down was not that some moderator or admin didn't like the content.
    • I hope so too. They were not duplicates. Both were well thought out.

  • MrOracle
    I've never understood the objection, except for the few mothers who have absolutely zero decorum. This is the most natural and normal thing, so the fact that some people are so offended tells us how screwed up some people's thinking really is.
  • CharlyQuinn_
    I would always get weird looks when i would breastfeed.
  • RolandCuthbert
    Well, this is the forum for hate. So you might be in the wrong place looking for support.

    I am in no position to judge you. I don't understand the whole feminism thing. Do you.

    Good luck to you, your husband and your son.
  • elizamichale1
    You described it very well honey and right on spot i would say
    I hope it helps people changing their opinion
  • t-8900
    First off let me say it's heartbreaking to hear about not being able to bond with your baby after birth. Skinship is very important and what they did was wrong and lacked empathy. The most beautiful thing in the world is a mother with her newborn in her arms. I have never and will never shame a woman from breastfeeding and anyone who does is an absolute prick. A baby should get the best nourishment possible and mother and baby should bget all the bonding they can get. Bad enough we all work full time and don't get much time with our families as it is! Breast feeding mom's are champions and I praise each and every one of them for giving their all for their beautiful babies! I love you for this post! 👍
    • This is lovely! Thank you for your understanding and support! 🥰

    • t-8900

      Keep being a champion mom! You are an inspiration!

    • You are so kind! Thank you!

  • Ad_Quid_Orator
    While breasts may have evolved to be secondary sexual characteristics in humans we shouldn't let that blind us to the fact that their primary purpose is to feed their young.
    • Indeed. They are mammary glands after all.

  • BennyClark
    People need to pull their heads out of their own arse. Its a boob or nipple everyone has one. Mothers should not be ashamed about their bodies or feeding their child.
  • exitseven
    This was one of the most touching accounts of breastfeeding I have ever heard of, then you put that picture at the end. Very nice.
  • dreamstar72
    My wife wanted to breastfeed and she did. Oh guess what else my wife did 80 percent of the time she used cloth diapers for like 14 months.
    • That’s great! I know cloth diapering is very important to some parents. Good for her.

  • FunkyMonkee
    I don't hate ON anything! I have no clue HOW to hate ON anything!
    As you should know, I have no issue at all with breastfeeding. Why is it okay to see other mammals do it but not our own kind?
    Even stranger: why is it okay for a girl to whip `em out on a beach or at a party just to let people look at them but it's obscene and disgusting to use them for one the main reasons they're there?
  • Agape93
    I'll never understand why this is an issue. It's a tit, she's not pegging Simon on the bus.
    • 😂😂😂😂😂 Simon.

      Thank you for your support.

  • Andres77
    It's odd that caring for ones own child is so controversial
    • It is odd. But it is reality. It has been 2 years since I breastfed a child and I am still recovering from the hate I received.

    • Andres77

      Really?
      In that city?

    • Yuuuup. Received hate from my husband, my in-laws, strangers. Treacherous.

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  • karaspara
    I've never understood why anyone has a issue with mothers breastfeeding it's ridiculous sweetheart
  • Dragonpurple
    My daughter as a newborn the first year, would throw the blankets off, didn't like how hot it was.

    I have no issues with breastfeeding mothers in public, not sure why so many people have to sexualize something that all mammals do.

    So what if you see a nipple, I see them on men all the time and no one freaks out and they are useless on men, no purpose.

    People need to chill, at least things are getting more understanding. My work in the office has a mothers rooms where mothers can go use breast pumps throughout the workday in private.
    • Precisely! I had that same experience. I’ve got a guy 50 comments in still arguing the need to cover with a blanket. Ughhhh. His argument is disturbingly similar to the “she deserved to be raped because of what she was wearing” argument.

      Apparently if I breastfeed uncovered it is partly my fault if I get groped? Excuse me? Lol

    • Thank you for the support @Dragonpurple :)

  • MrSwisher
    better to have babies being breast fed instead of having chemical laced baby formula. I will never say anything to a mother whose doing that.
    • I agree. I know formula has its place to a point and I won’t judge but I ask those folks don’t judge me either.

    • MrSwisher

      totally, people should mind their business with that kind of thing.

    • Yes they should. It is really annoying when they insert themselves where they don’t belong.

  • ToastyOats
    I love babies. Not breast feeding would be a deal breaker for me. I want muh Momma and our kids Strong!😉
  • Justneedtokno
    I think it’s a beautiful thing in one day hope to do it in the future
    • I hope you do to! It is an amazing experience. My best advice is the first 6 weeks are the hardest. After that is smooth sailing. And never quit on your worst day. 👺❤️

    • 😂😂😂😂😂 sorry about the ugly mask. I sausage fingered it.

    • lol 😆 it’s all good a thank you 😊

  • Hanmakevi
    Okay but they should bring some for the whole class ya know why does little baby son of a bitch gets to hog those fun bags
  • DarkCarousel
    I was very private in breastfeeding and it was a huge struggle. I am supportive of mothers who nurse their babies in public. This is a natural thing.
  • aquamarine321
    Congrats 🎉 for your Sagittarius son, you have an angel
    • Yes indeed. Thank you. He is so precious to me.

  • Aiko_E_Lara
    It's not about the breastfeeding but it's about the boobs. That's like one of those victim cards pulled like bringing up race, gender, ethnicity or etc. when you're told something not to do. The point is it has nothing to do with that just like nothing to do with breast feeding but people are more like telling you to take precautions because your boobs are exposed. It's not because you're breast feeding. This is exactly why everyone put clothes on. You don't see girls normally walking around with their boobs outside their shirt collar because they are sexual organs and it turn on guys. Even if guys don't do anything, they get the urge but of course you'd just call them creeps for something natural for them. Here's a fact, women gets aroused when they breast feed but no one would consider them freaks for that even if it's natural. So yes it's only natural if guys gets aroused by it as well if you're fine with breast feeding in public, you don't have to complain if anyone looks at it.
    • feminists act as if people are against feeding babies

    • I am not a feminist and it does feel as if people are against feeding babies sometimes.

    • Maybe if you interpret things a little better, it wouldn't feel that way. Why would people be against breastfeeding alone when that's a necessary when it comes to raising a new life? I don't know why you just refuse to think "maybe it's because my boobs are exposed" which is a no brainer.

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  • astep
    Brestfeeding is so natural. I dont understand what people see wrong in it.
    • Yes it is. I don’t either. Caused a lot of strife in my life.

  • Wiredone
    There's nothing wrong with a woman breastfeeding. The baby has to eat too. It's perfectly natural
    • Indeed. And being told to go to the bathroom is so offensive. Who wants to eat in the bathroom?

    • what about just sit home and breastfeed the child?

    • Wiredone

      @Милашка why should mother and child be stuck home. What if she was a single parent? She would need to do her shopping and whatnot. You can only depend on yourself to get what you need. She has a child, not a disease.

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  • CubaPirate
    Please feel free to go ahead. Just show an element of discretion and an awareness of your surroundings. After all it totally natural.
    • I just want to point out, not all babies will eat under blankets so that is not always an option. As far as discretion to surroundings, baby has to eat. Wherever we happen to be. 🤷🏻‍♀️

    • I know this but don't be ab exhibitionist lol

    • I never was. Just fed my baby and minded my own business.

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