Guys are you going to back off if the girl knows many guys?

[Anonymous]

This guy who I kinda like has told/asked me a few times about me having mainly guys friends. Like he has said things like:

- "You know so many guys."

- "It must feel good being so popular among guys, right?"

- "I bet they like you more than just friends. It's just that they don't know if they have a chance or not."

- "There are just so many guys around you."

- "So all your friends are mainly guys?" and I said, "umm... no... I've female friends too" and he'd say, "but mainly guys because every time I see you on the phone or texting, the other side is a guy."

Although I don’t think that I know A LOT of guys (they're only a few who I have contact often), a few friends have told me the same thing. I don’t know how it got there, but I guess that’s how people see it. I do deal better with guys than girls, and more than half of the times I hang out with guys instead of girls, but those are just friends, and friends ONLY. Those few who I’ve contacts with often are old friends (we’ve known each other for at least 7 years). Since this guy who I kinda like now has brought that up for a few times, I feel like he might be holding off or worrying if I’m only treating him as a friend because of that. Does it mean he mind about the fact that I know many guys (since he brought up the topic a few times)? What can I do to let him know that he can be more than just a friend?

[SmoothBlue17]

To tell you the truth guys do come up with many assumptions when they always see a girl around guys, (especially if he has an interest in you) and do hold back because we don't wanna walk into muddy territory. On top of that we have to work extra hard to buy your time if we wanna express or tell you something, we never have the chance to because you are always around a guy. He probably does mind a lot that you have a lot of guy friends.

You can show a little more interest in him and spend more time with him to show you are serious and see him more then just a friend.

[Asker]

When we're at work & have breaks, we usually go get foods together. And he's the only guy who I'd go with. I can't control what other people do though, like some guys at work'd just share/offer me foods/candies/snacks because they like me as a friend/colleague (they think I'm funny). I think the guy I like doesn't like about that - before when a guy helped me to buy breakfast, he said that that guy's gonna be my future boyfriend. I told him no because that guy's too skinny (he's a bigger guy).

[Asker]

He wouldn't say that again now but sometimes when that guy talks with me, he'd stare at us for a while. Last night, right after I got to work, this other guy at work came up to me and gave me 4 different snacks. I tried to pay him back (I even took out the $ already) but he didn't want it. Then, when I ate with the guy who I like, he bought up that "knowing many guys" issue again and he told me he saw it when that other guy gave me those snacks. So I'm thinking that he's probably p*ssed by that.

[Anonymous]

He sees them are rivals or competition, you have stong emotional bonds with them. How common is it to fall for your friend and be tempted to enter into a relationship.

[Asker]

Hmm... Rivals? Maybe? He has told me how my guy friends like me more than just a friend based on some conversations I told him, but I clearly told him that I only see them as friends only and that I don't have feelings for them at all. I've been honest with him instead of playing games making him feel like the competition is so big that his chance is zero. I don't know what else I can do.

[Opinion Owner]

If he feels like he has to compete with them on a emotional level he might just walk away, its really about him how confident he is, whether he is jealous or possessive, if he deal with it he wont..

[Opinion Owner]

*cant deal with it..

[martyfellow]

If he can't take a hint...give him a symbolic gift, something he mentioned when talking to you..

[Asker]

Like what can I give him?

I usually just share snacks/candies with him. And he's always the first guy who gets it if I share with the group. Sometimes I just share with him, not even my girl friend. For twice, my girl friend was like, "Why do you just give it to him?"

He should have got that hint, right? We flirt a little and I don't flirt with other guys at work unless he thinks I do - I like smiling & joking because I like seeing people laugh, but some people may take it the wrong way huh?

[martyfellow]

I'd suspect he's 'taken'. Or VERY shy. Or you work someplace where it's really fascistic about fraternziing.

Try giving him a real gift....wrapped and all. For example, if he likes cheese, a litle piece of something really good. Doesn't have to be expensive or too personal..

[Asker]

He's not VERY shy, at least I don't think so because he always makes funny faces & shows me tricks to make me laugh. He also tells jokes and write notes/draw cute pictues to me while we're working, & he compliments me A LOT. He doesn't do those things to other girls at work, like he'd tell me he wanted to show me a trick when my friend's standing right next to me & he wouldn't invite her even when she said she's gonna leave then

I'm thinking that he must be interested, at least a little, right?

[Steve4783]

Personally i would back off because im shy but a small number of confident guys wiuld consider that a challenge.

[Shy_Steve]

I pretty much always back off because im shy.