I don't have it in me to ever spank a child and I'm Latina... is this weird?

[Vesuvius87]

I actually dislike that practice and was thinking of making a video on youtube to speak against it. If it were up to me, I would try to get this to be outlaw in my country just like it isn't allowed in some states in the US. I used to live in the US long ago; from ages 4-20.

I'm childless at this moment but will have that issue taken care of soon. I can't ever imagine hitting my child and then telling him/her ''I love you''. If I wouldn't tolerate getting hit by a partner, why should it make any difference? To me spanking is still hitting but people just sugarcoat the word.

Yeah I'm against spanking children and I'm Latina, is this weird? There are several other stereotypes of the Latina I don't fit either.

Updates

+1 y

I'm mix. I'm not 100% traditional on everything but not 100% westernized either. I have both worlds I guess. I feel like talking against it soon. My only though thing is to gather more people on this too.

[Pyrofox]

Hitting just teaches insecurity to communicate as well its okay to hit others if it means to get a point across which just leaves ones kid to find out just how ugly the world is when they hit the wrong person. Or misunderstand their own strength and discipline and end up commiting homicide. If I discipline one of my nieces or nephews I make them have to earn their allowance or make them get fit and communicate to them one on one what they did wrong. As a result XD in my case I have successfully gotten my 3 nieces 2 nephews to a physical state where they can fully carry me XD. (Note I'm close to about 210 lbs )

I find spanking, time outs and privilege removal are all just lazy parenting and failure to actually explain what the kid did wrong.

[Vesuvius87]

Hitting teaches nothing other than just being fearful of the consequences but never explains why the action is wrong and the child doesn't really feels bad about it, learned nothing. That to me is the laziest parent ever because all they wanted was to get rid of their own frustration. They lost patience and if you lose patience, then why are they even a parent?

I find a combination of earning allowance, time-outs and privilege removal and some creativity should be it. As long as it's consistent and the parents take all the effort, patience and time, it should be you a well adjusted kid.

[Pyrofox]

To me I prefer teaching them to get ahead and focusing on progress rather than punishment being about holding them back. I tell them to be better.

[Anonymous]

It's possible to raise your kids without hitting them, I did it. You have to really take timeouts seriously though. Like take the child in a separate room if they misbehave and sit with them. Explain exactly what they did wrong and why it was wrong. Don't let the child leave until they can explain what they did wrong and why it was wrong. Then give them a hug and let them go back to playing. The parents who just put their kid in timeout and don't explain anything are just lazy and the child doesn't learn anything. If the child is crying and doesn't want to stay in the room with you, then it's time to take away their favorite toy or game until they're ready to listen.

[Vesuvius87]

If more parents like you took their roles as parents seriously and actually teach, the kids would be better. Lazy parents go two extremes, either do nothing at all or hit to get their rid of their frustrations, which both suck.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks, my son turned out amazing.
The only frustrating thing is when you send your well behaved child to school after spending years teaching them, and then some other kid that was hit by their parents starts hitting your child. It's heartbreaking and really pisses me off. All parents need to do better for this to work properly in my opinion.

[Vesuvius87]

yeah spanking creates bullies. The school should have a zero tolerance policy for bullying. The bully needs to get suspended from school.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah I remember having to go talk to the Principal and get the other boy moved away from my son. They had to keep moving that boy around because he was hitting the other kids. Finally they had to hire a teacher's assistant just to babysit that kid everyday in school.

[Potteplante]

I'm in Denmark.

Spanking is a corporal punishment and those are illegal. We don't even have a word for spanking - it just translates into tæsk, which again translates to beatings. There are in no circumstances an excuse or a valid reason for it to be acceptable to beat your child.

[Vesuvius87]

I wish there was a way to make Peru (my country) make spanking illegal to be honest, erase that terrible practice.

[Vesuvius87]

I want to advocate against it and make a difference but I would likely need more people willing to stand up against beating kids.

[BJP21]

Throw a chancla at them. You Latinas have good throwing... LOL JK

There are other methods and strategies you can use outside of spanking a child, timeouts, grounding are good ones. It's all in your voice too. Its ok to raise it but not have to shout. Be firm and assertive that you mean what you say. Use words like NOW or RIGHT NOW. Spanking for me would be a last resort.

[Vesuvius87]

yeah I used to have a more passive attitude (contradicting to this so called feisty, hot tempered stereotype... I was shy during my younger years, lol) but nowadays can be assertive and straight to the point without the need to place fear.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Latina or not. A parent only has about 7 years to home train their kid on how they ought to conduct themselves at home and in public.

A child is bound by foolishness so they need to be spank as small children when they do bad stuff to drive the stupidity out of them because once a child has formed his or her personality and grow up on undiscipline, it's too late, you will longer be able to control them.

They will give you hell, the teacher hell and society hell too.

[Vesuvius87]

No they don't need to be spanked in order to be good people. You can still discipline without spanking. Discipline doesn't mean hitting if you didn't know that.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

You don't know what the hell you are talking about.

[Vesuvius87]

It's you that don't make sense. If the child does wrong then it's my job to have all the patience in the world to teach, be a guide... not take the easy way out by hitting.

[Chazmatazz269]

Children who have never been spanked grow up to be entitled and have delusions about how the world works. You’re doing no child a favor by sparing the rod.

[Vesuvius87]

I won't be a lazy parents that relies on spanking to get your points across. I have all the time in the world to teach.

[NamerOfStars]

Children who HAVE been spanked grow accustomed to violence and using it to solve problems, and develop delusions about how to MAKE the world work. You're doing society no favor by spoiling the child.

[Vesuvius87]

@NamerOfStars
Not spanking doesn't mean spoiling the child. You can eliminate corporal punishment but that doesn't translate to letting them do whatever they want to without any boundaries established.

[NamerOfStars]

Teaching an impressionable child that violence is the way to make people do what they want- not words, not reason, not bargaining or appealing to their higher instincts to work together- is very much spoiling the child. It's taking what could be a useful, happy, productive member of society and turning them into another thug- which is something we're not exactly hurting for.

[Vesuvius87]

@NamerOfStars
This basically. I have yet to understand how these people justify hitting kids.

[Guy13]

No one likes to spank but spare the rod and spoil the child. Look at the children around you who have never been spanked from 20-4- years old...

[Vesuvius87]

I'm an atheist too so I don't believe in the bible nonsense thing. I actually think there are other ways to raise kids without hitting them.

[Guy13]

Oh, I see you are a religious person.

[Vesuvius87]

Quite the total opposite. I don't believe in religion nor god.

[Guy13]

First of all to say there is no God is too, in fact, acknowledge that God Is. One can not know what “is not” SO since there is no God then you are aware that God Is.

So not only are you religious but you are also an Absolute Truth believer.

[Vesuvius87]

This is the same thing as saying being bald is a hairstyle/color when it isn't.

[Guy13]

That makes no sense comparing apples and oranges. That is definitely the wrong Thinking, Reasoning, or Logic approach.

In no way is baldness and God relatable.
Stick to the topic. Support your no God claim…

[Vesuvius87]

I don't need to prove to anyone about the lack of belief of a god just like you can't prove to me that it exists. It's pointless.

[Guy13]

How did you get here. I have a statement in the beginning God and He created me. How did you get here? I’m saying God created me.

[NamerOfStars]

Not really; culture and genetics certainly shape your moral beliefs, but they don't determine them outright. You're still human; you can make your own evaluations and decisions.

[AmeerX]

I don't see a woman that beats her children as mother of my children.

[Anonymous]

Have your kids, look after them for ten, twenty years, then soap box your higher standards.

Because there's an endless supply of unsolicited advice from people on the sidelines that think they know better.

[exitseven]

I did not spank my kids either. It is not weird. Thee is too much violence in the world as it is.

[Vesuvius87]

yes and it creates bullies

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Yes, I understand….. you want the father to discipline them.

[Vesuvius87]

I don't want anyone hitting my future kid. You can still discipline without hitting.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

You must watch that tone. If yours end us being like my brother then you Willa have a no choice and no problem with it
youtube.com/shorts/-BFL1pWAkPw?feature=share

[SmokinAces2000]

No, my girlfriend said she wouldn’t ever spank our daughter and she’s Latina

[Vesuvius87]

Good. I don't see the point of hitting a child. I see spanking for lazy parents that just want to get rid of their frutrations at that moment. It's all about them and not the child.

[Guardian45]

No, corporeal punishment is wEiRd!🤪

[Vesuvius87]

I find it even weirder those that really think lack of corporal punishment means no discipline at all. They have no idea that you can discipline without hitting.

[Bklynbadboy12]

No that's not weird at all you don't have to do it just act like you will say if you don't stop I'm gonna give you pow pow 🤣🤣🤣🥰

[Andres77]

No tienes chanclas?

[JohnK123]

do latinas spank their kids?

[Vesuvius87]

Most do but I'm breaking out of the bad practice. I hate that tradition.

[JohnK123]

Why do latinas do that? And r u a mom?

[Vesuvius87]

The education is poor in Latin countries and there is too much corruption in politics. Once the education improves, more people will get cultivated and see how wrong that method is. I'm not a mom yet but will solve that issue this year. Yes I'm a childless latina at age 35, lol but I plan on being a mom soon.

[JohnK123]

Is a childless Latina at 35 rare or something

[Vesuvius87]

It's not common but there has been an increasing numbers that aren't mothers right after HS. Several of us nowadays want to focus on college during our early 20's.
In my case, it was both college and my ex boyfriend stringing me along for years. I will have this solved by this year.

[JohnK123]

Ohhhhh. How u gonna solve that lol

[Vesuvius87]

Good question. Well let's just say I've made a deal and if that doesn't work, I'll go for plan B.

[JohnK123]

What’s the deal and what’s plan B lmaooo

[Vesuvius87]

I've made a deal with a willing man that will be my breeder and be in the child's life. Plan B is the artificial insemination and being a single mother, the father being an unknown sperm donor.

[JohnK123]

Lol how did u make that deal…, r u two friends or dating? And oh ok got it…. Is that common with the sperm donor like in life?

[Vesuvius87]

Nope we're not friends nor dating. I have yet to meet him. It's not unheard of and has apparently happened before. It's called natural insemination aka sex.

[JohnK123]

But u called it artificial? Lmao can we pm?

[Vesuvius87]

The artificial insemination (AI) is when a woman goes to a clinic and gets inseminated with a tube that contains the sperm.
The natural insemination (NI) is when a woman find a willing man that will have sex with her to give her a child and sometimes he might even be in the child's life too.

[JohnK123]

Ya 😂 I know… I’m just wondering how u made a deal with a guy u never met to have a kid

[Vesuvius87]

Reddit

[JohnK123]

What about Reddit?

[Vesuvius87]

I find him on that site

[Vesuvius87]

found

[JohnK123]

Oh… how did u even propose ur deal to him… like how did u find and talk to him what did u say lolll

[Vesuvius87]

There were a couple available breeders on the site and I just started replying back. One of them is willing to travel outside of the US and we started chatting from there.

[JohnK123]

I didn’t even think u could find breeders or whatever like that on Reddit etc 💀…, did u have to pay him or something

[Vesuvius87]

no payment so far

[JohnK123]

Then what made him say yes to a random (no offense) person who offered for him to yk

[Vesuvius87]

He wants to be a father for the first time. His 2-3 past ex gfs had fertility issues.

[JohnK123]

Fertility issues? Like what

[Vesuvius87]

His ex gfs had PCOS

[JohnK123]

What’s pcis?

[JohnK123]

Pcos

[Vesuvius87]

polycystic ovary syndrome
It makes women that suffer that have irregular periods (with blood clots, long periods lasting 8 days), higher androgen levels (higher male hormones which causes extra facial and body hairs) and polycystic ovaries (the ovaries are enlarged with multiple fluid filled sacs called follicles). That causes super painful periods too. It can cause women to miscarry.

[JohnK123]

Oh noooooo
Do you have that?
That sounds terrible

[EaterPeter]

No it is not? Did you got spanked as kid?

[Vesuvius87]

Yes. It was done by my father and I hated it. I'm an adult and nope, I NEVER thanked him for that and never will. I hate that practice.

[EaterPeter]

I hear you.

[KrakenAttackin]

Nothing good comes from hitting children.

[Vesuvius87]

This basically. I don't understand the logic of hitting someone you love. Spanking is hitting to me.

[Blacksnake285]

Do you see yourself as white?

[Vesuvius87]

In some aspects. I'm a mixture between my culture but the western culture. For instance, I'm tired of spoiling a boyfriend with meals and acting like a wife when I'm just a girlfriend. It was part of our culture showing appreciation by taking our time in the kitchen (part of showing a feminine quality) but obviously there has to eventually be commitment in return, reciprocal from his side. I won't present a boyfriend to the family anymore nor even posting any pictures on FB nor putting my status ''in the relationship''. I'm more straight forward nowadays.

Stereotypes I don't fit as a Latina:
- I believe in equal rights for all
- I suck at dancing and do not like dancing all day long
- I'm not religious... I'm atheist
- I have nothing against premarital sex and obviously didn't wait till marriage; though I would prefer it in a relationship that leads towards marriage
- I believe there should be options towards girls (ages 10-12) that got raped and impregnated by a pedophile; she shouldn't be forced to proceed with the pregnancy... I believe in exceptional cases
- If I don't mind marriage soon and someone is available, I'm afraid I'm going to bend the rules just so I can be a mother at least. I have to end this childless stage anytime this year.
- I didn't learn how to cook until I was 29/30 years old. My mother never taught me, lol.

[Vesuvius87]

Another thing I don't fit: I don't have 4-5 kids. I'm childless at 35 years old and will turn 36 by April 7. However, I'll take care of this matter in whatever way possible, even if it means bending the rules.

Things that I still fit in my stereotype though:
- I've never done casual sex, my count remains at 1 and never did cohabitation. Ideally I would've wanted the normal process of falling in love, getting married and havings kids. But whatever, I might have to bend the rules and go against that if it means having a kid on time. I fell asleep during all my 20's, oops.

[Blacksnake285]

I will bare you a child 😉

[Blacksnake285]

How many guys hit you up daily?