In both cases, the issue lies in the point where it inhibits your ability to live normally.
Someone who’s insecure about their appearance may develop unhealthy practices in attempt to slim down or bulk up. Someone who’s clinically anxious may experience difficulty in basic conversation or skills needed to maintain a job.
Likewise, being excessively narcissistic can hinder someone’s ability to function. I know someone who loves herself and believes in herself so much, she doesn’t accept the notion of subjective thought. Anything she thinks or feels is objective truth to her. This makes it very difficult for her to establish meaningful relationships.
Loving yourself is fantastic, but being full of yourself easily blinds you to reality, and damages your ability to interact with other people just as much as insecurity does.
Loving yourself isn't the same as being a narcissist. That's just called good-self esteem. It's only a problem when you begin to think of yourself as superior to everyone else, only think of yourself in every situation, and are generally a very conceited person.
I'd have to disagree with that. I don't view being conceited or thinking as if you're above everyone else as good traits, but hey, that's just my take. You do you.
But nobody really knows whats right and wrong most people just read the bible so the they think they have to like live by the ten commandments or something.
I mean, I think it's safe to say we know some things that are right or wrong, like murdering and stealing isn't the right thing to do, think we can both agree on that.
Well if people had what they needed they most likley wouldn't steal, If people were treated fairly and so many other reasons they wouldn't murder, just like fat people have excuses for everything, being fat isn't the right thing to do either.
If people need something, they should work to get it just like others do. If someone isn't treated fairly, while that's awful, they shouldn't take another human being's life away. Now being overweight, that I can agree with just due to all the health risks it comes with.
There's a HUGE gap between loving yourself and demanding respect and being a narcissist. A narcissist is someone who is unable or unwilling to perceive anything in any way except for how it helps or hurts them. Absolutely everything becomes all about them and their opinions. They don't consider other people unless they think they can gain some personal advantage in doing so.
It’s not “No problem.” That mindset of undervaluing the lives of other people is what leads to abusive and neglectful behavior in all kinds of relationships. Narcissists lack the ability to empathize and develop truly meaningful attachments to people because they just don’t care about others. They psychologically and emotionally abuse everyone around them because they expect others to disregard their own wants and feelings in order to serve their need to be esteemed. They have an inflated sense of self-importance that makes them think they can use people around them until they’ve served their purpose, and then throw them away like yesterday’s news. Essentially, individuals with narcissism and extreme self-absorption tear through life leaving a path of abused, mistreated, and damaged people in their wake.
@CarpetDenim A large group of People like you use words like this to divide people, thats why their will never be peace on earth, people love how their physical body looks, they love how their soul is, or they literally dont care what anyone thinks because they have a different view on life, they get angry and lash out and are told they have a mental disorder. why do you think peopls are so fascinated by them? because they can relate to them on a personal level.
BEING A NARCISSIST DOES NOT MEAN LOVING YOURSELF. That is a grossly huge underestimation of a genuine mental condition, and if you seriously think that’s what being a a narcissist is then you need to stop acting like you know what you’re talking about and do some actual research, because it’s not. It’s so much more elaborate and intricate and complicated than that, as literally everyone is telling you. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a REAL psychological illness that affects and devastates REAL people and hinders their ability to adapt to every day life and connections with other human beings, it’s not just some quirky-sounding term you get to place on yourself to feel special.
And if other people are calling you a narcissist because you love yourself or because you don’t care about what other people think or whatever, then you tell them the same thing I just told you. It’s not okay to put labels like that on people and make it seem like a normal thing that regular people have.
I see, so following your logic, every psychiatrist in the world must be riddled with all possible mental illnesses simply because they’re capable of identifying the signs and symptoms to such certainty that they can legally diagnose and prescribe medical treatment to those individuals afflicted, right? Because obviously the only way they’d be able to diagnose it and see it in others is because they have it themselves, right? Totally not because they studied it extensively for years and got certified in identifying and treating psychological disorders.
And the existence of Narcissistic Personality Disorder isn’t an opinion to have, sorry. It’s a medical, psychological fact that it exists, and it has been studied and recorded since before you or I were even born. Unless you’ve got some doctoral degree in psychology or medicine or decades worth of legitimate experience working in those fields, you’re not in the position to challenge the existence of a particular mental illness.
@CarpetDenim i still dont think it should exist, people make business out of anything. You know how much money it cost to see a psychiatrist or have that kind of medicine? we dont need none of that. Back befoe christ lol you really think they needed all that? we all turned out ok.
It’s not “stuff [I] read on the Internet,” it’s information I read in a textbook and have received in-depth education on. That’s more than I can say for you.
Because narcissists are over confident, selfish and infatuated with themselves. It makes them extremely shallow and two dimensional people. They are also extremely insecure and lash out at any perceived threat to their ego. Generally just dicks. Nothing to be proud of
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But in the "narcissist" point of view imagine how they see most people that hate themselves and are fat with a bad insecure attitude.
their is nothing wrong with any amount of confidence and nobody should have to dim their light for anybody, their is nothing wrong with being selfish, or even infatuated with yourself, and their is nothing wrong with lashing out to put people in their place.
OK so if you're so confident, why are you seeking validation from strangers? I disagree with you though there is a lot wrong with being overly confident, both socially and career wise. Being able to make clear, objective decisions and knowing where you an improve yourself are ways you can succeed in life. If you think you're perfect and fuck everything up and blame others you're going to wind up at the bottom of the pile and be the loser you hate. Also, people hate selfish arrogant Kanye West types so you'll be a lonely loser blaming the world for your problems.
I was just curious about what people like you thought of this, and nobody knows Kanye West personally so we can't call him a loser he's with beautiful Kim K and he's rich so id say he's winning in life.
Having positive regard for yourself is fine. Actual narcissism is a different thing entirely. Perhaps you should look up the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder.
There’s a difference between loving yourself and being a narcissist. Loving yourself is important, and having confidence in yourself is important. But you can love yourself and still love other people and show compassion and care for most other individuals. Narcissists can’t. They don’t give a flying fuck about other people because they’re self-centered assholes who are too busy caring about nothing but themselves.
Also, no one ever said it’s no problem to live your life hating yourself, that’s also a psychological issue.
Narcissists can't love anybody but them selfs. They use people and gain happiness from hurting them. Being vain is believing that you are better than everybody else. Your shit still stinks the same. You don't become a better person by thinking you look good. You become a better person by realising you are no better than anyone and treat others with the same love and respect you would like yourself. Selfish people are why the world is fucked up. Everyone out for them selfs and won't do a god damn thing to fix anything.
the problem with being a narcissist is that its only OK if you're an island. its not as glorified as the mean teen movies make it out to be. in real life no one likes narcissists, no one is their friend. sure, people pretend to be nice when they're around and turn on them when they leave. this only works for psychopaths who have no real emotions, but if you a person, it will weigh on you. sooner or later, you will wonder. "why don't people like me?" that will be the beginning of a dark and lonely journey in the world
A lot has changed since I started transitioning. Estrogen should really not be underestimated. I will never be a middle aged beauty queen but I've had more of a tendency to pay attention to what I wear and makeup, and I really like shopping. Part of it seems natural. But I don't pretend to be irresistible or anything. I just want to be presentable. If a girl wants to look nice then that's okay.
A narcissist uses people, thinks they can do no wrong, and thinks everything is about them. You can love yourself and be confident without being a narcissist. Those aren't mutually exclusive.
Also it is bad to hate yourself if you’re fat as it can lead to eating disorders and other mental problems. I mean being fat/obese shouldn’t be promoted or glorified as it’s unhealthy but anyone hating themselves isn’t healthy.
Yes but their is still nothing wrong with it in my opinion we all use eachother for something and at some point in our lives for example as a teenagers we thought everything was about us.
Being a narcissist is the same as being self loathing neither are particularly fun to be around and both are psychological issues at both ends. Both are pretty self centered and can be quite volatile. The difference being that one blames themselves for being bad where as the other won't accept any responsibility for the negativity they bring.
As for being vain. Well looks fade over time. It's like being proud of something that slips through your fingers untill it's gone. Sure you may have looks now but you have less of them as time goes by.
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most people dont take care of themselves so its easy to day that.
Not true. A narcissist is someone who lacks empathy and believes that they are worth more than anyone else. A narcissist is made by traumas and their ego grows by letting other people down, attention and for cheecy comments about looks. They manipulate people to gain something and without caring about the person they are hurting. They also see themself as perfect and they can never be wrong according to them which is why they blame other people for their own mistakes.
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Opinion Owner
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They don't truly love themself they have a huge ego which makes it look that way. Their ego is based of how other people view them. And they don't care about anyone else and like I said they believe they are better than you at everything and that they can't be wrong about anything because they are perfect
It is wrong if you have some kind of remorse you would unserstand that it is wrong. But I can motiv by talking to you that you are a narcissist. So just Think so and have a good day👋
Narcissists exhibit the following personality traits:
1. Needs constant praise and admiration. 2. Always having a sense of entitlement. 3. Exploits others without guilt or shame. 4. Frequently demeans, intimidates, bullies, or belittles others. 5. Everything is constantly about them (as in selfish).
No offense, but this makes you sound like a total bitch. I don't know if you actually are one or not, but this makes you sound like one. You don't use apostrophes when they're needed, you think you're better than everyone else, and you act like all/most plus-sized people hate themselves. xx ~ Mrs Manson
I don't actually see anything wrong with it to some degree, I can be a bit vain myself at times but I think it just shows you don't need anyone elses aprovel to make feel good and it's okay to like yourself. The only thing is some become ignorant and have big egos and think their better than others, are more important and have the right to put people down which I don't like.
@SaintRaghu I believe she explained it in a way to show that balance is important in anything. While no oe is perfect it is just fine to find some value within one's self. And she clearly said that it goes too far when one feels they are better than others. Sounds reasonable to me. Its great that she finds value in herself without having to be someone or something she isn't or to have someone else validate her.
It's anti social behavior and it's not about loving yourself.
What you seem to be talking about is being conceited, shallow, and likely materialistic. Nothing inherently wrong with being those things, but don't be surprised when no one likes you..
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Their is nothing wrong with any of of those things lol
loving your self is a great deal different than conceit or vanity, though shallow people often confuse the two.
Besides, I didn't way there was anything wrong with them, I only pointed out that they are character traits most people view as ugly or negative character traits, not all people but a lot of people.
Hmm... I'm a sociopath. Not quite the same thing. Wish I was a psychopath. I could beat my brother then. God, that guy is manipulative. He's determined to drive wedges in between everyone in our family. He's done it. Multiple times. Crazy psycho.
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dont let people tell you what you are everyones capable of being what they say a "sociopath" or "psychopath" is.
Because society profits off your self-loathing. The makeup industry or those “get thin quick” pills for example. Then again, being a narcissist isn’t great either. It makes you into a toxic, self-absorbed person with no regard for other people. Self-love is a very different thing than narcissism.
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their is still nothing wrong with it you shouldn't have to change for other people, we were born with original sin lol
Hey, I wasn’t saying someone should change who they are. Narcissism is a mental disorder. I doubt someone can change that with a simple “I want to stop being narcissistic so I will”... it doesn’t work like that.
being obsessed with your looks is only a small fraction of being a narcissist. they are abusive. ... they are jealous, rude, apathetic. my mom is one and its ruined my life. I've had low self esteem ever since i was aware of my thoughts, my mom is always in a competition with me. its not good. now i see these narcissist traits in me because its all i know. im slowly learning to break them all.
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Their are two sided to every story, not everyone os ready to have kids.
id check this out and maybe youd understand. its almost always abusive. please stop trying to tell people being narcissistic is good. it isn't a hate word. you can have self confidence and not be abusive.
i read the posts in the link you sent me and it sounds like my mother sister and grandma. My mother beat my ass too lol but if we are in this life just as much as they are like i said not everyones ready to have kids. Mental disorders are made up in my opinion for business, im not saying its facts just my opinion.
okay sis. my mom was ready to have kids. its not about “getting you ass beat” its manipulation and humiliation... it’s terrible. i really hope you can get some help or something... or never have kids or be in a relationship.
You werent born yet so how would you knwo if she was ready to have kids or not? anyways thanks for sharing your story im sure a therapist would love to hear this.
could you imagine being over 18 and still this childish? because i couldn’t. get a grip. narcissists are secretly insecure and have no self esteem at all. thats why they abuse others. so have fun being narcissistic and abusive and see how far it gets you. it makes me sick to see some of your ridiculously uneducated responses. i love myself probably a little too much, and im not abusive or a narcissist. you should try that, but it’s probably too late bc just by chatting with you i can tell you are a narc. have a nice a day.
One.. It leads to sociopathic behavior, It causes the person to be manipulative and hurtful to others weather or not they intend to be. It causes the person to have no conscience, or such a diminished one where horrible acts against others for personal gain causes very little if any guilt. Basically people with NPD are all around horrible people.
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You only lose your conscience when your dead, and they use their brain to get what they want and they are their own best friends it sounds more like self love to me.
lol im guessing your obtuse.. Conscience and Consciousness are two different things, A conscience is that little voice in your head that says you shouldn't do something you know is bad, Consciousness is what you lose when you are knocked out or dead... LOL please stay in school if you dont know the difference
1a : the sense or consciousness of the moral goodness or blameworthiness of one's own conduct, intentions, or character together with a feeling of obligation to do right or be good She had a guilty conscience.
We dont know them personally so we will never know how they were really like, all we know is the bad stuff they have done, most people are capable of murder and even the kindest souls have done wrong at some point, but people like you are sooo quick to point fingers because in reality you want the same power.
Not even close.. i have seen the damage done by NPD individuals first hand, and i have read THOUSANDS of psychological papers on the subject so i think i am just a little better equipped to answer this than you are. I am not pointing fingers.. More to the point though in your question, there is a vast difference between loving your self and actually being NPD. I suggest you read the link in one of my prior comments it pretty much describes these kinds of people.
Additionally speaking as someone who is a member of TFRM (the fathers rights movement) NPD effects families the worst, because when divorce happens, its typically the mother with NPD. She uses her children as a weapon against the father eventually driving the father to suicide. You have no idea the absolute hell it is to live with someone who is NPD... I Do..
Thanks for sharing your story thats why i posted this in the first place, some people just dont get along, and people now days make people feel bad for leaving eachother when it really doesn't have to be like that
Being a narcissist is different. My dad will literally yell and throw things, hop out of the car in traffic and bang his head on the wall if you try to bring up his faults. He refuses to hear it. He never interacts with anyone because it’s not what he wants to do. He never keeps a promise if it’s not something about him and expects the world to cater to his whim. This is a narcissist.
Narcissism generally makes you unrightfully into yourself to the point you feel you're superior to others. You lack perspective and can never accept you're wrong and they tend to mistreat others.
You can be attractive without being a narcissist.
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someone whos considered a narcissist can have prespective, and this is a cruel world anyone is capable of anything so i think its ok to make yourself feel superior
Well its better than being a doormat and if people dont step up to the person who thinks highly of themselves then i guess that makes them superior afterall.
Being too full of yourself can lead to overconfidence. Overconfidence can harm you and people around you.
Example being narcissistic about your strength then picking up a weight way to heavy for you then dropping it damaging the floor or your foot or a friend.
Example 2 Talking up your cooking skills and hosting a dinner party. Then realising you don't have the experience you need to cook the dish properly and serving the party awful food.
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Well you never know what your capable of until you believe in yourself and try right? and lol if people hate you for doing something for them and failing then thats sad to me.
Really, you ask a company to fix you computer they say they can. In a month they come back and turns out they can't fix it. So your supposed to be happy about that?
There is confidence by experience and confidence by narcissism. One you can depend on one you can't but if you sound unsure about trusting them it's won't help much with your friendship.
Do you mean having narcissistic traits? Because everybody has that to one degree or another and yes, we do need it a little.
But having narcissistic personality disorder and actually being narcissistic, being a narcissist. They don’t actually love themselves. The problem with that is they often manipulate, put down others to feel good/lacking empathy, severe mood swings, etc.
There are people who take care of themselves that aren't narcissistic or vain. They're just easier and more fun to be around. If you like living this way it's fine, but don't get upset at others for not wanting to be around you. It's truly your life. Also might I add there are overweight vain narcissist. In all honesty it's not really a size thing. Not every big person hates themselves though.
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i know it was just an example since fat people say or do anything but lose weight
What's wrong with it haha lol is this for real? Wtf ! Ok I'll play along. Well for 1 your not God and there is nothing more attractive than a girl who acts like she doesn't know she is a smoke show especially when she is
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most girls act like that because they aren't aloud to flaunt it because their is soo many haters ready to put her down
Narcissists usually end up hurting the people they are with to fulfill their need to be whatever. So if your saying it's okay to emotionally hurt someone on the regular to satisfy their need to elevate themselves then yes it's not okay.
Some may do it unintentionally while other may do it due to some actions. Narcissists die it just to please themselves and to take advantage of another person. Completely different.
Whoa, where did that fat comment come from? Obesity is a serious issue, but things are generally a problem if you make them a problem. If a narcissist talks about how great they are, at most they are just going to be ignored or told off, but if a narcissist punches punches people because they thought they were the gift of god, well, there's what's wrong. Society can't have sociopaths that believe they can get away with anything.
Also, (sorry for the reply answer), who said it was just cool to disregard yourself and live in a shitty situation? Pretty sure every reasonable person wants that to not be the case
We are told to love ourselves, theirs a difference between loving yourself and in love with yourself Being in love with yourself when you totally believe you have no faults or flaws is narcissistic behaviour
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i think its doesn't sound that like much of a difference
There is a difference with feeling confident and loving yourself and being a narcissist. For one thing narcissists use others and need enjoy being manipulative. Just plain evil if you ask me.
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everyone deceives and manipulates lol its not that evil
What's wrong with being a narcissist is that they see no wrong in their actions, they think they're better than everyone and everything has to be about them. What's wrong with being vain is that it gets you no where, it pushes people away and makes someone seem undesirable. Also, living life hating yourself isn't okay either because that can push people away too.
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Anonymous
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Because you want other people to give you attention too and often complain about it if it’s not the kind of attention you want and/or not from the kind of people you like.
You want to post a bunch of provocative half naked pics on Instagram because you crave likes? Be my guest. But quit complaining about all the creeps out there when you left the front door wide open and beckoned people to walk up to your porch.
Well, all as I can say is depend on your good looks as long as you can, since they don't last forever. You'll find out some day how empty such an attitude can feel...
The operative word being "too much". It can be a real turn off for the people around you. We may not care but we may not have many friends (if any). A dose of humility can go a long way. ;)
When you become fixated on something it prevents you from being open to other perspectives, it's like being tremendously inflexible, any little force can you snap.
Hating yourself is a psychological issue too. The difference though is hating yourself usually is only harmful to yourself, narcissism is usually harmful to everyone else.
You can love yourself but it shouldn't be more then you love others (friends family etc.). People generally dont want to be with someone who is overconfident about themselves.
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so they want some basic person who doesn't love or believe in themselves?
Didn't avoid it at all it was answered already. "You can love yourself but it shouldn't be more then you love others". A narcissist thinks they are greater then everyone else and believe they have skills and abilities that they lack.
Not sure what you mean? I think the asker doesn't realize that self love and Narcissism are not the same. Judging from her replies to others she really is a special kind of stupid.
It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t realize the difference. Unless she genuinely cares about how other people will respond to her, there’s no external motivation for her to change
First, yes there are problems for living fat and hating yourself. Second, narcisistic behaviour goes to antisocial behaviour and is dangerous to self being
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Ok but how is it dangerous to YOURself thats what i want to know? how?
At first it gives you an anxiety being (same as fat and hating). Second, it limits your relations to a superficial grade avoiding things as love (and please, dont say me you have many boyfriends because it isn't what Im talking about)
"Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism."- Mayo Clinic
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their is nothing wrong with defending yourself, your ego, having a fragile self esteem, feeling as important, or needing attention and admiration, nd everybody had relationship issues, life would be no thrill without it.
The symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder include: grandiose sense of importance, preoccupation with unlimited success, belief that one is special and unique, exploitative of others, lack of empathy, arrogance, and jealousy of others. These symptoms cause significant distress in a person's life.
"The symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder include: grandiose sense of importance, preoccupation with unlimited success, belief that one is special and unique, exploitative of others, lack of empathy, arrogance, and jealousy of others. These symptoms cause significant distress in a person's life."
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a long-standing pattern of grandiosity (either in fantasy or actual behavior), an overwhelming need for admiration, and usually a complete lack of empathy toward others. People with this disorder often believe they are of primary importance in everybody’s life or to anyone they meet. While this pattern of behavior may be appropriate for a king in 16th century England, it is generally considered inappropriate for most ordinary people today. People with narcissistic personality disorder often display snobbish, disdainful, or patronizing attitudes. For example, an individual with this disorder may complain about a clumsy waiter’s “rudeness” or “stupidity” or conclude a medical evaluation with a condescending evaluation of the physician.
"In layperson terms, someone with this disorder may be described simply as a “narcissist” or as someone with “narcissism.” Both of these terms generally refer to someone with narcissistic personality disorder. A personality disorder is an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates from the norm of the individual’s culture. The pattern is seen in two or more of the following areas: cognition; affect; interpersonal functioning; or impulse control. The enduring pattern is inflexible and pervasive across a broad range of personal and social situations. It typically leads to significant distress or impairment in social, work or other areas of functioning. The pattern is stable and of long duration, and its onset can be traced back to early adulthood or adolescence."
In order for a person to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) they must meet five or more of the following symptoms:
Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e. g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
Requires excessive admiration
Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e. g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
Is exploitative of others, e. g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
Lacks empathy, e. g., is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others"
"Because personality disorders describe long-standing and enduring patterns of behavior, they are most often diagnosed in adulthood. It is uncommon for them to be diagnosed in childhood or adolescence, because a child or teen is under constant development, personality changes, and maturation. However, if it is diagnosed in a child or teen, the features must have been present for at least 1 year. Narcissistic personality disorder is more prevalent in males than females and is thought to occur in around 6 percent of the general population, according to research. Like most personality disorders, NPD typically will decrease in intensity with age, with many people experiencing few of the most extreme symptoms by the time they are in their 40s or 50s"
"How is Narcissistic Personality Disorder Diagnosed?
Personality disorders such as NPD are typically diagnosed by a trained mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. Family physicians and general practitioners are generally not trained or well-equipped to make this type of psychological diagnosis. So while you can initially consult a family physician about this problem, they should refer you to a mental health professional for diagnosis and treatment. There are no laboratory, blood, or genetic tests that are used to diagnose personality disorder. Many people with this disorder don’t seek out treatment. People with personality disorders, in general, do not often seek out treatment until the disorder starts to significantly interfere or otherwise impact a person’s life. This most often happens when a person’s coping resources are stretched too thin to deal with stress or other life events."
"A diagnosis for narcissistic personality disorder is made by a mental health professional comparing your symptoms and life history with those listed here. They will make a determination whether your symptoms meet the criteria necessary for a personality disorder diagnosis."
i have met so many people and we are all connected on some level, nobodys that evil i even knew a man who was a murderer, he fit the description of a narcissist and its crazy because he believes in gos and loves his family and he's just like everyone else he just had no self control. You can't just make it seem like people are wrong or evil because ANYBODY is capable of not controlling themselves at one point or another and having the "SIGNS" if a so called narcissist. We need order in this world without it we would problably go crazy, how were really supposed to be, And thats just an example of how bad we label and judge eachother, and yes it has EVERYTHING to do with how you people view "narcissism" like its so bad because i bet you won't admit that you have wanted to feel special and unique and that you have felt jealousy of others, because its normal.
It's only a issue because after a while you put yourself at the top of the social ladder and treat others like shit before even knowing them then you assume you do that's y some not all are like
that's all good but your partner suffers a long term effect of putt up with the cut downs it's always your fault and when u catch the narcissist they don't want to deal with it and to push it will only leave you out in the cold
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