Why does being intellectual hurt a black man's relationship with people?

[Anonymous]

There seems to be a problem when a black guy doesn't act ghetto or some stereotypical trait like a cool player guy with swagger like Usher or acts like a rapper. If a black man speaks with proper English, sounds intelligent in his words and speaks eloquently there seems to be social ostracizing.

The only instance where intelligence and being black man doesn't hurt your relationships with people is if you are jacked like a linebacker.

Example taken from a male gager:
"I don't know man this fits me 10010000% I'm a black guy who's is an introvert and a deep thinker. I do t steal, do drugs, never had a criminal record, I respect woman, I hate sleeping around. And so on. But no one bats an eye to me, no one wants to talk to me until they want something, they hate how I am not them and say I'm lame for not knowing stupid stuff on tv and movies. It don't bother me much but really love this topic. Maybe they don't wanna feel left out when comes to being alone."

Another real life example called from another black guy:

This guy is an educated , does not speak ghetto, speaks clearly and sounds intelligent; I would actually consider him having a career in voice acting. Now even though this guy is intelligent, graduated from respected college, does not sell drugs and dresses sharp he has a hard time getting women to like him. 1 year ago he actually made a video discussing his difficulty in online dating and this guy is not socially awkward or has some kind of hangups when talking to girls. It just seems if you don't play into a stereotype people just can' relate to you.

On the flip side, we have another black male who is of the same height and looks, who originally grew up in the ghetto and moved to the suburbs.

He follows classic media portrayal for black men. Not only does this guy have a girlfriend (seen above) but he's had sex with many girls some of whom were fine ass chicks from upper high middle class families.

[Anonymous]

I know plenty of intelligent black guys who are doctors I work with them and they talk very educated. They are married. It depends on the environment, if you live in the ghetto and are surround by uneducated people, then they suspect you to act the same way. I have gone through something similarly, I talk educated and people would assume I'm trying to be white. Being black and intelligent doesn't hurt any relationships you have it simply means you are trying to make relationships with the wrong people. Of course you have a few ignorant people but you shouldn't let that discourage you. You can get an amazing woman or whatever you like, the moment you add race into it that's what it solely becomes about. Maybe you lack confidence in yourself and you want to use the race card. There are plenty of intelligent black guys who have amazing group of people around them. But if you're afraid and insecure then it will show and you can be smart but if you don't love yourself no one will. Figure out what you're really afraid of.

[shadowlegend]

There are stereotypes in all cultures and that creates problems for a lot of people, but you can have peace of mind knowing someone criticizes who you are because they are insecure in themselves about something. Maybe they hate that you're breaking a stereotype because they wish they could, or they don't like the expectations others place on them, so they let out their frustration on people who seem to be doing what they wish they could.

[CheshireCat89]

I don't know much about this issue, though I imagine you are definitely correct in your theory. If you have experience this I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this. The best I can do is put aside my preconseptions and Actually Listen to the struggles someone faces.