I hate being a mom?

[Anonymous]

My oldest is 22 but I didn't raise him. I was a teen mom. I was basically child free for years and then fell pregnant 18 years later.

Many days I looked back into my carefree peaceful and spontaneous life. Random naps, outings and most of all I did have peace and was a tiny bit happier.

And now here I am with my second child who has ADHD, ASD and ODD. And I'm miserable and wonder why I did this to myself. I always wonder would I be happier if I never had a second child or is it only because my second child has such awful fucked up and challenging behaviors.

Normal or not?

Not normal but understandable based on the situation

Normal I guess

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang girl, I can totally understand why being a mom, especially of kids with difficult behaviors, would take such a huge toll on you and make you feel that way sometimes. Having a typical child is hard enough, but with all those diagnoses your younger one has, it must be exhausting dealing with their challenges every single day. No wonder you look back fondly on your more carefree years before. It's really normal and human to wish we could redo certain life decisions when things get really hard!

That said, try not to be too hard on yourself - you wanted to give your first kid a sibling, and no way to know the second would have such intense issues, you know? Maybe talk to other moms who've been through similar - I'll bet lots have felt like you do now at some points. Is there any way you can carve out more "you" time, even just 30 mins a day for a walk alone or whatever? Taking care of yourself a bit could help you recharge so you have energy for your kiddos. It's okay to feel what you feel - don't beat yourself up! You're doing your best and they're lucky to have you. Hang in there girl.

[rosemilk]

you just need the proper care, for both of you. handling ADHD, ASD, and ODD is difficult for anyone experiencing it and seeing it. so while it is hard on you, it is also hard on your child. i hope you are getting your child help for this, it'll make it easier on the both of you. it doesn't have to always be a struggle.

i get that you're asking yourself "why did i do this to myself" but your child is asking themselves "why do i act like this? i hate this. it doesn't feel good to be like this". so please think of your child

[jazzy34]

Are you getting help with him? Since he has all of these issues, do you have a support system who you can rely on?