To be clear, by adult I mean anyone over the age of 18. Doesn’t have to be in the work place necessarily, just in general those that bully after that age.
I honestly think it’s pathetic no matter what age but at an age where you’re considered an adult it’s just embarrassing. You’re only showing yourself up and highlighting your own insecurities.
Adult bullying has to do with a lot of things, but it is because they have been taught that that is the way to express themselves and it is an ok to do it. Maybe their parents did it to them. Or maybe they have done it and it didn't have any negative connotations or consequences. There are subtle ways to do bullying too: 1. sarcasm, saying something like you agree with the other person but you disagree and you say it to make them feel stupid 2. complaining or indirect passive aggressiveness 3. stonewalling/silent treatment/ghosting 4. contempt/criticism
The correct way to do something isn't always obvious to someone. Which is to be 1. accepting and tolerance of differences 2. be proactive instead of reactive, and problem solving mind instead of blaming and punishing 3. learn to have non violent communications 4. empathize without having to lose your own point of view 5. synergism and forgiveness, along with finding a common ground one needs to realize that one makes mistakes just as well as anyone else... humbleness I suppose
I recently had a terrible experience with a 60 year old bullying me, and it left a terrible taste in my mouth and I never want to talk to that person again. Her grandson was climbing the slide and my son went down the slide and accidentally hit him. She called me names and put me down in front of my husband and two kids. I was so confused. I made my son apologize and I told my son to be more careful about going up and down the slide so he doesn't hit anyone next time. The goal is to make sure the problem doesn't happen again, it is not to punish, shame or criticize anyone. It's to be proactive and problem solving. It's about having the mind set of win win... people need to read 7 habits of highly effective people. I didn't want to deal with someone who was out to destroy and crush me so I totally forever just ignore her now. It's not totally her fault that she is the way she is. She probably is that way because she was taught that was the right way to do things.
My mom also emotionally and psychologically abuse me along with my sister... I just woke and realized what they were doing. It's not always about the bully. It's about the one being bullied to learn to stand up for themselves too. Read the book "boundaries" by townsend and cloud, and just walk on with your head held high when someone wants to crush you down.
When I've seen that kind of behaviour at my workplace I've always said something and of course it has always been frowned upon but I don't care as long as the people I work with feel at ease.
Last time this happened was one manager talking total bs about one of my colleages and I told him he was a total NUTCASE to him and to my CEO and that I'll keep my guard on. I work as an office manager so my position is complicated but when I see an asshole I let them know I know what they're up to... As in printing quotes about narcissists and sociopaths (I know it's passive agressive but they can go to hell as far as I'm concerned)... Anyway, I resigned recently because another company offered me a job in a better work environment... So that's really the advice I can give... If someone is a douchebag at work you should stand up for it and not be scared at his position, we should all be there for each-other no matter what and bullies should not have the right to impose themselves or their politics onto anyone.
It stupid honestly because no one should be a bully to anyone i can understand why kids do it probably because of who they around with , the parents , friends , etc... But still bully needs to end kids shouldn't be doing it either Adult bully needs to stop to because it is not only stupid but childish... Instead of gossiping , fighting , and etc.. Help the person out.. Find good words to say even if you don't know him her or hated him or her... Apologized as well. And don't be fake.. And especially this : Don't judge anyone by the appearance of the outside but look in the inside of there heart and see how they feel... And place your self where that person is right now and see how you would feel weather bullied or not.
And this : Treat othersthe way u want to be treated Do unto others as have do unto you
I think it's really sad that anyone would feel the need to bully others, but especially a grown adult who should know better. The "real world" is almost as bad as high school. Sometimes I feel like I never left. Unfortunately, there will always be people out there with that mentality who thinks it's okay to be a bully and put others down for one reason or another.
We just have to recognize it for what it is, an immature person who isn't worth taking seriously. I just try to ignore them, focus on myself and try to be the best person I can be. That's all you can do really. Don't let bullies get to you. :)
A crucial idea to keep in mind when you’re dealing with an #adult#bully is to know your rights, and recognize when they’re being violated.
Some victims of adult bullying remain quiet about their experience, and hide their suffering within. Reasons for keeping silent may include, and are not limited to fear, shame, embarrassment, denial, a sense of helplessness and powerlessness, as well as gender, cultural, social, and/or institutional conditioning.
However, being a quiet victim is not only mentally and emotionally unhealthy, it can encourage the bully to repeat and intensify their aggressive behavior. No matter how difficult the circumstance, seek out trustworthy individuals to confide in, whether they be friends, family, workplace confidants, counselors, or operators on a crisis hotline. Sharing your experience is not only cathartic; the support you receive may often strengthen your ability to handle the challenge.
They must lack common sense. If they are still bullies after graduating from high school then they must have not gotten the memo that says they can get in legal trouble, they can ruin their career and they also run the risk of receiving a major whooping.
I always point out the same thing. If you are over a certain age and you do something stupid, the full force of the law can and will come out to get you. I remember on Quora a debate on whether to physically attack bullies. I pointed out that it should be the last resort, since the ADULT thing to do if bullied, especially if resulting in injury, money loss, etc, is suing. You get caught in a physical fight, the police won't always care that you were victim first. You physically attacked means possible jail time. Law is law. But it can be used to an advantage and it's a lot more legal to do so, therefore, take advantage.
Actually there's really nothing illegal about being mean to someone. Beating someone up because they are mean to you will land you in the clanker though.
@sadboy_feels It’s harassment which is illegal and depending on the laws in the area, if a person feels that the harasser is a threat, the person has the right to put the harasser under “citizen’s arrest”.
We all berate others. Bullies jus do it more openly.
A bully is a tipe of character who desires to see others the way they really are and uses manipulative and sometimes violent tricks and tactics to tick off his victims and the bully is satisfied when they show their true faces. It's even better if there's an audience to witness it.
However more often than not the goal is to show the week and the humiliating side of the victim.
That is because our nature is egoistic and we desire to put others down to lift ourselves up.
But there are no negative trates, that cannot be used for a positive purpouse.
If the bully character cared about someone more than he cares for himself he would use his skills to manipulate the other in such a way that would bring out his positive traits and he would find satisfaction in seeing his "victim" thrive and reach his positive hidden potential. Think, a demanding coach or a strict boss who understands that his workers are his most important asset.
It takes real maturity to use your negative traits in a positive way. It may even take a fundamental change in worldview.
I tend to be understanding even to bullies if I see them strugling with the fact that they have a need to humiliate others. But I don't tolerate anyone taking pleasure from other's suffering.
You even wonder why people hate the current generation?
They are week, cry babies. No one is aloud to tell them no, or disaplin them in any good way.
I'm only 29, so I am, unfortunately port if thus generation. I was bullied for a large part of my life, and that's why I'm not a whiny baby like others my age. I was coddled in any way, and I am GLAD of this. I'd thank every bully I've ever had in my life if I could. I am frequently in touch with a lot of them, and they are some of my best friends. Bullying (to an extent) makes you stronger. Yes, I do believe bullying past throughout a kid in a trash can or make fun of them for being short, etc.. isn't great. But the fact is, it's a part of life, for most of our lives.
People need to get over it and move on, stop feeling sorry for themselves, let it make you stronger. And guess what will happen.
We will earn the respect of the older generations, and we will flourish as a result.
I have 3 kids, and they are occasionally bullied. I let it happen, as long as it isn't physical, and then talk to them later about it. And you know what? They are the kindest, most loving, thoughtful, and caring to other kids because of it. And when they are bullied, it bothers them very little, and they move on.
Coping is a LIFE skill we as a society are stripp8ng away from the young. God help this world in the near future...
As for being an adult and being bullied. My word, grow a pair. If they hit you, that's one thing, but if they make fun of you in any way possible and do other childish things, who cares. Get over it, have some self respect and move on. For the love of God, move on.
I don't understand why you're getting the downvotes. Kids of all ages need to push back when bullying happens, and only rely on parental or institutional support if absolutely necessary. We've got to work out our own problems whenever possible. I felt a sense of achievement when I came back at a bully and to their surprise they left me alone. Only one time did I have to get my Dad involved; I was in 5th grade and a few junior high kids were kicking my ass on a regular basis. I was in the room when he called one of the guys dad, he was very polite, but man the beatings got turned off in a heartbeat. And I'm not proud that I bullied a few kids along the way either. I was giving this geeky 6th grader a bad time, and he must have been used to it, because he took me out with one punch to the head. The last time I fucked with anybody.
Always will be bullies in this world bruh. Just learn to stand up for yourself.
From my view its more pathetic to allow yourself to be bullied whether in school or in the workplace or just in your everyday life. If your waiting in line for something and a another guy cuts in front of you and you tell him "Hey you skipped me!" and he goes "So, do I care?" its way more pathetic to sit there and allow him to bully you then him bullying you. Its only natural bullies exist when someone sees someone who is vulnerable and weak they look to take advantage of that and get what they want from them. People assume bullies are being bullied themselves so they to take out their anger they bully others but thats mostly not the case. They do it simply because your not gonna do anything back and they know that. Telling someone isn't gonna help and it just makes things worse. Trying to reason with a bully is dumb and naive asf. What you need to do get some balls, do some push ups and fight back. Nothing solves bullying then fighting the bully physically. Even if you don't win it shows the bully your not gonna let him get his way and that'll they're gonna have to fight you every time they try and take advantage of you.
Well I know they exist but I feel like after a certain age people should just drop crap like that. At my old job there was a girl I worked with who (for what ever reason) really didn't like me. Constantly made comments like "I wish you didn't exist" "No body wants you here," stuff along those lines. At the time I was going through a really hard time so hearing that at work (Which I used as an escape) really wasn't helping my situation. looking back, I think she was really insecure with herself and projected that on to me but when I was working there it really hurt me. Ps I didn't quit the job because of her I quit because I moved
This is me: im 20. Im an adult. If you have a problem with somethin lets talk it out like adults. If its physical.. would you like to solve this issue outside man to man?
May seem rough and crude but dadgum people! you're an adult. Grow a pair and stand up to them. Nodt bullies will back down as soon as they see resistance. So it may something as simple as if they make an insult at you.. just fire something back that shows you're not scared. Dont stoop to their low level though. Be the adult while theyre childish. Theyll leave you alone.
Here’s my viewpoint on this. It has been contemplated on my behalf. Adult bullies are possibly bullies from childhood and they continue the cycle as they age. A lack of maturity. It can stem from them taking their frustrations and insecurities out on you, pure boredom and possible jealousy.
It’s pathetic but you live and learn. If this is personal and you’re referring to yourself being the target, stand your ground. If you’re the bully, well...🖕🏻
Anyone who thinks bullying is going to stop just because you're a grown up is sorely mistaken. This shits here forever, we can try to minimise it but its human nature. That doesn't make it acceptable, it just makes it akin to that annoying file on your computer that takes up too much space but can't delete for no understandable reason. (Read, Cortana)
Its caused by insecurities, nobody is free from insecurities, and nobody has never bullied or been bullied.
I agree with you. You don't want to be labeled a bully cuz it's not a good thing. It's nothing to be proud of. Unfortunately most bullies I believe don't realize they are being bullies so they do it thinking it makes them better than their victims. But they are transparent in the aspect that their insecurities and jealousy is very noticeable.
I left college because of it, the bitching and backbiting by a group to other people in the class made me stand up and tell them where to go.. it ended up they turned on me who was sick of their crap, reporting me to lecturers that made me quit... it was like high school but with adults.. not nice environment they can make people feel uncomfortable and adult bullies are very clever at the bullying as well
I experienced that on my own skin and saw on others and I can say that not the all people who we call adults really are adults. Its really pathetic like you say and its just so immature and unacceptable to see that on adults... like really? All the people called adults should have at least minimal respect for other people and their differences.
If you are still bullying someone/people after 18 years old it has now become something psychological and should really be addressed with professional help. Bullying at any age is unacceptable no matter what the situation of the person that is doing the bullying.
Yes and no. Bullies who bully at that age tend to have a firm grasp of social situations and dynamics and actually don't highlight their insecurities unless you're really looking at them transparently (when you're not the victim of course). They can be pretty manipulative and can bully because they have the support of people around them, which they get by manipulating people and making themselves likeable where it counts.
Its pathetic I agree. But its not something to be scoffed at or underestimated. They can be pretty destructive and evil.
Adult bullies are bullies that got away with everything. Bad parenting allows them to have No accountability. Results in bad adulthood later. Usually they end up jail or sexually harassment charged laid no them thinking in their mind if I got away with it in high school. Grabbing ass at work should allow me the same.
It doesn't mstter what age they sre, they are no more than a person with low self-esteem that feels a need to belittle someone to make themselves believe the illusion that they are better than the person they are jealous of.
Open your eyes people. there's always going to be bullies around. Like one day we had a kid who's my friend killed himself. Everyone felt depressed for him. The next day everyone stood outside to give respect. AND GUESS WHAT. WHAT ANNOYED ME THE MOST WAS THAT THEY STOOD OUT THERE TO MISS 1ST PERIOD. Even after that I'm still getting teased. People talking behind my back. You know that book lord of the flies? Well that's pretty much what our society has come to. Accept it. Ignore them. And most importantly don't make friends with hypocrites.
what about the person in the first response? Take LAW into effect. Tell the people who bother you "look, bother me again, and your ass is going to be in trouble." If the teachers do nothing, possibly bait a bit. Let them do something like damage property or some small offence. When they do, get the higher law involved like the principle or even the police. If the school does nothing, the police can. Also, if you demand a lawyer, you will get a lawyer. And you can sue for any and all damages that ever occur. The Lord of the Flies book was written loooong ago and takes place on a deserted island where of course law evaporates. In society, we have laws and lawyers to protect it. Use it.
@errorgoodnameunfound im not talking about law. I know it can be used. I'm just comparing the hypocrites nowadays to the kids in that book. Except nowadays kids feel bad but they still do it. They continue to say they feel bad when they bully others themselves.
Oh of course. When talking hypocrisy, I forgot to mention I fully agree. They pretend to be good to avoid real punishment. People are wonderful at being fake nowadays whether young or old.
@errorgoodnameunfound like I said before its sickening seeing these cunts wait outside just to miss first period. I'm a bit terrified as a 17 year old (about to turn 18) to see what kind of dipshits in gonna throughtout life
Immature. As high school students, almost all of us are mature enough to respect others. As an adult, respecting others should be common sense. Adult bullies are just idiots who get a high from putting others down.
My Supervisor is a bully and sadly she gets away with it, even bullies her boss Exec Director and Board of Directors. I think they show everyone their insecurities but unfortunately, they usually have lots of power!!!
I don't have that power. And as I said, the bullies in the work place usually have all the power!!! Her family is so powerful in this community nobody will touch her and she knows it.
You can't take the human out of human beings. Juvenile behaviour happens at all ages and in all walks of life. People have insecurities, it's just a question of how deep you have to dig to find them. Find the right trigger and you will see perfectly respectable people acting like utter fools.
Very few people have gone through life without being catty at times.
They need to figure out where their insecurity lies to get past it-whether they need help doing that or not. They will never have a happy and fulfilling life until they do.
But the interesting thing, is that bullying probably is a lot more common than people think and comes in subtler forms. Just think of the bitchiness in office environments for example. It's insufferable. Most people wouldn't recognise they were doing it. Or how often does office 'banter' cross a line?
Also, there's an argument that bullying could have some utility in terms of waking the person up to assert themselves.
Adult bullies aka assholes and bitches. That's why teaching kids how to deal with being bullied could be an important life skill. Because power corrupts and people who didn't bully or were bullied as kids could become bullies as adults.
I don’t care, bullies look for a response in some way. They can show the world that they are assholes, and I’ll continue living my life because who cares what one asshole says.
I totally agree Shauna... it's sick making that adult people behave like that :-( If I were the boss I'd show them the hole made by the carpenter. One-way ticket!
Always stand up to bullies and protect the weak, even If you don't know them. If you show weakness bullies will pick on you even more, threaten physical violence if necessary. If someone throws a stone at you you throw a rock back at them
I treat people according to how they treat people or sound like while I read your post. I am a pretty good judge of character, unless you are very good at being fake. You can't hide your true self forever.
I think it’s pathetic. Usually I only see someone acting like this after they’ve been promoted. They tend to boss other people unnecessarily and usually threaten to have others fired.
There are a lot of petty, insecure and maladjusted people out there. Some people have just been raised poorly. No matter what you're going to have to deal with it
Whoever can be bullied over 18 years of age, that one has a real problem as well, not just the bullies. People should learn how to protect themselves instead of playing the victim as that's the latest trend, so they can whine via social networks or play the SJW on YouTube.
I think they're pathetic. A co-worker of mine is kind of a bully. The thing is, the stuff I get bullied about from this person, they're guilty of. I just laugh now whenever the person walks past my desk.
Good for you, you aren't a whiny baby about being bullied. It is easier to laugh at them then to whine about it isn't it? I bet it rarely even makes you feel bad does it?
Bullying is wrong, we are all equal and people should out others Down. What's even worse is those who see it happening and just past past doing nothing. They're just has bad as those who are doing it.
They are ignorant selfish bastards. They never grew up. never got knocked down a peg. Sadly will never grow up. A bully bullies because they are insecure about themselves.
Hell, yes; they perform an essential function in society. I was well and thoroughly bullied for years when I was in grade and middle school, because much of bullying stems from jealousy, but I'm better for it today.
Not sure what you define as a bully, but I define them and know plenty of gaslighters, victim blamers and things of the sort that makes others feel like shit.
The worst is that they're still highly admired by many people who hate the weak for being weak ("if they never grow and change its because they want").
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