I like this eastern Asian man, and we've been chatting. I'm just genuinely curious what his ethnicity is, Chinese, Korean, Japanese, etc
I really wish I could distinguish the differences between them but I can't.
Yes, it's rude for some reason
No it's not
Other?
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What if we're trying to see if we should date or not? Does that make it any more or less appropriate? Not that his answer will change my mind about him, I like him a lot.
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I asked him, this is what he said: "Why would I be offended? I'm proud of where I'm from."
Is it rude to ask someone what their ethnicity is?
Before you decide whether to ask or not, 1st discover if the East Asian is 1st-generation immigrant or later. • If he is, then (in general) asking will be less likely interpreted as rudeness, since we 1st-generation Asians generally still love our country of origin and should (generally) be proud to state our place of origin. • If already born and raised in your jurisdiction, the question is more likely to be interpreted as rudeness, since they are more likely to see themselves as 1 of the other fellow-locals of the land, and asking the question already assumes their apart-ness from everyone else.
Personally (especially when I 1st arrived to the U. S.), I was surprised that the last-mentioned reaction even existed at all. It was later that I discovered it from a post on another website where the offended (who was 3rd-generation or more) did not consider his family's ancestral origins to be any way significant to him at all, and the offender kept using his family's nation of origin (& things partitioning to it) as the ever-used topic of conversation.
Also, realize that the ball is on the audience's court as to whether to be offended or not. You can try your hardest to avoid offense (and it is admirable to do so), but you can only do your best.
No not at all. I think if anything that's the best way to go around that sort of question without sounding rude. It sound ruder if you asked them "were are you from"? Or "what country were you born in?" If they look ethnically different from you but still speak the same language and have the same accent as you. You'll usually get a sarcastic comment back.
Someone once asked my British mum in the UK where she was from with a name like Nina and she jokingly said China. My mum is a white, blue eyed, blonde lady and speaks fluent English in an English accent were did she think she was from.
Not in your situation, but my siblings and I are part japanese. I myself look very European, so I'm never asked about my ethnicity, but my siblings have been spoken English to a lot of times in stores (which is not the native language). My three older siblings are doctors, and they get asked all the time where they're from by their patients, even though we've lived in our country our whole life, and we dont have an accent. It makes you feel like you don't belong in your own country, because we certainly wouldn't fit in, in Japan.
You can, its always not what you ask but how you ask it..
Like if you want to be very polite then circle through.
Just tell him you want to know more about him.
Start with asking about his hobbies.
His interests, then ask him about his schooling like were did he complete is primary and secondary education. Ask about the school and its name and you will get the location as well then you can say oh you are from so and so place I like it. I am interested to know more then slowly ask casually like going deep
I just said other cause I dont know, I dont even know what ethnicity means. I thought it was same as race but I recently heard someone insist they are different so I'm just lost.
It shouldn't be rude to ask, well sometimes anyways, you shouldn't ask the random person by you in the checkout line, but I dont see why I couldnt ask a friend or coworker.
All I can say is if it's too offensive for me to ask about it well fine, just dont ever expect me to care from that day on. I tried to learn and you said I was offensive so now it means nothing too me and I dont care.
I literally had a similar question earlier this week and got chewed out about it. I wanna see what people have to say this route. I think it’s rude depending on who’s asking and the intention behind it. I’ve been asked by guys who are sleazy and trying to objectify me. So when people that want to think they want to date me ask, I usually just keep walking because why does it matter? It’s not usually a compliment to me as much as I feel it’s undermining and dictating how much respect someone is gonna give me. I’m proud to be American and my roots but I’m not going to be someone’s goal or social experiment.
In todays world I can only imagine that there's droves of people that say it is, however I believe that as long as you do so politely and with genuine interest, it should be fine. I've always enjoyed learning about other cultures and their customs, so when I meet someone new from a different place, i get excited
People who are mixed heritage have issues with it they might consider it rude it's a Napoleon complex situation they have too much to prove in life and it shows up as a mental deficiency use your best judgement but normally it's not for normal people.
It’s not rude to ask what someone’s ethnicity is, but when in my home country, I hate when people say “where are you from?”. I know not all mean it in a rude way, but I’ve had some people follow up my answer with “No, but where are you REALLY from” as if I wasn’t born in the country I stated.
I enjoy the conversations that follow when people ask me where I'm from or what's my ethnicity. I think a lot of snow flakes and canceling culture is there nowadays. Plus if someone wants to purposely and bluntly be racist usually it shows by the way they say things and body language. Not by asking and showing curiosity.
I think it's ok to ask about their background but I'd bring it up with a little bit of studying first. I'd look up a few different Asian possiblities and bring that up. Are you this or this? I've heard this done before and if it's done right, it can be fun to talk about. I've heard plenty of people ask about someones origin country and even me asking my friend about her irish decent is more flattering than uncomfortable because you are taking an interest in their culture
Soften the start up. By asking the person. Hey I am really curious about this and I dont want to offend you either. What if I ask you what race you are? Or Would you feel offended if I ask you what race you are? I believe it is rude to predict someone's race. I heard Japanese and Chinese people feel offended if identified as opposite.
It's not rude, just say tell him your nationality and say what about yours but always make him feel open that your willing to date someone of his ethnicity?
Its rude if you're having a normal conversation, and then abruptly ask 'whats your ethnicity?'
If you can't focus on a conversation because you're too stuck on their ambiguous ethnicity, then you're the asshole. Its a normal question to ask, but it shouldn't limit their ability to be treated as a human being who still has value even if you 'dont know' or they refuse to tell you.
Thats good! :) Im adopted from asia and people get 'stuck' on the whole 'where i come from and what they think my political views are.' its like, bro, my parents are white, i was raised here just like you. Stop asking me leading questions abkut where my parents may or may not have died and Get over your own prejudice that im supposed to have different views as you. lol sensitive topic
You can ask but... I grew up around a lot of Asians and I never asked. It would just naturally come up that they would mention something. If you wait a bit he will probably say something that will give you a clue. But I was never obsessed with knowing either.
Just now. And you can never know for sure which ethnicity an Asian is. Like even tho I grew up around many I could probably only guess right maybe 80-90% of the time. Anyhow good luck.
Yes it's very rude if you ask if that person is that Ethnicity because they make most people in the neighborhood. Am Brazilian stereotyped a another East Indian based
I tan a lot when am outside 😐
of the Large East Indian Community in my neighborhood. Should know who East Indians are, get to know them. Instead of looking at Skin Color & Race. Am not going to act like someone's Culture because of Skin Color, and because they most people 🙄
It depends on how it fits into the conversation. I'm curious about people, love history, geography and people, and want to know about them. So, I often do ask about ethnicity, but only when the person is comfortable with me. I have no prejudices against ethnicity, but love to know about the people I'm with, and their backgrounds and lives.
Don't know; don't care. I've done it before. This huge-breasted "friend of a friend" I know here in Seoul. I found her attractive and she was about 5'8" with 34DDD's or G's. I asked her what her ethnicity was. She said Mexican-American, and put heavy emphasis on the "American." I feel like she was kinda annoyed I asked her outright like that, but that's more of her hang-up than anything else; it's a sensical question considering we live in South Korea. Not too many Mexican-AMERICANS, here.
No, it shouldn’t be. I can say one thing though and this is it. From reading a lot of social media over the years, I’m softer and meaner at the same time. That’s not who I am by the way lol. I’m still able to pull myself back. But yes, I can almost guarantee if you ask this question to an older guy who grew up all his life without social media vs someone who has... you will get 2 different results.
Like I said at the beginning, “It shouldn’t be racist.”
Honestly where I live is pretty diverse so its honestly a conversation starter that leads to polite conversation about our backgrounds and about how wonderfully diverse America is.
In my cases its always been a positive thing just last week I went to the doctors office and a man from South Africa was my physician. and I'm from Paraguay we had a very nice conversation
I think it is fine if you ask which Asian ethnicity they are. I would avoid assuming that they ARE a particular ethnicity, and asking "are you xyz?" They might not like it if you were wrong. But you aren't asking that way anyway... LOL
If you are polite about it, it's not rude. I live in one of the most multietnic towns in Lombardy and I'm too of mixed heritage, and it's not uncommon to ask people where they are from.
I don't thin it's rude but I'm sure some people would think so. I had a situation where there was this gorgeous receptionist I would see every week and I know she was Asian but not sure where from. I wanted to ask her but was really worried to do so since it could be a trigger for some people. Thinking back on it I'm sure she would have been fine with it as she was very nice and so beautiful. I regret not working up the courage to ask her out, I'll always regret that.
Obviously you're not chatting about anything of importance.
The simplest way is to ask where's he's from. If he's from America then he'll tell you and you can continue along that angle.
Take a conversation I had with a colleague. He'd seem American but in our chattering learnt that he was actually born in another country. Thus I learnt his ethnicity without asking.
If you were my 12th grade Chem 2 teacher, apparently it was very rude. I guess he had a very ambiguous look to him, so people asked him almost every day, literally "what are you." He would never say and one day I guess it was the last straw, and he literally threw a book across the room and demanded that people stop asking him that.
Its only offensive the way one approaches it and the context of it, since you are already talking to this person then there is nothing wrong about asking about their ethnicity.
Hell no. If you're going to let a guy bury his dick in you, I'd say it's okay to ask some questions about him. If he's so thin-skinned he can't stand up to some vetting from girls, then he's too mentally weak to deserve sex.
Lmao "for some reason". Honestly though why would it be rude? If he gets offended for you asking something when you're obviously not meaning to be offensive then dump him anyway.
Depends how you ask. I’m one of those people who is Hispanic but I look Asian. And I get abruptly asked what I am. People could be nicer when asking not just flat out, “what are you?”
Not to me, I know what I am and I'm okay with what I am. What I am is not the same as who I am. I never really understood why people took offense to that as long as the question isn't asked in a derogative, hostile or racist manner.
If the dude gets butthurt from a question like that then please do not spread your legs for him. Snowflakes do not deserve pussy... never have never will.
If you could tell somebody was Asian and so assumed they were chinese or something then that's rude but saying like "So, where are you from?" really isn't
No, I don't think so. I'm 100% white (75% Northern European, 25% Eastern European), and people ask me if I'm part Asian all the time since I have very high cheek bones and almond shaped eyes. I've never been offended
only a white liberal leftist would get offended if you asked him that. he wouldn't give a shit but a leftist 1000 miles away would, they would even riot and burn down a church from so much anger and TDS
I think if you can’t distinguish one ethnicity from another, it can feel annoying to person being asked. They’ll feel like you consider all Asians types to look the same...
This is a pretty useless point. It's not like every human has the ability to distinguish all ethnicities from another. It's got nothing to do with the person being Asian, you wouldn't really be able to determine what country a European person is from just by looking at them. It doesn't mean you think they all look the same.
The question is pertaining to the fact to man is East Asian, or didn’t you read that? I for one, CAN distinguish many different nationalities because they are so many where I live and where I work. That wasn’t the question. Nor were we asked to discuss how this is a regular thing with lots of people with different ethnicities or nationalities.
I was replying to your comment specificallyi, not the OP, and you talked abou "[distinguishing] one ethnicity from another". You can't just retract that statement.
It’ll be weird if it’s offensive. As long as it doesn’t come out in a fetish or rude way then people would ofc be comfortable to share. You learn about their culture too it’s rlly nice.
I get it, but what if we're trying to see if we should date? Does that make it any more or less appropriate? Not that his reply is going to change my mind either way
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