I've never hit my kid and I'm hispanic... is this rare?

[Anonymous]

He's now 6 and a sweet, smart kid. Meanwhile practically everyone in my family would hit their kids, I feel like a rare exception. I never felt any urge to hit a tiny human I gave life to, that loves and trusts.

I can't relate to that culture anymore. My mother used to apply flipflops. While I wouldn't say it affected me, I don't go to the extreme of glorifying it (I'm used to seeing too many hispanics being proud of getting hit as if that's some pride... I find that weird) and thanking her for that either. There are other ways and hitting isn't educating. I feel alone within my family. It's like I'm the only hispanic mother that never hit. Is this rare?

[strateguy632]

Good for you. Parents need to ask themselves: how the kid will think of me, remember me, when they grow up!

And just in time for hispanic month... that i missed , now November! Not hearing about it in schools nor news! because nobody actually respects hispanics nor minorities, people only pander insincerely to blacks... alone, not really respected minorities as exposed by lack of mention of hispanic in news and here!

[Danny_dan92]

What does being hispanic have anything to do with hitting kids?

[Asker]

A lot. They even make stereotypical jokes about Mexican mothers like mine using flipflops (aka la chancla) and others using belts, paddles or extension cords. This ethnicity takes pride in doing that and many expressed being grateful and proud of getting hit by those objects. Frankly I'll never understand being proud of getting hit. I'm proud of other things in life that I'm benefiting from. The only pain I can be proud of is giving birth to my son. But grateful/proud of getting hit? Makes no sense.

[Danny_dan92]

I know… I’m mexican myself. My point is you don’t think other ethnicities hit their kids? Rhetorical question by the way

[Asker]

Yeah Asians and Caribbeans are said to be worse. It's just that Latinos and hispanics have earned that reputation more.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Not rare, I don't think

[Asker]

I feel alone (within my ethnicity) in this though. I've always felt there are other ways to discipline and educate a child. I like thinking outside the box.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Ethnicity has nothing to do with it, physical discipline has been a working method for a long time in parenthood, if you can find another method around that, that works and that doesn't require to get physical then by all means that's good, you don't have to rely on something cause others do it, the importance is that you raise your child right and discipline them when they do something wrong and they learn from the discipline, if it's not necessary and you hit them then that's when it crosses the line from discipline to abuse.

[Asker]

What I'm finding about the past if that some parents were indeed borderline abusive. For instance my mother once told me her mother (my grandma) would smack her hand for getting her homework incorrectly or once got shaken at age 10 for accidentally spilling milk. Then others would immediately go for physical discipline as first resort without trying to communicate and trying the other methods at first.
Personally I think the spanking with the flipflop (not belt nor paddle as that's too much) should be placed as last resort when everything (esp if the parents also visited different child psychologists) has failed and the child is a total special case with a dificult personality.

[Asker]

Luckily my son isn't one of those special cases and does well with a firm voice and then removal of privileges if he keeps doing it. He hasn't ever pushed further.

[guesswhereivebeen]

Wait till your kids a teenager telling you to fuck off

[Asker]

Well then he would be contradicting himself. I didn't enter his life. He did. I was single and minding my own business before having him in my life so as long as he's a minor, he is my business.
Telling me to fuck off when he entered my life. Nope. He's my business until he's 18. Afterwards it's optional.

[Asker]

That would actually make me laugh before obviously grounding him, removing his priviledges and letting him know until he's 18, I'm not fucking off.
If he keeps insisting I can test him and he like "Well then the door is open, can you pack all your clothes, get a job and provide for yourself now, afterall you don't need me anymore".

[guesswhereivebeen]

It sounds easy… maybe he gets himself a drug habit and steals all your valuable shit … I don’t think smacking a kid upside the head is always bad… it’s not good most of the time but kids can do some wild shit

[Asker]

There is a chance that can backfire badly and he can hit back too (it happened to my uncle twice with his son) and then what, more hitting and he gets worse?

[Asker]

There is the 50% chance they will just obey out of fear and a 50% chance they'll retaliate. The cases of young people hitting back their parents have lately increased.