Why do I come across as so 'pure and innocent' when I'm really not? Is that a good or bad thing?

[Anonymous]

Okay so this has always confused me. I go to parties, I drink, I've blazed before, I cuss too much, I'm not a prude but EVERYONE always sees me as this really sweet, innocent girl. Like when they find out I drink etc. their world explodes.

But even people who I hang out with all the time and they know what I do still see me as really innocent. I can't for the life of me figure out why.

I'm generally really optimistic and cheerful- does that come across as innocence? And is seeming innocent a turn off? My roommate (who's a guy) told me that I should try and come across as less innocent, but then the same night two guys said they thought it was a really great quality.

And either way I can't/don't want to change it because apparently it's a part of me and I don't even know how I'm doing it in the first place.

SO BASICALLY. I talk too much .

A girl who seems innocent (but certainly isn't boring)- who is in college... blah is that like intimidating to guys or something cause they're afraid of defiling my wholesomeness? or is it like, yay.

[Apocalypticality]

Optimism is most of the time seen as ignorance, and ignorance is related to stupidity. Stupidity lies next to innocence, and innocence is holding the gun pointed at optimism.

It's a big circle, really. I'm sort of the same way. Only difference is that I'm a cynical optimist. I can sort of relate to you, since in the past I was a complete goody-two-shoes, and then came my downward spiral.

BUT I DERIVE FROM MY POINT; innocence is not a turn off. SMART innocence is an even bigger turn on in my perspective. Being able to find reasoning behind hope is something not normally found in this day and age.

As for the guys in college, I'm sure most of them listen to mainstream pop too much and want to turn "good girls --> bad". Innocence sometimes gets you in trouble, since most guys find the innocence to be weak, therefore vulnerable. My suggestion is to be yourself, but remain smart.

[Asker]

Haha okay. I'm definitely not dumb and I know how to look out for myself so I'm not too worried. :] Thanks!

[Apocalypticality]

No worries. 'Tis why I be a part of this harr site.

[Qwerty11]

It depends on the guy's tastes, but a mix of innocent and dirty is probably your best bet. It is possible that these people have judged you to be innocent based on your clothes if they don't know you very well.

[Anonymous]

gahhh this is so me it's crazy but after several instances of trying to change the way people view me is "sweet little innocent Lexxa" I've concluded that it's probably best to just let them think what they want...