Why are American women so unfriendly and cold?

Question

I am European and married to an American man. I've been living in the States for over 15 years, and still find it hard to make female friends. I have no problem making male friends as American men seem more approachable and friendlier. Please don't tell me that I am doing something wrong or am snooty because I am not. I have female friends from all over the world except in the US. I have a Facebook account and my friends are mostly males. The female ones who friend requested me, never post on my wall and/or like any of my posts (they are not offensive). The women all seem to be very cliquish and don't want to bother with a non real  English  speaker. I give up on women in this country. I am not ugly, mean or anything in that nature. I even had some women blocking me on FB without knowing me, which makes me think that they must be talking behind my back. What gives?

BuchitaBuchys · Accepted Answer

Hmmmm. Well I don't know. It may just be your personal experience, but your generalization may hold slight truth. It depends where you are. In some places, foreigners aren't exactly welcomed in the US. And some they are.
FYI. Facebook is a horrible place for "friends" lol A lot of people just cause drama and post dumb things. Don't take them seriously.

I am not foreign born, but I was raised with I guess "foreign" culture. So when I went to white school, the people made fun of me for not knowing English well. It's all good though. It's just dumb children. People always pick on the "different" one. The mass does at least. There were few nice ones who tried their best to understand my accent and befriend me. I don't know. It kinda depends on the people you're around.

I also kinda notice that like US culture is more about "personal space". So at times, they can be distant. In Latin America culture, people are more touchy and physical, though not necessarily in a sexual sense. Like when a girl is pregnant, it's seen as rude by some US Americans to rub their stomachs, especially strangers. But Latinos don't see that as rude, it's because we have the "it takes a village" mindset and we all like to "connect" with people. Part of connections with others are physical contact. And it's cute to feel a pregnant belly with the baby moving around. And we don't even mind if a person we never met says "Aww you're pregnant? How cute, can I feel your belly?" Though I've noticed US Americans get somewhat bothered and feel uneasy about this.

So maybe it's just a culture shock to you. Or they might the overly friendliness or "closeness" as a culture shock to them.

xHoneyxBeex · Accepted Answer

I don't know, I think I'm a pretty friendly person but America is an extremely large country, you obviously haven't met even a majority of the women here. Some people, in general, are just rude and stuck-up and that goes for people in all countries. I have met several foreign women who thought they were better than me, but I wouldn't generalize all women from their country.

There was a transfer student in my high school who was from the Czech Republic, she was the most stuck-up person I have ever met. I would say "hello" and try to befriend her because I figured it must be hard to be in a new school in a completely different country but she would always just ignore me or say rude things to me so I eventually stopped trying. But of course, I'm intelligent enough to realize that not everyone from the Czech Republic is like that, that would be silly to assume.

I'm not saying your claims are baseless, perhaps it is true from your personal experience, I just feel like you shouldn't judge an entire population of people based on the actions of some. Although, I do apologize for the fact that you have had such bad experiences, but not all of us are like that. Perhaps the ones who treated you poorly were insecure with themselves, felt jealous, or are just mean, hateful people in general.

nemer26 · Accepted Answer

Women can be very cliquish and competitive. Since you're European, they may be threatened or intimidated by you. It's unfortunate, I have a variety of friends and always try to get to know someone.

JohnScofield787 · Accepted Answer

I am sorry that is happening to you... I have spent a long time traveling around the world and have lies a lot of places in my time (UK, France, Germany, Middle East, others) and do somewhat know what you are talking about.

I think that with American women it is not your accent or where you are from most likely. It is one of a couple of things: 1) Americans can be very casual with their words so they can say "Let's meet for lunch" and then never really do it. They aren't trying to be rude, but it is a polite thing to do, even if it never happens (Yes men can do it too and yes it is stupid). 2) sometimes American women can get very jealous and if they perceive you a threat to their husbands (even if you are not) they might very well push you out 3) America is so big and many American have a very small view of the world unfortunately, and it could be that you are just very exotic to them and perhaps even intimidating.

I don't know if that helps, but it might bring a little understanding.

traxlem · Accepted Answer

SOME women are pretty self consumed and are more focused on what benefit them or are always in a state of competition with others. I live in FL and most women here are pretty arrogant self absorbed, and even the Female friends they do have is more of a cattyness abrasive relationship, its really inexplicable. I think its because the image that the media gives of women makes them believe that other women are out to get them or jealous of them, I don't know women are for the most part a mystery lol

Anonymous · Answer

Not all of them are that way but what I've learned from an aquaintence from Africa in college is that when women in other countries like a guy, they're straightforward. In America, a girl might play head games or lead them on.

It really sucks being at this age and having to play games in order to get women. I envy people who are in a stable relationship and don't have to worry about that. Its like if I like a girl and she shows interest, I gotta make myself a challenge on purpose to avoid being seen as clingy.

abundantlyrich · Answer

Are you talking about white Americans? Considering your age and your origins, i would say it's emotional jealousy. If I'm wrong, i think again its a female behaviour issue. Most are standoffish and will only be friends if they get something out of you?

Outofthegrey · Answer

Because the only person anyone cares about anymore is themselves. People these days have stopped caring about anything other than what benefits them, and being a massive asshole isn't seen as rude because it doesn't offend them, and they're the most important person in the world.

cheeseysouffle · Answer

I don't know. I was going to say you're hanging around the wrong type of people but they're aren't a lot of people who are genuinely nice. It's a bunch of games that you have to play with people. It's just sort of an American thing.

latina28 · Answer

Not all American women are like this. The women you are encountering might just be jealous of you but that doesn't mean all are the same. I do agree however that there are many women in the U. S. who seem arrogant, cold, and mean but you'll find people like this everywhere. If you're open and nice then I'm sure you'll find women whom like you very much sooner than later. :)

linkywinky · Answer

I think I'm pretty dang warm and cuddly  But I do understand, I definitely am surrounded by guy friends more than I am women. Not sure why, guys have always just been easier.

TheWiseOwl · Answer

American people seem friendly to me especially the one's who travel around London. If you want to meet unfriendly women come to the UK.

Roycaryn · Answer

I noticed you said you lived in Florida and, certainly so if you live around the beachfront areas, people there are bound to be less friendly towards you.

Tripzz · Answer

I agree with you, most American women use sex as a weapon and its sickening. Why? Because they are told and shown through the media that its okay.

poet78 · Answer

That's really Sad I think. Personally, I left Facebook and canceled my account there just recently. Why? not try other social media sites like Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, or tick-tock for example? I mean there are alway's other option's out there. You just simply have to look for it. I mean as the famous saying goes- " Seek and Ye Shall Find" and I like I said you just have to be willing to look. I mean we live in a very big world with endless people you could be making friends with.

oe198726 · Answer

They are arrogant, stuck up, and act entitled. Also, they are most likely jealous of you. Foreign women are always prettier and sexier than American women.

Klaatu51 · Answer

there are cold women all around the world not only in America

Moose1964 · Answer

I don't know either. I spent three years on Germany and aboard with the USAF in the 80's, European women are the best! Now that I am stateside, was married for 24 years, now 55 and single, in this day in age American women are snobby and cold. I don't hate women, try and be friendly to a few: my God they act like I'm going to rape them.

Anonymous · Answer

Not just American women are unfriendly and cold. I admit, Americans are pretty awful sometimes, but you can't make the generalization that all American women, and only American women, are unfriendly and cold.

NotInterested002 · Answer

I think it's because we don't take any crap lol, jk. I don't know.  Happy New Year

lanternhill · Answer

Do you mind me asking you where you're originally from?

Your_boss · Answer

Is this all because of Facebook?

Izzex3 · Answer

There are plenty of friendly American women. I encounter them everyday. That's a stupid generalization. Some people are just cold and unfriendly.

Why are American women so unfriendly and cold?

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