Let's Get to Know People Before Making Rash Judgements

Let's get to know people before making rash judgements

I've been single since New Years (nine month relationship). Since I've on out on the open market again it's time again for me to analyze people and have people analyze myself when it comes to dating. It kind of sucks, but it's all part of the game. Whether its a hook up or a future marriage people have to make a decision whether to accept or reject the other person.

When I was younger I was guilty of making rash judgements about girls (for sometimes really stupid reasons). I remember there was a cute girl I liked in one of my business classes. However one day she walked in with a longboard skateboard. She also had her dyed slightly blue. Despite being very cute and perky (and always smiling at me) I automatically decided I wasn't going to pursue her anymore. I judged her to be some punk/hipster chic that I wouldn't get along with. That may or may have not been true of her. But I would never know because I didn't take the initiative to get to know her better. We might have clicked in other ways that were more important. I completely missed that opportunity although I found her attractive and she was sending me good signals. However since I've gotten older I've tried to look deeper into people.

Stephen Covey (the famous author of the "seven habits of highly effective people") once quoted "seek to first to understand then to be understood". There is also a famous scripture in Matthew 7:2 that paraphrases "those who judge, will be judged".

Now I don't want to go down the slipperly slope talking about philosophy and faith. I know there are both Christians and Atheists on here. But there is some truth about it. People who have piss poor attitudes will attract like people. People who lake perspective will make stupid judgements and end up with the wrong person or losing out the opportunity with the right one.

One big issue that I see predominating many dating females nowadays is issues about politics. I see women putting in comments like "If voted for Trump swipe to left" and "conservatives beat it". Truth is I don't like Trump either (he's already done some things to hurt my business) however I liked Hillary Clinton even less. From my vantage point I basically choose the lesser of two evils. But to go as far as assuming I'm a "neo nazi" and completely undatable for my voting decision is absolutely insane.

Also I've recently excelled in my career (making six digits now). I have been telling women that I am successful in my career and now own a house. However that sure as hell doesn't mean I ready to be somebody's sugar daddy or safety net. Unfortunately I noticed that some women are coming after me only for that. They don't know I have a bad boy side as well (former pro fighter). I personally like to help people help themselves. I'll help girls find better prospects for work or a better life, but I refuse to enable anybody. I'm certainly not some boring milk toast white collar guy that has to bribe women with fancy dinners/entertainment for sex. Some successful yet lonely guys with money will do this. That will never be me. I don't want to control anybody or use me for money. Unfortunately girls are making the wrong judgements and decisions about me now.

Anyway thoughts and issues aside, if you find someone at least semi attractive on a date try to get to know them. They might have different perspective than you, but that doesn't mean they hate or they won't make a good partner. Ask questions, get in debates...try to see THEIR side. People will surprise you occasionally. They might make a mistake or two but focus on the fundamental rights and wrongs. Perception is not always reality.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Yes people tend to judge quickly, not good


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