Financially unstable female is a turn off to men?

[Anonymous]

I am in trouble, financially at this time. I am doing all I can to cut costs but it isn’t working. I am currently single so, as a single woman it makes it much more difficult to get a head (financially). I get by alright but a lot of people looking in, would never guess, that my situation is this bad. I mean I own my condo and if I sold it at this time, I would lose money. I bought it out of convenience at the time (location is by my family). I go to my family for as many free dinners as they let me (even they don’t know how bad I struggle because I don’t want to burden them with money. My family doesn’t have money anyways. I do laundry at my dad's place when I can to save $ and I don't want to move back home to save because I would have to pay my parents rent anyways.

I work every day. One full-time office job (with a really good company but below average salary) and I work on the weekends for minimum wage. May I say, I’m drained and still not getting ahead of my bills.

I am a girl that doesn’t like going out and partying (drinking at a club). I prefer a quite night at home alone or with friends. I don’t see a lot of my friends because I live on the other side of the city, so if I do see them, it’s up to me to drive out to see them and it takes me 40mins(one way so my gas budget takes a beating on those days, I do visit them).

I don’t dress in flashy clothing; I’m more of a tomboy if anything. I like jeans and t-shirts (very casual) and I don’t like to wear fancy labels. I dress up once and a while, but only for special events or if I’m around my friends that make more money than me (yes, I feel low class around them sometimes). I feel this way because I don’t get any financial support from my parents or family. I live on my own, and although you may never suspect that I am “thrifty”. I don’t cheap out on my health. I still have a gym membership and eat extremely healthy (I can’t start eating poor because then I won’t really be taking care of myself is the way I see it). I am doing my best to save $ but it doesn’t seem enough. My friends almost all live at home or have financial assistance from their family members so they don’t understand the situation. I haven’t had a boyfriend in over a year because of this and now I’m starting to lose hope.

None of this sounds attractive for a man (in my opinion).

Guys, am I a loss cause? Would you even bother dating me, after knowing how much I struggle?

[Anonymous]

your question made me remember about a discussion I was having with my family. not too long ago my dad said that men don't want women (long term) that are lazy and have nothing going on. he was saying that most guys don't really get impressed by labels and designers like girls do, as long as you look nice that's enough. and he also said a lot of men are struggling just like women but if you are trying to do something with yourself and have goals then they will respect you. guys don't like gold diggers or lazy girls but you are hard working and motivated and those are good traits.

whats the most important is how you treat him and just being yourself. (omg that last part sounded corny but its trueee)

[kidmichael1]

I would. Of course I'm no better off than you are. But I've gotten to the point where I'm happy to wake up another day, and try to count the blessings that come my way. It really reduces the stress. And quiet nights at home are fine with me.

When it comes to money issues...I think that's a good barometer to gauge how good someone's heart is. I floated the exact same question to the women. If someone can look past that then you know that they'll be there for you through thick & thin and not bail on you when times get tough.

I'm Michael by the way.

[ihatework]

you're not that unusual. I'm struggling too. I think a lot of people can relate in a financial sense.

[frustratedchump06]

it won't hurt women as much as it hurts us men

[cacapisu]

no, only emotionally unstable