What's your favourite way to say someone's stupid or being an idiot?

[AmandaYVR]

Like any of these? Or write your own...

(I decided to bold some of the ones I liked most. They're ones I haven't heard before.)

Ex:

• Not the brightest star in the sky
• The light’s on but no one’s home
• Not the brightest bulb in the box
• A few screws short of a hardware store
• Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
• A few cards short of a full deck
• About as sharp as a marble
• Smart as a bag of rocks
• The elevator doesn’t go to the top floor
• A few keys short of a piano
• The gates are down and the lights are flashing, but the train ain’t coming
• As smart as a stick
• Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
• An intellect rivalled only by garden tools
• Has an IQ of room temperature
• Not the sharpest crayon in the box
• Not the sharpest tool in the shed
• Driveway doesn’t reach the road
• Dumber than a bag of hammers
• All foam no beer
• As smart as bait
• Missing buttons on his remote control
• Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse
• Receiver is off the hook
• Has a leak in the skylight
• Too much yardage between the goal posts
• Half a bubble off plumb
• Donated his brain to science before he was done with it
• A few shades beyond blonde
• A few watts short of a light bulb
• Running on 3 cylinders
• Has the parachute but is missing the ripcord
• All volume no content
• Wouldn’t know if they were on foot or horseback
• The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead
• A shining example of why you should avoid inbreeding
• Would argue with a signpost
• Has a mind like a steel trap: rusty and illegal in 37 states
• The result of too much chlorine in the gene pool
• Not the quickest bunny in the forest
• The hard drive is spinning but the OS hasn’t been installed
• A few colours short of a rainbow
• A few sheep short of a flock
• A few kangaroos loose in the top paddock

[ohshee]

Tell how can you remember all this you must know a lot of stupid people LMAO if you have that many I think they're all great thank you for sharing mine is
So how long the doctor say you were going to act this way

[AmandaYVR]

I know a whole bunch of them (I tend to remember idioms, colourful use of language, etc.), but I came across a list and decided to copy over a bunch of them here.

"So how long the doctor say you were going to act this way"
I like it!!

[ohshee]

Yes I love when someone is making a fool of themselves I will use that one
Or like when my boss gives up his job he's very book smart but hands on you just doesn't get it and when he starts telling me what to do I just look at him and I say hey who's fucking this chick me or you

[AmandaYVR]

I gotta give MHO to this one. I keep coming back to "So how long the doctor say you were going to act this way?" This is my favourite.

Also, I feel a tad guilty laughing at your "... and I say hey who's fucking this chick me or you?" in that work context, but this is funny too (I presume you're not talking about a client but an inanimate object or a system!)

[ohshee]

Haha yes. not a person it would be whatever I'm working on it at that moment LOL

[Anpu23]

"I'm not exactly sure that (he/she/they) exactly understand the concept."

[AmandaYVR]

This one keeps making me chuckle. I don't know why so much.

[Anpu23]

Thank you for MHO. Because it's such a subtle put down. Like most of my pit downs it takes a bit of thought to get that the insult exists

[Anpu23]

Rather *put downs. I also sometimes just make music references such as hum "If I Only Had a Brain." Quietly

[AmandaYVR]

lolololol. The humming...

[Ez-Bri-Z]

¹"your mom owes you an apology for her body developing that giant head of yours during her pregnancy with you, but lacking the foresight to fill it with anything useful."

²"call me when your two remaining brain cells manage to crash into each other and spark any sort of creative response to this topic."

³"I wouldn't trust you to not eat the crayons, let alone be the brightest in the box."

⁴"your mental stability was built on a sand foundation"

⁵"All those weeds in your brain and not a single sunflower of thought."

[ObscuredBeyond]

"What part of [insert plainly observable factoid here] do you not have the ability to wrap your mind around?"

"Drooling black hole brainlet."

"Tide Zombie" (if it's political in nature, especially if TDS is involved and the comment makes no sense regarding how Trump has anything to do with the main topic.)

"We've got ourselves a real pile of neutronium here."

"What a pekin!"

"Check your Tide level."

But the most absurd trolls usually get a fancy nickname, especially on Facebook political groups.

Allen the Sleazehog. Tidefredo. DitchTheDrish. Fallen Angel. Alvin with Rabies. Baghead Bob (a reference to Baghdad Bob, but dumber and more shameful.).

[DaveToo]

Smart as

[DaveToo]

My favorite sayings are 1.) "Please don't try to match wits with me when you're only half prepared!"
2.) "Your exuberance is exacerbated by your own verbosity".

[loves2learn]

That second one is amazing! LOL

[DaveToo]

@loves2learn Yeah, "You like to hear yourself talk". You may be a bullshitter but you only like listening to yourself. Applies to most politicians, and preachers.

[loves2learn]

@DaveToo yes. A fancy way of saying that. I have met many non-politicians who like to hear themselves talk too. Ughhhhh

[ShadezMcgee]

-The vacant stare indicates that not all the lights are on upstairs.

-The wheel is turning, but the hamster's dead.

-I think you're two beers short of a six pack.

-Not the brightest bulb.

-Perhaps you should remove head from ass.

-Oof

[AmandaYVR]

Nice well-rounded list there.

[zeitgeist057]

I have a couple I like, depending on the situation.

- "Vastly finite wisdom"
- "Happy as a dead pig"
- "Working on a Darwin Award"
- "vapor locked"

[AmandaYVR]

Those are unique. Haven't heard any of them.

[Lliam]

Moronicus Maximus
Flunked special ed
Village idiot
Block head
Muscle head
Bubble head
Bone head
Air head
Smart as a turnip
A few doughnuts short of a dozen
Sniffed too much glue
Bright as a burned out bulb
As genius as Jello

[Andres77]

He's not quite as smart as a monkey with a stick.

(How monkeys put a stick in the ant mound and sucks the ants off when he pulls the stick out).

[AmandaYVR]

That IS clever, how they do that. 😃

[RenegadeSailor]

"What in the slap happy actual fuck is your major malfunction?" has been a personal favorite and long time classic.

[AmandaYVR]

What movie is "major malfunction" from? Very familiar. Some cadet training scene?

[RenegadeSailor]

Full Metal Jacket

[loves2learn]

A Stanley Kubrick classic.

[najekim]

Some place is missing their town idiot.
Can't find two brain cells to rub together.
Bless his/her heart (from the deep south).
No branches in his/her family tree.
Lab experiment for de-evolution.
Monkeys are smart than him/her.
Makes Jar Jar Binks look intelligent.
Wannabe Darwin Award Candidate.
Studied all night for the Wassermann test.

[IAMNathanael]

"smooth brain"

It sounds like a compliment at first

[AmandaYVR]

hahahaha. It does, you're right.

[Pinay_ako]

You’re the brightest star. Earth is so lucky to have you.
if the jellyfish can exist without a brain, so can you.
if stupidity is a superpower, you’re superman.

[Jamie05rhs]

Wow... Lolll

[J2ohhhhh]

Evolutionary cul-de-sac.
Fuckwit
Fucknut
Tool
Think s/he is a Kazakhstan expert, cus watched Borat once.
Their IQ is lower than their age.
Who's the one keep reminding him/her to breathe?

[JustinTimberlegs]

Very typical of a nerdy guy but my favourite is "The hard drive is spinning but there is no OS installed" 😂 very impressive list, thanks for the smiles 😊

[Jaximus-Lion]

Here is my method, pretty effective. It goes like this! I just tell them they are stupid/idiot and i explain why i just called them that. Irrational response as always followed a dumb action which makes me add another sentence with a smile on my face : thank you for proving me right. Classic 👌. They are too stupid to understand all the ways you mentioned there

[DJB72]

Five beers short of a six pack
A wave short of a shipwreck
Driving only 3 wheels
Knitting with only one needle

[tatianamay]

when it was raining brains, you had an umbrella

You aren’t the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don’t die

[tatianamay]

Although, I generally tend to avoid calling people names haha. Good question by the way

[loves2learn]

A few sandwiches short of a picnic is my fave! Tho I do use some of yours sometimes too. Like sharpest tool or brightest bulb.

[exitseven]

Living proof that you don;t need your brain s much as you think you do but you can't get too far without a liver.

[PinkLady21]

As thick as two short planks 😂
Or as thick as pig sh#t 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
Not very nice ones but yeah….

[LindsayR07]

They are a living indictment of the public education system.