Help? Friend's ex boyfriend may be subtly hitting on me…?

[Anonymous]

So my friend (we used to be really good friends but aren't close anymore) had a boyfriend. Let me tell you about them - they're both very christian, and very innocent. So he's not a player or anything. He broke up with her a few weeks ago. Now while they were in a relationship he sent me a few instagram DM's just the super basic things, because he's very friendly and kind of friends with everyone. So he DM'd me just small talk because my friend and I were best friends. So after about a month, today he DM'd me and then asked for my number… so I was kind of like "okay…" and then small talk again and then he asked if I was still friends with my friend, and then he told me he broke up with her… so I said sorry and asked why and that's not important. And then he asked if we could eat together and there began the awkwardness, because I'm not very good at saying "well no" I kind of beat around the bush until it gets awkward. He said he wanted to get to know me better and I don't know if he means in the "I like you" way or the friend way… but I'm just not interested in him that way. And I would never date him because my friend did and he's just not my type… He's really really nice though so I don't want to be like "NO". In the end I kind of got to the point, I just don't like sitting with a lot of people at lunch. I only sit with one friend (this is mostly because of my social anxiety and paranoia) and yeah. But I'm not sure how to deal with if he might like me? He may just be being nice because that's how he is but I had a bad experience last year with a guy who wouldn't take no for an answer which ended in a very awkward rejection, and I DO NOT want that to happen again. Then again, this guy is nicer and I think he's just being friendly. Ugh I don't know, I'm not good at dealing with guys… Help? haha

[Anonymous]

Girl, it looks like you tore off 10 pages of my diary... or my clone wrote this, because I have all of the same problems.( Except the friend's ex liking me.) I can help you?

If I were you, I'd probably go for it (being friends) It never hurts. I understand with the "beat around the bush thing,"You don't want to seem mean.. and you may be a people pleaser. It's not bad, you're just considerate, but there will ALWAYS be a time in your life that you have to be blunt. It always eventually gets to that point. Just be friends, he may just want friendship. If he flirts don't flirt back, don't show interest. If you know that he likes him tell him nicely,"hey,(his name) You're a really sweet guy, but I couldn't betray,(friends name). I hope we can still be friends"Or something along those lines could help. He'd understand, because if he's a sweet person, he'd respect your decision, and not be pushy.

[Asker]

Yeah, thank god he's not the pushy type. I'll probably just be friends, I'm just worried that I'll flirt without knowing it - I laugh and smile a lot and I'm worried some guys might see that as a sign I like them… And I definitely am a people pleaser, my social anxiety is a huuuuge part of that.
I know. And I had to do that with the last guy, and it was very uncomfortable.
I'll assume he just wants a friendship. But if we start hanging out word will get around… and that will be very uncomfortable for my friend and I...