Why is a woman’s virginity so important and sought after in many parts of the world?

[PoliceLivesMatter]

[MrMysteryMan]

You know what's funny, I didn't know a person's penis was so transforming that it will alter the very DNA of a person from "pure" (whatever that means) to tainted... Like is our penis that golden? Or is our penis, for that matter, that damaging or dirty that it taints purity?

I thought sex was a beautiful thing (maybe looks ugly at times though) that you shared with people you actually want to be with and share your emotions that you can not share any other way with someone you care for? Baring the times where people just have drunken sex or get rapped or what not. I suppose the most basic biological thing about sex is that it's main reason is for procreation, for all living beings. But, there are only a few beings on the planet, less than a handful that actually derive pleasure and emotional connection from it. Us being the most advanced of the species are blessed with this gift. And I'm not sure why that gift is looked down upon so much.

Yes, virginity or the ideal of it, since it's not a real physical thing really, may make the virgin feel special or significant or "pure" is it? It must be that the purity is a mental purity or an innocence kept, about the understanding of what that sexual union and the emotions that can be shared are about. Maybe kind of like how "God" wanted Eve not to eat from the "tree of knowledge and understanding". But that tree was about us knowing what good and evil is. Sort of keeping us in a state of human bliss, so as not to be tempted by what was created out of that, "sin". But even then, sex is not a evil act or it wouldn't be used for procreation. Neither are you guaranteed not to be of the understanding of "the sins of the flesh" even if you are a virgin. Also, are you really benefiting from being a virgin? To a point, sure. You won't really be open to sexual diseases. But really, I'm trying to think of what true benefits you are getting from virginity? From either having it or looking for one. There is no guarantee that one you are with a virgin, they will want to be with you and only you, even with marriage. On the same toke, there is no guarantee that you are going to love the person you're with because they are your first. Also, if anything, usually the sex is more emotional and intimate with someone that is NOT a virgin, since they understand already what is involved and what they want out of it or what will feel good for them and the other person.

[MrMysteryMan]

Going back to that "tree of understanding" analogy, I believe "God" was trying to protect us from that knowledge because he knew that the gift He gave us of "free will", can lead to chaos
in the wrong hands, and hence, once we found out about what good and evil can do (and there are material and carnal benefits you can get from evil), chaos would arise and sins would start to flourish. I think that's what the virgin this also doing. It's a way to protect us from over indulgence or getting into situations where we use our sexual knowledge as a means to gain or as a weapon. Or, get into situations where we are faced with an uphill battle of trying to survive this world from getting pregnant or not being able to face the negatives behind sexual activity. So to protect the masses and society, the idea of virginity is ingrained and preached and emphasized and honored. Unfortunately, you put anything in such high regards, and that too can be used as a means to gain or to influence.

[MrMysteryMan]

Now people who are virgins believe they are of higher importance or regard and are held at that pedestal. Which is very dangerous and vain in it of itself.

So I do believe that there should be some attention and care about how sexual contact and intimacy is, but virginity is never a guarantee of high value in my eyes.

[englisc]

This is the reason:

1.bp.blogspot.com/.../teachman

And there are many other studies which show the same result.

Nowadays with the rise of feminism, hook-up culture and the idea that people should be free to fuck as many people they want without being shamed for it, people refuse to accept the truth that the likelihood of divorce increases when a person is more promiscuous. They think that the idea that virginity should be valued is "outdated", and that it's completely random. That someone can sleep with loads of people and that they're just as likely to stay married as someone who has stayed a virgin or has only had one or two partners, when the statistics prove otherwise.

This was the original reason that virginity was so important and valued. Nowadays though, again with the rise of hook-up culture, the destruction of family values and the degenerate obsession with sex in modern culture, sex with a virgin has just become another sexual experience to add to the "bucket".

[wolfcat87]

The vast majority of people never divorce no matter how many partners they've had, so the increase is not worth even discussing. lol

[InTimoreDei]

Nailed it. But of course, there are gonna be negative votes from girls on this because they wanna be part of that hook-up culture with no consequences.

[Volvagia]

@InTimoreDei no I downvoted cuz I don't agree with his opinion. Dont gotta be "a part of hookup culture" to do that lmao

[9teen]

I couldn't have explained it better but I could add: the reason why people are less likely to bond if they have had many partners is because their hormones basically got messed up. See, sex isn't only a matter of physical pleasure. It affects someone mentally as well. During intercourse a woman releases a certain hormone which makes her bond stronger to the guy (preparing for parenthood) Now, if she had done it with more than one it will mess up. Sex is after all for reproduction in the first place.

[9teen]

That's why divorce rates amongs those people is the highest and the main reason is cheating according to studies. Why? Because they're incapable of bonding completely unlike a virgin.

Guys just automatically desire a virgin over a non virgin because of this (they subconsciously know they won't be any good as a wife and studies prove it) but also because purity is a desirable feminine trait. Throughout history men have always been the dangerous sex. The opposite is just attractive.

All in all, it's biological as well as psychological. No matter how high or low people jump, it will never change. Even many promiscuous guys prefer a virgin for a serious long-term relationship.

[englisc]

@wolfcat87

Around 50% of people divorce. As our society has become more promiscuous, divorces rates have risen. Even if you were right in saying that, the fact is that the more partners a woman has the more likely she is to divorce, and when you're a man looking to find a wife and you want to find one you're gonna last with then it is worth thinking about, although to most men this is just common sense anyway that a woman who only engages in very few relationships and views sex as a much more important thing to be shared with someone they have a deep connection with is more likely to be a keeper than one who sleeps with many. You and the other girl are disagreeing with statistics that have been shown in many different studies, it isn't just an opinion based on nothing. It's like saying that smoking doesn't cause lung cancer because some non-smokers get lung cancer, as if it's completely random.

[englisc]

@9teen

That may be true, but it also could perhaps be a similar question to what comes first: the chicken or the egg? If someone doesn't have such a strong physical/emotional reaction to sex in the first place, then they're more likely to sleep around. If they do, then they won't. And the number of partners that someone has, as well as their attitude towards promiscuity, casual sex, high vs low number of partners etc. indicates which person they are.

[wolfcat87]

Actually, 50% of people do not divorce. That percentage comes from looking up the number of overall marriages compared to divorces, but it's skewed by people who marry and divorce more than once. In reality the number of people who stay married overall is higher.

Also, divorce rates have risen due to the fact that they are pushed by society. I've been with my husband for over 10 years. You would not believe how many times single and divorced friends have pushed us to divorce over the most trivial things! It's not about sex. It's about people not valuing marriage and misery loving company.

[englisc]

@wolfcat87

True, I meant to say that 50% of marriages end in divorce not "people". It still doesn't change the fact that more promiscuous people are more likely to divorce and that it's a factor that many men especially look at when choosing a wife.

What you say about people not valuing marriage is also true. However again, who is the least likely to value marriage? Somebody who believes that sex is something that is special and should only be shared with somebody they love in a committed relationship? Somebody who is very careful about who they sleep with because they think this way? Or someone who thinks that casual sex is just fine and who has less of an emotional attachment to sex?

[wolfcat87]

Again, sex and marriage are two very different things. That's like saying a person who loves many people is incapable of loving a husband because they've loved too many people... It simply is not true. People who have more partners are slightly more likely to divorce overall, but they are still by far likely to get married. I had a debate about this with someone on here, and at the most they do not divorce more than the average person does. Virgins are likely to stay married even if they are miserable and hate sex with their partner. That's how you end up with spouses who hate each other for life. My husband had religious parents like this. they would have been better off divorced than putting their kids through their issues. Not divorcing is not always the better option.

[wolfcat87]

@9teen I would like to see research showing that most guys prefer virgins for long term relationships. Most men do not care at all as far as I can see in the U. S., otherwise there would be a bidding war for virgins. There's not though. Even the virgins up for bid don't get that many bidders.

[9teen]

When it comes to long-term relationships, there was even less difference between the genders, with both appearing reluctant to get involved with someone with a lot of previous sexual partners.

“The effect of past partner number was very large,” the study concluded. “Thus, contrary to the idea that male promiscuity is tolerated but female promiscuity is not, both sexes expressed equal reluctance to get involved with someone with an overly extensive sexual history.”

Also there was this study about that 90% of Asian guys would prefer a virgin way more than an experienced girl.

One of the most asked questions is also why men prefer or even want virgins. That question isn't that often asked for nothing.

[vishna]

Brainstorming:
Honestly, I don't know because it isn't 100% needed (bc a woman can not have a hymen and still be a virgin or be a virgin during marriage and cheat later). Maybe it's more present in very patriarchal society because female sexuality would be less celebrated and men have more control over all aspects of a woman's life. Also, depending on the religion, this would play a huge part (however, if you look at different Christian and Muslim majority countries the difference in culture is incredible)

Final Decision: I think it's as one person said in the quora link, women were seen as property to be controlled for much of history. And so virginity was but one aspect to be controlled. In cultures were virginity is valued, most often women are also severely limited in everyday life and their opportunities, this is why I agree that it's more than just the virginity, it's about several factors religion, culture, and control.

www.soc.ucsb.edu/.../cultural-significance-tact-hymen
www.quora.com/What-are-the-cultural-reasons-for-placing-value-and-significance-on-virginity
www.futurescopes.com/.../virginity-different-cultures

[Anonymous]

It's from religions and cultures that value modesty of body parts before marriage. I am someone who agrees with the teachings and I think it applies to both men and women [if you follow the practices that is] to not have premarital relationships or engage in behaviors that make others look at you sexually [others who are not your spouse]
now for woman's virginity, the country i am from, it's not as religious but it holds some beliefs or traditions that make the women have the status of someone who is nurturing, strong and modest. and they are told to be cautious with guys [specially with those who have bad reputation or those who try to be friends but have flawed intention] because they fear that if the guy does something or they do something with each others' consent and gets pregnant then she will face bad reputation, in some culture people can be harsh since they are not as educated, so the girl faces hardship like gossips and backbites from other neighbors when she faces consequences of these kind of relationships.

[CubsterShura]

I second this opinion.

[AquaBoo]

I third this opinion.

[soomin_kim]

I forth this opinion

[jimyee]

*fourth... unless you're bringing forth a new opinion🙄

[soomin_kim]

@jimyee thank you for correcting it was a typo sorry~ 😊

[BrianMerritt]

I agree. I'm a virgin by choice.

[CubsterShura]

1) The first time is quite special so there is a matter of emotional attachment, I guess.
2) This is the main reason. If a woman isn't pure, tends to be promiscuous and all, then once she is pregnant no one can tell who is the real father. DNA test did not exist forever and even now not everyone can afford it. What if she brings another man's child in the family and that kid introduces a new genetic disease?

Whether or not I would be with non-violent depends on how he lost it. If he is divorced and lost it to his previous wife I'd be fine but if he has sex outside of marriage... Then I don't think so. Unless it's like he realized his mistake and us not doing it anymore. But losing one's virginity doesn't make someone impure.

I absolutely hate the way people talk about women like products 'don't buy if seal is broken' I could tell the same about men too, you know? That I don't wanna use something that has been used by others. I need a fresh, unused package. Absolute Bullshit. Humans aren't products.

[CubsterShura]

Non-virgin* dammit autocorrect.

[Pugall]

Hi chubstershura.. Can we talk privately about this topic? I grew up in culture which gives importance to virginity. Like in many other cultures, virginity means purity.. Tbh, I have the feeling that anybody no matyer man or woman, who has mean he/she has been used up. Thats what I would like to talk personally with you

[Pugall]

Can?

[CubsterShura]

@Pugall same here the only time we don't care about lost virginity is for the divorcees cause they definitely lost theirs with their ex spouse.

[Pugall]

May I know where are you from?

[Pugall]

I can't message you. It only allows from people you follow

[CubsterShura]

@Pugall I'm from Mars, and you don't need to pm me.

[LittleSally]

I always get the feeling men think other men are disgusting and that they've 'corrupted' or spoiled the women (their bodies) they've slept with so they want one that hasn't had sex yet...
This is just what I've noticed.

[PoliceLivesMatter]

This is 100% correct.

[cherryphi82]

So men hate themselves?

[PoliceLivesMatter]

No, I just don’t feel good knowing the woman I love or like has been fucked by another man before me.

[cherryphi82]

But what does that have to do with the worth of a woman? It sounds more like this is sexual insecurity on part of the man. No offens

[mateus]

You are just a selfish nutcase. So do you think women should feel the same way if you have had sex before?

[hopelessromantic15]

policelivesmatter, don’t you think the woman might feel the same way about her man?

[PoliceLivesMatter]

@hopelessromantic15
Yes

[lumos]

Because humans are dumb and think that sex is somehow gross or something that ”taints” or ”ruins” a person, when in reality, a mindset like that is a million times more damaging. It gives people a seriously unhealthy view of sex and women. It’s up there with porn when it comes to unrealistic standards.

[soul1110]

Not sure why so many people are against your point of view.
It's not the same to have had 2-3 partners in an actual relationship next to someone who sleeps around.

[lumos]

@soul1110 right? And even if someone sleeps around, they have all the right to do it, especially if they're doing everything they can to stay safe from STDs and pregnancies.

[MzAsh]

Taking a woman’s virginity signals ownership to the male it goes to. I think it’s a prehistoric idea we could do without.

[skeetskeetskeet]

Preach on sister!!!

[skeetskeetskeet]

Its really kinda over rated anyways.. besides a pussy gets better with a few miles on it...

[Doctor_Strix]

Darn it! I was gonna say the same exact thing! But you hit it right on the head!

[skeetskeetskeet]

I'd never steer ya wrong... Actually yeah I would

[Anon-ymous1]

Well, the first sentence is correct; the second is not. Batting.500 isn't bad though.

[skeetskeetskeet]

50 % is better odds than vegas

[JimRSmith]

Plenty of good reasons, I guess.

She won't have stds. She won't have children to feed without the support of a partner. Those are just off the top of my head.

Unlike what plenty of people her would have us believe, it's not all about oppression by some imaginary patriarchy.

I'd add the coda that in western countries, many of these reasons are no longer applicable, but that there are valid historical reasons why they were socially important.

[madhatters4]

silly of notions of female purity and quality as a partner

most likely based on religious tenants

[proteingal]

Why is it silly
Some men have self respect and date pure girls

[madhatters4]

@proteingal and that is the only way to have self respect? if a guy dates a girl who isn't a virgin they have no self respect? a person's value as a human is what has or hasn't gone on between their legs?

[proteingal]

Didn't say the only way. But if a guy doesn't care about how many men have been intimate with her then he doesn't think of himself as a special man

[madhatters4]

@proteingal that's simply your opinion, which is fine but it's just an opinion

if a person thinks female purity and quality as a partner are intertwined then they subscribe to silly notions. hopefully as a woman you would agree your quality as a person isn't wrapped up in your virginity

[proteingal]

Saving myself for the right man does show a value of mine.
Men who value this are not silly.
In my opinion men who don't care about how many men screwed their women are betas

[madhatters4]

@proteingal a value of yours. not your value. and i never said men who value it are silly. i said they are silly notions of female purity and their quality as a partner... you are inserting a lot into a very simple statement. i never said anyone is silly. i never said people shouldn't care about how many partners a person's had

i said in response to why virginity is so sought after are silly notions of the quality of a partner being wrapped up in their sexual purity

[proteingal]

Yes a value of mine because I have many values. Possesive men don't like to settle down with a woman who has shared her body with other men so easily.

[madhatters4]

@proteingal if you think your value as a person is tied to your virginity then that's fine. i disagree. i don't think you can speak for all possessive men. there is certainly nothing in the alpha/beta construct that speaks to the sexual purity of the women they speak (none)

why exactly have you chosen to challenge my opinion which is similar to most others here is beyond me. you have a difference of opinion. that's fine there is no sense in trying to convince me that your opinion is correct and i'm not asking you to believe my opinion is correct

[proteingal]

You said it's silly to value purity. That's why I explained that it's not silly.
Saving myself for the right man does show how much I respect myself. What kinda guy would be upset that I didn't let any man fuck me. Only weak cuckoldish men

[madhatters4]

@proteingal i did not i said it is based on silly notions that female purity and quality as partner go in tandem... you've inserted enough things i simply haven't said into this conversation. i don't know if it's a comprehension thing, perhaps it's not understanding the word notion, or simply an objection to me personally but this method of you suggesting i said things i literally have not is getting rather annoying

[proteingal]

My fiancee is so proud that I'm a virgin

[madhatters4]

@proteingal ok. congrats by the way on your pending nuptials.

[proteingal]

Thanks. He said its good to know that no man has been inside me. It turns him on too much.

[PoliceLivesMatter]

@proteingal
I agree with what you’ve said, it’s spot on. I think it’s important to have good morals and values and valuing a woman’s reserving of herself to a man she has vetted, gotten to know, and truly love IS good and should be valued. It’s a demonstration of intelligent and self respect for sure.

[madhatters4]

how can you say someone lacks self respect because they have sex before marriage? or is any less intelligent? like what science or study shows women who have sex before marriage lack either self respect or are of lesser intelligence

[proteingal]

Thanks asker. Not all people are capable to understand logic and common sense. Why would any dominant man desire her wife to have had other men's dicks inside her?

[proteingal]

OP having sex before marriage with boyfriend is ok. But... not with a one night stand. Can't imagine a normal man dating a woman who has been intimate with a stranger

[proteingal]

OP having sex before marriage with boyfriend is ok. But... not with a one night stand. Can't imagine a normal man dating a woman who has been intimate with a stranger

[madhatters4]

@proteingal i think it's not about "desiring" it but simply not judging the quality of a partner because they had sex

[PoliceLivesMatter]

@madhatters4 I never said sex before marriage specifically.

@proteingal I’m glad you think this way, because there have been studies that show that those with more sexual partners before marriage or long term relationships have a higher likelihood of those things not working out in the long run. There has to be something to that. Biological? Maybe. Again, if truly love a woman, I would secretly hope she hasn’t been with a lot of men and if I found out she was a virgin, there’s something special in that for sure. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I think the emotions are stronger. I think the marriage is stronger. Relationships are stronger and connection is stronger.

[PoliceLivesMatter]

@proteingal, yes, sex before marriage is fine, but ONS? Most of ONS are between people that don’t each other that well and are practically strangers. If you’ve been a person for awhile and decide to have sex with them before marriage, that’s fine.

[madhatters4]

also about not being so dang judgmental

[proteingal]

True asker. Women who are celibate before marriage do take family and commitement too seriously. They do ANYTHING for keeping peace and love in marriage

[PoliceLivesMatter]

Again, I’m not a virgin lover or hunter, but I do believe that these values and qualities are GOOD. The principle is good and when choosing the right person who shares similar principles, it can be a multiplier effect. Meaning, it can be a unique experience that no one else who doesn’t hold these values will be able to understand.

[proteingal]

What is bad about being judgmental when it comes to his personal life and preferences? Why to stop him from dating whoever he wants!

[proteingal]

Asker you don't have to be a virgin hunter in order to understand that its better to date a girl who has saved herself than a girl who hasn't

[madhatters4]

What is bad about being judgmental when it comes to his personal life and preferences?
that is specifically the question i am asking.

and i don't see how this statement correlates or answers why you would be so judgmental of people with difference personal beliefs regarding sex that don't impact you
"Why to stop him from dating whoever he wants!"

[PoliceLivesMatter]

@proteingal
Yeah you’re right, but I only say that because some woman called me that on here one time.

[proteingal]

Asker. They do because they hate not to be desired. Lol
They try to intimidate you

[PoliceLivesMatter]

@proteingal you could be right lol

[proteingal]

Im not judgmental of people. I have standards.

[madhatters4]

"But if a guy doesn't care about how many men have been intimate with her then he doesn't think of himself as a special man"
"In my opinion men who don't care about how many men screwed their women are betas "
"What kinda guy would be upset that I didn't let any man fuck me. Only weak cuckoldish men"
"Not all people are capable to understand logic and common sense."
"Why would any dominant man desire her wife to have had other men's dicks inside her? "
"Can't imagine a NORMAL man dating a woman who has been intimate with a stranger "

you're not judgmental of people?

[proteingal]

Lol if thats the case when Everyone is judgmental including those who called the asker a virgin hunter. But you don't judge them. You judge me.

[madhatters4]

@proteingal i'd challenge you to show me there i judged you for your beliefs? especially judged you negatively... this isn't about everyone it's about you. just because others judge doesn't mean you should and especially when conversing with me who has not judged you or the asker for your personal positions on sex should there be judgments caste.

i agree about one night stands. they aren't for me. i've never done it but i'm not going to judge people for it. that's their thing. it's not for me, i may disagree with it in terms of values but they aren't necessarily bad people they just have different values

[proteingal]

You said valuing virginity is silly

[madhatters4]

@proteingal one i did not. never said that. and again show me the quote where i said that. i said silly notions of female purity and quality as a partner is why women's virginity is so important and so after.
that's not a judgment of you or virginity. it's the judgment of a notion

[proteingal]

Lol u judged the notion?

[madhatters4]

@proteingal yes i did. which is no judgment of an individual and certainly not a judgment of you or your virginity. i never EVER said virginity is silly or valuing virginity is silly

you may take offense because i don't value virginity the same way but that is simply use having a different opinion.

[proteingal]

"if a person thinks female purity and quality as a partner are intertwined then they subscribe to silly notions"
If a person thinks sexual history and quality as a partner are not intertwined then they subscribe to silly notions.
No judgment lol

[madhatters4]

@proteingal i judge the notions to be silly yes. again not a judgment of people but the notion

[madhatters4]

that's not judging them as a person like, less of a man, beta, cuckoldish or any other specific condemnation of a person you mentioned

[proteingal]

Ths notions were creted by whom?

[madhatters4]

@proteingal religious tenants societal. gender constructs

[proteingal]

By people. You see? Judging notions means judging peopld.

[proteingal]

I do judge but i dont judge everyone

[madhatters4]

@proteingal i'm judging a concept not people. a concept is not a person. if i say pro-choice is a silly notion i'm not judging people i'm judging the concept of pro-choice

[madhatters4]

say what you want. i'm exhaused by this. it's been over 24hours of you misquoting, misunderstanding, etc. i just can't anymore. you think i judged you because i judged a concept then fine.

[NineBreaker]

I think that there are a number if reasons because different cultures may have different beliefs about virginity and sexuality generally.

One aspect is the archaic belief in Telegony.

A Google search gives you this Wikipedia entry:
Telegony a theory in heredity, holding that offspring can inherit the characteristics of a previous mate of the female parent; thus the child of a widowed or remarried woman might partake of traits of a previous husband. Experiments on several species failed to provide any evidence that offspring would inherit any character from their mother's previous mates.[1][medical citation needed] A similar phenomenon, whereby environmental (non-genetic) traits were passed, was later discovered in a species of fly.
Source: en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telegony_(pregnancy)

Even if people don't believe in it today, it may still influence people's customs today. I speculate that it may have arised from human beings observing that some animals have females with the ability to store a male's sperm for future use like in some birds and reptiles (Source: en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_sperm_storage .) Basically, Female and Male 1 copulate, and sure is stored. Human beings observe Female copulating with Male 2 but Male 1 stored sperm fertilizes the eggs. So the offspring resemble Male 1, and not Male 2.

[skytatoe]

Well I think a lot of guys value stability deep down. They like to have an area of their life completely sorted so they can focus on sth else.
A lot like the idea of permanency, undying love, a marriage that doesn't break, bond that lasts forever etc...

Past behaviour is a known predictor, though in no way absolute, of future behaviour. So a woman who has had boyfriends, has hooked up, has broken up is likely to do it again. So when a man enters a relationship with that girl or marries her, its not settled. Its not over. Because he still always has to put in effort, potentially keep competing with other possibly better men. Because if he doesn't and the relationship goes to shit, he may lose her.

A vigin is of course no guarantee of anything. But I think probably guys like that idea that she will be there, she won't go looking for anything else because that's all she's known or wants.
Then also a virgin is likely to have less standards to impose since she has less experience and thus some guys might like that they can be more in control through that aspect.

Finally there's also an ego thing. When you like a girl usually its uncomfortable to go picturing other dudes railing her. So having a girl that a bunch of other guys have slept with is damaging to that ego. Its breaking that iddea that you're so amazing that you're the only one she could ever want or be with, that you're special.
Further, a lot of guys take another guy touching their girlfriend as a mark of disrespect. So perhaps a girl with a past of other guys sleeping with her can be translated into a loss of respectability for the guy since he has a girl who has been touched by other guys, who he's let other guys be with (even though he wasn't even there at the time).

I think all of these factors are the answer to why its so sought after. Of course it varies from person to person and there could be entirely different reasons but that how I think it most probably is.

[Anonymous]

I am 20 and I keep it till I fall for someone. I can’t even count I could fuck tons of guys by far but how would I feel about my body?
I want to love the person I’ll have my first time with and I want him to love me too, so It will be special for both of us. Even if we break up later I need to know that I loved him and he loved me and what we had was beautiful.

That being said I have a high sex drive and If not my self control I would be a very experienced slut probably 😂

Instead of leaving part of me to many guys I’d rather commit to someone I pove and express all of me to him, with my high drive and all.
I don’t wait till marriage, I wait till I find a true love, so I won’t have to regret that I had my first time with a man for who I was just another girl.

Does this make sense?

[Syrian_survivor]

Yes 👏
Yes 👏
Yes 👏
Marry me! >.<

[Opinion Owner]

4 years older than you xD

[Syrian_survivor]

Doesn't matter my ex was 20 too
Dammit world xD

[I_Do_Mind]

Ok first of all you said "even if we break up later I need to know that I loved him and he loved me", which is pretty stupid. What do you think love is? It sounds to me that you are waiting for something that does not exist. I mean "break up". You are too young and stupid, you need to grow a frontal lobe quick.

[girlcooties]

I kind of agree with what she’s saying ^ if you want to wait for someone you love/ someone who loves you back that’s fine but I don’t think you should expect your first time to be special bc you will probably be disappointed when it isn’t.

[I_Do_Mind]

@girlcooties So to try that out you have to leave part of you with many guys, because how do you know it is love until it is over?

[Opinion Owner]

@girlcooties I know It will be awkward and nothing like we see in movies and things. But It will still feel special to me because I have never had it before.

[I_Do_Mind]

You will at some point be with multiple guys, because as you said "even if we break up" so what makes you different from any other girl that has sex?

[girlcooties]

@I_Do_Mind this is true. I lost my virginity to a boyfriend I had in HS we loved each other very much. Or at least I thought we did I don't know. I thought my first time was going to be special because we loved each other it wasn’t. It was just sex.. we ended up breaking up 3 years later and tbh he’s an idiot lol

[Opinion Owner]

@I_Do_Mind Who claims i’m different than others? That’s you who’s concerned about it. I don’t judge anyone.
Let’s not talk about something that’s less likely to happen, I’d rather have one guy all my life and if we are serious about each other we won’t break up, cause I’m able to maintain long relationships and won’t settle for anything less.

[I_Do_Mind]

So how do you know if it is love, where is the line? I feel like many individuals think they are in love, so if they think it than their relationship was not "love". The word alone is strange to me because when described it is either fairy tale dream land or mutual sexual attraction that starts were we all know. Keeping ones virginity is just not finding a mutual connection, but those who did not wait did not have to, because they found a mutual connection. I just don't see the value aspect she speaks of here because those who don't wait do value themselves, they just found someone they consider they love and they broke up.

[Opinion Owner]

@I_Do_Mind I never said I value myself more than any other girls. I’ve had many times when I thought I was in love but I try not to act on my feelings right away and not have sex rightaway. Time always shows this is love or not. I fell in love with someone who lived in dofferent country and I was going to have sex with him when he visited m in Spring but we never made it to Spring. We broke up.

[I_Do_Mind]

Honestly it seems like if anyone choses to be with anyone sexually it is defined as love to them. High schoolers say they are in love, but if high schoolers can consider themselves in love and they go in expecting that there will eventually be a break up is it really love or finding someone who agrees to satisfy new urges with, because at this time hormones literally take over the body, so is love not just hormones and false labels? What is called a connection is but a mutual physical and sexual attraction.

[kaajal]

Thats a good point you made. And i agree with you. Also, id like to add a small point. See, you talked about love. But sometimes even when you love someone a lot, it is not necessarily reciprocated in the same amount of love. For all you know, they might be half in love with you in comparison to you. Had i had sex with the guys i thought i loved and who i thought loved me, honestly id have regretted it today because they barely loved me and treated me like shit during the difficult times. So now, i dont think ill have sex with anyone else but my husband because marriage is a big deal, a legal contract, a huge responsibility, the promise to love someone till the end of their days. If someone promises to love me for the rest of my life, and marry me, id consider him as the only guy deserving to be intimate with. Sex is not just an act of pleasure for me, it is special and only someone that special may partake in that with me.

[Opinion Owner]

@I_Do_Mind Then I have never been in love because I have never felt safe enough to have sex with someone. That’s about vulnerability to me and I have never been in love and mever been vulnerable to the guy apart from that one guy who I had a ldr. I am just as horny as I was in my teens.

[I_Do_Mind]

That is fine, it is normal, you should hold out if you feel this way but I sense there is a greater reason why you want to hold out, that is non of my business. For me it is religion, just me personally. Safe and vulnerability are factors that are not well connected with sex alone, I really don't know what to say this definition is just not love take more time to think about what love really is, really get to the center of it, excluding sexual feelings or a description that is friendship. I will make a take or something that explores this more later. But for now I have homework to do.

[Hungry_Shark]

Respect

[Syrian_survivor]

So uh
We're still getting married right? >.>

[I_Do_Mind]

@Hungry_Shark Why did you write respect?

[Lionelmesssi]

@I_Do_Mind hahahaha you are so annoying and your name fits u exactly :D

[Lionelmesssi]

It make sense but why wouldn't you marry the person you loved and have sex with him forever?

[Opinion Owner]

@Lionelmesssi Of course I’ll marry him but It’s better to know the person I’m marrying inside and out.

[I_Do_Mind]

You're welcome I got you many likes for this just by responding

[moonyshiner]

For me my virginity is very precious to me it has a sentimental value I promised my self no matter how many times I date or fall in love, there is only one man who can take it from me and that's the man who look at my heart first before my body. And I still didn't meet that man lol.

[Hungry_Shark]

Respect

[DeltoidFan]

One day you will! 🍀

[mateus]

All good but lets go back to the above mentioned car analogy. If the car is fairly new model but has a lot of miles the value goes down. But if that car has no miles but it's been siting in the showroom for a long time that means there is a reason why people are not buying it. If you are trully 27 and have had no sex by now there is some problem. That special someone at the end is going to be a man that has been rejected so many times, and is so socially inept, that he has no option but to deal with a 30 year old virgin.

[TheHolyDarkness]

Hello. You seem relatable. Want to talk further? Let me know.

[Lionelmesssi]

In turkey yes, but in the U. S. there're a very few people think like this. By the way I lived two years in Sivas, Turkey ;)

[moonyshiner]

@mateus I respect your point of view but I rather be a parked car which no one can afford buying than to be a cheap used car that anyone can have. I don't see how being a 27 and virgin might effect my future relationships or be a bad thing. My ex's didn't even have a problem with me rejecting sex they respected my choice they were with me for my great personality, my sweet heart and my beautiful face/body.

Fyi I was always the one who broke up first cause I didn't find what I was looking for in a man. Which is totally fine cause there are many men in the world to keep searching lol.

And by the time I find him he won't be some desperate guy who have no OPTION! he will be a one lucky man who will value my virgin ass and get the pleasure to pop my cherry 👍

[moonyshiner]

@Hungry_Shark thanks 🌹

[moonyshiner]

@DeltoidFan awww I know I will I am just waiting for the right man the right time hahahq

[moonyshiner]

@TheHolyDarkness sure why not, message me anytime 👍

[moonyshiner]

@Lionelmesssi I think it depends on the girl how sensetive she is and how romantic she is I am the very sweet romantic type. Actually I have a very close online friend from America she is 24 years old and virgin. she share with me the same belief. Good to know you were in turkey. For work?

[Lionelmesssi]

I know, I loved a turkish girl there she was so sweet and smart, actually she was my first love 😊 no, I went to turkey because of the UNHCR so I can come to the United states. Iraq is not good for Christians anymore.

[moonyshiner]

@Lionelmesssi aww that's so sweet I can't even remember when was my first love hahaha it was a long time ago 😅. Oh I see, so you are originally from Iraq? I am half Turkish half Arab (Yemeni) hehe.

[coralee]

It's a remnant of our primitive past that many people have yet to let go of. You have to remember that a part of our brain is still wired to "continue the species" on some level most of us do have the instinct to reproduce. Before the invention of a paternity test, the only way to ensure that you were in fact the father of the child you were raising was to make "sure" your wife never had sex with anyone else. Virginity was one of the protections against inadvertently wasting all your resources raising another man's child. The thing is most of their virginity tests are demonstrably false. Most of the common knowledge surrounding the hymen is an utter myth, and that was proven back in the 70's (a doctor was examining a 50 year old prostitute who low and behold had a perfectly intact hymen.) It's the ghost of another time, one that needs to be thrown out as it has no real world value anymore.

[girl2034]

I am still a virgin and the only reason I still am is because I believe in god and am too scared to give it away to just some random man I have the hots for.. Also the emotional/spiritual connection you can have with that person if the sex was good can stick with you for the rest of your life. There's a reason why it says in the bible you become as one with the person you slept with..

[onewoundedgal]

Absolutely! I wish most people understood THIS!

[KLASKY]

Have you ever had a boyfriend before?

[DonyaleLuna]

I am also a virgin. I’m scared to just give to any guy I’m lusting over as well.

[KLASKY]

@DonyaleLuna have you ever had a bf/romantic bond with a guy before?

[lilaqua]

It’s an inheritance thing. You’ll find that it was really important in cultures that are patrilineal (eg most) since they had no way of proving the man’s child was his own so ensuring a virgin was important. In the very few matrilineal societies it didn’t matter because the man’s status didn’t reflect on the child only the mother’s. It also only really mattered in wealthier families, where inheritance was an issue. For most peasant people it wasn’t an issue, because there was nothing to inherit. Peasant personal lives are actually quite interesting in Europe, they kind of just fucked around until one got pregnant and often married for love.

[oOsecret_starlandsOo]

Pride thing.

Same men who want virgins, are the same ones who want multiple virgin wives.

Note how men boast of themselves for having lots of women.

Not ashamed that men view us so gloriously, as treasure they want to hoard and have in abundance, but its all just a status thing.

We haven't exactly drifted away from our ape mindsets, so men still have an instinctive drive to have a high rank on competing with other male competition, as women still have an instinct for their men to be outstandingly resourceful - ya know, for da babies n all.

Its pretty obvious - what dominates a mans world?

1.) WOMEN
2.) Money
3.) Status / Power
4.) Strength
5.) Beer (lol)

#2-5 is just to achieve #1.

#5 is a perk to assist him when confidence is low.

Lol, women are #1 to men always.

We were made to sit on his strong, wealthy, powerful shoulders

😆😆😆

[lilmissumshine]

Nailed it and it's an insecurity. they don't want their dick compared to another man. especially if they're already insecure about size

[buttercupupup]

Because men throughout time have been obsessed with the idea of owning a woman's sexuality, and ensuring that the woman has never had any other partners makes it easy to do that, as it allows the man to completely control her sexual experience. A virgin in a sexually repressed society will literally know nothing other than what their first partner teaches them, allowing him to talk control of her sexual identity.

[Pugall]

Hey.. I agree with you. But my culture taught me that both male and female should be virgin. I'm not referring to hymen though. Here we think sex and body is something holly and precious thing given by god. So, we think that it will lose its speciality if exposed to wide viewers. Get what I mean? Dressing revealingly, having multiple sexual partners before marriage and etc

[Pugall]

Well, if you don't mind can we talk privately about this?

[dropkicknj13]

Personally I think it's just ingrained in society, so now people don't really have a reason. Way back when it made sense. We didn't have protection or contraceptives so a virgin was you safest bet to not get a disease or raise a child that's secretly someone else's. Oh but also, science shows that you have a higher chance of success in your relationship the fewer sexual partners you have, so maybe people noticed that a long time ago too?

[Anonymous]

To be honest, it doesn't really mean anything more than a sentimental value. Like an old teddy bear your mother gave you, it may not be of real value but it could be if you yourself treasure it to be so. I am still a virgin but it's really not due to religion or cultural pressures, I just keep it due to my romantic idealism lol.
That being said, if a guy has such a big problem about a girl being a virgin, it really says more about him and his ego, insecurities and inflexibility over anything. Just because a girl is not a virgin, does not mean she is any less special or more loving or purer at heart than virgins. I know slutty virgins who did everything and still has her hymen intact (I guess backdoor activity still allows a person to be a virgin).

[mateus]

It's a leftover from history. Back in the day before DNA testing the only way to know for sure that the kids you are raising are yours as a man was to get a virgin and get her pregnant yourself. If the girl was not virgin there was a chance that you will raise someone else's kids and your genes will not get passed to the next generation. So from an evolutionary stand pont it was beneficial to go for a virgin. Now things are different but it will take time for humans to get rid of the habit. Today virginity is not as valuble as before except in religious cultures. Eventually it's value will decline as humans continue to evolve and it's evolutionary benefit is becoming obsolete.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

It’s not simply because he’s a virgin and prefers to be with another virgin OR it’s religious related then it’s simply an insecurity.

Dudes who seek virgins only besides those two reasons I just mentioned, pull up a chair because you need to hear this.

Why the hell does a virginity of a woman mean so much? Are you afraid of not measuring up to some standards of hers? If she’s clean and has no kids then I don’t see what the big deal is! I think you shouldn’t project your insecurities on others and actually do something about it by admitting your problems.

[Hungry_Shark]

Wow, get your facts right dude.
Women release a hormone called oxytocin during sex (which is same hormone that creates unconditional love from a mother to a child).

But guess what, this hormone gets released less and less with every new partner.
So a woman with 0 partners will be able to bond much strongly to her husband compared to a woman who had 5 dudes in the past.

Its all biology. Having sex is not like eating meal at McDonalds. There are mental, spiritual, physical and emotional consequences for a woman.

An act which can produce a new kid on earth must be something special, don't you think so?

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

Have you ever been in love or been with a woman? Be honest (free judgmental zone).

[trehay]

because the virginity Is very valuable and because once u give it up u can get it back its gone u can only lose it once in the life and guys respect girls who r still virgins. Its more lady like to just not hand it over that what I think

[vjkumran]

Correct

[proteingal]

are you really 16?

[NoToriousROB]

You are very correct

[I_Do_Mind]

Many of us are taught this, what is new? And what is this, are you declaring never have sex, or wait till you are married? If it is neither this is stupid by default because what differentiate you from any other girl that has sex, a few years apart between you guys' experience, what value difference is that?

[trehay]

Yes I'm 16

[trehay]

and I_do_mind what do u mean

[Lionelmesssi]

@I_Do_Mind the difference is that @trehay looks more mature and valuable girl, so she'll find someone like her and have good family, life, morals. But someone like I_Do_Mind will be less valuable for other mature and valuable men, and she'll might not get married or she'll married a bad person who will not care about her because he didn't care if she's virgin or not. I can explain more but I guess that's enough and sensitive people will understand what I said.

[trehay]

That is so tru

[I_Do_Mind]

@Lionelmesssi You can't judge yet ye be judged. I don't see the cause for rebuttal over my statement, women value and respect themselves weather they wait for marriage or not, some are raised different, you apparently like to judge them, but what about the men who lose their virginity before marriage are they not valued? How the heck do you think those guys lost their virginity, you guys are slow so I will tell you, they were with a women. So why is the women's virginity so important if many guys lose their virginity by being with a women?

[proteingal]

@I_Do_Mind lol guys' virginity doesn't matter

[I_Do_Mind]

@proteingal But many lose it to girls so that girl is having sex, you see the freaking circle, if all girls held out the guys would be virgins as well, so there needs to be an equal acceptance of both gender's choice because at the end both are human and have the right to make decisions for themselves of what they want to do with their bodies.

[proteingal]

@I_Do_Mind girls shouldn't be virgins. We need to reproduce lol

[Lionelmesssi]

@I_Do_Mind first, how do you compare a virgin girl and a non virgin girl the same. Like do you think a pornstar and virgin girl value the same 🤔 second, many guys lose their virginity at night clubs and bars and with some bad girls, however many guys are virgins just like me, I'm not asexual my sex drive is so high but I have to control my self and also give my self and emotions to the right girl. I know many kids these days are superficial and they can't think deep enough. Anyway, I'll be waiting for an educated smart hot and funny girl with high values and morals just like me 😈

[trehay]

u go Lionelmesssi

[I_Do_Mind]

@Lionelmesssi If you believe one's value of one's self is determined by their sex life so be it, but I believe what I believe and I refuse to discriminate because every woman is different and has their own personal reason for the decisions they make, we are all equal in God's eyes I will leave him to judge for I am not innocent so I would be but a hypocrite to see anyone above another.

[trehay]

No one said that anybody was better for being a virgin

[trehay]

than anybody

[trehay]

This is getting ridiculous

[trehay]

Why I everybody getting so offensive

[trehay]

Its just a question

[Lionelmesssi]

@I_Do_Mind your life is not my business do whatever you believe and what you want to do.

[I_Do_Mind]

@Lionelmesssi Then why the heck do you people keep mentioning me in the first place, you are a troll behind a screen that needs to learn to just shut up

[Bubbyisad]

I mean this isn’t necessarily like part of the world, but like as a Christian it’s cause if u think about it would you want to know your partner (in marrige) has had sex with someone else? Probably not. Plus the main reason we have sex is to get pregnant. That’s why sex was created. And for those of you who say it’s for pleasure, yes it is but do you see dogs going around having sex with each other for pleasure? Maybe but the main reason is to get pregnant.

[false]

dogs dont care about other dogs sexual past, thats why you can't really compare them to humans.

[crypticall]

are you comparing humans to animals? that's the most arrogant answer that I have read.

.. monkeys do it most of the time for Pleasure... how do you explain that? answer this if you are not arrogant - anymore

[mateus]

@crypticall People are animals and many animals do have sex for plesure including humans

[snowangle]

As a Christian, I couldn't care less who my partner has slept with before me, as long as he's faithful to me while we're together.

Also, pigs and dolphins have sex for pleasure, as well as other animals. I think for dogs, sex is rather painful (the penis kinda latches inside the female dog and they physically can't separate until it's over).

[Bubbyisad]

@mateus that’s not my point. The reason why sex was created was to get women pregnant, the pleasure is just a bonus side effect to make it enjoyable.

[Lionelmesssi]

Why there're many people like 15 years and 16 years are smarter than some people around 20 and 25. You are right sex was created to keep the world in flow. but to be honest humans are becoming worse than animals nowadays :)

[mateus]

@Lionelmesssi. 15-16 year olds are not smarter it just seems like that to you because you are 19. Onece your brain developes completely you will realize that what seamed smart at 19 is pretty lame at 30. The human brain is not fully developed until one hits 25-27 years old and then another couple of years for the neuro networks to settle and become efficient. When you hit 30 or so you would look back and think "Was I really that stupid?". I certainly did asked myself that and laughed my ass off. On the other hand if at 30 you still think like when you were 19 something went wrong and you should seek profetional help.

[Lionelmesssi]

@mateus wow I'm completely in the opposite way, for example I see that I was smarter when I was kid And by the time I'm becoming less intelligent, also I don't think it's about age, some people are smart already and they are young and some people die while they are still stupid.

[Bubbyisad]

@Lionelmesssi thank you!

[Lionelmesssi]

@Bubbyisad you are welcome 😊

[wise1answersall]

If you look back into human history you will find that it used to be taboo for women and men alike to have sex before marriage. A man used to give his father in law to be a dowry for his daughters hand. You can look at like paying the man for his daughters virginity if you wish but there was much to it than that and was steeped in deep tradition to say the least. I wish people would realize that context matters. You can't take things from the past and compare them to the rules of society we live by now. It's like trying to put a triangle in a round hole... useless.