Is it normal to hate being a parent?

[Anonymous]

I hate being a parent with a passion. It’s really because I wanted an abortion and couldn’t get one. Then I discover something is wrong with my child (probably adhd) so I’m not a happy camper. People are saying it’s PPD (Google it) but I disagree. I just hate being a parent and miss my previous life.

Yes

No

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend and I have lived together 15 years next month and I am the proud besotted father of three little Munchkins. (Plus I have a son with another woman.) They are the greatest gifts a woman could give to a man. I could not imagine my life without her or them. The make my happiest day happier, and they make the hard days so much worth the stress.

It can be exasperating at times. It can be worrying at times. It can be hilariously funny. The one thing it has never been is boring.

Our oldest - currently 9 - is a live wire. His life's motto seems to be - "Why walk around obstacles when you can just walk through them?" We are pretty sure that he was the first second grader ever to apply to join the Marine Corps and we are pretty sure he was on the team that took out bin Laden.

He is also ferociously protective of his younger brother and sister. When once his younger brother was crying, saying he was being picked on at school, older brother said, "Don't worry (name), I'll protect you." We were pretty sure he would, too - with a tank.

Younger brother is his older sibling's temperamental opposite. So much so that I've asked my girlfriend what the mailman was doing the week our second son was conceived. He is our little cuddler.

When I get home and the other two are flying around the house, he will climb into my lap, look at me very earnestly, and say, "Did you have a good day today, daddy? I was very busy today..." "Oh were you?," I reply, to be then regaled with the days doings at school. (He loves school and he loves his teacher.)

Our youngest, our daughter, is my little princess. That does not mean though that I am not as tough on her as I am the boys - Not!

Our conversations go something like this (or some variation on the theme):

Daughter/Princess: "Daddy, I want a pony."

Me: "You want a pony? What kind of pony? How about two ponies? We can put them in the backyard, the neighbors won't mind. Want to get the ponies this weekend? How about three ponies."

At which point my girlfriend rolls her eyes - she has to do that a lot with me - and says, "You're not getting her a pony!!"

Suffice to say I am currently covertly searching for the perfect pony to live in our suburban neighborhood backyard. As I say, the neighbors won't mind.

Here's the thing. From the moment they were put in my arms I remember thinking - the tears welling up - "Gosh, I don't even know you and yet I would throw myself in front of an oncoming train to protect you." It is the most unconditional love I have ever known.

Suffice to say, if my girlfriend told me tomorrow that she was pregnant, you would not be able to wipe the smile off my face. (Given how lax we tend to be about birth control, it is a wonder we don't have ten children anyhow.) I would be walking on a cloud.

Bottom line, it is not normal if you appreciate what you have and the trust that has been put in your hands. Yup, it can be hard, but few things are as rewarding.

In any case, that little person needs you. So get yourself some help and love that little person who is NOT responsible for how you feel. YOU are not the main priority and knowing and acting on that is the difference between mature adulthood and mere self-pity.

[Opinion Owner]

Just to add, you cannot help what you feel. However, you can help what you do about it. As I say, that little person needs you and there is where your first responsibilities lie. Meeting that will, in the fullness of time, make you a better person.

[exitseven]

Now that my kids are grown and gone my wife and I often recount stories like that. My kids used to leave their bikes parked in my garage bay. When I would come home from work I would open the garage door and see the bikes parked there. I would have to get out of my truck and move them. I never got mad bout it because I realized that someday I would miss all this. I really was right about that.

[Opinion Owner]

@exitseven Yeah, believe me, I get it. Obviously I want my children to grow up and have happy lives. Yet, there is a part of me that just wishes I could keep them right where they are forever. I love being a "daddy," but in its' way, it is not an unmixed blessing.

[exitseven]

You don't say anything about your life circumstances. Being a parent is not for everyone. It is a huge responsibility and many are not cut out for it. I had a hard time adjusting to it but I am glad I had my kids and mostly enjoyed being a parent.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[starfoxxy64]

I do not know how bad you think your life is , yet I feel more pain and sorry for your own child since you say YOUR worried about your own happiness? 🙄 about having a child. Because 1 , why did you not just give your so called freedom to another better hopefully loving deserving person or family who might want to have a child of their own. Yet they might be having difficulty in their personal journey of parenthood. You are being a selfish person. That is my opinion. And you say you're supposedly between those ages you posted? It seems you're very immature to even have a child of your own.

[starfoxxy64]

And also if Truly never wanted to miss out on being your promiscuous party self even if I don't even know you but it seems like you are acting very immature and just want to party or do whatever the heck you want is your business yet it's your business also to make sure you don't get pregnant you think about it you always had choices plan b also birth control never thought about that cuz if you're on birth control maybe you would have probably not gotten pregnant or made for the man would have used a condom even if he was allergic there are nine lengths non latex condoms cuz any man could say oh I'm allergic to non latex yes what ask all these men around here on this side or even look it up online yourself I mean come on you call yourself a female yet you're acting like a little 18-year-old not even in mature age say it's posted and I don't know if anybody else wants to agree but do it every choice not to have sex unprotected I mean it's honestly sad that you thought you were going to get positive out of this question.

[performerwannabe]

I'm not a parent but I feel like if a child grows up with a parent who didn't want it, not only in the first place but hated every second of raising it... Man that child is gonna end up really messed up in life. You should consider your options.

[Anonymous]

Not hate with a passion, no. Not good for you or the child.

It's a vocation, particularly for a woman. Where the child has special needs, the support and extra learning can seem endless.

I'd guess you are not getting the support you need. Whether you would always resent having your child, I don't know, given you wanted an abortion. Maybe you could have given the child away, maybe not.

[hhadeshatesme]

No it’s not. If your certain it’s not ppd then maybe explore options for giving them up for adoption before you end up fucking that kid up mentally.

[Guy13]

It does not seem normal to me. Some days are for sure train wrecks but not Parent…

[Staximus]

Maybe your family or friends can take care of the kid while you get back to smoking meth with guys who have mullet hairdos and wear iron maiden shirts

[Juan4574]

😂Congratulations to her father, if my daughter wanted to have an abortion, I would throw her out of the house.

[Juan4574]

I misunderstood the question, I thought it said "is it normal to hate my father?"

[NumberOneStunna]

Of course, being a parent sucks. You work overtime for the rest of your life to raise someone who'll just rebel and abandon you!

[Harbringer26]

Something is very broken within you if you cannot love your own child.

[jshm2]

You're just depressed.

[Avicenna]

It's not normal, but it's not unheard of.

[Anonymous]

Sadly, it is very common.

[HippieVeganJewslim]

I don’t believe in normal.

[MountAverage]

It's more common than people think.

[MiseriaCantareAFI]

You miss being a slut, right?

[OddBeMe]

I bet its more normal than we think.

[SmokinAces2000]

Do you love your child?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

No..