Society & Politics

I'm obsessed with boys. Something I wanna get off my chest.

I'm 17. I'm Middle Eastern and I live in a European country. I'm beautiful, lovable, funny, cute and don't have a problem in getting attention from any guy. But I hate myself. I hate my personality. I hate the way I am. I hate the way I think.


I have a problem. You might laugh, you might call me silly, because it does seem stupid but it's true. It's more the true. And I'm not exaggerating when I say that I can't get boys off my head. I pay TOO MUCH attention to how I look, how I'm seen through their eyes, whether they find me attractive, if I caught their attention... And I can't stop thinking about them whenever I'm outside. Whether I'm on my way to school or home, whether I'm in the subway or the bus or the mall or even the supermarket..wherever I am, I just can't stop thinking about them.


Something I wanna get off my chest.



All that goes through my mind is : BOYS, BOYS, BOYS and BOYS.


I'm literally obsessed with boys. My mom has told me this before - the fact that whenever I see a cute guy I melt - my elder sister knows this, and my younger sister, well, I sometimes feel she thinks I'm a disappointment. And that she would never look up to me. Whenever this discussion is opened by my mom or sister, I never accept this fact. I never agreed to it. But now, that I took time to think about it, I've realised that they are right. They are 100 % right. And apparently they know me better than I knew myself.


They sometimes distract me. Heck, they always distract me. Especially from my studying. I sometimes get facebook requests from strangers or messages. I always get blinded by their looks. I always text them back and start a conversation till several days pass and I get obsessed with them. This thing has got me into trouble. My mom once found out I was talking to this guy who apparently was using me to get another girl's number. As usual, I got blinded by his green eyes and muscular body. This is what lead to my sister's disappointment in me. And she right. This experience has been the worst, which made me learn a valuable lesson:


TO GET OVER GUYS. This thing is getting me into trouble and I'm scared of what might happen next. I don't want anything worse happening. Thats why I NEED to change.



I'm trying to change. I WANT TO CHANGE.


I've always been the girl who's 'easy to get'. I've always been flattered by the compliments I receive from guys. And that happens a lot. It's always obvious when I like someone. Not only to my family but also to the WHOLE school. I keep smiling, flirting, without putting any limits between me and the guy. I HATE THIS ABOUT ME.



I'm disgusted by myself. I hate myself. I hate my personality. I don't wanna be like this. I don't wanna be the girl who's easy to get. I don't wanna be the girl with the pretty face who guys can simply go to, compliment, flirt with easily and so on..



I wanna be proud of myself. I want my parents to trust that I'm a strong girl. That I know what I want. That I know what's best for me. A girl who is always respected.


I want my younger sister to see me as someone she could look up to. I wanna be an example for her. I wanna be STRONG and INDEPENDENT.


I wanna show everyone, especially the guys I know or will know that I'm not this kinda girl. I want limits to put between us. I don't want to give them the idea that they can open any subject they want with me, no matter how perversive it is. I wanna show them and make them know I'm a serious person. That I don't accept the fact that I can be treated however they want.


That's all I wanted to say. I'm very grateful to whoever read this. Thank you guys for putting up with these kind of posts. I appreciate it!


I'm obsessed with boys. Something I wanna get off my chest.


A final message to all the teenage girls: RESPECT YOURSELF IF YOU WANT OTHERS TO RESPECT YOU. And trust me, you want that.

I'm obsessed with boys. Something I wanna get off my chest.
Post Opinion