Why am I still affected by this?

And some people may relate...

I've been bullied my whole years of school elem-mid-high. After graduating high school I haven't been bullied but experienced it when I first started my job back in 2020 but year later died down. I get along with several others at work and made a few friends also a boyfriend. There are some mornings i wake up fine and don't think of anything. Then random days i wake up with anxious and having flashbacks about being builled. It causes me not to want to go outside. I don't think about the past bullying at all but it hits me out of nowhere. I don't look or am the same person i was when i was getting bullied.

Why am I still affected by this?
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