Do you more often bring out the best in people or the worst in people?

[AmandaYVR]

Best?

Worst!

[ShadezMcgee]

I believe that like attracts like and how you see yourself shows who you really end up interacting with at the end of the day.

I like to think I am a good person, but more often than not I tend to attract people who only hurt me or offer nothing of value which brings out the worst in me being my cynicism and distrust. I hate typing this because it is not fun to admit, but I am being transparent.

I try to bring out the best in people who probably don't deserve my time and it leaves me drained.

[AmandaYVR]

I respect you for your honesty though. That's admirable.

[Silas_153]

When I'm online I bring out the worst, but in real life I bring out the best.

[AmandaYVR]

Is the online part on purpose, because you don't care to be more civil or pleasant, or is it an inadvertent byproduct of the medium?

[Silas_153]

I think the problem is that it's actually far more difficult to effectively communicate online than it is in person, because you can't (for example) read the other person's body language, or draw diagrammes for them. Online communication for me becomes very frustrating, and I often get the impression I'm talking to a brick wall, because quite often the other person just doesn't understand the point I'm trying to make no matter how hard I try.

[AmandaYVR]

That's understandable.
I have a friend on here who would say the exact same thing. He feels he's an ineffectual communicator in print, but I think he's one of the better writers (and thinkers) here. So I know there's always the possibility that in this conclusion from someone, their own preferences, and judgement, factor in.
But yes, misunderstandings are extremely easy, and with blocking available, many don't even wan to try and check if that was the case.

[J2ohhhhh]

Tldr: neither, I always go for truth.

I don't really have any preconception of someone I like. I like to see the people's real selves and decide if I like them or not. It is kinda high risk high reward for them, because if I like them, I truly like them for who they are, but if I don't like them they cannot really say that I didn't see their values or anything it's just simply I don't like them as a person. I think the biggest difference two people can have is the ability to take this risk. And my number one reason not to like someone is the incapability to be rejected in this way. Most people would say that it's not their true selves, they have much more values and stuff, but for me if someone don't have this self-expression, I consider that they've show me that they built their whole selves around not to be rejected lead by simple interests such as being popular, comfortable and have resources. In Buddhism too much self interest is animalistic trait and people who possess those traits are going to reborn in the animal realm. What I'm trying to say that I think I bring out the truth from everyone. Sometimes people try to act tough and I aks them questions and smile and tell them random stuff and it has an effect on them, usually grumpy people are avoided and it really makes them think why I'm having a different approach and they often show a naive curiosity and silliness. I think I'm really good at getting into controversial topics talk about them so indifferently as they were just information and this often makes people comfortable to reveille their dark side.

[candycandy02]

I an a weird and awkward girl. I am not so nice and i am not so rude. When i am quiet, i look like a very cold person. I don't put myself under people and not over people either. I am more on the rude side than nice😅
But i would say i Probably bring the best in people.
I can be caring, loving and more if i want to.
I sometimes give people Good advices, help them out, comfort them. I am like a mother för my friends, cause they all come to me för advices.

I am Good with helping other, but i am bad with telling myself.

One of the worst thing about me is that sometimes i can tell brutally truth. But i read a person first to see if they can handle the truth, so that i dont destroy them or their life.

[candycandy02]

Telling myself*helping myself

[AmandaYVR]

Refreshingly honest. And detailed. I commend you. 👌

[Ez-Bri-Z]

I don't trust that I do either one really. I am capable of helping someone have a really great day or a really bad one, but for me to believe I brought out their best or worst really takes away from their own power and control of themselves. Even if I put people in their position of strength or weakness, ultimately it is up to their own mindsets to shine or fail.

That being said, I would love to be around when they hit their best because I enjoy seeing people happy.

[Bluemax]

Would it not be wiser to ask people who know me?

Time and time again, research shows when you ask people if they have a positive trait, they will disproportionately answer "yes."

Are you an above average driver? Most people answer yes.
Are you charismatic? Most people answer yes.
Are you attractive? Most people answer higher than what others rate them.

And so on. We are not at all unbiased observers of ourselves. And research shows we skew towards the positive.

[Bluemax]

But to answer your question, I try to bring out the best in others. As to whether or not I succeed, I'll let others be the judge.

[AmandaYVR]

That is true of males more than females.
Males are told they did well on a test, they will say it is their talent (test scores are faked.) Girls do not credit themselves as much, will say "it was luck."
Look at the vote.
But yes, I've heard the thing about driving. I don't think people would say yes to the other two so much. If "average" is an option, they'll pick that.

[TurboKid]

I make lots of people smile and laugh in person. I consider that the best. I might not be able to fix their life problems for them but I can bring out a laugh or smile here and there. Over text though, I sometimes think I bring out the worst.

[TurboKid]

Text vs. in-person as I see it:
https://youtu.be/GZ3QHTpMZgQ

[TurboKid]

Not like I'm in court for these things or playing with that much fire. I'll take a humorous no still as a no. But you know, my jokes that seem to work so well in person don't make people laugh online. Or maybe they do. I can't see their reactions. And sometimes I've pissed people off over text that never got the reaction in person. They can't see my delivery. :-D

[PaynefulPleasures]

ROFLMAO 🤣😂👍

[mk200195]

Everyone can bring out the worst in someone if it’s the wrong person. A sensitive person put with someone overly critical.. A talkative person with an introvert. That being said, my parents bring out the worst in me, and I bring out the worst in my mother. I don’t normally bring out the worst in people, unless they are overly critical, don’t respect emotional boundaries and invalidate.

[exitseven]

I think I tend to bring out the best in people. In the IT department I managed most of my technicians all moved on to bigger and better things, some went to college and got their degrees and some got advanced certifications. I encouraged them to do so and I led by example obtaining a second Masters Degree myself.

[FoxnEagle]

What would you categorize "torturing them with jokes and making them laugh to cheer them up, but other times making them laugh at inappropriate times which causes problems?"

[AmandaYVR]

Hmm. Yes, that is a brain scratcher.
Might have to get back to you on that one. (But I'm still glad I made it only a best/worst poll.)

[PaynefulPleasures]

I try to bring out the best in people but they are certain people that rub me the wrong way ✌️

[Still-alive]

you bring out the best in me babe :*

[PaynefulPleasures]

Aww you're so sweet and the same to you handsome 😚😻

[Jamie05rhs]

YOU definitely bring out the best in people.

I don't know about myself. That's a great question. I'd need to do a survey, I guess, to get objective feedback. If I bring out the worst in people, does that mean I need to change my language?

[AmandaYVR]

Aw thank you, Jamie.

[Jamie05rhs]

You're welcome!

[FreyaRed]

In job I can bring the best performance out of people, but in private I think I bring the worst out of people around me. Lot of people are very negative to others in my presence, I just don't know it's me or they are just that way.

[Lliam]

Usually the best. I try. :-)
I make a point of acknowledging people I meet, including strangers, and treating them with courtesy and respect. I try to raise people up.

The only people I may not bring out the best in are those who share their political or social opinions with me and then get offended if I share views that differ from theirs. If I agree with them, though, everything is hunky dory and we're new best buds.

[DarkCarousel]

We’re all the villain in someone’s story.
I don’t think I’m fully responsible for bringing out their best or their worst. But I have inspired some. Others, not so much.

[candleteabrunch]

The best. I really am an easy-going guy. But i can't please everyone and i notice sadly i do bother some who prefer tough guys not nice guys. I'm a nice guy to all men and women. I try. I try the best i can.

[Andres77]

It depends on the person.
If they're a good person we tend to get along well. If they're an asshole... maybe they sense that I'm not going to tolerate their bullshit.
So in them the worst comes out. But not around me, they tend to start rumors and try to cause trouble.

[DollAlone]

I would like to believe i bring out the best in people. I do my best to make outsiders feel welcomed and as if they are part of the group. I make lonely people feel wanted. People who dont have many friends, i introduce to my circle. People with no self esteem i help find traits about themselves that they can focus on and feel proud of

[DeeDeeDeVour]

I'm often told that I brighten up the day. So, it's a positive.

[LukeLugh]

It is hard to tell unless if I spent a long time with that person. I consider myself to be an optimist who makes people clarify what ails them through questions that are interpersonal in tone.

[Lionman95]

Lets be honest I try to bring out the best of people I care about for some reason. That´s not possible but what a wish.

[ArrowheadSW]

I certainly hope that I bring out the best in people. Probably most of the time.