What does it mean when I guy says, "I've missed talking to you"?

[Anonymous]

A friend I haven't heard from in years got back in touch. When I asked why he said, "I've missed talking to you." Since then he's kept in touch, sometimes 2-3 times a day. Should I be reading more into what he's saying...or is he only interested in conversation with a friend?

[steve1122]

I think he is probably interested in you. But remember, he hasn't seen you in years, so the image of you he has in his head may be far from the person you are now- in other words, he may have some very unrealistic expectations.

But if you think you might be interested as well, why not suggest the two of you get together to catch up? At least you will find out one way or the other, rather than sit around wondering...

[Asker]

He's seen recent pics of me, from some reunion photos (we went to college together). Often when he writes, he'll mention that he wants us to meet soon to "catch up". (We now live in different states.) He keeps me posted of his travel schedule in the event I happen to be in the same town as him on business. He just wrote that he'll be in my neck of the woods next year...and asked how far away I'll be from him, etc. Which sure sounds like he's interested to me.

[Asker]

The only problem is, is when I ask what's up (why he really got back in touch)...he goes silent, sometimes disappears for days/weeks. I guess I'll know soon enough if we do meet, but it seems cat's got his tongue.

[Asker]

You're right about the unrealistic expectations part. I think I may have some too. Thanks for your advice.

[steve1122]

Be careful that you don't end up being in the role of someone he just visits once in a while, when his busy schedule permits, basically for a booty call. If he's really in another state, and is travelling so much of the time, are you really going to be able to sustain a relationship anyway?

[Asker]

I have no intention of becoming his (or anyone else's) booty call. I don't mind occasional visits as friends, that is what friends do after all. However, if he wants more, then he'll need to step up to the plate and let me know what's on his mind. I'll decide from there if I'm in or out. And if, as you say, he's only interested in a booty call from time to time, he'll be out of luck, and unfortunately, our friendship would probably end, as I would think he had more respect for me than that.

[Asker]

If he is interested in something more serious, then geography is something we could work through. We both have crazy schedules, but enough flexibility to re-locate if necessary. But that's putting the cart before the horse now, isn't it? :)

[steve1122]

I wonder if he might be married...? That might explain the long silences- he is at home with his wife for a while, and won't contact you until he is back on the road. I work in field service myself, and do a lot of travelling. Some guys believe their marriage certificate is only good in the state in which it was issued. Could be innocent, but be careful. If I am into a girl, no way do days or weeks go by without my making some kind of contact though.

[Asker]

I think the most poignant thing mentioned, is that if you (and perhaps other AVAILABLE men as well) have real feelings for a woman, you wouldn't let days/weeks pass without engaging with her. I'm not sure what's up with my friend, but unfortunately, I'm beginning to grow suspicious of his motives. Sad, once we were great friends. Only time will tell, but I'll try to keep my mind open to his possible "honorable" intentions, while still maintaining a cautious "distance". Thanks Wise Sage :)

[steve1122]

You are very welcome! I am involved with a beautiful woman now, and I think of her many times a day. I can't even imagine having no contact with her for more than a single day. That's a really big indicator- don't underestimate it! Good luck.

[sincerelyedward]

i know that when I've said this, it was only and ever because I was truly interested in that girl.

[Asker]

Thanks Sincerely. I hope you were brave enough to tell her/them so. If in fact that is the case with my friend, he hasn't quite mustered up the courage to tell me so directly.

[devotedlyopinionated]

He sounds like he could be interested but don't read into it too much because you might be reading way more into what is just a reunion message!

[Anonymous]

It means he misses texting you? Durp.