I'm not happy with being a mother?

Question

I'm 20 years old single mother of 1,5 years daughter. I'm not financially stable and I'm staying with my mother (she isn't financially stable too) and her family, and they're all toxic af.. I'm staying with them just bc I need them for now. And no support from her dad, he didn't even want to see her once. Plus my baby is very stubborn and moody, she isn't easy to deal with. i don't have any motivation to deal tbh. I love her so much but i don't love being mother at all. I can't even tell this to anyone in real life bc they'll think i'm not a good mother. Even if i tell, there's no one who'll understand me. I don't enjoy life anymore tbh. When 20 years olds enjoying their lives and improving theirselves, i can't even go to school properly or go outside. I accepted that having child was very dumb idea.. but the lesson of this mistake is too heavy. I ruined my life and it will never be better again. I've been feeling so bad for very long time and ion know how can i be better? I just feel like leaving everything and escaping this city

ohshee · Accepted Answer

Ok I have to be honest and you have to be honest you have just said and have done the hardest part and that is to put all your emotions your feelings in words and saying them out loud that is great because that's what you have to do re-read everything you just said did you accept it in order for you to become better or change you have to accept it you have to acknowledge it that is the hardest part admitting and be honest with yourself once you acknowledge something then you can do something about it understand the position you are in you can either stay in that position or you can change that position it's up to you no matter where we are in life at any given moment we are right where we want to be because otherwise we would change it I hate seeing it to you like this but it's the truth you are right where you want to be otherwise you would not be there you would change it... And that's what you are doing at this moment you just don't know it by saying those words you are ready for change you don't like being where you're at I tried in your words you are saying I'm ready for change I don't want to be this person I made a mistake but I'm going to change it and I love you for that you are a bigger person that you even know or even understand but you have to have confidence within yourself to change and this is your very first step in doing that and I applaud you for that I hope you understand what I'm saying and I hope you take it as a positive with the all the words you just used you basically said I'm going to change even though my mother didn't change for me I'm going to change for my baby to make my baby have a better life than my mother gave to me I believe in you because I believe everything you said is the truth you just don't know what you said and how powerful it is the deeper meaning of everything you said look at that don't feel sad don't feel sorry don't feel bad for being Where You Are feel great feel good feel positive for where you're going to go and who you're going to become you have deep insight listen to it see it feel it taste it touch it become it your message is so deep and so powerful re-read it 10 times if you have to understand your subconscious I believe in you 100% And I know you're going to become the best person in this world that you can for your daughter are you baby

Tunasub · Accepted Answer

Well, I'm not going to drop the bomb on you but I was 17 with 2 children. You decided to have sex and now you must grow up faster than you wanted and make sure your children grow to be respectable children and then in to young adults as well... didn't think about this you spread your legs and yes what I say may be harsh, but it's the reality of the poor decisions you've made. You know since you didn't choose any other route to go with the pregnancy have the responsibility of being a young mother. OWN IT!. don't take out your lack of thinking and bad judgment the children. They are innocent and you were a child when you gave birth yourself.
There is one thing that you must understand. You can still do what you think you can't.. go back to school, if you so choose. You just can't do it when the people with no children can. Work hard and be the best mother for your children that you can be and you will be rewarded with great children. Respectable productive human beings because they will see that you didn't give up and that you sacrificed for them and they will be as proud of you as you're them. Trust me, I have 3 boys that are police officers in the military and a daughter who manages a car dealership. Some of what I said may sting but I'm qualified to give this answer if non else on here. GODSPEED.
IT GETS BETTER.

K-I-S-S · Answer

I think you actually might like motherhood, just the monetary situation is causing a lot of stress.

Get that fixed. Start a small business, sell services, food, clothes, woodworking etc etc. Solve some need or a problem you see.

Can't turn back time. Just make the best of it. On the plus side you got a kid early so you are still young when she is 15 and you will have more free time to live. Just leave it at 1 for now.

Nik1hil · Answer

Now abortion seems like a Good choice!
Doesn't it...
You were emotional and kept the baby..
You should have been logical.

Now you need to be logical..
STOP hating your life.. Or the baby..
Baby is part of you... you had it when you were 15.. As soon at she turns 12 you will be 27 and can return back to having a proper life..
Be logical.. Money is problem with you..
I can guide you and help you in making a lot of money without any investment!.. Being a women is like being a money printer.. You just need to learn how to print!..

ananias55 · Answer

Take responsibility for your actions. You had the choice of aborting but you didn't. You chose to keep the baby.

I can't pretend to know your struggles or your pain, but life isn't easy. It sucks. Your baby is now your world, you can't have it any other way anymore. And yes that will effect your dating life and your social life.

So stop obsessing over what you could've have and instead embrace what you do have. Cause it's going to drive you crazy.

If you're not happy, then don't have more. Give it 18 years then enjoy your own life after. But you can't have the life a single 20 year has anymore. That was something you rejected for yourself.

BCRanger10 · Answer

Babies are rarely ever easy to deal with. Being moody and stubborn is standard operating procedure for them. I say this as the father of a nearly one-year-old boy. They need a lot of attention and care.

Now, that being said, what exactly is making you feel this way? Is it because you're stressed out from parenthood?

OddBeMe · Answer

I wish teens were taught sex ed sooner. I’m sorry. I can only suggest learning as many skills as possible, find the best job that makes you the most money possible - as that’s the only way you can feel true freedom.

worldscolide · Answer

Put her up for adoption.. Sometimes the biggest act of love is ve you can do is letting go so someone else can give her a better life.

Sam_The_Savage · Answer

You're paying for mistake you did.
But whatever happened is happen now it's not your life anymore. Think about your daughter and focus on giving her best life.
Work. Do jobs. Do business. Money n success is the only medicine will work for you now.

exitseven · Answer

I don't know how you can fix this. It sounds like you are a product of your environment. The thing you need to do however is make sure your daughter does not make the same mistakes that you did.

Anonymous · Answer

Depression, perhaps post natal. You're in a difficult position so understandable.
It's possible you'll find a saviour, and a brave few manage education and motherhood although I suspect they have a lot of support.

Paulychicago10 · Answer

Don't make it any worse by abandoning the kids. There are places that help single parents like yourself. Help you get back to school. Just have to do a search and take advantage of it.

jimmy2 · Answer

Ohh God bless you

Titlover01 · Answer

If you need someone to talk to you can dm me.

JessieBellll · Answer

Deal with it

I'm not happy with being a mother?

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