How do I get a boyfriend if I'm not popular?

[Anonymous]

I'm a junior in high school and I've never had a boyfriend. And I mean ever. (I had one in camp for like 2 days when I was like 12 but I'm not counting that). Anyways a lot of guys I talk to at parties and stuff tell me I'm really hot and no offence to those people but I know I'm a lot more attractive than many people at my school that have boyfriends.

The thing is that I'm not really popular. When I came to my school I just kindof got in with the wrong crowd because I'm always shy at first and I hadn't finished puberty so I was awkward looking. I guess that friend group ended up sticking.

Certain guys have nothing to do with my group and others that have expressed interest in me have decided not to ask me out because it would supposedly hurt their reputation.

I don't like any of the guys I'm friends with as more than a friend. So how the heck can I get a boyfriend?

Thanks

[sonic241928]

Take no offence, but based on some of your statements, you seem to be full of yourself. That might be hurting your chances as well.

Once you get out of high school, you'll find that all the stupid cliques and popularity contests don't mean a hill of beans. Until then, however, you'll have to find smart, open-minded kids to befriend. (I say "befriend" because part of finding a relationship is expanding your social circle.)

It seems like your "group of friends" is holding you back, in which case you might want to move on from them. That could subject you to even more alienation, however. But unless your friends don't mean much to you, I don't see why you'd be interested in dating a guy who's afraid to date you because of your social group.

You might want to try joining (and sticking with) a few new clubs, keep going to parties, and doing some volunteer work in your community. Best of luck.

[buccs5520]

it sounds like you need to find new friends. If know of the guys in your group want to date you then you are not going to get a boyfriend. The other guys that are not in your groups of friends would want to date you because they aren't friends with you friends and they might think of less of you because you in with the wrong crowd. I would suggest joining a club or something that you usually wouldn't join so that you meet new people and maybe make new friends. And its not about being popular either its just about meeting people that you are interested in.

[Asker]

I can't though. my school is SUPER cliquey and I've already worked myself as high up as I'm gonna get. once we entered high school the groups were locked in. ugh

[kiwicoconut]

Sounds like you need MTV's "challenge day" at your school.

[buccs5520]

See that's your problem right there you are too worried about being popular "I've already worked myself as high up as I'm gonna get." you shouldn't care about how high you are you should wworry about being happy and surround yourself with people that you want to be around and it honestly doesn't sound like you like you're friends. So if you have to "degrade" to make new friends then you should do it.

[WelpReplies]

That is terrible advice. You're basically telling people to dump their friends in order to get guys to ask you out. If some one doesn't like you despite the people you hang out with or despite their ego/reputation then obviously they aren't the type of person you should want to ask you out in the first place. MY advice is maybe put a little more work than usual in to ur appearance. I'm not saying to change your look but a flat iron and a little mascara can go a long way. Also try talking to them, it's the 21st century you should have to wait for a guy to approach you. Get to know them with out getting stuck in the friend zone then when your comfortable and ready you ask them out if they haven't done so already. Never change your self to make a guys like you because then they're not liking you they're liking a fake.

[star108]

I was the same exact way as you in highschool. I hung out with people that the popular kids didn't really care for. but I just knew that if they couldn't like me for who I am rather than who I hang out with, then they aren't really worth it. My school was really cliquey too and I didn't have a boyfriend in high school. but as soon as I went to college my first semester I met this boy and he has been my boyfriend now for 2 years. when you get passed hs you realize that people don't care about being popular anymore. hs is just a time where you get to know yourself and others. and you never know when you least expect it something great can happen. keep me posted! hoped that helped

[kmhco]

Don't worry about it. Enjoy yourself, because honestly it is better to be less popular in high school. There is just too much drama with the popular kids (at least that's how it was at my high school). Have fun with your friends and go out. If you want a boyfriend you don't have to meet them at school. If you are a member of a youth group that's a good place to meet guys that have similar values to yours, or you could do community service, or join a sports club (not a school club). IMO, just enjoy high school, don't be concerned about climbing some sort of social ladder, and when you meet a guy you like just go for it.

[studmuffin-perfect10]

Small group pf 'popular" people are just that

small worthless people

they really don't have real social skills like they claim and that why they are together

they can't communicate.

[crazychik]

The whole point of a boyfriend if not to make your popularity go up though I know that's not what people think in high school. A boyfriend is supposed to support and love you etc and if all the boys are concerned with popularity, well, why would you want one then?! You should just survive high school and when you're in college when guys are slightly more mature, get a bf...

[funnyjoke]

You think you have it bad? Try going from a Catholic School to a public high school where you don't know anyone. I'm 25 and only had one a girlfriend for 4 months in my entire life (when I was 18)... and I'm actually above average looking. Right now I am a total loner, so I'm completely cut off from society... My job I am pretty much alone 99% of the time too. All I have is my family and my dad is 70 years old, and he can barely do anything with me. See how good you have it compared to me?

[The-All-Star]

Your a total loner? Cut off from society? Well do SOMETHING about it. Get a change were you have to talk to people like customer service. That's what I did.

[funnyjoke]

Customer service... that's funny. I spent years getting technical skills and the

[funnyjoke]

.... there's no way I will stoop to that level. Besides I've developed a deep-seeded hatred and distrust for people through my years of being isolated, and my social skills are that of a 12 year old.

[MILLIONDOLLARSMILE]

You'll get a boyfriend sooner or later especially since you said you're a sweetie.(attractive)

You should give more detail about the group you are hanging out with, you make it sounds as if you were in a gang rofl.

You seem like a nice person when you want to be but if you go around thinking you're the hottest chick on the planet.. some guys likes that and some don't (I'd say most don't.) You should absolutely make sure you're more attractive than the other girls with boyfriends.

[Asker]

Hahahahahha nahh I'm not in a gang lol! when I first came I started out like being with all the "nerds" at my old school before this one I was one of the most popular people because I had gone their my whole life. I'm always shy around new people so when I came to this school I wasn't attractive and I was really shy so I made like only friends with the nerd group.

then in the nxt 2 years I moved my way up from that group to the very top of being unpopular. but since I started l8 I can't get past that

[Asker]

And I'm not conceited or anything I just know I'm more attractive than a lot of people I know that have boyfriends. and obviously looks aren't everythin but I also think I'm really nice to people so I don't see why guys have to be so hung up on their stupid reputations

[MILLIONDOLLARSMILE]

Nerd + Attractive + Girl ? :O that's rare. By nerd you mean really smart but bad at sports or games and social activities right?

I find that cute for reason, all you have to do is stop being shy and you might have to spend less time with your nerdy friends. Just join a after school club/sports team or... find a local park where you see cute boys in your age group and flirt with them. You could ask them if you could join them in soccer and pretend you don't know anything about the sport..

[Asker]

Well I'm not with the "nerds" anymore. but I'm still with unpopular people. just more popular than nerds. and my school is a known good private school so everyone is pretty smart and I'm pretty athletic and I go to social things a lot I'm just shy with new people. oh and I already play soccer haha. ugh I seriously don't know what's wrong with me

[MILLIONDOLLARSMILE]

I'd go crazy for a smart sexy chick who doesn't know much about a sport, so then you could start talking to the boy for a long period of time or something. All you have to do is upgrade your attractiveness I guess, don't go to school looking like a prostitute but you should know what I mean.. just wear a color that stands out maybe and break out of that shy shell and flirt.

[Asker]

I already have a HUGE wardrobe. I have so many cute outfits that I wear to school and everyone compliments me on and I usually look pretty good at school but not like a whore. so I don't think that's the problem. I know its partly because I'm more shy with people I'm not friends with but still that can't be all of it. like its just freaking annoying

[MILLIONDOLLARSMILE]

Well then stop being shy.. I never went to a private school so I don't know how it's like, I'm guessing it's the same as any other school just for the more gifted students..

Find a guy you like and flirt with him, how shy can you be? I mean I'm kind of shy myself but once It's funny because I didn't even use to be shy.. anyways back on topic.

I don't understand what's going on with the guys at your school then, your smart, you play sports, you're a cutie ??

[MILLIONDOLLARSMILE]

Oo I forgot you're not popular.. What do you mean your not popular are you trying to say barely anyone other than your friends knows you name?

[Asker]

No everyone knows who I am I'm just not popular. freshman year I went to this dance with arguably the most popular guy in my grade and he was really nice at the time but then his friends teased him about it and bugged me about it and he's really insecure so after that we stopped talking to each other because he didn't want to ruin his rep. fml

[MILLIONDOLLARSMILE]

Rofl your school is messed. A cute girl unpopular girl dances with a poplar boy and now the boy is getting teased about it?

by the way what is popular to you? because to me it's basically you're a celebrity everyone knows you and wants to hang out with you because you're cool you know how to do everything right.

.. if it makes yo feel better I'll be your boyfriend. (lol before you reply I only said that to make you feel better lol I barely know you.)

[Asker]

Yah ha I know what you mean thanks. it just sucks though. and I mean some guys like me or "like" me but I either am not attracted to them (i'm a little picky) or I know they are jerks that only want to use me. so I don't know what to do. :( even some of the nerds have bfs. fmlfmlfml anywayss thanks for talking to me I guess I'm going out to dinner now so if you wanna answer this then email me at [e-mail] (my awesome anonymous email account) OK bye thanks for trying to help

[MILLIONDOLLARSMILE]

;P No problem Good luck on getting a man! You should I told us what type of boyfriend you're looking for obviously an attracting one but what else? - MILLIONDOLLARSMILE

[MochaCupcake]

There is no way to "get" a boyfriend. I know that's not the answer you were looking for.

I didn't my first boyfriend until junior year, and I didn't get my 1st kiss until I was 16. You can't force relationships. You just have to me very open to guys (smile at them, talk to them, etc.). It's not about being popular. Guys will notice you regardless as long as you're a decent person, and if you take of yourself they'll want to get to know you more.

[audrinamarie]

Girl! You are how old? Truuust me don't look for a guy!(: I did and my first boyfriend (I was in 9th grade) ended up cheating on me. Don't scope out a guy.(: I am a band nerd and I always tried to go for a certain type of guy, but I found a wonderful person when I least expected it.:P you're too young to worry about silly boys.(:

[Wassup]

Cliques and the whole popularity thing is retarded. Honestly if the guy was mature enough he wouldn't give a sh*t. In my opinion if the girl is good looking and fun (but I've also got age preferences so if she's two or more grades younger I can't do anything outside of being friends) then why the hell not?

[Littletad]

You don't need popularity to get a boyfriend. Just be yourself.

[studmuffin-perfect10]

POPULAR people are over ready and yes many time very ugly.