At what age did you feel like a grown up?

Question

Back when I was a child I thought once I was in my 20s I'd be working a office job , be married, have kids and have my own house etc.

Go into the future I'm still living with my mum and dad , can't drive , have a shit job I'll probably be fired from before I know it and I still love everything girly , pink and unicorns and I sleep with a teddy at night.

I don't feel like a adult at all , I still feel like a kid at times and if I'm honest I don't really want to grow up but I know have to for my life to progress

Makeushiver · Accepted Answer

I've gotta answer this because I just answered a guys question and in my answer said, " There is a woman on this forum who had a question re. "what makes you feel like a grown up" so I told him about your question if not your user name, If I can find his, I'll give it to you. He was soliciting opinions about whether he should consider marrying this woman who already has a child. I didn't realize I was answering your question as well as his.
I have the same neurotic mind that I believe everyone has to some extent, it's an addiction to self. I am constantly evaluating how any new thing, behavior, change of anything will either benefit or hurt me. It's what Buddhism calls attachment and it is - according to Buddhism- the source of all suffering; the belief we can't be happy unless I have a certain person, place or thing or if any person, place or thing must be avoided to keep me from "suffering". If/When I can act in some degree with compassion, empathy, & love. I feel grown up. When I act out of pure short term self-interest, esp if I know it will make someone unhappy; those times are when I wonder when I'll feel "grown up".

ADFSDF1996 · Accepted Answer

“Legally” I became an adult on my 18th birthday. Intellectually I became an adult on my 21st birthday. Emotionally I haven’t adult yet What I mean when I say that I haven’t become an adult in an emotional sense is that even though I’m currently 24 years old, I haven’t been able to fully adapt to adulthood since I don’t feel emotionally ready to take on adult responsibilities like paying taxes and bills, buying my own house etc. I’m still in college, I’ve got two more years before I get my bachelors but I’m still working on my emotional state in order to actually feel like I’ve become an adult. Right now I feel like I’m in my “encore” teen years.

lumos · Accepted Answer

I mean I just turned 26 and I still don't really feel like a grown-up lol. Mentally I still feel like I'm about 20. Of course when I think about all the experience I've gained in the past 6 years (vs where I was at 6 years ago) it helps me feel older and wiser, but in general it doesn't actually feel like such a massive difference. I wouldn't say that I equate driving to being an adult though. I don't need a car since I live in the center and I can reach anywhere by walking or with the subway/trams/buses. Cars are also expensive so it would be an economically unwise decision to own one without even needing one - that is more of an adult choice. ;)

I think being an adult isn't so much about giving up unicorns or "childish" things. It's about being confident in yourself and not letting anything get in the way of stuff that brings you happiness. If you gave up unicorns and pink things just for the sake of coming off as more of an adult, I'd actually be more inclined to equate that with that teenage type of childishness and insecurity, where you mask your own hobbies and interests just to "fit in".

Tiffany_Taylor_Made · Accepted Answer

I felt like a grown up the moment I turned 18. I was already out my parents' house, going to school, working, and living on my own terms. Considering that you're 22, nothing that you said is unusual. People your age are typically struggling financially and still have their childhood interests because 22 is still young. Being married, having a career, and owning your own home is extremely rare for a 22 year old. The early 20s is a period of self-discovery, being a student, and the age of where you follow you the path to becoming successful. Thus, don't beat yourself up for not being in the same place for person typically in their mid-30s or older. Just keep enjoying your hobbies, having fun, and following your goals. In other words, enjoy your youth, but still work hard and smart.

nightdrot · Answer

True story: When I was about age 11, I was at a lunch with my mother and one of our neighbors. I do not remember what the conversation was about nor even why I was there that day.

Anyhow, at one point, after I had made some comment or other, our neighbor looked at my mother and said, "What was he like when he was a baby?"

Without skipping a beat, my mother replied, "About like he is now."

So put me down for age 11 - though if you were to ask my girlfriend, she might say, "Eh, not quite there yet."

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I'll tell you when I get there! :) :) :)

Hannah_le · Answer

I fear for my future some day since I always hear people not being on their own and still needing to be dependent on someone , and having siblings I’m the youngest I notice that as well but I hope I will work harder to get to be independent. I’d say 12 because living in da ghetto the kids grow up quick so everyone’s driving , and I was smoking weed , Also extremely smart in school so I got a lot of honors n all. Now I have my own credit card , gonna get a job soon , and needing to move out once I’m 18 but maturity wise I grew up quite quick mentally but I will not know until I pay the bills some day 😂

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Personally I had to grow up very fast mentally. I had an unstable mother that would just kept on having kids and she made me responsible on looking after them all the time and by that I mean cook clean wash everyone's clothes doctors appointments teachers conference all while my mom cheated on my dad my dad left to them I had to deal with an abusive step F. I do not want to say the word father that man is a monster. By the time I turn 18 I was out of that toxic inviroment. My mom is a horrible human you have no idea.

Oigit · Answer

For me I felt like a adult by the time I was in late elementary school. So I would have to say 10 or 12 years old. I was raised by a single mother and I have a younger brother. Also my mother was diagnosed with leukemia in her late teens and she has had several bouts of various types of cancer through out the years as well. In a lot of ways I very much took a "man of the house" role for the sake of my younger brother and to help my mother as well. So I grew up quickly.

Honestly I wouldn't go back and change it. Because in a lot of ways it very much prepared me for life as a independent teen ager and adult. A lot better then a "normal" or story book childhood would have. Also it also gave me the skills to overcome many of the challenges that life has thrown at me over the years and made me embrace challenges rather then run from them.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

I don't think I'm ever gonna feel like an adult. I've move dout, I've started businesses, traveled around the country for work, hired people. Been broke, gotten into the stock market, moved out, lived with my girlfriend, supported both of us and done all this shit. Yet I still always feel like I don't know what's going on and I'm in over my head.

I wish so bad someone would just mentor me through life lol. But that's never gonna happen and I got too many responsibilities to wait for it to happen. So maybe that's what makes you an adult. Is taking on responsibility and fulfilling the needs of yourself and others. Still working on that one too.

Citizenkirk · Answer

My Grandparents took me out too dinner on my 8th. Birthday and gave me my first wrist watch ⌚. It was a Citizen, wind up spring driven model. Moderately priced and extremely reliable, I only had too adjust the time once every 18 months, and it was only off by a minute at those intervals. Not bad for wind-up technology.
Every boy had a wristwatch back they, and receiving an adult model like mine was a right of passage, as well as a warning that there would be no more excuses for being tardy for anything.

humanearth · Answer

Well I was moved out my moms place by the time I was 17, had my own place, a job and a girlfriend.

Ended up moving back home when I was 21 because my girlfriend left me.

I didn't really feel totally grown till my mom died. I was 25 when she died of MS.

There was no one I could go to. Mom I can't pay the rent, or mom I can't pay the light or gas bill.

Having my mom always there to bail me out. Sure was not very grown up. But when she was gone. I had no one to back me up.

I had only myself to do it and this time I had a kid to take of. My mom died shortly after my son was born. At least she got to see him.

She was I only 45. Let's hope I stick around a lot longer. My kids still need me and they are grown.

My oldest is 30 married has 2 kids and still living at home. She moved out once after turning 18.

Don't be like them, make that hard move, and get out on your own

Ozanne · Answer

When I moved out on my own and realized how I had to manage my money and life. For the first time I actually saw the consequence of a high phone bill, and how much liquor I was consuming. It didn't take long. I was about 20 when I figured all that out, and knew I had to wisely manage things better in order to keep afloat.

omg20 · Answer

I started to feel mentally and emotionally grown up when I was about 16 years old. But now that I realize it so retrospectively, I still don't feel completely mature, so I'm learning from my own mistakes and trying to recognize all the emotions that go through me and are not so clear.

Xcommunicated · Answer

16- had my license, job, car. Dad was working 2 jobs. Mom was gone for a couple years taking care of her dying mother.
I was on my own, did my own laundry, homework, schedule, meals. Even did the family bills from time to time. Had more freedom then compared to now.

SphynxUK · Answer

I don’t know when I felt like I was grown up. I’ve always been mature, but I still don’t feel like a ‘proper’ adult a lot of the time.
I think that’s because I’m on the spectrum and some simple make me anxious.
For instance, I hate driving anywhere I’ve never been before on my own. I need to memorise the route and landmarks as the satnav is too off putting while I’m driving. I need facts. Going somewhere afar is the big unknown for me.

lilyanony1 · Answer

17...
But definitely now that I am 30.
I feel like my life is calling me to take a lot into consideration. Maybe it's the early aches and pains. The slowing metabolism.
The bags under the eyes. The inability to be able to focus on more than one thing especially when I'm rushing.
The insomnia that follows after something that feels rather distressing earlier in the day.
The prescription glasses that seem to be getting stronger and stronger.

menina · Answer

I'm 28 and I still don't feel like a grown up. When I was a teenager I always thought that by this time I would be working and living by myself in another country. Unfortunately now I'm struggling to find a job, I still live with my mom in a country that makes me feel miserable.
I have a long way to go... 😔😔😔

MarkRet · Answer

In one respect, 21. I got a new job in another part of the state, moved out of my parents house, left my old world behind, and was financially able to live on my own. Socially and relationship-wise, I was still very backward, but slowly expanded my world and interests, learned how to not be so paranoid, learned how to connect with others, figure out the relationship thing, lose my virginity, and all that. By about 28, I’d say I was completely grown up.

RawIronhide · Answer

You'll feel like an adult when you spend all your money on bills and ur last 20 on gas. I do feel like an adult sometimes. It's not all bad but people expect you to take everything so seriously, as you should sometimes but if being an adult means no shinanigins or funny buisness ever, it's not really worth it. Luckily that's not what it means if you learn the rules and act responsible when it matters, you get to make your own rules, that's what it means to be an adult.

Anon621 · Answer

I would personally say 21. Once I was 21 I started realizing a lot of important things to me such as the importance of working hard and doing things the right way without taking shortcuts even though I was working in a cafeteria at the time. I also started to take school a lot more seriously when I was 21 as well. I have tried learning more things since then in multiple aspects of my life

Alexandrubaschet08 · Answer

From 14, i know that job i want to do, what to study to get ther, i get the job i wanted, just to finde how corupted whas evrething inside that job.
I don't live whit my parents from age 19, i had some girlfriend but when i whas a kid i whas very schared of the idea of marriage and have a wife and kids knowing that i'm a kid who think like an adult.

Kabluie · Answer

My parents always implied "when you're 18, you are out the door" kind of thing growing up, I don't think they meant it that literally but I kept that mantra in my head. I got a full scholarship to go any public university in the state, and took full advantage of it.

I did go out the door and never came back, going to school many hours away and never moving back in again. Total grown up play.

Gravit1 · Answer

Personally sixteen, I had been cooking dinners and watching over my siblings since 12, but 16 came with more realizations and responsibility. Living with your parents isn't as bad a deal for women, especially in UK, and at 22. However, you should invest in a license. That has immense economic opportunities. From farther work opportunities or even driving Jobs.

At what age did you feel like a grown up?

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