A brand new start, a brand new me

There it is again.

That everlasting thought nagging on the inside of my head. Buzzing and squirming its way out of the enclosed space called my brain into reality.

It makes me yearn for the possibility’s my life withholds but also terrified for the consequences. Therefore I hardly dare to say it out loud.

I want to leave this place and start over. Making new memories that aren't connected to the previous ones, just a brand new start!

Like the smell of a new book or diving into the ocean on a hot summers day, see snow fall and drink hot Chocó (with lots of whipped cream of course) . I want to burst out and rediscover this world, rediscover myself.

Because I, and without a doubt many of you too, get the feeling that there is just so much more out there than what meets the eye. I’m tired of everything and everyone surrounding me, and god I just wish I could be a brand new me.

I’m tired of being suggested into directions of my life I’d rather not go. And I know I’m not going to force myself to be something I don’t want to be, I’m fairly independent you see. But it’s rather the problem of money and responsibility’s I have that keep me secured to this spot in society.

And generally I’m okay with the situation as it is because I know it’s temporary however at times where I’m conflicted about what I want in combination with failure and having little sleep, I can’t help but questioning and wondering what I’m still doing here.

Don’t we all want happiness? So at the end you can look back without little to no regret and just smile for all the stupid but fun shit you did. Well that’s how I want to go. It just seems to be taking so long before I’m am where I want to be and there is still so much I need to do.

Don’t you ever want to run away? To a place where no one knows who you are, and just cut all contact with everyone you have ever known. To be able to choose who you are and not let anyone else nor your past try to define you. Seems like a wonderful place to me.