My ex boyfriend added me on facebook?

[ramirezrebecca7]

We broke up a month ago, but in that time frame we were talking constantly.. finally I decided to let it go, because he was saying that he didn't want to be with me.. ( I broke up with him). I sent him a letter saying that I agreed with his decision and that same week he added me back as a friend. (we didn't talk for a week). he still has our pictures up, and he posted a couple days ago that he was "thinkin.." lately his posts have seemed depressing... I want him back but what the heck does this stuff mean?

[rdr005]

I think its time for you to be honest with each other and talk it out. Spill your feelings for each other and quit hiding. I think at this point, its also a matter of both of you wanting to be right. "He broke up with me," "I broke up with him because..." "he says," "I said..." "I didn't mean it..." so on so forth. Tell him you miss him, tell him you love him, and tell him you want him back (if that's what you want) but it won't be a possibility if one of you aren't willing to give all and try it over. He apparently misses you but wants to seem like he's so dam hurt and that everything is your fault that he won't admit it. Tell him its time to be honest, and let him speak how he really feels. Furthermore, if one of you aren't willing to come through for the other, then its time to move on; however, if both of you are willing to try again, and go for a serious committed relationship, then you should both apologize and try again. Understand that fights and disagreements happen in relationships, and that's what builds character and true commitment. Also, make sure that if you miss each other... its truly that... "each other." Not the feeling of "I miss being with someone" or "I hate being single," because if you compromise your feelings, then the relationship will break out into argument again, and won't make any progress.

As for him adding you back... it can be numerous things. For one, maybe he wants to check up on you to see what you're doing, and that you're not moving on... or how you choose to handle the relationship at this point. Or maybe he does miss you, but isn't sure how to (or is too coward to...) admit. As stated... I think you two just need to talk and be real with each other... and if things don't work out, block him and move on. Learn from the experience and both of you strike your loss... but don't stay tied down. You're young, live life.

[ramirezrebecca7]

I am not sure if he is ready for that yet. its been almost two weeks of No Contact.. other than by him adding me and saying some weird things over facebook.. (by saying that he was "thinking.." and waiting for me online at night). so I am not entirely sure what his motives are. In the mean time I am going to let him miss me. because I don't miss the fact of not being with someone I miss him. I loved him. so of course this is not going to be easy. I mean if he would have just left it after I brok

[ramirezrebecca7]

if he would have just left it after I broke up with him.. then I would say he doesn't care anymore.. because he didn't or wouldn't have said all those things to me if he wasn't trying to get a reaction.. I don't know why he would add me back if he said he was never going to talk to me again... so that was where he had to swallow his pride there

[rdr005]

The point though... in all of this... is whether its an issue of pride or not... you two need to talk, because no matter how you sugarcoat something... if you love him, and he loves you, then you should love together and be together. You don't get through hard times in a relationship by separating and letting time resolve it. Yes, its good that there's a point where he has to swallow his pride, but don't push it so much that he then loses motive and passion for you. Its not hard to do that to a

[rdr005]

guy. He may feel you want nothing to do with him because you're too busy trying to get him to act and do what you want, and force results. Am I accusing you of forcing results? no. Don't misinterpret me here. What I'm saying, is that if you can't learn to forgive and move on, and take things in stride... to understand that he's human and imperfect... you'll both be waiting for a long time.

[ramirezrebecca7]

I only plan on waiting for another week, then I will call him. and talk to him. I won't jump right into the relationship itself. but just be friendly and positive towards him to show that I am still there and happy. right now I feel like he is losing sight of that in life. I love him very much.. I would think he felt the same way because I felt it and he was showing it. but I am not waiting months or anything. just waiting another week. giving him some space away from me

[RI5OS]

You could be 'over thinking' a lot of this stuff. When it comes to facebook, everyone LOVES to play games. So with that, this could all just be in your head. If he added you, its obvious that he still wants to be in touch with you. Do you want to be in touch with him? If not, ignore it. If you do accept it, then that's where all the fun begins. You are gonna be checking out his profile and vice versa. Once he puts up a status you will be thinking about if its towards you...or not. Like I said, a lot of this is just mental games people play with each other. But you gotta be real with yourself. If you want him back then be up front with him. If you want him to chase you then have him chase you. The more games you guys play, the less chance it will get anywhere. Take care!

[ramirezrebecca7]

true, but I did try doing that.. he ended up deleting me out of frustration I believe.. saying that he was never going to talk to me again, when the whole entire month I was trying to get back together. all he kept saying was that we were never getting back together, but then he would get jealous, he would try to be friends, then he would change his mind and tell me to leave him alone and not talk to him ever again. what was I supposed to do. I was trying to do what I could but he wouldn't give

[RI5OS]

Well if all he is doing is going back and forth with you...then walk away. Its understandable that you still want him but why would you want him in that state of mind he is in?

[ramirezrebecca7]

I don't know how he is like this. because before we broke up.. he was saying how in love with me he was and he was showing it.. and something like this happens and he became super emotional.. which I understand.. but I was telling him I made a mistake

[ramirezrebecca7]

plus, I was thinking if he didn't care anymore, why the heck would he add me, and wait online forever..when he never does those things. but then again, if he cared, he would be talking to me. I am not sure if he is scared too, or is playing games with me. I don't know why he would.. in that case, shouldn't he take down the pictures of us, so he can look single and not have to care about me?

[RI5OS]

He is playing games with you. I don't know if you like to get played or not but either way, I be careful how you react to him. If he wants to keep those pictures up its because he wants your attention(which he accomplished). People who come off as 'iffy' are not the best type of people to play with. All they come with is games and lots of frustration. You should speak with him directly so you can clear the air. Once you have your answer, go from there...and stick with it

[integra2005]

I disagree. She broke up with him. If he's keeping his cool, he's doing fine and not showing that he "needs" her; maybe he actually doesn't care. But her being the dumper, she has to be more assertive.

There's different kinds of guys. The guys who can put their pride aside and some who cant. Me personally, still love my ex and I'm sure she feels the same, but because I was dumped, I'm not gunna work for her, but rather work on myself. If she sees what she missed out on...great.

[ramirezrebecca7]

ya but he had broken up with me before. we got back together. I did it out of frustration.. he said he was never going to talk to me again, and for a whole month all I kept saying was that I love him and that I wanted to get back together. finally, he kept saying some weird things to me. I left him alone, sent him a letter, and that same week he added me back on fb. he told me he was never going to speak, be my friend, or anything ever again. so he did swallow his pride in that sense, and stil

[ramirezrebecca7]

has our pictures up

[RI5OS]

integra2005: Why else would he keep those pics up? The guy is SENDING a message by having those pics up and by adding her. Are you not seeing that? Maybe...if you are the one caught up being in love. If the guy didn't care at all he would have taken the pictures down, NOT added her AND demonstrated that he is moving on with his life. Its amazing how blind people can be when they are in love. Try this: separate what's real from what's NOT. You will get over your ex so much faster

[ramirezrebecca7]

what okay I am confused. lol but I understand your point of view. I just don't know why he would put in the time if it didn't matter to him anymore. because I already told him how I felt about him, so its his move next.. he was the one who pushed me away.. I kept fighting for him.. but he kept pushing me.. so now I decided to give him his space and let things settle for awhile, so he knows what it feels like to be without me for real.

[Terabellum]

You broke up with him, it seems kind of weird to me that "you agree with his decision". If you want him back you have to ask him back. You can't break up with someone and expect them to beg you to come back. Put some effort into getting him back and it might work.

[ramirezrebecca7]

I did for a whole month, and he kept saying that we weren't getting back together and he said that we were done forever and what not. he told me to leave him alone.. and we were together for awhile .. so I figured he didn't want me .. so I sent it to him, because it was him who didn't want to get back together after I was trying for a month and nothing changed.

[Anonymous]

He's miserable and wants you back.

[ramirezrebecca7]

do you think that is a sign or him just screwing around with me?

[Opinion Owner]

He wants you but in his own way. Sorry, but I don't see future for you with him. This on and off emotions kills (trust me on that). Move on, please.

[ramirezrebecca7]

his own way? expalain.

[Opinion Owner]

He'll never change. He'll always be on and off. Could you put up with that?

[ramirezrebecca7]

he wasn't on or off before. so its just like a swarm of things right now. so I am not sure. because he definitely was not like this before the break up all he would be is loving me and what not.. he couldn't stop telling people that and he was happy. so he was never like this before and even when we were best friends.. I mean maybe the break up is settling in now?

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe his true colors showed up? I broke-up with my boyfriend of 2 years just last week because his true colors showed just in one week. I wouldn't know so you have to trust your guts on that, whether to give him a chance or not . Good luck! :)

[ramirezrebecca7]

wait his true colors were shown before the break up or after?

[Opinion Owner]

A week b4 the break-up & that's why I left. Also, afte the break-up he was so bad that I was convinced even more that I made the right decision.

[ramirezrebecca7]

see this was all post break up.. which was a reaction.