Why do people treat quiet people so badly?

Question

Like just today a lady said I'm on creep status because they can't tell when I walk in or leave and that I look overly cautious. I'm just not a vocal person unless I know you, can't help it. Why do people feel so uneasy around shy or quiet people. We're cool people once you get to know us. I have friends who can attest to that claim.

emmabee11 · Accepted Answer

They are just very small minded, i get the same... i'm treated like i'm stupid, suspicious and like there is something wrong with me, most people these days think they have to constantly be talking to people just to not be seen as a "loner", when quiet people like us walk in they are just intimidated by us because we don't feel we have to always have the company of others to have a good time they are just jealous... we don't feel we need to constanty seek the justification of others to love ourselves like most do. Society makes people like us out to be like were mentality unstable, i think it's because they have been taught to constantly try and control their surroundings that when they meet someone like us they can't predict what were going to do or say so that makes them uneasy but they have a serious problem by trying to control everything all the time... you just can't do that some things can't akways be controlled and what about doing something spontanious and out of control for once in their lives? these people don't live at all. Then they complain about the opposite sex being too predictable and boring *sigh* lol they make each other predictable and boring by not allowing themselves to come out of their comfort zone. I personally hate it when people try to control where i go, what i do, what i say etc... and they hate not knowing... so of course we make them uneasy but it's no reason to be so nasty to us i know...

Johannaxo · Accepted Answer

Maybe you could have lightened the mood when the girl called you a creep (for creeping up on her lol) by laughing and saying you didn't mean to scare her? Lol or even just say boo! Lol corny yess but it works to lighten the mood, trust me.

People are standoffish towards quiet people because quiet people can come off as standoffish. Makes sense right?

Also some people don't like quiet people because they feel like you don't talk to them because you don't like them for no reason. Maybe even seem like you're scared of them o something, for no reason. To yourself, you are just being quiet/shy but to others, it can come off as rude and being unfriendly.

You don't have to be the life of the party or anything but if you want to be received by others, try to be more friendly. Smile at others at least... laugh a little if they're making a joke. Little things add up.

If it takes you a while to warm up to people that's ok but give other people a reason to want to get to know you better as well. It's not a one way street.

Some people are just rude in general. Some people just have a way of joking that can seem rude if you're really sensitive.

Anyways you can do whatever you want, be shy or not shy. Just try to be more open and friendly if you want people to like you. And if people are assholes well F them.

udolipixie · Accepted Answer

Why do people treat quiet people so badly?
This is a bit off to me as I haven't seen it be the general consensus for quiet people to be treated so badly. Though possible the reason is often times when there are serial killings and rapes people stated the perpetrator was such a quiet person.

Why do people feel so uneasy around shy or quiet people?
Silence seems to be foreboding and unnerving as most environments have some sense of sound suggesting life. So this notion may be projected on quiet people thus they're seen as unusual foreboding danger.

"We're cool people once you get to know us. I have friends who can attest to that claim."
Some quiet people are cool no different than other types of people. I wouldn't go as far as the collective considering most of the bitter resentful misogynist guys I've seen are quiet shy guys

Roarke · Accepted Answer

It's simple. People want to categorize people instantly, either in general or by situation. People who try to live a thoroughly 'conventional' life are the very worst at this. They seek only to judge. If you walk in quietly and it disturbs them, it's purely a matter of you having delayed this process. By the way, impatience is very much a part of this 'conventional' social group; ironically it has also been included by sociologists under the definition of 'low class".
The other reason is that people are addicted to paranoia. And i mean people of all ages. They just want to believe some predator is right around the corner waiting to whisk them away to oblivion, or at the very least rape them. From the sounds of it, you're probably not old enough to remember the mass hysteria over, and the exaggerated reactions to communism, organized crime, and AIDS. People just dig getting the shivers, even when, as in your case, there is no provocation.
And finally, if on top of being shy and quiet you are also cooperative and accommodating, you may as well paint a target on your back. 'Normal' people, being judgmental, are also bullies. Bullies attack vulnerability and are usually stymied only when they encounter a bigger bully.

Shpongolia · Accepted Answer

Being quiet isn't a problem. You're probably doing something else wrong that gives off weird vibes to other people.

For example, my brother is dating a girl who is the shyest and quietest person ever. But she never says hello when you greet her, she flexes her lip muscles shut as to make sure not to make any sounds, she walks on her tip toes whenever indoors, and she walks with a weird posture. Whenever someone tries to talk to her, she looks like a deer in the headlights. This girl gives me the creeps.

I'm not saying you're like her. But there is probably something non verbal about you that you can evaluate yourself on.

LunaReyes · Answer

People can perceive what they don't immediately know or understand as threatening or off-putting. It is easier (and quicker) to judge or label someone than it is to actually take the time to get to know them. ( And a lot of people don't care to invest that kind of effort).

(But really, who needs people that narrow-minded or judgmental in their lives anyway?) I wouldn't concern yourself with it too much. People will always think whatever they want to think (regardless of how accurate it actually is).

Yellowbone · Answer

I'm quiet too but honestly quiet people can give off a "suspicious" vibe. Like we're plotting something. I've heard over the years that people fear the unknown & when you don't make it clear as to what your intentions are, even in day-to-day life, it freaks people out because they can't figure you out.

MattSX · Answer

Agree. I was a really shy guy when I was younger. Things are very different now, Thank God, cuz being shy can make ya miss lots of opportunities in life. sometimes people are actually rough with shy persons, and for that people, well, let them be. won't change their mind anyways, but ya can change your own way to be
All luck

OrangeFire22 · Answer

I know I'm rather quiet (until I know you) And small. So people call me "Sweetie" and treat me like I'm five when I don't talk much. Sometimes I want to jump on them and scream. "I'm not 5! If you want to find someone who is: Go to the pre-school." These kids can't be more then a tear or two older then me. XD

still_waiting · Answer

I have no idea. I'm really quiet in big groups so in class I only talk to those I know pretty well and a lot of the girls say they don't like me because I'm a bitch, presumably because I just never open my mouth.

I have no idea why quiet people get treated like that. Its like people make assumptions about you based on what you don't say?

Anonymous · Answer

Most people think still waters run deep when they look at me... They're always trying to unravel the mystery. I suppose it comes down to your confidence level. I'm very confident and magnetic, yet quiet. People tend to treat me well. You probably lack confidence, that they see you as weak and try to push you down because they're petty and it makes them feel better because they're fucked in the head.

Anonymous · Answer

I personally have not encountered strangers or almost strangers approaching others and telling them "you are now on creeper status" or "you look overly cautious". I don't feel uneasy around shy or quiet people unless they are shifty eyed and stare at you when you are not looking or something.

basketballchick · Answer

i think the reason that they avoid you's or hink you's are creeps is because they feel like they're are being judged that happens with me all the time, they seem like the calculating type and that worries people

Monsieur_Gamma · Answer

They're mean to them because they're easy targets. Someone who is quiet generally has a lot of insecurities, insecurities bullies can easily find out.

Cleveland · Answer

I don't... That's terrible and if I notice it happening I say something.

Anonymous · Answer

Because they are very simple minded. There are some people who need to be loud, or the center of attention & if you're not irritating like them, you have a problem.

Anonymous · Answer

Because there's dumb people. Maybe these girls long for attention and they feel you are noy giving them that

Lance1965 · Answer

I was told once that you shouldn't trust quiet people because you never know what they are thinking. They think you must be up to something or maybe you just don't like them. I know, it is stupid.

shyboys1992 · Answer

People are always fear what they don't understand especially shy people

sweetestdreams · Answer

They don't unless you give a creepy vibe

Anonymous · Answer

Are you black?

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