Honesty Before Anything Else When Meeting Someone New

Honesty Before Anything Else When Meeting Someone New

I met this guy a few months ago, and we clicked right away. He is very handsome, charming, intelligent...The list could go on and on. So naturally I kept wondering if he had a girlfriend of some sort. But never showed any signs of it, and when I finally had the courage to ask him, I finally got the relief I was hoping for. He was single. From this point on, we would spend every waking moment either speaking on the phone or hanging out together.

One night, we kind of got into an argument, nothing serious, but enough for my ego to say: No more. So I stopped all communications with him. I know, it was quite childish, but I'm still learning from my mistakes. Not surprisingly at all, he kept trying to go back to how we were before. So I decided to give him a second chance, and accompany him to a friends party as his "Date" which for me was a big deal. Needless no say, it was a magical night, and I was so glad I had given him another chance.

A couple days later, he asked me if we could meet again, and foolishly of me, I thought he just missed me, so we met at a cafe near my home. We were there a couple hours, acting like two loving birds who are all over each other. That was of course until he revealed he was "kinda seeing someone else, but liked both of us and it was complicated with her". I went from "soon to be something else" to "the other women" in a matter of seconds. Let me make him arguments clear. They are bullshit. And I confronted him directly about lying to my face.

Honesty Before Anything Else When Meeting Someone New

As any good lawyer, he tried to rescue the situation by saying I had only asked about "girlfriends" not friends-whom-he-fucks. Astonishing.

I'll just say, first of all, don't ever ignore red flags or what your instinct is trying to tell you. And secondly, always be honest with your intentions, as who knows, you both might only want to have a nice time, but at least you're both on the same page.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree, honesty from the start avoids drama. Like I never have a girl having to "confront" me about anything.

    The way I see it if a chick doesn't want to be my side chick, she'll leave me a lone and make room for a chick that doesn't mind being my side chick (usually because I'm the other man). But if I hide the fact that she's only my second helping just to get laid and she's expecting to cut off other options and be with only me... hell yeah she deserves to be pissed about that. That's not fair to her and maybe she wanted more than some good dick that won't get too attached... maybe she wanted a guy to be attached to her and show her more attention.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The issue for me would be that he said he was seeing someone else, not that he on occation hooked up with someone.

    I’m pretty free minded on the area, but fuck buddy and it is complicated is Imho two very different things. One I could tolerate having been there, the other not

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What Guys Said 3

  • No, no, no...

    Honesty is reserved for those one can trust.

    My policy is that I quickly decide whether a potential date is a keeper or a throwaway. If she is a keeper, then I am 100% honest. If she is a throwaway, then I don't tell her my last name, where I live, or enough information to figure out who I am.

    And by trust, that means being trusted with the truth. Many (most?) women cannot be trusted with the truth. Fortunately, I have been able to find some that can be.

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  • people are not attempting to have monogamous relationships and for me, thats killing the people that're really trying hard to find someone with whom is.. I. E. me!

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  • Ah, to be so naive again... :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • Thank you for making this mytake but, this experience is just common sense. Perfect situations like that must be taken apart and dissected before the final conclusion. Not every person you meet is an angel, and not every person is a devil.

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  • The decisions he or she made in his or her life will reflect later on. It’s something you are in control and if the other person does not agree with it then they should find someone els that’s more suited for their beliefs.

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