Dump my aspiring musician boyfriend?

[blackice]

I am dating a great guy - he is kind and loving and so much. He is also 19 (3 years younger than me).

He plays guitar about 6 hours a day and works out. He just finished school and I sat him down to apply for college- and he did.

He has always had the dream to be a guitar teacher which is great, but now that school is done I thought he would at least get a part time job to start saving for college but he is not interested. He just wants to work on his music and he is thinking of not going to college so he can learn more guitar...

He doesn't want a job - he doesn't want college - he just wants to sit in his room and play guitar for 6 hours a day to "get better".

I love him but the whole not having a part time job OR deciding he doesn't wanna go to college is kind of a big deal for me because I can see things going horribly WRONG (meaning he sits in his room and plays guitar for the rest of his LIFE- hoping he gets better)

What do I do? He has been offered a job for a couple days a week and he doesn't wanna take it - music is his LIFE ... there has to be a BALANCE...

[townlove]

Let me give it to you (and him) straight., he's young and naive

He's not gonna get that much better if he just stays in his bedroom practicing. trust me!

Even if his "goal" is to become a guitar teacher. Its still no use. no one is gonna sign up to be his student.

My recommendation to him is to go out in the real world and start playing in bands. He will progress much quicker in skill if does so. By playing in bands, he can also build up a following and gain some recognition. Thus increasing his creditability. Guitar students will be more likely to want to take lessons from him.

He can do this all on his side, while he goes to school. He can go to college and major in guitar. There's plenty of colleges that give degrees in Guitar and Music. The most recognized programs for guitar would either be Blues Guitar, Jazz Guitar, or Classical Guitar. Depending on what's his interest. But if his interest is primarily Rock Music, then I said he should go into Blues Guitar Program. All rock music has its roots from Blues music, so this would definitely benefit him. Most notable guitar teachers have certification from an educational institute. In today's workforce and industry, you simply cannot do without it.

And also, even if he manages to follow through with my suggestion, he should get a part-time job just for a bit of income. It doesn't matter what crummy job he gets, the income is what matters. During the school year he can keep his hours minimal and during the summer holidays he can take more hours. He needs to have some income in order to pursuit this. Guitar and music equipment are expensive, as he progresses he's eventually gonna need to upgrade his equipment every once in a while.

Trust me on this. Just tell him what I told you here and try to convince him. This is a good strategy for him.

[blackice]

The problem (he says) with playing in a band is that he claims noone plays his music (neoclassical). So that makes me wonder - why would anyone want to LEARN that music? You can't sing or play in a band with it - you play solo and you have to be VERY good... he even has a hard time playing anything in front of me...

I think he is just being a cop out - and taking what he thinks is the easy way out.

[townlove]

Sounds like he's a very close-minded individual trying to overcompensation with a huge ego. There's plenty of unique bands that play mixed styles, fusion if you will, and then get more notice than those boring cookie-cutters.

And just by declaring that he ONLY plays this or ONLY plays that, he's already doomed himself from the start. A musician or artist needs to explore many styles and gather influences from many sources in order to evolve as a musician.

[Blackkid]

What do I do?: Reason with him, ask him how he intends to pay for life beyond music, for instance his guitar will break down and need maintenance and repair, if anything he'll be much better off with the cash so that he can afford a new guitar if he needs it and can maintain his stuff plus pay to view venues with better guitarists and learn a thing or two.

As for college can he get into a college for music? Has he tried? Explain to him that he's not putting his dream on the "back burner" but instead he's getting funding for his dream, the investment into a 2-year or 4-year degree will get him noticed and a lot further in his music career ( esp. since there are indeed programs and degrees for teaching music ) than his being good at guitar alone because a lot of people are good at guitar, not as many are actually accredited with a music teaching degree.

[blackice]

Thanks for your comment - for now he is living in his dream world... :P hopefully he wakes up and realizes he needs money for agents, lessons, music school, guitars etc...

[DanielSan]

I would say to you. I f you can't live and accept his dreams then no your not meant for him. Break up with him that will give him so great song ideas about you being a bitch and then like taylor swift he can get fame and money...

if you really play six hours aday you can get VERY good and look at how much music teachers make.

For private lessons, 30 an hour for the average teacher. Depending on degree and /or experience, you can charge a lot more. I've seen 100 an hour before.

link

If you can't del with his hopes and dreams I would dump him though.

[blackice]

The problem is : he plays neoclassical - he can't sing to that so he either has to get in a band (which he can't find because he says noone plays this type of music) or play solo which is also very rare... its not like he sits down with an acoustic guitar and sings and entertains a room like that....

He does crazy sh*t on his electric guitar and he seems good at it - but its a really strange thing to listen to for an hour at a concert...

[DanielSan]

Ok. well to each their own...give him some time to find himself. Still no matter what style he plays personally you can always switch styles and if he becomes a teacher like I said the money is good...maybe direct him to a school that teachs music :)

[tex151]

I was offered to be a guitar instructor while in college, I thought about it, you can make like at least 50 bucks an hour, but it's not always consistent, and getting students is not an easy thing to do, unless you know someone who owns a music school or music store. I love playing my guitars but I have a life, and even if your boyfriend went to college he could still play guitar, I did in my spare time, at least a couple hours a day. Sitting in your room and not working or not going to school won't pay the bills.

[theyareallcrazy]

Um... How does this guy intend to pay the bills?

You sound considerably more mature than him. I grew up in a small town. Many people with similiar outlook to him. Not proactive at all. Just sit around waiting for something magical to happen to them. I got out of that town as quick as I could.

I wouldn't even consider dating someone like that. I'm surprised you are still with him.

If he's not going to change... I vote for DUMP!