Do you believe that male sexuality (towards women) is demonized in today's world?

[Prof_Don]

This is a common saying when it comes to talk about social topics in relations to gender.

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Do you believe in this notion that "male sexuality (towards women) is demonized", aka male sexual desires for women and their acting upon those desires upon women, are unnecessarily and put in a negative light?

Please vote on the poll and answer in as much detail as you wish! Why do you think this way?

Anonymous is allowed if you want that extra protection layer.

yes, male heterosexuality and action upon that sexuality towards women, is unfairly demonized in today's society

I disagree

[Anonymous]

Okay so I voted disagree, but I'm going to explain why! :)

I don't think male sexuality has been demonized. I basically feel that it's just coming to light that some things just aren't appropriate anymore.

Take Madmen for instance. If you watch that show, you see just how acceptable it was back then to touch, comment or degrade a woman's appearance in front of her. I was pretty shocked when I first started watching. Yes, that's a tv show, but it's a pretty accurate depiction of what it was like back then.

Women are still degraded today. But it's different now because people speak out against it more than they did in the past. I think the 'political correctness' of the times is just a correction of the ways of the past. That is why there is so much talk about rape culture and violence against women. Because it's still a very prevalent thing in today's culture.

The thing is, in order to try and circumvent this you have to basically just communicate with women. Ask them what they want, what they like and have some respect.

Most men I know aren't too bad. But some guys (and women too) do not respect boundaries. Unfortunately those few do make it hard for everyone else. Because not all men rape or are violent, it's just a few men who do. But it's still a big issue in society. We have to be aware of these things and educate people.

If a guy approaches me, I politely decline or accept if I like him. I don't get offended or demonize him for trying.

[udolipixie]

Do you believe that male sexuality (towards women) is demonized in today's world?
B. I disagree

I believe inappropriate male sexuality is demonized and guys interpret it to mean all male sexuality is demonized.

For example in male logic 'crude dehumanizing catcalling is demonized' equates to 'approaching or talking to a gal is demonized'. Or in male logic 'creepshots being demonized' equates to 'seeing gals in a sexual manner or wanting to look at pornographic images is demonized'.

Basically to me male sexuality is generally only demonized when there is no consideration for the person they are sexualizing. Such as defending catcalling when said person has shown/stated to dislike said behavior. Expressing your sexual desires to a person without considering or even negating what the other may desire is okay to demonize to me.

I find when guys complain about their sexuality being demonized it tends to mean they want to be able to say/do whatever to a gal without her expressing her discomfort or being offended.

[thedevilwithin]

Hasn't it always been though? Like the whole men only want one thing phrase was around since before i was born. And isn't that something that men have propagated themselves? I've heard that men are biologically driven to spread their seed and therefore are justified in sleeping around or cheating quite a bit. Or that men are more visual and again have a higher sex drive therefore they need porn or sex more often?

I'm not saying these statements are true but they are quite common...
The idea that men would disregard moral/ethical considerations for sex, because they are so biologically driven?
Again i want to reiterate, i personally don't believe these statements to be true. If you are a human with a functioning brain, your sex drive doesn't control your every action obviously.
But i don't see the "demonizing" aspect to be all that new. I think the main difference today is that as feminism has particularly in the media reemerged, the attention to this stereotype is heightened.
At least that's what i think it is.

[RebelOfNowhere]

There are cases when it is and cases when it isn't.

There are people who get offended when a guy flirts with or hits on them, in a completely acceptable way, and that kind of irks me.

On the other hand, there are guys who are very rude and sexualize women when trying to flirt with them, and I completely agree with people would say that kind of behavior shouldn't be encouraged.

What I find unfair is that women do these same things, and no one bats an eye. I've listened to women talk about how they are going to try and split a guy away from his girlfriend just because she wants sex, and no one had an issue with it. Women sexualize men just as much as men sexualize women, and it isn't right when anyone does it.

So yea, it's unfair that male sexuality is demonized when female sexuality can be just as bad. It's fair to say that both men and women can be guilty of things that deserve demonization, but neither side is deserving of it on its own.

[Transigence]

I appreciate your acknowledgment that women can do the same things men do in these areas, and that it's not treated the same by society, but I have a couple of important questions for you:

What exactly does it mean to sexualize someone in this context?
Why is it bad?

[RebelOfNowhere]

@Transigence well, most people have sexual thoughts about others, but there are times when it's appropriate to act on them and times when it is not. Like in a club, where a lot of people go just to get laid, and pretty much everyone is looking at everyone they are attracted to in terms of sex. In that situation, it's appropriate to most people. It's a situation where people EXPECT to be sexualized, and it isn't really harmful.

In most situations though, people don't expect to treated that way, and it can be awkward to downright frightening if someone is acting very sexually towards you when you aren't willing to reciprocate, or if they are using their sexuality to try and manipulate you. That's when it can become harmful.

There's nothing wrong with men and women wanting sex, it just has to be handled in a way that isn't harmful or uncomfortable to the person they want it with.

[Anonymous]

Yes it is.

Catcalling, for example. Let's talk about that. It's unseemly behavior that puts women on edge. No one should catcall. Simple, right? Well guess what -- the overwhelming majority of men DON'T catcall -- because they understand that it is, in fact, unseemly behavior.

Yet there's a Red Scare, epidemic level of paranoia surrounding a man talking to a woman he doesn't know. If the word "hello" comes out of your mouth, not only are you assumed to be a "catcaller," you're also considered a rapist. "Hello" = rape, in the mind of the modern female.

How the hell is a guy supposed to function romantically at all when the prevailing assumption is that men are evil?

Partly the problem is that women go to fucking retarded places to meet men, like bars and clubs. Then they get conditioned to thinking that the men there (who are a very, very tiny minority of men) are representative of most men -- which is totally NOT the case at all.

So between confirmation bias, paranoia, and mass hysteria, yes, male sexuality is demonized today.

[Accipiter]

Yes. The line between heterosexual male attractions and being a creep, and the line between being complimentary towards a woman and being a sexist has been completely blurred by the mainstream media.

[emmabee11]

No... because guys DO act negatively towards women, only a small majority of guys know how to treat women, but most aren't understanding and are very very insecure with themselves, most women are too but at least we don't flip out every time we get rejecting and expect every man to fancy us... we can't unsee how any of us are treated... i've had my fair share of males saying nasty things to me to try and push down my self-extreem and confidence to try and force me to go out with them or to have sex with them... do it's just fact... not "demonized" in any way... Of course men and women in general even treat their own sex like shit and do and say things out of jealousy to ruin chances for people but most women wouldn't ever dream of saying or doing so dispicable in order to force guys to have sex with them or date them... not ever...

[Kirah]

Yes, very heavily.

The worst part is that it's so paradoxical. On one hand some feminists think men should never approach women without their permission at all, but on the other hand these same women will claim "a guy better approach me 'cuz I ain't approaching a guy myself! I'm old-fashioned!".

[Prof_Don]

The paradox about that is so silly, isn't it?

#SillyGirls

[Dez22]

Generally, no.

It's only demonizing if you degrade her in any way. Beating her, raping her, verbally abusing her, treating her like a second class citizen. Don't yell out what you'll do to a woman when she walks by you, don't start calling her cutie pie or sexy mama when you first meet (yes that's happened to me before). And listening to a person when they inform you that they don't like something. If they don't like something, don't do it. If you keep doing it after the fact, at that point, you're being disrespectful to the person you're attracted to.

It's about respect. That goes for both genders.

[Prettygurl12]

Approaching a woman in today's culture is like defusing a bomb. You make one wrong comment and she blows up in your face :)

Oh, so glad I get to be the bomb lol

[Dipsy]

And then she goes to jail.. Oh wait, she is a woman and so they send the man to jail for the woman hitting him lol

[TheGamingOne]

hehe, i love to ask them if they want equal rights when they hit me in the face (for trying to initiate small talk) If they say that they want equallity (99% chnace) then they are blessed with 2 option

Im allowed to hit her back
OR
She has to get me a sandwich >:D

75% sandwich rate :D (3/4)
and the other 25% just left

[Prof_Don]

I like bombs. :)

[throwit]

No one is saying not to be attracted, or not be attracted to certain aspects, but a lot of men fail to realize that women are people and treat them like objects rather than people.
No one has to scream and holler at random women who walk past them, no one has to blaintently ogle someone else, no one should be touching a stranger,

[Transigence]

This is it, right there. That "hollering at random women" is a bad thing. It's an outlet of male sexuality, in some NARROW circumstances, to call out to women in admiration of their sexuality. It's not a bad thing. At worst, it's an inconvenient thing for a woman who is being called to, who may not be receptive to it. In that case it warrants an eye-roll and to keep walking. At best, it's validation and feedback on what is likely some effort she put in to be seen that way.

This is precisely what the asker is asking about. This is the demonization of male sexuality right here.

[throwit]

It is a bad thing. It shows that you have no respect and you feel entitled to make women uncomfortable. That you can't keep your thoughts to yourself. Childish. most guys know that a passing woman will not stop and give her number when they yell things at them, they don't do it because they think she will stop, they do it because it proves to others how manly they are, how straight they are, how entitled they are. It's called "sexual objectification". It is NOT "male sexuality".

[throwit]

@Transigence

[silverfeline]

I think it's based on the situation then the topic itself like say a man sees a beautiful woman in a very revealing state of dress and thinks because of that he's aloud to make rude, sexual comments towards her and is acting as if she dressed for men to look at her that way. But that very same women is actually fully and completely gay. In that scenario that man is wrong and should definitely be demonized for his behavior he is a man so he is going to have his thought but there is nothing that will excuse the fact that he made what he was thinking known to her and the rest of the public there is a reason why they say keep your thoughts to yourself

[Transigence]

So why is it offensive for him to declare his thoughts?

[silverfeline]

@Transigence uh because she did not ask to know about the sexual and perverted thoughts the random strange guy thinks about her. Your question is the equivalence of why is it offensive for a angry employee to go up to their boss and tell them what they think completely uncensored and unhindered. O_O

[nalaa]

Not at all. I think it's quite celebrated, to the point that men don't realize not everything they think about women is appealing to women. So they say stuff like "nice butt" and wonder why she gets offended

Can you imagine that happening in the 50s? No because society then gave clear rules on how women want to be treated and talked to. That's all it is, a lack of rules and over celebrating it

[Transigence]

Why should a man complimenting a woman's butt, even in a direct way, offend her (or anyone else)?

[nalaa]

@ Asker, see? That's my point men don't understand

@Transigence Sexual comments of any kind are just not welcome from anyone. It'd be different if he said her hair was nice, but you know complimenting butts and boos comes with a very sexual undertone and it's not polite coming from most people.
Men apearently somehow somewhere men have lost the ability to make that distinction and if you asked me it's because male sexuality is so celebrated everywhere all the time, that what women feel about it gets completely lost in the picture and men have no idea, even get mad when they get told how we feel about it

We need to bring back some good christian shame. Kidding of course but saying male sexuality or sexuality in general is demonized, in comparison where we come from is ridiculous. It's quite the opposite

[Words_and_Wisdom]

Thanks to feminism, guys are more pressured to bring 'consent forms' with them when they try to have sex. It's idiotic! Feminism created this "rape culture" culture that makes women paranoid of men, and men paranoid of women. Women unfairly believe every man is potentially going to rape them and men are afraid a finger will be pointed at them and ruin their entire career and lifestyle.

Just like how women are being 'slut shamed', the equivalent for guys is being 'player shamed.'

[Dez22]

Rape culture is when the victim is blamed for getting raped and NOT the person who raped them.

Rape culture is when people believe they have no self control, so they have rights to go around raping people.

Rape culture is when you see a girl walking down the street in a tight dress, and you say, "She forced me to rape her by wearing that dress. It's not my fault I raped her."

Rape culture is when a man gets raped by a woman or another man and people say, "Why didn't you fight back?" They blame him and they let the rapist get away.. THEY NEVER BLAME THE RAPIST. They ALWAYS gets a pass.

Sometimes the rapist is even celebrated. "That bitch got what she deserved!!"

Rape culture is he wants her to sit back and take everything he throws at her. He doesn't want to hear "I don't like it".

Rape culture is "Oh it's okay, go ahead and FORCE yourself unto her, she'll learn to like it"

Rape culture is: Men are BORN to rape 😀

Sex needs to be MUTUAL. Why is that so hard to understand?

[Dez22]

Oh and one more thing...
Rape culture is for people who don't understand the simple concept that sex needs to be mutual.

Clearly, you have no clue what rape culture is.

[Mesonfielde]

@Dez22 It's true that women end up regretting that they chose to have sex with someone then they cry "rape" just to screw the guy over, I've heard cases like that and the guy was beaten nearly to death then the girl was all prideful about how he got this guy beaten nearly to death for no reason; it's fucked up

[BruceJender]

I agree to a certain extent.

A lot of the time, as a straight man, I do feel like I'm walking on egg shells and that I can't be myself around women. But on occasion I do feel able to do things how I want, but this tends to be with a smaller minority of women.

[BrunetteNYC]

I disagree. I think that it's demonized in cases like Bill Cosby, and other rapists and those exploit women and subject them to violence. In normal cases, it isn't demonized, it's widespread and widely accepted that women should honor men's desire by dressing in almost nothing and presenting themselves as 98% naked at all times lol

[Mesonfielde]

Simply put, a random person yelling at you on the street saying "I WOULD FUCK YOU HARD" is not a compliment; it is a physical threat.

But in a "romantic relationship" if a girl feels like "she is treated as an object just because their boyfriend wants to have sex with them", then that is just ridiculous and it truly is a sign of what you are talking about. People are socialized to think sex is "bad" in general, and many don't grow out of it.

[Lolomon]

Well, in a way. But I feel like women's sexuality isn't talked about , society refuses to believe women have biological primal sexual drive. and women are sexualized but our sexuality is never talked about. I think if it where more equal in who is sexualized and the sexes sexuality , men wouldn't feel attacked and women wouldn't to attack because you would understand our needs.

[Dandeus]

Which aspect of male sexuality? The fuck-and-run crowd? The 2-minute man that won't go down on his woman to get her off? The catcallers? The touchy-feely gropers in the office? The double standard of men fucking anything with two legs and a pulse while rejecting any girl who's not a virgin?

Sure they're demonized... but unnecessarily? Nah.

[Transigence]

So for all of that, why can't YOU be seated next to an unattended child on some airlines? What does all that have to do with how YOU PERSONALLY are treated?

Because those things are used to justify how YOU (as a strange man) are treated.

[Azara]

no. i think womens sexuality is demonized as it has been for centuries and male sexual advances towards women get negative attention bc women are not supposed to be sexual in the first place. is really got nothing to do with men.

[takumii]

"women are not supposed to be sexual in the first place. " -- Holy nun.,

[Jager66]

Is that why airlines are so afraid men will sexually assault children they are preventing men from sitting next to children? Because it's women's sexuality being demonized?

Perhaps there is another perspective to the sexuality discussion then the female one.

[OpenClose]

I agree, even though I voted Yes.

I've noticed that women with higher libidos who feel comfortable expressing said libido are much more receptive.

And instead of centuries, it has been closer to millennia. Controlling women's sexuality was central to ensuring paternity certainty in early agricultural civilization. Maternity is already certain, since the baby literally came out of her. This wasn't a big deal until we had to start deciding which man was financially responsible for which child. The only way to do this was demanding women be sexually exclusive to one man an virginal prior to this. From there, you get patrilinear (Fathers' lineage) or patrinomic (Father's name) naming schemes.

When women have high, albeit misunderstood, libidos, but have their sexuality more restricted than men's, I would understand this would create a bit of distaste for sexually-expressive men. It's in much the same way women slut shame women who they see as "indulging".

[OpenClose]

For the guys: Hypergamy ("marrying up") didn't come into play until this period. Because men were held responsible for the financial well-being of women, women's economic status was determined pretty much entirely be the man she married. Marriage for love is a fairly new concept, as it was mainly a contract that exchanges resources for exclusive sexual access.

As such, women would want to marry as rich or as powerful as they could, as they could not achieve acquire these things themselves.

Before this, the idea of marrying for riches was nonsensical. Not only were resources shared equally throughout the tribe before agriculture ("fierce egalitarianism" anthropologists call it), but the gatherers (mostly women) actually provided the majority of the food, with hunters (mostly men) providing meat now and again, an hides.

Had this continued into agriculture, it would technically be MEN looking for a woman who could provide for HIM.

Remember that next time a girl demands you pay.

[Ulyss]

Yea if you're a pussy and don't have confidence in what you say, I'm not going to lie and just say what they want to hear but if you want to get on all fours and get it nice and deep from these people go on ahead.

[Casper286]

Yes but I think it's linked to rape culture, feminism/MRA, and double standards in today's society.

[dudeman]

there is no rape culture. feminist made up these double standards that don't exist and mras want equality. what exactly was you're comment?

[Prof_Don]

What is "rape culture"?

[Northeast106]

Think fraternities. Society by and large doesn't promote rape, but some younger men are a bit insensitive towards it.

[Salohcin22]

@dudeman you better watch out with mra's wanting equality. to me, they are just an early form of feminism, back when feminism just wanted equality, and was actually doing a bunch of legitamite things like supporting women's suffrage.

egalitarians are the only ones who want equality and will stand for issues. Groups that stand for one gender to begin with in the fight for equality will still stand with that gender when they get equality. Obvious example is feminism now that guys get paid 12-15% less on average (similar jobs is higher) Too lazy to find the study, but feminists were supporting it and it was a legitimate study.

[dudeman]

@Salohcin22 ehh we will see.

[Casper286]

@dudeman: Rape culture is how women who get raped are told they were asking for it and men who get raped are told they're weak. Double standards: women can cry and be emotional yet men can't, it's acceptable for men to be hairy but women are expected to be hairless. Are you saying those are made up too?
While I do agree that some MRA members want equality i. e. the ones who want custody of their kids, but there are also some who want to degrade women and see them only as sex objects.

[dudeman]

There is no rape culture saying so is just plain old fashioned stupid

[kittykatbrat]

Tbh, I can argue both sides due to my own personal life.

[asiag299]

I absolutely agree this modern day feminism is a load of crap. Besides can even old feminism be counted as feminism after all it wasn't for all women just white women.

[Filipe97]

Meanwhile homossexuality is defended...
I have absolutely nothing against gay people but damn.

[Abe90]

Most "typical" guys hit on women in a vulgar way because they probably don't know how to talk to women or they think that men are supposed to approach women like that. But there are few who don't act in such that makes men seem "demonized"

[Sparks118]

Yes and no. Sure, there are pretty crappy guys, but at the same time normal and good guys are both being told that if they say the wrong things they'll get attacked for it.

[05candyman]

i can't lie, I've seen this. not to me personally, but most other guys. the only people that can get away with being overly sexual are pretty guys. everybody else is "creepy"

[Anonymous]

Men weren't even allowed to be in a room with a virgin female for decades because society thought they couldn't stop themselves from raping her or tricking her into sex. So I think things are improving.

[jakeofalltrades]

yes it is, guys almost need lawyers just to talk to girls anymore

[LordZero]

I think the users on GaG are responsible for demonizing male heterosexuality. The guys and girls on this site are cockblockers. Glad I went to prostitutes. I'm going to walk around the streets tomorrow and ask every girl for sex.

[snowangle]

Have fun with that...

[sinful1620]

Women think men aren't demonized and men think they are. Interesting.

[alibaba42]

i haven't noticed it to be honest. maybe in the media but not when approaching girls

[Anonymous]

Yep, male sexuality is seen as deviant in its essence. That's why there are no men teaching in primary education anymore.

[RedThread]

I think it depends entirely on how male sexuality is defined.

[AngryHorny]

This is what you get for letting the Pope run the show.

[SIGguy]

I just prefer to save myself the embarrassment and not even make an attempt to ask.

[bubbletrouble]

probably but so is a woman's sexuality so its hard to care

[Polocrew]

Lmaoo if you taking about neckbeard Wk little nerds here, then yea. Irl nah

[LittleSally]

Yeah... I see that being an issue...

[Honesttoafault]

White straight males are evil cis scum!!!