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Well, it's not really financially stable but a decent income you mean?
You're fine to date on the basis of those preferences. Although it's kind of like when women say they want a man who is 'ambitious'. That has a certain connotation too (they actually mean successful and making a decent income). My notion of ambitious is someone who has a vision and is working towards it (which I would presume is not what a woman is looking for if the guy hasn't made it). So maybe you should be clearer in your wording that you want a guy with a decent income?
So by all means date on whatever preferences you like. But there is always an opportunity cost and a 'karma' on whatever you tend to focus on. For example, if a girl is searching for someone who is 'financially stable' but doesn't mention that she wants one who she has a connection with or who is emotionally mature, then, again, she's seemingly basing her search on materialistic traits.
Like obviously, I find younger attractive women. And I hope that doesn't offend you. But not at the expense of the other things like connection and emotional intelligence. Like an attractive girl with a shit personality is no good to me.
Okay, I hope you see the irony of this because this is literally the next question I jumped to, and then your answer...
Do you think its ageist if a 18yo girl won't date a guy 10 years older than her? ↗
It’s completely fine unless you think that 21 year old girls are completely incapable of making adult decisions, in which case, maybe we should take away their drivers license and ability to vote. At 21, I was 100% capable of making an informed decision on who to date. I don’t see why we should expect less of women.
Obviously I was just trying to test the theory of whether there are double standards.
There's a 20 yo girl in our office and she runs rings around the older women in every regard. She's healthier, has better habits, is a million times more attractive, is actually in shape, she's classy, has good morals, hasn't slept with half the town. I could go on and on. Age tells you very little about a person, and the idea that it indicates maturity is BS, too, given the maturity and cultivation standards we're working with throughout the population.
It depends, since there's various factors at play.
- What is considered financially stable to her?
- Is she financially stable herself despite wanting this?
- What does she offer him in a relationship?
Overall, people should look for a financially stable partner, but I think it's only gross if it's a requirement despite the woman herself noting be so (unless if she has kids). Anyway, if the situation is fair, then I don't see why anyone would hate it on it other than people who are just very divisive and stubborn about their beliefs. It's become an increasingly common thing these days for people to be like that.
Some men are so intensely consumed by their income and holding on to each and every dime to the grave apparently, so for some, any woman who even hints that she wants someone who is financially stable, in their minds equates to thoughts of "she has to be a gold digger." To both men AND women---have you ever been broke? Was it a ton of fun to struggle for every single thing? Could you follow your dreams when you can't even pay the rent every other month---no one is excited for a life and a future like that! So to say, hey, we both need to be able to pay the bills and manage our lives without worrying every two seconds if the lights are going to get cut off, is reasonable at best, and if for a man that is a problem to hear, then don't date me, move on, as will I.
@Billlewis It's not even about being well off or rich, it's about being financially stable which could mean you are middle class or even classed as being poor but you are able to manage or you're temporarily in that state working towards bigger and better things like someone who is in school, but yes, at least at this point in life, I'm not going to pretend like money doesn't matter. It does. I've watching a friend in a terrible relationship with a man who gambled their children's college funds down the drain and was using money in their accounts for other stuff outside of paying for their house. That's not a fun life when the bill collectors come day after day for you. Everyone should seek relationships with someone financially stable as well as make sure they are in that place too so you equally bring the same things to the table.
If u can't provide for our family then its a dealbreaker. U dont hav to hav the most money in the world so long as we live comfortable. Gold diggers seek out price tags that are most exaggerative like, a sports car. Yes he has a nice car but probaby lives in a house that makes his car only look good 😁
Opinion
28Opinion
If a woman's expectations for a guy's finances are reasonable, no one has any criticism.
@kylee2437 A better question would be do you think it's reasonable for a man to want a women w/ a low body count? 3 or less?
@Vegasrunner body count has absolutely nothing to do the future of a relationship
@kylee2437: It's not clear from your question how much you think a guy should make - should he make enough to support them both and kids, should he make more than her, or should they make the same amount of money?
@kylee2437 I actually meant to tag @Avicenna as body count is a better equivalent men don't care about a women's financial stability but they do care about their body count.
@kylee2437: Because you expressed yourself poorly, I suspect you weren't understood. I will say it again: men don't have any problem with shared responsibility for income if he's expected to earn half of the family income. It's common sense really.
@Vegasrunner: I think you're right about body count if it's too high, because a high body count indicates a lack of impulse control and/or mental illness, two things that should disqualify.
Finances do matter- if she comes with lots of debt attached and/or champagne tastes on a beer income, you'd better care. For this reason single moms are usually a dealbreaker.
It’s not insecure to want a woman with a low body count. I’m very happy my fiancées is only 4. I’m tired of seeing women shame men for their preferences. Yes, some men complain that women are shallow for wanting tall and/or rich guys, but at the end of the day, I think most of them accept it. Women seem to have a very tough time accepting that men generally want a low body count. Call it insecure all you want, but as I like to say, if you’re shaming the standard, it’s probably because you don’t meet it.
@Avicenna Men don't make decisions on women based on their finances. Do you really think a man passes on a 10 because she has debt? You're making the mistake of thinking that every woman is a potential bride. If I lined up 100 men showed them a picture if a dime. How many of them do you think would ask about her financial status? Single moms are a deal breaker because they are asking a man to take care of another man's kid which lowers their value immediately.
@awsamb yes it is insecure to want a woman with a lesser body count. Body count means absolutely nothing when it comes down to things. I can lie to a man and say my body count is a 3 and I can be rocking that lie the entire relationship, ( I wouldn’t do that) but still what I did when I was younger definitely doesn’t define what I bring to the table.
@Vegasrunner: For a relationship? Unless money is no object, they will take it into account unless they're dumb. The 10 gets a guy for whom money is no object, though.
The primary issue with the single mom is her finances. She can't expect the guy to take care of some other guy's kid, but she'll gladly ask him for money or expect him to spend it on her.
@Agreed a 10 gets a a guy who money is no object to, however that doesn't mean lesser value guys would take her they just can't get her. My argument os that if they could get her they would take her regardless of her debt. No take it from a guy that probably banged more single moms than 90% of men alive. The issue w/ single moms is that there's another guys kid involved. Simply being a single mom doesn't mean a woman is broke. You're believing the stereotype of a single mother, however there are many single mothers that make a decent living and have their finances in order. The issue is the kid (s) How many women have you actually been with?
@Vegasrunner: I had to laugh at your question and I'm not going to answer it. And you can bang the single moms without spending time with her kid (s) since you wouldn't meet the kid for awhile anyway. Incidentally, the two single moms I dated, their kid was OK, but they had poor money management skills. Of course there are some who aren't like that, but they are very much the minority.
Using a 10 as an example isn't that useful since it's very much an outlier, but of course there are plenty of guys who would jump to date a woman that they would normally have no chance with should that opportunity present itself (it obviously wouldn't in the first place) and they'd be happy to spend money on her as well. Since they can always get guys to spend money on them, I doubt many 10s get themselves into deep financial trouble in the first place.
Now, you seem to have been very discerning in which single moms you dated, but they are well known as financial sinkholes for the guys who date them.
@Avicenna I can understand the laugh but it's nothing to he embarrassed about. Most men have limited experience w/ women. Anecdotal personal evidence is cool but it's not that relevant to the statement. By that logic my exprience w/ 100's of single moms would supercede your experience w/ 2? I would argue that men leaving single moms because of the kids is probably the majority.
Lol, you kidna trying to make your belief fit. I agree w/ you about the 10's except saying "you doubt they get into financial trouble" is a convenient way to hedge your bet. You attempting to share reality vs accepting reality.
TBH I just think it's a matter of me having a larger sample size than you. If I understand you correctly you're basing your belief on your lifetime experience of dating 2 single moms? Well think of it like this. I'm currently dating 3 rn. One of them has 5 kids and is middle management at a fortune 500 company so Blby your logic she's the norm.
@Vegasrunner: Well, you've got a big ego, that's for sure. It should have occurred to you that beyond personal experience with single moms I could be familiar with that of others, thus increasing sample size. It should further have occurred to you that most guys, unlike you, date women who aren't single moms.
You're clearly one of those guys who exaggerates or just makes stuff up. I have no need to do that, nor do I need to discuss my body count with some charlatan.
A single mom with 5 kids in a middle management position is, if she isn't a unicorn, so much of an outlier that she isn't a useful data point for this discussion. But keep deluding yourself. I'm sure you're spending lots of time with all the kids of all these single moms you're dating simultaneously. There's something very odd about someone only dating single moms.
@Avicenna TY, but u brought up your personal experience, I'm simply pointing out the obvious fact. Yes you could be familiar with other the same why I could. So while it may increase your sample size it still puts you way behind me. Is that even true abd even if it was how does that relate to the conversation? The fact that you believe "I exaggerate" simply shows how much rare it is for you to be around men who actually attract women. You're being a bit disingenuous by leaving out the fact that the single mom statement was in response to you sharing your own anecdotal evidence. Pretty telling that you thought it was valid for you to share your experience yet when I share mine you look to discredit it? Obviously she is an outlier, however I have hundreds of these examples, you have two. Why do your two supercede everyone else's? I've never met anyone of these kids because I only keep single moms for recreational use because I have gained enough value to do that I also never said anything about only dating single moms. As I said b4 you're looking to shape reality vs accept it. You're making up additional parts of the story to try help you rationalize something you don't understand.
@Vegasrunner: You're full of shit. And I've been around plenty of men who exaggerate or lie about stuff like you've exaggerated. Life experience tells me when someone is making bizarre or incredible claims.
Now, earlier you mentioned body count. Your beloved single moms may well have high ones. Yet that criterion seems to have conveniently disappeared.
It's hardly unknown that lots of single moms have financial issues. But since you think you know better, maybe you should read this:
www.stlouisfed.org/.../single-mothers-slim-financial-cushions
But, hey, keep dating those multimillionaire single moms you seem to have cornered the market on. And somehow you're able to balance helping them with their dozens or hundreds of kids while you bed all of the moms simultaneously.
@Avicenna Lol, TY as I said the fact that you believe it's made up just shows how difficult it is for guys like yourself. I'm not so sure what you believe is "bizarre" or "incredible" but typical that highlights the limitations of one's own experiences and as you said you haven't had much experience w/ single moms. I mentioned my body count, but not sure what that has to do w/ single moms? So you're saying single moms are broke? That seems like a great GAG question, I'll put it up on the here and we can see how many single moms say they struggle financially? I've never dated a multimillionaire single mom not sure why you even made that one up. It funny how you pick and choose what you want to hear, as I've told you now forcthe third time I've never met any of those chick's kids but I understand why you're confused it's just a lack of experience issue for you.
@Vegasrunner: I guess a little bit of sarcasm is lost on you (unsurprisingly). If you make claims that fly in the face of a large amount of accumulated evidence and common wisdom, it's up to you to back it up, which you haven't. No matter how many times you try to claim it's due to "inexperience" on my part (a laughable claim considering my age and experience), your claims don't add up and are mere bravado.
As for the single moms' kids, it's you who made the claim that the kids were the main issue with them rather than finances. If you're not meeting the kids, then they aren't an issue, but the body count issue for the single moms (something else you brought up) is likely there as well given the behavior you described. Read the information in the link I posted above if you continue to be unable to understand what I've clearly expressed above.
Feel free to poll your question here on GAG, but it won't be a scientific poll, so the results won't be as useful as, for example, the research cited in the source I provided, or many others you could easily find via Google.
So, in a nutshell, you're completely full of shit and can't show otherwise. You can't wiggle out of it with more BS, either.
because more often than not, "a financial stable partner" is someone who has to provide luxury not just necessities.
apparently a Toyota Camry and a decent house in a decent neighborhood ain't good enough these days
it's gotta be a Ferrari and a 4-storey 20 room mansion plus weekly holidays to Hawaii and Vanuatu and the Caribbean including gifts of gold/diamond jewelry plus designer clothes
plumbers, electricians, construction workers are seen as low-lives compared to lawyers, pro-athletes and rappers even though the former is actually more important to society than the latter despite the latter making substantially more money
hey listen, I'm not at that age where girls want money yet but, here are my 2 cents on this. my dad said him and mom were broke when they meet each other and they had some years where they were only eating bread for weeks, "me and your mom went though hard times before we got married, and we came together as one and figured it out before we started out little business that makes us money, we might not be rich... BUT! we are getting by without taking super expensive vacations and having all we need to live comfortably" so from this i take a few things 1. finances are made together by a couple 2. there are always hard times 3. expecting to go in a relationship and just having everything handed to you is kind of a immature move, since you probably have no idea how to make money and if you do not know how money is made the hard way you won't value no matter how much you have and you will just spend randomly. so gold digger
Most of the women I've met that want that need to take a good hard look in the mirror. Not saying all woman don't hold up their end but a good portion I've met don't bring much to the table other than dreams. They seem to think a good title at low pay is being ambitious while a low title and high pay is not aiming high enough. Again that's not all women but I've met plenty of women that are that way. Put simply wanting to move up to manager of a petco and then shaming a guy who makes three times as much because he isn't ambitious enough doesn't sit well with a lot of guys.
For the same reason that women constantly judge men harshly of things beyond thier control.
It's understandable a woman wanting a man who has the means to take care of her. But what I've observed repeatedly (primarily with young women on here). Is they think for example marrying a guy who makes 50k+ a yr solves all thier problems. These women do not have the experience or potentially the wherewithal to understand that sometimes you can do everything right and it still turn out wrong. People can lose jobs through no fault of thier own, economies can sour, and people can get sick.
Yes a woman has the right to be suspicious of a man's earning potential. But guess what, a guy also has the right to be suspicious of a woman's motives behind that.
Marrying a man that makes a stable income does solve a lot of issues within marriages especially when money is the number one issue to divorces. 50k isn’t even a lot, so if a person isn’t making that as an average adult, they are failing.
That still doesn’t make her a gold digger, gold diggers are not going for men that make less than 50k a year.
Thank you for illustrating my point.😆
Your point wasn’t proven, you just proved that you think a woman is a gold digger for wanting stability. Gold diggers don’t have the goal of stability, they have the goal of luxury, and no that is not the same either.
Anyone with a link of sense that read my post knows what I said and I didn't say that. Don't take your issues out on me hun. But feel free to continue. You only make yourself look sillier with each post. 🙂
The only men fighting against this post are typically men trying to justify not having their life together.
Nobody's fighting you. I'm trying wise you up. Before you wake up one day 40 years. Old and it all of a suddenly hits you. Blue anon was right. I'm betting I could crush you with my wallet. Is that an accomplishment? No I'm in my 40's I should be able to at this point. But that is my point. I'm cognizant of how many cards just fell my way. This is the point you don't get. At your age you think everything is a choice. Who in thier right mind would choose to fail. Your income is only half the equation.
Wanting a man who can hold up their end financially is one thing, wanting a man who will let her not work and take month-long trips to Tuscany is another.
There has been plenty of videos where a woman says they want their partner to at least make 100k a year or more. The average income in the US is around 50k a year. I think it’s okay for a woman to expect their partner to make around what they make but unrealistic if they expect men to make more than twice their own income.
"financially stable" = rich. This only comes up with women who aren't worthy of it. If they are a single mom, or fat, or blown out, or a cheater, or past their prime. But think they deserve a 6 figure 6 foot 6 pack. If you want a man who can improve your life be a woman who can improve theirs. Besides we have equality now, if you want more money get a better job. provide for your own children. You don't need no man, remember?
Then you get the power, then you get the gold diggers.
That's why you got to make your own moves.
Not sure. For me it sounds reasonable. A key point is also that he has qualities that allow him to be financially stable. I think that also makes him more attractive overall, not just because of the money itself.
You aren't looking for financial stability. You are looking for a man that wants to be the sole provider for a family. Maybe you should stop telling men why you are rejecting them.
@Billlewis to me, if I was that well off financially, I wouldn’t be okay with my wife doing those things. But that’s also because I want kids. It doesn’t make any sense and seems very unfair to just fund a woman’s lifestyle when she’s not raising kids or anything. I were a solo-bachelor-millionaire I’d at least want multiple women, but I think the ideal life is to become rich as a man to be able to provide for your children (and afford to have your wife stay at home to raise them)
@Billlewis She won't get those benefits for free.
There is nothing wrong with wanting somebody who can hold down a steady job. I was not a big earner when my wife married me but I had a job I held for a few years and I went to work every day and got paid every week.
Because men are struggling and no one is helping them achieve success not even their women. Especially not their women because their women are too focused on themselves achieving success to care about the success of their man.
Well, there's also a difference between "I want YOU to earn enough for US" and "I want US BOTH to earn enough for US".
Woman are fighting for equallity but that also means they should contribute equally in the financial sector aswell. 🤷♂️
Because the men aren't financially fit so it's a double standard
Because usually their expectations of a “financially stable partner” exclude 90% of the male population.
Because in reverse they wouldn't talk to them so comes off as a move out of the gold diggers playbook.
We guilt women that want to be supported, cannot or will not support themselves, and that do nothing of any value and bring nothing but sex to a potential relationship.
Why do women constantly guilt men that don't wand kids?
If I don't want a kid, i shouldn't have to have one!
Because assuming she wants to feel safe and secured with a man that has such financial responsibilities.
They aren't talking about women who don't want to be with a bum, they are talking about gold diggers.
I don't doubt those men exist, but they are a loud minority. Not wanting to be with a bum is understandable, but so is not wanting to be with a gold digger. But I like to think those women are a small minority, too.
Ask yourself, who does this?
Do actual people actually do this or do you just see a lot of this stuff in your corner of the internet?
Because it never seems to be quite that simple
love of money root of all evil
cause you don't want a stable partner
you want the high life
why do women guilt trip men into accepting fat women as options? maybe its human nature
there's a difference between a symbiotic relationship & a parasitical one..
Same reason why women constantly guilt men that want a financial stable partner
I don't know, but I hope this stops soon.
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