Society & Politics

Politics at a Glance!

Its been a while since I posted any of my "enlightening" myTakes. So here I present to you Society, Politics and the Worldwide Affairs:

Politics at a glance!

COMMUNISM

You have two cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk

SOCIALISM

You have two cows.

You give one to your neighbour

FASCISM

You have two cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk

BUREAUCRATISM

You have two cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

DEMOCRATIC SOCIALISM

You have two cows.

You pay your taxes.

You now have free healthcare and free college and a government that isn't owned by billionaires

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows,

but you do not know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.

A BULGARIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You force both of them to work abroad as a horse

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

AN American CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows.

None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.

A DUTCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

They refuse to get milked.

They come forward and declare they are gay.

You take them to coffee shop and smoke a joint together. Peace, cow!

AN IRISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

One of them is a horse.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You worship them.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.

You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

A TURKISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

The government gives you another one and you pay no taxes because you openly support their party.

Then overnight they declare you and all your friends traitors, jail you, kill the cows, make milk illegal and ban twitter.

Everybody wonders why eggs are hard to find and they all unite against dinosaurs.

A British CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Both are mad.

ROMANIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

A gypsy steals both of them.

A GREEK CORPORATION

You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.

You eat both of them.

The bank calls to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.

The IMF loans you two cows.

You eat both of them.

The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.

You are out getting a haircut.

FINALLY THE JOKE IS INCOMPLETE WITHOUT THIS

FEMINISM

You have two cows.

They didn't tech you how to feed them in gender studies.

Both cows die.

Men have more cows.

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As always, I do not mean to offend anyone with this myTake

It's only for fun.

I do NOT own credits to the joke - it's from Newstalk ZB

Politics at a Glance!
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