In the #MeToo era is it better to let girls take the lead on dating?

Question

What do girls think?  Also if you are looking to ask out a guy who is hard to get/ isn't picking up signals like me 🤣 see the helpful thread:

VIVANT · Accepted Answer

I don’t think #metoo has anything to do with it.

It think it has always been a better idea for Women to approach first. It is safer. And clearer. And less likely someone will lie pretending they want more, when it’s just about sex.

I think it’s good for women to take the lead period, bc they are more vulnerable physically. It’s easier for someone to manipulate you if they are “ scheming” Less risky if you are in control bc no element of surprise. Women won’t approach guys they are uncomfortable with. Men are often complaining they feel like women they approach are uncomfortable.. So if women take over, everyone would be a lot more.

Also, since men claim they can’t understand women and have no idea if she is interested... take the pain of confusion away.

Women are more likely to approach a person they are interested in as apposed to just for sex. And more guys seem to be OK if it IS just for sex. Again it seems less problematic for women to approach first.

And like it or not we still 200s of years after supposed equality, are in a rut where women in order to be desirable, are often expected to be inexperienced to any suitor, but magically functional once IN the relationship... If it is the norm socially, for women to approach, we slowly get rid of the stigma against women having relationship experience. It will no longer be expected or the mark of attractiveness , that she is innocent naive and clueless and meek.. which means less pressure for her to play games and be insincere. Better for EVERYONE...

#DISCLAIMER

I think ANYONE should approach anyone they are interested in, provided they are respectful. I don’t believe in segregating cultural responsibility. I think it is harmful And stunts emotional Social and intellectual growth. I was just responding to the question, as to why I, think it just makes more sense, for women to approach. If you are putting it between genders.. which I don’t think is necessary. I DO think it is necesssry for it to be normalized that a woman with interest in a person be encouraged every bit as male counterpart to go for what she wants. Not the anemic 2+2 = 10 version:

“ Well go for it in the sense you should allow yourself to be interested, but don’t actually show it or DO anything go give the impression you actually ARE interested.. it’s unbecoming and looks desperate. ”

Can you imagine how the world would operate if the same logic applies do school and work. Be interested, but be silent. Tye best thing comes to those who wait. 🙄

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

Its better to have a tape recorder with her consent

Dongtai · Accepted Answer

I went 18 years hoping a girl would come up, say hello and we’d start dating. Only the girls I wasn’t attracted to would boldly approach.

As soon as I started making the first move, I started getting dates, having sex and getting into relationships. I learned that taking the lead makes things go my way much faster and I get to decide.

In regards to the metoo era, I think it’s more important for the sexes to understand eachother better. I’ve never been wrongfully accused of rape nor have I forced a woman to do anything. In fact I had a girl once tell me I was annoying for always asking if “this was ok” when we got intimate because I needed that assurance that she was ok.

If you’re a good guy, you don’t need to worry about becoming a hashtag. You can take the lead but make sure she’s 100% ok with what you’re leading her to. Some girls become silent and other girls say yes out of fear and later realize they didn’t want to but felt pressured. It’s really muddy. But my advice is ask. Always ask. If she says anything but a yes, fall back. Don’t beg or pressure her.

hahahmm · Accepted Answer

No. A man should always be the leader if you want the traditional benefit of that which is not having a life full of drama and chaos.

That said, in the age of feminism there is zero reason to pay for a date until she has proven she’s really interested in you and capable of focusing enough to give you a chance. If she’s going to openly treat you like 1 of 100 dudes why should she expect you to do anything special for her? That would be azz backwards.

If she can’t act like a lady, you don’t treat her like one. Period.

Mädchen · Answer

I have No Problem approaching Guys. But saying women should approach cause men fear they could be me too'd is Like saying women should stay away from men cause they're all rapists. The average Person is not a nutjob. Besides I wouldn't want to date someone who doesn't even Trust me that little anyways

EpicDweeb · Answer

I think there's a lot of wisdom in that, however, I think a better solution would be to start any relationship as nothing more than friends and only to approach the topic of dating once you have some idea of the kind of person they are. If you know that they're not the type to accuse you falsely of something you didn't do or aren't going to be spiteful if the relationship doesn't work out, then you can pursue the relationship respectfully whilst knowing whether or not it's safe to take the lead in the relationship. Likewise if they seem like the type who might try to hurt you or get revenge if the relationship doesn't go the way they want it to, you can either give them full control over the relationship, or... just not go into the relationship in the first place. Starting as friends leaves room for discernment. Meeting a person and dating them soon after really just doesn't.

Some_Goof · Answer

I think its too extreme to think a normal girl will take offense if yiu ask her out and think it as sexual harassment. I know it may happen but the chances are low i guess

As for women taking the lead, that's refreshing and good, nothing wrong with that, i fact many guys like it when women initiate the whole thing.

Cherokeehp · Answer

There is nothing wrong with approaching women and flirting. Just be respectful and back off if she seems uncomfortable or uninterested. It’s literally that simple. You can wait around for women to approach you if you want, but personally I think that’s not a good tactic.

The_White_Queen · Answer

#METOO was more about celebrities. Real victims like in the UK were ignored & silenced under accusations because they were white and perpetrators Pakistani, well no more.

sapphireruby · Answer

I think the whole #MeToo thing is a bit overblown personally. I do think it would be a good thing if more women lead in relationships. It is unfair to men and women who don't feel like they fit into a particular role to be stuck in it.

jayden888 · Answer

Seriously, the #metoo era isn't about being afraid to interact with girls. The girls who've come out were seriously taken advantage of. Do things gradually, win her trust and read her cues. But be the man and take the lead, that's what turns girls on. Important point - read her cues, suggest something and read her tone.

Also, to all the guys out there have a healthy circle of girl friends. I agree there are some girls who make false accusations, and that can tarnish a guy's image but if you are at least in talking terms with other girls, it will work to your favor. And women who put false accusations unfortunately, make a reputation for themselves, so don't let that scare you away from the right girl with whom you can share your thoughts and enjoy a good time with.

MissDawn7961 · Answer

I am a lady and I feel that men should make the first move and show their interest in me first ! which boys and men have done by talking to me , flirting with me in their own way and so forth ! I liked it too ! for that is the male and manly thing to do in my opinion ! as is taking care of me with their strong muscles and letting me know that I can feel secure from alarm when I am with them ! and being a gentleman and careful when they are holding our baby in their arms is a plus too

Bananaman177 · Answer

If you're not a 10/10, you shouldn't even look at girls, let alone talk to them.

Just go to work and come home. Maybe get yourself one of these holographic waifu thingies:

In the #MeToo era is it better to let girls take the lead on dating?

Women only want the best of the best of the best of the best. SIR! (With honors.)

If you're not that, if you're not perfect, women want you to crawl into a hole and die. If a tall handsome guy spits in their face, it's romantic. If you so much as talk to her, or even stand next to her, that's rape.

BladeMan · Answer

Mgtow is better. Women don't deserve any man. Fight against feminism, remove and destroy feminism. Then maybe men will start to date women. No matter they ask out to men, we men will reject them. We have to reject them. This is what women deserve. They don't deserve anything.

Women just love money and falsely accuse men for rape and harassment. They are just trying to drain men in every aspects. They just wanna use men. They search that how to use a man for her benefit. They never give happiness, love to a man. Women are so selfish and narsist.

Life is definitely more better without women. Men can save money, their time and so many other things. İn my country 2.5 million men are paying alimony to their ex wifes every month. Men are fucked up in my country Turkey. The most misandrist country in the world is Turkey unfortunately.

inchesfrommadness · Answer

As a girl, whenever I make the first move it never works. I'm never taking the first move again.

MajesticTwelve · Answer

Don't do that, that's how the enemy wins. Be a guy, just don't be a disgusting one like Creepy Uncle Joe (Biden)

Masteress · Answer

I don't like change. I'm not a feminist; I like tradition. I will make the first move to get to know a guy, but I at least expect him to take care of initiating more than half of the dates, some of which I may or may not surprise him and handle paying. Women can easily become hopeless romantics- I've been there. But a guy who really wants a girl will go out of his way to get closer to her.

Can_I_Get_a_Do-Over · Answer

This is not a group date. Lead if you want to. Don’t lead if you don’t want to.

Don’t let contemporary society impose its ideals on you.

Be yourself. Don’t be indoctrinated by propaganda or a progressive liberal agenda if it’s not your personal belief.

Just don’t be a jerk about it. Don’t victimize anyone. Don’t try to impose your stuff on others. Play fair.

SkipStop · Answer

Just don't approach anyone unless you want to risk your life. There should not be some social norm where it's a man's job to approach or a woman's job to approach. It's like buying a lottery ticket. You either risk losing money to get that gold or not play at all.

Barrabus_the_Free · Answer

It's better to just not date, just fuck. And only fuck bitches that live in another town (or even better, another state), AFTER giving them a fake name. Also never fuck them anywhere that you've got any ties to, like a friend's house. And not in a hotel, since you'll have to give a credit card.

chris0977 · Answer

The claim of feminism is "equal rights" not "equal responsibility"... I imagine a very careful choice behind this wording..

Nobody ever finds a feminist who pushes "equal responsibility", what's pushed is what benefits them, no mention, even outright ignoring of f less pleasant demands men are expected to carry along with these alleged benefits.

FunkyDrummer70 · Answer

I expect that you're talking about sex based on the way you worded your question. The reality is, it does not matter who initiates it. If a woman starts but changes her mind it's over. Even in the heat of the moment. It's a done deal. If it's just a simple question about dating, what does matter who asks who?

JustRollTheDice · Answer

Taking the lead and harassing are two different thiggs

cloud9vortex1234 · Answer

Its fine either way. I don't think its healthy to be uptight and overly cautious because of MeToo. You feel better openly taking the risk and being ok with whatever happens.

Anonymous · Answer

No, it's best not to bother with dating at all. They "don't need no man"? Fine. We "don't need no woman" either. They have their dragon dildos; we have our porn and our right hands. They can go and do one for all I care. They aren't fooling anyone any more- everyone sees them for the snide manipulative entitled victim-complex fake bitches they all are...

DorkVader · Answer

I think that Matt shouldn't have bitched up and approached Katie, or that he should work on how he talks to women if he thinks it will get him pitched out of a bar! Feminism has nothing to do with this

Gavyn · Answer

Only a coward lets something like that get in the way of him leading a relationship. A lot (and I mean a LOT) of women want a guy to lead, and are really turned off by the idea of them having to do the leading. Just don’t be creepy, watch what you do and you won’t have to worry about MeToo even a little bit.

_SOARER_ · Answer

Modern dating is retarded and evil. and its destroying male-female relationships.
Men should take the lead, but women should be patient, cautious and protective. They should also let their parents know who they are dating.

If they do that, the chances of getting molested and used like a whore are minimized greatly

curious6 · Answer

I don't think #metoo has anything to do with it but if some girls want to take the lead they should take the lead

chc0009 · Answer

The #MeToo era is getting out of hand. I believe that it empowers women too much to demand things without working for them. That's why I don't like women. They are too neurotic for me. People say that's sexist and I say, whatever, I don't hate them, I avoid them.

Prime_Sol · Answer

@dorkvader That's only true for female rapist. There is no "tread" of men getting lighter sentences.  There is a shocking trend of females not only getting lighter sentences, but not even been called rapist.  Most female rapist can sue child victims for child support.

Avicenna · Answer

No, it isn't. You will be waiting a really long time if not forever if you do. If you're respectful and friendly, you don't have anything to worry about until you're up for an appointment to the Supreme Court.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah usually the safest bet for the majority, god forbid you go to make a move on a lady and now you're behind bars.

Pamina · Answer

Nah, everyone should ask out whoever they want if they feel like it. Just do it in a respectful manner and accept no for an answer.

esotericstory · Answer

I guess. Men also have to work really hard at romance and sex now because if she decided after the sex she didn't like and withdraws consent, you are still a rapist. Maybe before the law, but once a tweet goes out saying 'X pressured me into sex and I felt obligated to say yes to it' followed by #metoo then you might lose your job, your family, future job opportunities. Bank account will be drained by legal costs perhaps.

neurolove · Answer

Either sex can take the lead. It has always been that way. And will always be. If you think the person may never notice, you, you have to be the one to lead. I know people like to asign rules to dating. But there are none if you're being honest.

Andytherese · Answer

I prefer guys making the first move, but I don't know if it's unfair to guys. But there are women that like to approach guys too.

MaxZ912 · Answer

To me men and women are equal, so it doesn't politically matter who takes the lead of dating.
If feel in every single case it depends on the circumstances.
If a girls likes a man and wants him she should take the lead, if a man discovered a female he wants to get he should take the lead.
Now, when a guy or the girls is obviously interested in you and is only too shy to show, I might take the lead - only if you also want him/her of course.

coachTanthony · Answer

If you as a man are not taking the lead then there will always be other men that do!

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly it depends on the girls personality. You will be able to tell if she's a "modern man-hating feminist", crazy people like that will get hostile as soon as a guy says hi. That's why I am very cautious when flirting with women.

LesterJester · Answer

Probably, since just about anything a guy says or does these days can be painted with the big and bold brush of "Unwanted Advance."

Passinggas · Answer

I say run m-fers run and stay the hell away of any female that hints or wreaks of this feminism sickness.

Shark_61695 · Answer

I wouldn't say better... it is an idea and should be possible. I'm oblivious so please smack me round the head with a massive sign if you want to distract me from oblivion :)

Anonymous · Answer

If you do you’re going to be single for the rest of your life. Unless you’re extremely hot, a celebrity or something like that then don’t expect girls to take the lead. They won’t.

corporateDrone · Answer

Ugh. No. I think you can take the lead without being rapey.

westwordbound · Answer

In a perfect world yes. But the vast majority of women don’t want to put in the effort. Metoo is all about having your cake and eating it too. Roles are never going to change.

Juxtapose · Answer

Well, I'm certainly not going to ask out strangers. I have to do a sanity check and get to know them a bit first lol xD So yeah, just be a lot pickier in who you ask out and you should be fine.

Darknut · Answer

I guess I'm gonna have to stop hitting on who I genuinely find interesting and just wait as the post implies. This whole thing is unnecessary. I can't possibly be the only one who thinks that either!

SirRexington · Answer

I've always said that they should. Enough of the men told to do all the work.

Rangers · Answer

Girls won't take the lead no matter what you do, lol

thinkaloudtolive · Answer

No. Fuck the #MeToo movement. Women don’t want to take the lead on dating.  They like feeling empowered but in reality, they want a strong man to take control.

disgustingweebtrash · Answer

They want you to take the lead so they can post about you on twitter when you get some $$$ or status behind you #MeToo

Guanfei · Answer

That's the paradox. Girls don't want to take the lead, because that would suppose taking all the men responsibilities in dating, like paying for both, approaching guys, and basically doing everything.

Djaay · Answer

Why can't men be men that they were born to be  , that were designed and intended to be.  Stop being acn Adam and following abunch of Eve's around.

Gedaria · Answer

Take things easy get to know each other. Keep the sexual things to a minimum until she is comfortable with you...

name_is_eric · Answer

Hell no. I'm no simp. Men should be the head of the relationship. Don't give women power over you, ever.

ThisIsMyOpinion · Answer

Not necessarily. I don't care about me too if I have to talk to a girl I will.

Texaskid1 · Answer

Yes.  All good looking women should approach me and be offered my superior seed.

Kiran_Yagami · Answer

No, it's better to heavily vet your women in order to ensure that they aren't going to pull any poundmetoo shenanigans.

The6ix · Answer

You know girls won’t take the lead, that will never happen lol.

JimboGB · Answer

Might as well give her the jazz hands and walk on eggshells. Just to be clear, it's a terrible idea.

Walrus_au · Answer

There is certainly nothing wrong with the woman taking the lead. But the key is not to be a dick.

grega239 · Answer

Makes no difference to me. I dont interact with women regardless.

SexyAshh · Answer

Im sure some of the pussy men of the world would love that, but NO. As a man, grow some balls and stop blaming the metoo movement on your shortcomings

In the #MeToo era is it better to let girls take the lead on dating?

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Should women being the ones making the first move in dating be the norm?

In the #MeToo era is it better to let girls take the lead on dating?

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Should women being the ones making the first move in dating be the norm?

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