Are you a touchy-feely (physically) person?

[TheBootyChest]

"I define a person who is "touchy-feely" as someone who casually touches people to establish rapport with them. They are quick to hug or drape their over other people's shoulders. They may tap somene on the arm to get their attention or ruffle someone's hair when they are in a playful mood. They aren't afraid to touch or be touched. They may not even be aware they are touching people, that's how natural it is to them."

How do you start this behavior with a new person you've met?
How can other people tell if you are a touchy-feely person and that it's okay to "touch" you?

Updates

+1 y

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[tightblackjeans]

I so am! I hug people at the drop of a hat, and I love it when people touch my arm in conversation, or when guys do that thing when they guide you through a door by your waist. I try to go gentle on strangers though, coz I realize some (crazy!) people don't like being hugged so much.
How do you start? Well, maybe it's a lot about reciprocation... and invitation - if someone opens their arms a bit when they say goodbye, I'll totally hug them! I wonder if there is a touchy-feely "type" you know, kind of smiley and laughy and gushy...

[TheBootyChest]

I totally agree with everything you said. I am the same way. I would hug at the beginning, and at the end. I wouldn't mind being able to like lean into someone if we are having a fun time laughing.

I also like to "guide" ladies through the door. Do you prefer it to be done on the small of your back or somewhere else?

[tightblackjeans]

Yeah, hugs at the beginning AND at the end! Sometimes I wish I lived in one of those countries like Italy or France, where it's just a normal greeting to hig and kiss people!
And the leaning in thing is so adorable and connecting! Like tapping someone's foot under the table..
The small of the back is good, but the side of the waist is even better - I'm really sensitive there somehow! (I also seem to really like exclamation marks!!!)

[TheBootyChest]

Is this with friends or just with significant others/family?

I remember in junior high, the kid who sat behind me would tap his foot thinking it was the chair and it was my foot. So I kept it there just because it was a form of touch, and I enjoyed it.

I don't mind (this) !!! at all. LOL

[tightblackjeans]

Ooh definitely with friends too! Or if I have a really excellent conversation with someone I've just met I already want to hug them
Maybe it's a physical expression of the symbolic connection we feel with humanity or something!

[TheBootyChest]

I agree with the physical expression of the bond we share.

How do you let people know that you are a "hugger" or really likes to have physical contact with you?

[tightblackjeans]

I wonder if huggers have a closer "personal space" around them, you know... I think I tend to stand pretty close to people when I'm talking to them. Sometimes I get a bit distressed when the other person has a larger personal space than me and they edge away a bit! (Have to respect people's personal space though!) Also I think I gesture towards people quite a lot you know, like half the distance towards touching them.
Or occasionally I just yell "group hug!"

[TheBootyChest]

I have noticed recently that I have been reaching out to touch people on the arm or the leg when talking or laughing with them. And occasionally I put my hand on their back lightly just to "escort" them in a way or to make sure they don't bump into me or someone else.

[Anonymous]

I'm the exact opposite of touchy feely. Being touched usually makes me extremely uncomfortable. Unfortunately the guy I've been flirtitng with for a while is super touchy feely. He's always touching me. He asks for hugs everyday, he's always high fiving people, poking me, tapping me, leaning on me, trying to hold my hand, trying to pick me up, and more. It can get super annoying.

[DivaMonae]

Yeah I definitely am. It isn't something that's really special to me if you know what I mean.

What I'm trying to say is I'll hug, hold someone's hand, put my arm over their shoulder, etc. It's just a playful manner and how I express my friendship with anyone. I'm not a person that would only do that with family, someone I'm dating, or wouldn't do it in public at all.

[BlueCoyote]

Yes, very much. I love showing physical affection and I'm a very affectionate type of guy. I got it from my dad. He's also very affectionate ;-).

[TheBootyChest]

Are you this way to significant others and family members or ANYBODY?

[BlueCoyote]

I would like to be that way to anybody but I happen to live in a culture where physical touch is used very sparsely (Swiss people are very reserved even for European standards and their private space is very important for them), so I act rather distant to people I don't know well. But if I know somebody well, I like to be touchy-feely... this also goes for friends, for example my best guy friend. Luckily, he's quite similar in this and not one of those guys who immediately scream "gay!" because I've experienced that with some other guys when I wanted to hug them. I'm straight and for me it's not about gay feelings... it's my way of showing people that I like them a lot. Sometimes I feel like I have too much love for just one person inside of me and I need to share it with other people :-).

[tightblackjeans]

That's lovely!
And so interesting that your dad is that way too. When I see people who are free with their laughter and affection, I often wonder what their family is like - I want my kids to end up like that!

[BlueCoyote]

@tightblackjeans My long-term girlfriend once revealed to me her rather "different" but cool dating strategy she followed before and when she met me. Basically, most people care about looks or y'know... "traditional" things like humor, loyalty, intelligence... that kinda stuff. Of course these things also played a role for my girlfriend but her priority number one was always: "I want to find a guy who comes from a family where I can see that it's clearly a very loving environment". Some people might think that's a strange criteria but I actually think it's brilliant. Your relationship with your family and the way you grew up affects your life soooo much. Luckily, I grew up in a very loving, affectionate family, which is why I also turned out that way myself.
I think especially women should pay more attention to this point. It would help many a girl avoid heartbreak. Of course people from broken households can also be sweet and caring but statistically speaking, it's always risky.

[tightblackjeans]

Sounds like very wise criteria to me! We surely learn so much about how to love, and how to be loved, from our families at a young age. And I bet that you in turn will be a lovely dad, if you ever have kids!
(Sometimes I wish our government here in Australia would focus less on the economy, and more on helping people raise beloved and well-adjusted children... imagine what what wonderful things a whole generation of joyous people could do for the world!)

[Saoirse_Nua]

I hate people touch me unexpectedly - A few unfortunates got elbows in the head for embracing me from behind unawares

[babeeeone]

I'm very touchy feely. It just makes me feel closer to a person and it's also how I show my love

[TheBootyChest]

What kinds of things do you do when you are "showing your love" to other people?
If someone else wanted to be touchy feely in the way you are to others how would they know it's okay to do that?

[babeeeone]

I like hugs and kisses but I don't that to just anyone. I'm only touchy feely with people I have a very close relationship with.

[TheBootyChest]

Is it just hugs and kisses or is it like touching their arm while talking, etc.

[babeeeone]

Yeah I won't be afraid to touch their arm or something gentle like that if I feel close to someone.

[TheBootyChest]

That sounds cool. I feel the same way you do. But I am open to touching people who are friends or becoming friends.

Another example would be like sitting up against a wall and leaning against each other.

[babeeeone]

I like things like that too. Like if I'm getting to know someone and they automatically feel comfortable enough to be close to me I like that because it's like a warm welcome. I just like to be close to people in general I guess

[TheBootyChest]

There is nothing wrong with that at all. IT's just how people like us show affection/love for other people.

I just wish we knew how to find each other out there in the real world. And not have to ask "are you a touchy feely kind of person?"

[vishna]

I'm not going to hug or drape myself on someone's shoulders. But I jab people when I laugh and something is said. And I love wrestling with my boyfriend for fun. And I always liked wrestling with my sister. And I love snuggling my pets.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNwibC18N0g

[vishna]

XXD what er u doin!!!>!>!>>?

[vishna]

@OrdinaryGentleman

[Waited]

Nope. I hate touching anyone except my boyfriend. It just grosses me out. Full on cringe

[menina]

I'm not a touchy-feely person at all. I only touch people when I have too.
And I always find weird when someone touches me.

[WillowTree]

For a new person, depends if he's hot or not. Otherwise, I'm slipping his arm off of me.

[SaltAndLime]

I'm not a touchy feels person. I can be affectionate but it's not a common occurrence

[TuMeManques]

I'm very touchy fey but only with people I'm very close to.

[Autumn-Bunny]

Yeah, I kind of am it depends who I'm with and how long I've known them for.

[WhereAmI]

Absolutely not. I came from a home where affection was rarely shown.

[Anonymous]

I'm not at all. Like we're all in our personal bubbles

[Blonde401]

Nope not at all.

[reptocarl]

Yes I am

[ToruMatsuda]

I'm only like that with my besties ,

[LunaLawliet]

I'm definitely not.

[beccaboo2]

No, not really.

[SoFeckinAddicted]

No im not.